My Unique Resume'

                           My Resume'

Often, after I am hired, the hiring manager tells me what stood out about my application. It is usually my resume'.

I do not claim in any way to be an expert, or for that matter even have a clue about writing a resume'.

What I do claim to know is Who I am, and What I can offer my next employer. I have never truly understood the purpose of a resume, and to this day am baffled that this is the key piece of paper most hiring managers look at before arranging an interview. Knowing I have a one-in-a-thousand chance of having my resume' actually get the attention of a hiring manager, I know I need to do something that stands out. 

I have heard all my life about the supposed format(s) that are acceptable, and what you are supposed to make your resume' look like. Those do not fit me. I have found my own unique style is what works for me. Admittedly, I am aware that many will not even look at this because it is not fitting their standard, brainwashed notion of what they are supposed to look for when choosing applicants. 

Also, I am aware, that if my resume' is not what they like, then I will not want to work for that company. Simple as that. I do what works for me, and this is what gets me the jobs I have had.

I do not suggest this is what anybody else should do, but I do suggest others try to create a resume' that matches their personality. 

Be Bold. Be Fun. Be Creative. Be Positive. Take a chance.

Below is an exact replica of my most recent resume' 

(I have blocked-out the phone number and email, simply because I don't want all that totally public on this blog)

Each time I have needed a new resume, Of course it is a bit different, depending upon what my goal at that time is. But typically, this is the format, style, and creative approach that works for me.

Everything below this line is exactly what my latest one looked like:

*************************************************

You Are Looking for a Hard-Working, Friendly, Dependable, Self-Motivated, Thorough, Fun, and Reliable Person.

My Name is Jon, and I am the Employee You Are Looking For!

Jon A Miller

 (702) 600-17**     e-mail: halfaniceday@hotmail.com

What You Need To know:

            I am Self-motivated, friendly, hard-working, detail-oriented, thorough, reliable, fun, and dependable. There is not a job I cannot do. I come to you ready to put to use a lifetime of skills and work-ethic to get the job done to your satisfaction. If there is a job I do not know, I will quickly learn it. I take work seriously, yet know how to be fun, positive, and enthusiastic.

                      I have sought and learned new skills in each and every opportunity that arises. Each day, and each new experience is an opportunity to learn and grow. 

I am currently seeking employment in a business that thrives on liveliness, culture, community enrichment, and positive love of happiness.

I have worked and volunteered since I was a child, and have more experience than can be listed on a simple resume’. I thrive on customer service, making people happy, and helping others to find what they need for success. If there is an experience, or job I have not done, I am willing to tackle it. While the following list of recent employment is in no way able to paint a picture of my full abilities, it is the most-recent picture I can give you.

          I have a wide-variety of skills in Customer Service, Food-Service, Retail, Construction, Manufacturing, Performing-Arts, Warehousing, Delivery, and much more.  

Recent Work Experience:

Stratosphere Hotel and Casino: Las Vegas, NV. (March 2011, to July 2013)

Hired as Part-time Food and Beverage Cashier, Promoted to Full-time Cook

Responsibilities included proper food handling, prep and cooking of all food to be served for the day, assisting customers at counter, and making sure each customer was satisfied in a timely manner. Accuracy, speed, customer-service, integrity, timing, and attention-to many details all at the same time is a must.

*Stash Tea Company: Tigard, Or. (Nov. ’08 to Jan. ’11)

Hired as a temp-packager in production, Promoted to Warehouse Shipper.
Job included packaging and shipping tea product according to customer specific needs. Duties involved fast, detail work with exacting standards, and various packaging machinery. This job included all aspects and equipment of warehousing, and shipping detail. Speed and accuracy in filling large orders, properly boxing for safe delivery, using the proper shipping method, and coordinating orders through the sales department to assure customers received product in a timely manner.

*International Paper (Weyerhaueser) Bag Plant: Beaverton, Or. (Jan. ’08 to Oct. ’08)

Hired as a Baler, Promoted to Bag-making Machine Operator/Tender.
As a Baler, Job details involved off-stacking finished bales of paper bags onto pallets, according to customer specified stacking patterns. This involved working swiftly to keep all operating machines clear of finished bales to prevent back-ups, picking up trash, sweeping and keeping a tidy work place.
Machine Operator/Tender duties included knowledge, safety, and understanding of all aspects of bag-making machinery. The job included maneuvering, loading and threading large rolls of paper into machines, applying ink, glue, and proper tuning of equipment to manufacture a perfect finished product to meet customer needs, and company production standards.

I appreciate your time, and look forward to working with you very soon! Thank you, Jon A Miller.

I Found Gramma in a Box of Triscuits?

I Found Gramma in a Box of Triscuits!!

