Let's Talk About Death

Let’s Talk about Death and Dying

I know most people pretend to be shocked, scared, afraid, and even horrified of the topic.

WHY?

From the moment we are born, we begin to learn, understand, and grasp our world. Every day we are experiencing so many things that prepare us for our future. That future is wild and varied. There are millions of things that can happen, and each decision we make affects what those future events will be. Many things are predictable, even to be expected. Some things catch us by surprise. As we grow daily, we should be gaining understanding, even learning how to feel about these things.

There are many things we should never be shocked, surprised, or going through life not expecting to happen. Death is one of those.

But so many people seem shocked, act like it was not expected, or like they never thought it would affect them.

People act like Death is horrible, or that people should not have died, or that they died too soon.

Two things are certain in this Universe: Death Will Happen. Nobody can die before it is their time.

You are welcome to disagree with these. That is your choice. If you do, however, you are creating the problems I mentioned above (shock, disbelief, confusion, surprise, even worry).

Sure, Death can be very upsetting, causing voids, grief, emptiness, sadness … Those can only be addressed once we each experience death around us. These are things we can learn some from watching others affected, and gain understanding, possibly even gain some sort of expectation how it could affect us when that time comes that the death is close, or personal, to ourselves.

Death really is the one area that people behave horribly when it comes close to them.

I do not pretend to be some sort of all-knowing guru. I DO choose to pay attention, and prepare myself for the things that I know will affect me. WHY DO I CHOOSE to pay attention in great detail to DEATH?? Because I FEEL IT. EVERY PERSON I HAVE EVER KNOWN who has died, I HAVE KNOWN BEFORE ANYONE CONTACTED ME, or Before I saw it in the news.

By Learning about Death, By Choosing to Understand Death, By Choosing to Accept Death as something that WILL affect Me, I can be prepared for Death when it happens. I CHOOSE To Learn, Because I KNOW it Will Affect me. How it affects me is easier if I know it will happen.

Being aware, educated, understanding of Death is no different than anything else in life we prepare for. It should not matter what the life-lesson is, If We Know it will happen, we should teach ourselves to be better prepared for it. Learning about death should be no different than anything else you prepare for. But it is. Most people ignore Death, even go through life pretending it is not there. They are afraid of it, which also causes them to freak-out when it does happen.

Imagine if everyone eagerly learned about Death like we do everything else we all prepare for?
When we learn to walk, we also learn to fall. We learn We WILL Fall, so we learn all about falling, what hurts less, and how to possibly gain more balance, hopefully learning to fall less-often and we learn more about it. When we learn to swim, we know the water hurts when we accidentally breathe it in. We know that ultimately we want to learn how to NOT choke, how to not be hurt by the water. We learn how the water can harm us, so that we can learn to be comfortable, calm, and actually find comfort and peace in something that could be harmful. When we learn to eat, we know we will choke if we are not paying attention. We learn how some foods affect us differently after we’ve eaten them. We learn how to fuel our minds and bodies with the different foods, instead of how to continue harming ourselves, or pretending to be shocked when we eat certain foods. When we learn to drive, We KNOW we will get in a wreck and get hurt, so we teach ourselves to be prepared for it. We know a vehicle could lose control, so we learn how to skid, steer, and maneuver during those situations so we can hopefully avoid the wreck, or at least minimize the impact. We know a car will skid on ice, so we purposefully go out to a safe place in the ice and practice skidding so we know how it will behave, and how to regain control. We do not just go barreling down an icy road and expect we will not lose control. We learn about Fire, because We KNOW Fire Will affect us at some point, and we want to learn all about it so we are prepared when it does affect us. We learn how a fire starts, how it spreads, and how to control it if we want the fire (camp fire, fireplace, candle, tiki torch, etc), and how to extinguish it if we do not want it. We learn about electricity because we KNOW it will Hurt us if we are not careful with it. We learn to use electricity wisely and cautiously because we know how much it hurts when we get careless with it.

