Saturday, July 6, 2013

A G-string, a Pretzel, and a 5-minute Quickie?

Do Pretzels and G-strings have anything in Common?

And How can a “Five-Minute-Quickie” be completely non-sexual?? Wait, what!??
Who would have thought that by simply buying a Giant Pretzel and having a daily “Five-Minute-Quickie” could lead to me buying a G-string… and More specifically, A Christmas G-string, Complete with bells!! Wait, What?!
There's A Funny Story to go with this!

Yep, Leave it to me to connect the subject of a Pretzel as an after-work snack with a Thrift-store-find of a Christmas G-String…. And the “Quickie”? And how on Earth could all this be anything but Sexual?? THAT IS THE BEST PART! It has Absolutely Nothing Sexual about any of it! You will just hafta read more to understand…

Sometimes, no matter how well we think we know our own self, there is occasionally something that happens to make us find out we really are not as set-in-stone as we think, or as firm on what we think we will, or will not do. Occasionally, even something you only saw as “sexual” can suddenly be the exact opposite. This is my story about allowing myself to buy, wear, and even share publicly A Christmas G-String (complete with bells!)

Have you ever met someone that manages to challenge you in so many wonderful ways? A person who somehow has the ability to allow you to open-up even more than you ever thought would happen? A person who somehow manages to get you talking openly about things you thought you’d long ago said all there was to say? A person who manages to even make you consider doing, or wearing something you would have previously thought you would absolutely NEVER do?

My friend Kara has done exactly that. Kara has become a trusted, valued friend. She has managed to show me how caring, safe, and comfortable someone can be. Kara has managed, without even trying, just by being her normal self, has helped me learn more, explore more, and embrace more of what, who, and why I am the way I am. (I bet that sentence muggled your brain, huh?)

Now, before anyone gets the idea that Kara is my girlfriend…. Nope! I am not interested in having, or finding a girlfriend. Nor, is she interested in finding or having a boyfriend. We each have plenty to take care of in our own lives, and are not interested in complicating life more with that sort of relationship. I know from life, that most people cannot fathom a man and a woman being friends, simply friends, with NO Sexual interactions, desires, or temptations. But those people have never really gotten to know who I am, or what I am all about. Simply put, I am Non-sexual. Period. I absolutely love the genuine friendship that can be had, and absolutely do not want anything more.

I met Kara well over a year ago, and at the very first time we met, we managed to find plenty to talk about. She was working at a Kiosk in Downtown Las Vegas. More specifically, she was working where I liked to stop daily for a snack after work. This Kiosk sold many items, and like so many places, it also offered those wonderful Giant Pretzels. There were easily a dozen places I could get a pretzel, but This Kiosk happened to feel the most comfortable, plus the employees were always friendly, liked to get to know their customers, and made each one feel important, welcome, and cared about. I could easily have gotten the same snack, or an equivalent anywhere, but I was always drawn back here. I had been going to this kiosk long before Kara began working there. I was a regular, and all I had to do was become visible, and the workers knew what I wanted, often placing my pretzel in the toasting machine before I even got to the counter. This same was true on Kara’s first day. I walked toward the kiosk, and the lady training Kara told her what I wanted before I even got there. Of course, Kara looked at me like “Why is He so Special?”, but not in a mean way, more of a curious way. The other lady introduced us, and We immediately found plenty to talk about. That day was the beginning of a friendship.