So, Why on Earth do so many people pretend Death is not something we should learn about? Why do so many people pretend it is scary, unexpected, or even shocking when it happens?

Why do people pretend Death is horrible? Why do So many people pretend Death of a certain age, gender, ethnicity, nationality, religion, etc it more horrible? EVERY SOUL in this Universe is EQUAL. The media is ridiculous about this. No matter what Death is being reported, they always focus on how many children, or how many women, or how many of this religion, or how many of that country, or how many were military, or how many were police officers, or how many were parents, or how many were (pick a category, title, status, education level, job-type, country, gender …) It is completely ridiculous, and only helps to fuel the shock, fear, and confusion. Death is Death. Each Soul, whether Human, Animal, Insect, Alien … Death is Equal. No Death is a “Greater Loss”.

I Know Most people will not understand my views. I do not expect them to. BUT I DO Expect that when Death occurs (and it WILL), that others not Cause more harm by their own lack of understanding, or lack of expectation.

What does that mean? It means that when Death happens, Let Each person Feel, process, sort, and go through it as it is best for them. It means Do not Force Your feelings, or Desires, on another.

There is not a soul in our Universe that can tell another how they should or should not feel once death affects them. Nor is there a certain way any one person will, or will not feel. There is no right or wrong in how we feel or are affected. Each Person Can and Should be allowed to tell others what is harmful to that individual during the process.  Nobody should ever attempt to hijack another’s emotions and demand anything from that individual during the process. But if someone goes through life pretending they were not expecting death, that is their own creation in failing to accept what they have seen from birth and should be prepared for. Often, though, many people get extremely selfish and forget to think how their desires will affect another. When Death affects someone, I choose to see what that person’s needs are, never approaching them with what I want. If they are silent, that is their choice. If they choose to be alone, that is their choice. If they choose to join online discussions about it, that is their choice. If they choose to remain offline, that is their choice. But so many think they should not be allowed to make those choices, and force their desires upon them … especially in today’s instant-online-world.

I WILL NEVER Be SHOCKED by DEATH. But that DOES NOT mean I do not FEEL it. I FEEL it on a Spiritual level, not an Earthly level. What does that mean? Well, I cannot in a few sentences explain Spirituality, But it means I am connected in feeling with the Universe. It is in MY SOUL, not in my mind. I connect with living beings spiritually. I feel spiritually. I interact spiritually. My Heart, Soul, and Mind are Spiritual, not physical. Our Lives on this Earth are a Spiritual Journey in a physical world. Most people go through life in a physical journey seeking spirituality. I came into this Earth as a Spiritual Being, forced to attempt to understand the Physical world. Ever wonder why I love nature? Nature operates in unison with the Spiritual world. So much of the physical world is in direct conflict with the Spiritual World. This is why so many people freak out when Death occurs. They seek Physical understanding, instead of Spiritual. I cannot understand this.

It should be no surprise to anyone that knows me that I AM a Spiritual Being. It should also be no surprise to anyone why I got upset when so many tagged me in the horrible even that Happened in Las Vegas on Oct 1^st.

I deleted my FaceBook because of how Awful so many were behaving, and Forcing their desires upon me.
Want to know how to behave when something horrific like that happens? Simple: Pretend we are still in 1970. Pretend there is no FaceBook. BE PATIENT. Yes, Really. YOU DO NOT NEED to KNOW INSTANTLY. YOU CANNOT DO ANYTHING whether someone was or was not at the incident. YOU DO NOT NEED to Know Instantly if someone is Hurt, or even Dead. Want to Know how to know if Someone is affected?? Tune in Spiritually into our Universe. You WILL KNOW. Blowing-up someone’s phone, or online-place is Totally not Acceptable. That is totally ONLY to Satisfy Your own selfish need to feel you somehow have control, or could do anything about what happens.  NOTHING YOU DO in blowing up someone’s phone, or tagging them online helps ANYONE but Your own selfishness. No Matter IF they Were or were not affected, What could you possibly do to change that?? Nothing. TRUST The Universe. TUNE in to your own Spirituality. WORRY NEVER HELPS. NEVER. Name me one situation where WORRY had any sort of positive outcome? You DO NOT NEED to KNOW INSTANTLY. YOU WILL KNOW when the time is right.