I do not often, easily let others into my world, or even feel comfortable being welcomed into their world. I often am a loner, or socially awkward enough that the social-necessities that often accompany getting to know someone, or even to be comfortable in allowing them to know details about who I am, are guarded. That is one reason photography, and blogging has become so valuable to me. By allowing others to view my life through my photography, and even my writing, it allows me to open the door, but at their leisure, comfort, and even how much they want to know, or see… by their own choosing. Often, the way people find they are comfortable with me is by working with me, allowing the interactions of a stressful day, but also allowing the playfulness, and often unguarded moments slip when we are focused more on our job, than on our own fears. Most people I have ever called a good friend I met through work. I have a few valued friends I have met though by being their neighbor, or even in a roommate situation. I have a few rare ones that I have met online, through mostly photography, and common interests. I have even fewer that have become friends solely on chance meetings, and interactions having nothing to do with work, home, or anything online… but those are a cherished few! Kara is one of those. (I could list others, but this writing is about Kara, and the G-string)

Kara was different. Kara let herself into my world, not by curiously seeking my photos, or even my blogging. In fact, she seldom saw any of my stuff online. She chose to get to know me through five-minute interactions, one day at a time. Each day I would come to get my pretzel, she would not just greet me as another customer. She would look into my eyes, ask questions, listen with her heart and her soul. Of course, I absolutely love getting to know a person’s mind, and hers was one I felt welcome to pick! We each allowed ourselves to be free, comfortable, and open. Most days we only interacted about five, maybe ten minutes at a time. Some days, more. But our friendship, and getting to know one another was based solely on what I call “The five-minute Quickie!” hehe…

The “Five-Minute Quickie” is that interaction you get from a person who happens to work at a place where you are a customer. You have usually less than five-minutes each time you visit that place to interact with the employee, and likewise, that employee has less than five minutes to interact with the customer. If that employee is good and passionate about customer service, not just about getting each customer served, there can be an incredible amount of satisfaction on both sides. If both the employee, and the customer find ways to make that short interaction both pleasant, and intellectually stimulating, it can be extremely satisfying. It becomes something that as a regular, both the employee, and the customer look forward to daily. These interactions are what I often refer to as a “Quickie”… or more specifically, The Five-Minute-Quickie. There is something wonderful about knowing you will always get that smile, that caring interaction, and that oh-so-brief-lift in your day. Every place I have lived, I have found at least one spot that fill this niche. Sometimes, it is a coffee place. Sometimes it is a hot dog, or burger place. Sometimes, it is a bus driver, or other service worker you see daily. Once I have found a satisfying “Quickie” I am usually Very Loyal, and even refer my friends to the same person. I “jokingly” also refer to whoever is that quickie provider as (depending on their gender) either a “Girlfriend” or “Boyfriend”…. But not in any sort of romantic, sexually, committed relationship sort of way. For example: She’s my Coffee Girlfriend. Or He’s My Hot Dog Boyfriend. These are the people who I find a “Five Minute Quickie” with on a regular basis. They of course are completely harmless, completely non-sexual, and if anything just a quick flirtation. And, No, it does not matter, Male or Female, because it is not anything to do with sex. Yup, I am secure enough to say I have a "Hot Dog Boyfriend!" Grin!

In Kara’s case, I called her “My Downtown Girlfriend”… and told people She was My Downtown Quickie. Those who get to know me totally understand the humor, and what that means, knowing it is non-sexual, or even no more than simply that interaction. But Kara managed to make it more than simply a five-minute quickie, and more than just a “downtown Girlfriend”. Nothing about me had scared her or even made her keep a distance. She also valued who I am, and included me in more than just that kiosk interaction. We found we have similar backgrounds, and could connect on many of life’s happenings. Sometimes, our own schedules made it so we did not see one another for more than a week. Sometimes, by chance, we would happen to momentarily meet at a bus stop, as we each were catching separate busses. Many times, we knew that even a brief “Hi” was something to cherish. Often, we could only interact for brief moments. We each had only begun to disclose some of the details that we both wanted to know more about with the other.
One day, I happened to catch the same bus she had just gotten on. She was heading home, and asked if I wanted to come meet her dog. Of Course I did! This was huge in the trust, friendship, and letting down of barriers that we as humans tend to place in our way. She was happy to show me where she lived (even tho’ she’d already told me, showing me was different.) She had no worries about letting me into her home, and meeting her dog.

Many times, she invited me to come swimming, and most times, our schedules just did not work. Often, we planned to have lunch, and that too seemed to never happen.

She knew I was a nudist, and even though she wanting absolutely never to see me naked, she still accepted me. (And I accepted her, knowing that I could never truly let myself be free around her.) We literally talked about every subject you could imagine, even the things about the human body associated with nakedness. We talked about embarrassments, modesty, acceptance, our own dislikes about our own bodies, and the way others saw us. We talked about what we hid from others, how we made sure to never let our barriers down, how cautious we were about so many of life’s things that had caused us pain, embarrassment, or humiliation. We talked about everything, openly.

One day, the swim-day finally happened. (yes, in a public pool with swimsuits… no skinny dippin’!)To me, it was a huge event. Going swimming, to me, is one of The Most Vulnerable activities I could ever do. To me, it creates vulnerabilities, and opportunity for criticism, mean comments. For some reason, more harm has come to my heart by swimming than any other activity. While swimming is one of My all time favorite things to do, it is also one of my most feared! Some of the greatest memories in life come from swimming, or activities directly connected. But also, some of my greatest setbacks also have come from swimming. Some of the biggest walls I have ever put around my heart, soul, and body come from swimming. Agreeing to go swimming would place both of us in an extremely vulnerable place. We both have such deep issues regarding our bodies. Often, before I have ever been swimming with anyone, they have seen me in various states of undress, often even naked. Often before swimming, usually that person and I have had other items we had spent casual time doing. Often I had seen the other in various stages of dress, or undress, too. It is funny how I could be naked and not feel as vulnerable as I do in a swimsuit. But this day was fully a swimsuit day… In fact it was not just a swimsuit, but also a pair of athletic shorts underneath to be sure I allowed no visibilities of any details of what was below the swim trunks. I am not like most men, in that I wear traditional swim trunks… ya know the ones with only a three or four inch inseam, instead of those baggy pants that come down below the knees. This too would allow an opportunity for mocking, criticism, and other potential harmful comments. I was scared to death!! But I still went… and even tho’ I was scared, I knew she was safe. I Knew (and Hoped!)

The day of the swimming, we did not go to the pool as soon as I got there. Instead, we talked for hours about some of our more in-depth pasts. We talked, let ourselves be free, and trusted. She asked me more about my love of being naked, knowing I had such insecurities about my own body. She had still never seen any pictures of me, nor seen my body in any revealing way, so it was still going to be hard for me to allow her to see me in a swimsuit. While we were talking, her friend Sarah showed up unexpectedly. She seemed nervous with what was happening in her own life to have me suddenly there… so to relax her, I invited her to swim with us. Sarah did not have anything to wear, so I joked about “we should just go naked”. Sarah laughed at this, but Kara was not about to entertain that thought! (and it was a public pool, so it likely would be frowned upon). She found a pair of shorts, and a bra (which was too big for Sarah, but would keep her from being seemingly naked… although as soon as she was in the water, it only enhanced how it did not cover… but we all were comfortable with this, and it helped me to forget my own vulnerabilities. Sarah was not shy, nor worried about what showed, using the bra and shorts as only visual covers, not truly hiding anything. I had arrived at Kara’s already wearing my swim trunks, plus my shorts under for full-hiding-cover. This eliminated the dreaded getting undressed, and into my swimsuit there.

We went swimming. We relaxed. None of us worried, or made the other feel vulnerable, or uncomfortable. It was absolutely safe, comfortable, and fun! Not once was anything said about my body, nor even once was it stared-at like it was the weirdest thing they’d ever seen! I think this was the very first time in my life this had happened! Kara did not realize that day how much she did for me. It was a huge thing for me!! She accepted me, and did not once use my body against me in any way! I had already known Kara was safe, and I hoped I could trust her. That day, she showed me more trust than I ever could have imagined! That to me is The Most valuable thing ever!!