This Trust in The Universe I mention? That is Spirituality. It is Not Physical. May I suggest a VERY Simple way for you to begin a Spiritual Journey and Connection?? Unplug. Yes. Unplug. Get away from your phone, ipod, music, facebook. Go sit somewhere in nature. Experience Nature. Look up at the Stars. Watch them, understand them. Watch the Ocean. Not building sand castles, or Frisbee on the beach. Go sit someplace next to the ocean and connect with it. Walk into a Forest and FEEL what the Trees have to offer. Sit on a Mountain. Alone. Let YOUR Spirituality Speak, and connect. Not Tuning in to what another wants. You. The Universe. It will Blow Your Mind. Only Once You Connect with The Spiritual Universe will you understand why YOU NEVER NEED to Immediately KNOW about another.

Why did ALL of you online piss me off?? BECAUSE WHILE I was Attempting to take care of myself, feel what I needed to Feel, Sort What I needed to Sort, balance all that I was Feeling From ALL THE LIVES Affected, I was Forced to Stop and Satisfy YOUR Selfish needs. Imagine if YOU were the one so closely affected and instead of taking care of your own Spiritual and Mental well-being, suddenly You were forced to answer hundreds of people questions, all because They felt they needed to know instantly, or feel because something is trending online, they all needed to also join the trend.(here’s a Hint: FaceBook does NOT Exist to help You in your spiritual journey. FaceBook Exists to make money. EVERYTHING FaceBook does is to Generate money, gather information about you, and steer the user in whatever direction benefits FB most. In FB, We are The Product, NOT the Customer. If Facebook posts something about a disaster, the sole purpose is to get you to join-in. Nothing about that post is intended to help anyone. Ask yourself, Seriously: How does getting thousands of people to join a post, tag others, etc help anyone? It does not. Also think about this: IF someone wants to use FB to tell people they are safe in a situation, they would post on their own profile. Nobody will go searching for some random generic post to notify their loved ones they are ok. They will post in their own profile where if anyone was seeking information, they would logically go look.) It is No Secret that I always teach “You are free to do what you want in this Universe, as Long As it DOES NO HARM to yourself or Another.” Well, None of you posting and tagging stopped to consider how Much you were harming others. ALWAYS STOP. Consider. Be Patient. NOBODY NEEDS to KNOW Instantly.

Speaking of tuning-in Spiritually:
Sometimes it is Horrible. But That is Because You will Feel things in much more Magnitude than the ones who do not feel Spiritually. I was Born a Spiritual being. I have been forced to learn more about many things than most ever consider. Often it means I feel things before they happen. Then you just gotta bear that pain until it does. But once it does, you feel a sort-of-relief.

The event in Las Vegas on Oct 1^st was one of those.

I always knew that event-center would be the most horrific thing to ever happen in Vegas.

On the second day after I moved to Vegas, in 2011, I happened to go to The Mandalay Bay, and happened to walk that whole area. From the moment I got off the Bus at Mandalay Bay, I could not stand how it felt. It was an absolute Horrible Spiritual-unrest area. The Entire Mandalay Bay Property, The Luxor Property, The Property across the street (which at that time was a parking lot with broken lamp posts, weeds growing through the cracked asphalt, and run-down old carnival equipment, broken casino equipment, and abandoned Semi-trailers), and The Tropicana Property Was an Area I could not comfortable even walk through.  I still to this day never have researched what happened in that area long ago to cause it to be a Spiritual Unrest area. But I knew it was a Horrible spot. Years later they cleaned up that old parking lot, and made it The Mandalay Bay Event Center. When They Did, I told everyone I knew to NEVER go to an Event there, Because I could Feel it would Be The Worst Thing to Ever happen in Vegas. I could Feel It. I could not feel WHEN it would, only that it would. Every time anyone I knew told me they were attending an event there, I would warn them about what I felt. Without fail, every one of them would tell me after the event that they also could feel it while there, most would leave the event before it was done, because they felt like something awful was going to happen.