Another swim day never came up, as our schedules just never matched. Also, the kiosk she worked at changed ownership, and The Pretzels were no longer sold there. She still worked there, so of course I would go and visit regularly. We continued to talk more about life, and anything that came up. We were both safe, comfortable, and trusted the other. This was friendship!.... Ahhh.

We discussed more about my naked lifestyle, and also how she never would want to see me naked. I understood this, and would never try and force anyone to see naked if they do not want to. It is a huge part of who I am, but also a part of this world that most do not welcome. Kara is not alone in this area. I am used to having to enjoy my naked activities without those I call my closest friends. Sure, it saddens me, but at the same time, I value that I even have friends to share parts of my life with. I would not be so selfish to only accept another human in my world Only if I could be naked near them.  I have found some who do welcome naked, even find they themselves can enjoy being naked, when they had thought previously they could not. I cherish each person for who they are, and allow them to fit into my world wherever it is they fit… comfortably.

Last Thanksgiving, Kara invited me to join her. I accepted. This is also huge, because as a general rule, I Never go to anyone’s home for Thanksgiving, and also seldom, if ever eat turkey. But I accepted her invite, and actually was looking forward to the turkey, too! During this Thanksgiving, I pulled some of my previous blogs up for her to read. She had not read any of these before, So this too was a new look into my world… a  view she had only glimpsed through our talks. One of the blogs I briefly showed her was about Naked Snow Angels… and without forcing nudity on her, showed her one photo of my naked backside, wearing Fairy-wings, in the snow. She absolutely loved this, and told me how The Butt is totally acceptable naked, it was just the front she wished to not see. I also could understand this! I loved that she was comfortable with the butt, and found it to be harmless. I showed her a few more of my naked backside, and saw from watching her that she actually enjoyed this, and was not in any way threatened, uncomfortable, or even just “tolerating” it. So, it seemed we established that as long as she only saw my butt, not my penis, it would be acceptable.

In December, I moved into an apartment in Downtown Vegas, instead of where I had been living way out in the ghetto. I was now centrally located, and my home was convenient in Kara’s daily comings and goings. She would now stop in for a chat, or just to say hi. Each time, making sure to tell me before she came to be sure I had clothes on.

Several months later in February, I took both Her and Sarah shopping at thrift stores. At first Kara n Sarah were not sure about shopping with a guy for clothes, so I just let them peruse the women’s clothes, while I went through the rest of the store. In the Men’s corner, somehow, I happened to spot a Funny Christmas G-string. For some reason, I actually picked it up, looked at it with a humorous grin, and noticed it was close to my size. Why on Earth I even ever looked at it, or picked it up, I could not tell ya! All my life, I have viewed G-strings, in any fashion as purely sexual, purely for the “Look at me”, “Look, I am drawing attention to my penis”, or “Look at this package”. Sure, I have seen some funny ones over the years, and even appreciated those I have seen wearing them… but that was for them, not for me. For me, it screamed “sexual” or “attention to the penis” when all my life, that was the last thing I ever wanted, or desired. I had come to the conclusion that there was no way, and no reason I EVER would wear one. Period.

I ventured back to where Sarah n Kara were shopping. They noticed I was truly aware of women’s clothes, and even was admiring various items, talking to them about what would fit, and what would not. I have always enjoyed shopping with women, and find it quite a good way to connect. Somehow in discussions of various items we looked at, the topic of covering, or revealing came up. Sarah joking asked if I’d wear something she held up, and even some of the other ladies in the area got into the fun with me, too. Then I told them about the G-String I had seen, thinking every one of them would laugh, but not one would find it acceptable to even mention, or to possibly entertain the idea of actually wearing it. Kara was the first to show excitement about it.