I have no idea how long now it has been the event center. But I do know that every time I saw an advertisement for it, I would cry out in pain.

As the week of this year’s Route 91 Music Festival approached, many people arrived at the airport where I work, excited to go to this event. They flew to Vegas only to attend this event. I tried to tell them this was a bad idea, and KNEW this Event Was the one that would be Horrific. But because I work for the airline and at the airport, I also am expected to present a false encouragement to these travelers, even when I know it will be harmful to them.

As the event weekend came, I saw many people posting online about music festivals, and outdoor events they were at. I carefully looked over the photos and videos they posted to be sure they were NOT at the Route 91 festival.  Fortunately none of my friends were at that festival. (turns out later, I found out a friend Was There, but I had not seen any  posts, nor had she mentioned it before going).

The night of Oct 1^st, Oddly I went to sleep very peacefully. I even had the window wide open, and no fan running. I live just over 2-miles from the event. I did not hear a sound as I fell asleep just before 9pm. I slept more solid and more peacefully than I usually do. I woke at 3:30 am and Immediately could feel something happened. The Universe Felt Silent. It was an Eerie calm. After I got my coffee, I realized it was the same feel the universe had on the morning of Sept 11^th 2001 when I woke. I Could Feel ALL The Horror. I knew immediately Nobody I knew was killed.  I knew Immediately why I slept so peacefully and did not hear a sound: The Universe made sure I detached from what I normally felt, otherwise being SO Close to me, It would have destroyed me. IF I was tuned-in like normal, I WOULD HAVE FELT EVERY PERSON being Shot, injured and killed.

Living just over 2-miles from where it happened was horrible to feel. But even worse, was When I went to work. The airport shares the property with the event place. I was arriving to THE SAME PLACE WHERE IT HAPPENED! I was less than a Mile, and Could FEEL it all WAAAy too Much!

When I arrived at work in the morning, It was The Hardest Thing ever to See all the people at the airport early, just wanting to “Leave this horrible place” … These were the same people I tried to convince upon arrival that they did not want to attend that event. They were freshly bandaged, some still had blood splatters on their clothes. They had only what they were wearing at the event. They left their suitcases and all their other worldly belongings behind. Many were leaving behind friends and family in the hospitals with uncertain futures. Once they were treated and released they only wanted to get out and go home.

Fortunately (and unfortunately at the same time) I was teaching that week. Fortunately, because it removed me from full-interaction face-to-face with all the affected travelers. That would have been unbearable for me to feel and continue. Also fortunately, because teaching Is an Amazing Distraction, focusing on growing, and the future. The Unfortunate side of being a teacher that week was that the class room is at the end of the building closer to the event. I could feel it much more in the classroom than at the check in counter area.

Later, I would learn that some of those leaving without their suitcases left them behind because The Mandalay Bay Hotel was on lockdown, and the travelers were not allowed to go get their belongings. Later, The Mandalay Bay released their belongings, and we would have to arrange to deliver them back home to the travelers. Some were flown home on Medivac flights, and the luggage could not be transported with them, so we also arranged to deliver their bags. That also was horrific to handle.