I was a bit surprised! Kara actually seemed enthusiastic about the idea of me wearing a Christmas G-string! And the others all chimed-in, too!! I was kinda baffled, and even thought they were mocking me. But It was genuine enough that I asked further. Kara did not look one-bit embarrassed, but very happy to explain that it would make it comical, and fun, instead of in any way sexual. She even expressed how it would “Cover your thingy”. Which made me smile. (she would not say the word “penis” ever). She explained how if she came over to my place, I could wear that and for me, it would be “like naked” but for her it would make it comfortable. I was interested, and curious about this thought-process. She got my attention, since I had never looked at it that way. The idea that it could be purely fun, not in any way drawing attention to “my thingy” was a whole new concept for me! I asked some more, and even ALL the ladie (some old, some young) agreed with Kara.

Still not so sure, I decided the only way to convince them this was not gonna be good was to go back and get it, bringing it to them for them to see it themselves. I was positive that just seeing it in my hands, they would insist they were wrong, and wanted me to put it back quickly. Well, to my surprise, and even a little bit of embarrassment, they had the opposite reaction! They wanted me to try it on right there and show them! I was not about to do THAT!... But I had seen a different view on this than I ever had before. I DID Hold it up in front of me, and watched their reactions. They all agreed they liked it, and I should buy it… after all, even if I NEVER wore it, it would be worth the dollar just to have bought it. So I did.
Yup... I am Actually Wearing a Christmas G-string!


I took it home that day, thinking I really never would wear it… Although I did put it on, and take pictures, just for grins and giggles. Then I tucked it away, thinking I might tease Kara about wearing it sometime, but likely never would. Just the fact that she had convinced me to buy it, and I even put it on, AND Took pictures… That was a huge step! Kara was someone I trusted, and I valued that she got me to look at it differently.

Many months went by, and I never got the opportunity to wear it. Each time she happened to stop by, I was usually on my way out to work, and was already dressed… Or I had just happened to have been outside, and already had clothes on. So it seemed that while we both joked about it, I likely would never really wear it for her. But it still made us both smile at the thought of it. Simply the thought that we had both agreed to this was huge!




Then in May, She was coming by, and texted me to let me know she was on her way. I was in the shower at the time, so I saw my opportunity to surprise her with the g-string. I had barely gotten out of the shower as she arrived. My front door was already open, with just a curtain across the opening. I was still mostly wet, and as she came to my door, I put the g-string on. She said “Knock Knock”. I told her through the curtain, I had just barely gotten outta the shower. She hesitantly said, “so you are still naked…” I pulled the curtain back, knowing she expected to see me naked, and watched as she realized I was not naked, but was wearing her g-sting. The look of pure delight, surprise, relief, and absolute joy was perfect! She smiled hugely, and hugged me.  As she hugged me, I wondered how she felt about hugging  me while mostly naked. She did not seem to feel like it was in any way uncomfortable, or weird. Then had me step back so she could look. She was grinning so big! I was totally nervous, mortified, scared, and not sure what to expect. The smile on her face made me relax. She asked if she could take pictures. I told her “Of Course!” I knew I had come a long ways, and if I was willing to allow pictures, AND for her to examine me more while wearing this, she was Absolutely safe, comfortable, and one of my most trusted friends! Plus I valued her opinion, and was happy to allow her to have this “thrill”. I had to admit, while it was scary, it also was a thrill to me, too! Not a thrill in any sort of sexual way, but a thrill in a “new-found freedom, new-found acceptance, and new-way to view something I had previously been closed-minded about. Of course I was nervous! But when she showed how comfortable it was for her, I knew it had its purpose. I guarantee if I had been naked, she would not have been even able to hug me, or look at me, and would have been totally flustered.
Kara's Picture of Me in Christmas G-String
Kara's View, and The Picture she took!
This is How I Greeted Kara!
How I greeted Kara... and The Picture she took!

I am sure even just greeting her in underwear would not have been so good. Besides, I am more unique than just to greet someone in underwear... For it to be me, It's gotta be different! Also, This G-string was perfect because of how she helped me to decide to buy it, especially for her comfort, And because of the silliness of it being a Christmas G-string (complete with Bells!).

Then later in May, I went to one of my favorite places to escape, and took this G-string with me to The Wetlands. No, Kara would not have been there, but I had another fun idea. For a while, I have entertained the idea of wearing some funky-silly outfit out hiking, simply for the fun photos I could create. I am always looking for fun ideas for my photos (often they just happen, and not much planning is needed). Many times, the places I end up taking naked pictures of myself, or the funny props I manage to place in front of my naked body make the scene so much more fun. So this Christmas G-string idea, out hiking in the desert, or in a waterfall, or some other idea just made me laugh. I knew if I took a picture of me wearing this out in nature, and sent it to her, it would make her smile.... Here, You Decide:

Yes, there IS a Great Story behind this!

Just a couple weeks ago, I had done the same thing, and while I was not sure I would stop and see her after leaving the wetlands, I took it with me, just for fun. Late that night, I stopped by her home on my way back into town. She was home, and happy to have me stop by. We had already planned to go shopping the next day. It was late, and we were both exhausted, so she asked if I wanted to sleep on her couch, saving me a trip home and back, plus we could have a chance to talk. I agreed.

She offered to wash the sweaty clothes I had worn hiking. This left me with just two items I could wear: my G-string, and a pair of Spandex fun short-shorts. I stripped, and got in the shower.

After my shower, I put on the short shorts. She did not mind these either. She was truly comfortable, safe, and I could trust her. She knows how much I love naked, so She told me I was more than welcome to be naked, sleep naked, and relax naked  after she went to bed in her room, and since she would not likely be awake before me, it would not bother her. I did end up naked, although I had not really planned to be (somehow, I lost my shorts in the couch during the night, and when I woke, briefly on the floor, I had no idea where they were. I was under a blanket, so just remained naked, and went back to sleep.) She did wake in the morning before I did, and took her dog out. I woke briefly when she came through the living room, and told her I was naked, and lost my shorts. She laughed, and was not freaked out by this. This also was huge! She was comfortable with me being naked in her home… just not showing her. She told me she was going back to sleep, left the dog with me, but also left her door open this time. She, too was comfortable sleeping with me there, knowing I was naked.  I slept a bit more, then got up, made coffee, looked through the photos I’d taken the day before, and relaxed. I even got some writing done. I did all this naked while she slept. And it felt comfortable, not like I was sneaking, or getting away with anything. Then I went to shower. She still had not waken, but I was not worried, she needed her rest. After my shower, I put on the Christmas G-string, and relaxed some more, still out in the living room.

Around three, I decided it was time to wake her so we could get going for shopping, and I could get home before late. I went in to wake her wearing the G-string. She smiled. She really enjoyed that I could wear this around her. Her words were “It’s so fun, and Like you are naked, but not!” Then as she walked down the hall behind me, she laughed as she looked at my butt in my G-string. It was a good laugh, not a mean laugh. She really enjoyed what this did for each of us. I stayed in my G-string until the laundry was finished, and we dressed to leave. The whole time I was wearing my G-string, she did not once look uncomfortable, or like it was weird. She actually seemed to not have a care in the world about it…other than the times it made her grin a bit. I gotta admit, I am QUITE Surprised how much a G-string can make for a comfortable situation, and how helpful it really can be!

Perhaps you are of the belief (like I Was) that a G-string has to be sexual. Perhaps you could find a friend that will help you get out of your comfort zone, help you to seek new ventures, new discoveries, and a new way to look at something you thought you never could, or would! I have found some incredible joy in discovering new ways to approach things that might otherwise have created a problem. Even at 45 years of age, I am open to admitting I may need to change some of my views. I am thankful for a friend like Kara that will help me to explore, understand, and accept a new way of looking at things! Who knows what I might find comfort, acceptance, and trust in as I grow, learn , explore, and welcome new things to help those of us who occupy this world we live in. I Hope you have a Wonderful Day! 

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