I took a much-needed vacation as soon as I was done with Teaching that week. Besides just needing a Vacation/ break, I also needed time to just sort/ process/ feel all that was part of that week.  As My vacation began, I Did feel an unusual strong urge to go walk by the place where it happened. I Already Know this is not how I normally feel, and normally need to stay far away because I would feel all the pain too much. But as my vacation went-on, The feel subsided. I did not purposely go down there. One day by chance I was in a friend’s car on the way to breakfast, and we drove past. Just driving past was difficult, but not overwhelming. It had been 12 days already, and they still had the entire event place cordoned off with crime scene tape, and officers on guard all around the property. None of the items set-up for the event had been touched. Banners, booths, food trailers, merchandise vendors, sound-systems, performer rv’s … Everything was exactly where it was when it all happened. The two windows on the 32^nd floor of The Mandalay Bay were boarded-up but painted a similar color of gold as the iconic gold-mirrored-glass that the windows are. Unless anyone already knew which windows were broken-out, they would hardly notice the boarded up ones. I happened to know, because I could see them broken and the curtains billowing out the morning after when I arrived at work. Yes my work is that close to all of this.

I decided as we drove past, I really did not need to go visit the site on foot.  4-days later, I just happened to be nearby on The Strip. (nearby a block away at Tropicana. I only intended to catch a bus to the Town Square for some shopping. Town Square is about 1-1/2 miles beyond The Mandalay Bay. The bus went right down The Strip. Stopped in front of Mandalay Bay. As soon as it stopped, it was unbearable. I knew right then, there was no way I could go visit the site in person. I realized it was so unbearable BEFORE this happened, No Way I will purposely go there now.  Even at the Town Square, it was really unbearable. I got back on the bus, and went to the South Outlets, where it was totally fine.

I learned sometime after the incident, about what concert-goers describe as “Some Crazy Lady disturbing the concert-goers with cries of ‘get out, you all will die’”.  Ha. That totally would have been me if I was down there! I find it sad how many now say things like “omigosh, obviously she was an accomplice” or “she obviously knew of the shooter’s plan”. Umm, No. That is exactly what being spiritually tuned-in is. Trusting your feelings, and not just dismissing them. It is said that security escorted her out, describing her as “A Crazy homeless person”. If only people would actually pay attention to those of us deemed as “Crazy”. We are deemed as “Crazy” because we are tuned-in, instead of choosing not to be like most of the people.  I have spoken to many of my friends who actually were planning to go, even had tickets, but they felt something was not right, so did not go. Most people sell tickets if they will not attend an event they purchase tickets for. But every one of my friends who did not go said the same thing: Did not feel right to sell the tickets that day. They are the ones listening to what the Universe is telling them.

I also heard from many of my friends who stated “I Knew you were not there, and Knew you were not physically harmed, nor dead.” To Those, I say THANK YOU and I LOVE YOU For tuning-in.
But beyond simply tuning-in, a little logic also would tell most that I never would have been there. Y’all already know that IF I was planning to attend something like a festival, I would post the shit outta that in advance with enthusiasm and excitement. Also, y’all already know there is no way I would go on a work night, and most likely would not go to a crowded concert with strobe lights. But One glance at any online site I participate in, and you would know for sure if I was there or not.  But like I mentioned above, People lose their mind when Death is mentioned. This is Why I Try and teach people to prepare for such things. If You are aware it can and will happen, You will approach it with understanding and logic, instead of hurtful actions.

Now, A bit more about how I feel about Death.

Kinda fitting, that the last thing I posted online before going to bed that night was a poem about Death. A friend had sent a cartoon drawing of a tombstone, with instructions to “Fill-it in, and send it back for him to reshare”. He had sent it the week prior, but I tend to wait until the time feel is right to do such things. That evening was when I felt it was right. I even knew what to fill in on my tombstone. A Poem Called “I'm not here”.  Here is a photo of what I sent: (The Orignal is pictured at the top of this blog, and also hangs in my home.)

How Do I feel about Death?

To me, Death means you have finished the race, crossed the finish line, and can finally stop the never-ending battle to exist on the physical side of Earth. It Means you have Finally escaped, Found total peace, and are finally free of the Earthly Burdens. Death is Certain. Every Living Thing Dies.  I have written many blogs previously  about my views on Death.

Some may think I am heartless, or uncaring when Death occurs because I do not behave irrationally like most do.  This would be the same as they react after seeing me in some other event. I have been in burning buildings, and take care of the situation as if it was no big deal. I have been attacked by gangs, and witnesses say how it looked like I was just not phased, or emotional at all. I have had guns and knives pulled on me. I take care of the problem, and move-on.  How I choose to behave when something happens is Always based on learning from previous experiences. I have been in situations where I lose it emotionally. Then I learn how to do it better the next time. Ask yourself this: Would you rather lose it emotionally and have the situation get the best of you, or would you rather study, learn, understand and keep your cool so that you can take care of the situation? People who go thru life pretending something is shocking and letting their emotions get the best of them are the ones who cause the most harm to themselves and others. I KNOW from past experiences how it feels. It hurts either way. But the hurt is much less when I stay calm, and stop whatever is happening than to freak out and get the worst of it. If I freaked out, not only did I have the pain of the event to deal with, but also the guilt of not taking care of it as I should have. Life is so much less painful when we learn, understand, and prepare for it.

I treat Death just like every other situation in life.

I WANT to Know about it, Understand it, and be Prepared for it.

No way I want to be scared to go through life. I want to thrive, and enjoy as much of it as possible. If I gotta exist in a physical world, I will make the most of it, and hopefully be happy while doing it. To go through life pretending something like death cannot happen, or be shocked when it does would be crippling.

I know most like to embrace phases like “Life is short, so … (fill-in the blank)” I disagree. Life is NOT Short. It is THE LONGEST thing we do on this Earth. Think about it. You complain that you had a long commute to work. You complain you had a long wait at the Dr’s office. You complain that the checkout line was long. You complain you had a Long walk to get somewhere. You complain that you had a long night, or a Long shift at work. You complain that your server took a long time to bring your food. You complain that you waited a long time for your Birthday, or Vacation, or to See someone, or to see a Movie, Concert, or an event. Or complain that Friday is a Long Ways off. Or That you went a long time without sex, a beer, cheesecake, or whatever. Yet, then you say Life is Short, so …

… Please explain to me how you feel life is short. Yes, I know people mean it is often ended before they expected it to. Or it could end before they expect it to. BUT IT IS LITERALLY THE LONGEST THING YOU WILL EVER DO ON THIS EARTH. I do not say “Life is Short, so …” I Always say “Life is Long, …” Meaning because we are here for a long time, why wouldn’t you want to make it as happy as possible? Why wouldn’t you strive to make it as pleasant as possible? Why Wouldn’t you try to make the longest thing you ever do less-shocking, and more livable?

Some of you (most, hopefully) know I have attempted Suicide. I actually was released from the Psych Ward while still wanting to kill myself.  Wait, WHAT? You Say? Yup. The Psych Ward KNEW I WANTED to Die. I still do. This is not a secret. As I’ve said before, having to live as a Spiritual Being in a physical World is miserable. Living on this Earth is horrible. I’d Rather be dead, and reunited with the Spiritual side. (Now before any of you decide to freak out, STOP. Think about this.)  I was released from The Psych Ward in 2005. Notice I am still Alive. Why, You Ask?? Because I learned from my attempted suicides. Just like everything else in life. I learned the pain I was causing was not making me happier. I learned I am Not Allowed to Die yet. Yes, You read that right. I am NOT ALLOWED TO DIE YET. This is when I realized Nobody can die before their time they are supposed-to. One of the things I have learned in my Spiritual Journey is that everything happens when it is supposed, how it is supposed-to, and why it is supposed-to. Yes, We Do have control to a degree. Everything we do does determine the path we will take until our time to leave the living side of Earth arrives. I think I have written some of the detail of how and where I attempted suicide. (it’s been years since I actively wrote … I’d have to go look and see if I actually published those … I know I have told many in person, but not sure I ever put those in a blog.)

It actually is quite comical to know that there is nothing I cannot do if I decide I will do it … Except Suicide. All the failed attempts really are comical when ya look how thorough I was, and how they should never have failed. I am in no way making light of suicide. What leads people to attempt suicide is horrible. The path one goes down while suicidal is beyond fucked-up mentally. It took me years to openly talk about it. Why did I start talking about it?? Because THAT IS THE REASON I AM NOT ALLOWED TO DIE YET. I am Here to help others, and I do.

This Also is Why even after I deleted my FaceBook, when it reappeared yesterday, with notification from FB saying “it’s been three-weeks, we thought you might want to come back” I actually Laughed. Because the day before while talking with a friend about how I helped them learn to be body-positive, not afraid of depression, and not afraid of death were all from where she saw me posting in Facebook. Yes, I despise FB for how we are the product. I thrive mostly in Snapchat now, and a little in Instagram, and random other sites. While I was off of FB, I enjoyed not having to feel the need to even look at it. But The driving force in why I am Still Alive on This Earth is to help as many people as possible to learn to love themselves, learn to be Spiritual, and learn to Live a Joyous Life, since it IS The Longest Thing We will do. While I would love it if more friends would join me in Snapchat, For whatever reason, that seems to not be happening. Facebook sadly is the place where I can reach more of my friends daily. It is convenient, and I can easily find older posts in my archives.

For now, I have my FB active again. If you are one of the offenders who likes to hijack others’ emotions while they are dealing with Death, or some other event, I will Remind you that you are misbehaving, and likely remove you, instead of remove myself.

My Journey in Life is to Continue on my Spiritual Journey, Teach Body-positive, Self-love, and how to be over-all Positive. If you wish to come along, I will not remove you. However, another thing I have learned is that I am not afraid to let the trash take itself out. If you attempt to harm me, I will let you put yourself in the dumpster.

Oh! I almost forgot!

Let’s talk about ENERGY and how it affects us.
If You are one of those people who sees a story on the news, or social media, and immediately worries about someone you know in that city the news happened in, STOP THAT!
Do you understand how Energy Works?? What you focus-on, manifests. So Why On Earth would you see a news story. Let’s use Vegas as an Example. You see a story about Vegas, and immediately Worry that I am included, or might be affected. Excuse me?!? There are two Million People in Vegas, and You choose to place that negative Energy Into My Aura~! Hell Naw~ The same thing used to happen in Portland: People would see a news story about a pedestrian getting hit by a car, and immediately worry that It was ME. Umm Excuse Me!?? Like there are how many Hundreds of thousands of Pedestrians, yet you want to project that Negative Ass Energy My way?? KNOCK THAT SHIT OFF!

Shiiit If I am Not allowed to Kill Myself, and Do ALL I Can daily to keep a positive vibe, and find the positive, Yet You All Are Projecting that Shit on Me!? Shiit! No wonder life is a struggle! Imagine if I was not so strong, how far y’all would push me down!  Do Me a favor: I Work Daily to Lift You up, PLEASE DO THE SAME FOR ME.

As for When Will I Die?
Be assured When I die, I will be Doing Something Wonderful. It Will be My Time, and I hope Every one Who Says  they Love me, comes to Celebrate My Life, not Mourn my death. I Sure Hope that When I Die, EVERY One of The People I have helped along the way says the same thing: “It was Time for that Magical Unicorn To Go on to The Spiritual Side.” Hopefully not one utters the words “That Unicorn was taken too soon.” Bitch, Please! I already have been here Waaaay Longer than I ever expected. The struggle is real. Let me go already!

 LIFE IS LONG. MAKE IT ENJOYABLE. BE AS FREE AS POSSIBLE. LET YOUR UNICORN OUTTA THE CLOSET.