Today, I bought a box of Triscuits…. And Found Gramma!

I Know that sounds really weird… 

And I can’t deny it. Yup, it’s weird.

Would it be even weirder if I told you my Gramma has been dead for a very long time?

Ok, SO it Really is not THAT Creepy. It actually is quite happy!

I’ll Explain… well, TRY To Explain anyhow!

So, it seems daily I find another food I cannot eat due to my allergies. Often the foods I have eaten my whole life suddenly are off-limits, and I am constantly forced to give up the most basic of life’s little guilty pleasures.

Cheez-its are one of my all-time favorite snack crackers. I have eaten them my whole life. Then they came out with all those wonderful flavors of sooo many delightful kinds of cheeses in their crackers. Oooh, I was in heaven! Anyone who knows me would not doubt I LOVE Cheese! And then to have my favorite cracker have a dozen new flavors… Oh, it was wonderful! WAS. Imagine suddenly not ever being able to eat a Cheezit again. This happened to me this spring. After consuming a portion of Cheezits (I don’t recall which flavor, but it does not matter), I got that all-too-familiar feeling that I ate something I should not have. The only thing I had eaten was the Cheezits, so I looked at the ingredients. Yup, has Palm Oil. Grumble, Growl, Snort! Look again in disbelief… Yup, There it is.

Palm Oil is one of many items I am allergic to. In recent years, many food manufacturers have switched to using Palm (or Coconut) Oil, instead of the Sunflower or Soybean Oils. I am told the reason for this is purely cost-motivated. Palm and Coconut oils are cheap, so the companies can make more profit. So even products I have always been safe in eating suddenly become poison to me. This was the case with my beloved Cheezits. (and before anyone starts suggesting I look in the “Natural”, or “health food” Stores… Think about that for a second… Those stores Use MORE Coconut Products than others do! Those stores are like ticking product-bombs just waiting to jump out and poison me!

I was in disbelief as I read the label, because I knew… I ABSOLUTELY KNEW There was no Palm Oil in my beloved Cheezits. But there it was… and even without reading the label, I could FEEL it poisoning my blood and brain. But regardless, it was there in nice, clear print. So I naturally did what anyone would do… I grabbed a different box of Cheezits from the cupboard (I normally had no less than 6-boxes on hand at all times.) And I found exactly what I knew I would: That box had NO Palm Oil. But several of the others did. It was clear… they were in the process of changing their ingredients, and I had one box that was older than the rest.

Never mind the way the allergic reaction was making me feel, react, and behave. I was (trying to be)more focused on the thought of “Might I find a store that still has pallets of the Old Cheezits?” Hmm… How can I find All the old ones, and possibly buy ‘em all up, so I can keep enjoying Cheezits forever? But of course that would not work on my budget. In fact, I had already spent my snack budget… and it was quickly dawning on me that I had a cupboard full of snacks that I could not eat…  and even more depressing, I was realizing that I likely would never find any Cheezits on the store shelves that still were the old recipe. I looked through some of the other snack I had in the cupboard, and found similar scenarios. For example, The box of “Scooby Snacks” I had just bought had Palm Oil in it, but the one I had bought two weeks prior did not.

Wait, You think you just read something about Scooby Snacks? Yes, You read that right. “Scooby Snacks”… here, look….

….Yup! They are shaped like dog-biscuits, but are delicious and deceptively tasty as human snacks! A hint of cinnamon in a Graham Cracker. Fun to just put in a bowl, without the package and see if people will eat a dog-snack!

But I was sad, because the more snacks I looked at, the more I found Palm Oil. This was hard, because in the past three years, I have had the same story with Ice Cream. So, now I was not able to enjoy my beloved ice cream, it seemed also, my beloved snacks were to be off limits, too! (and Muffins, too!)

I bagged up all the snacks in my home that Now had Palm Oil and donated them to a worthy home. It was sad to have to say goodbye, but they went to a home that could love them… and where I would not be tormented by them in my sight.

The next time I went to the store, I spent at least an hour in the cracker aisle, looking for any crackers that did not have palm oil. I found some, but of course they were not varieties I liked, or worse, they were the Extremely expensive brands… The ones where you feel you should at least be wearing something fancy if you are going to consume them. Ugh. Here I go again… something I never had to give any thought to, now will poison me if I am not careful.

The hardest part is the few without palm oil are the ones I can’t enjoy. So, my snack cupboard remains an empty space… very symbolic.

Every now and then, I find a random cracker brand, or flavor that looks promising, and I buy it. Each time, I am disappointed. There was a reason I chose Cheezits as my favorite for my whole life… and none others will fill that void.

Today, I was pleasantly surprised to find a new Triscuit Cracker. It was called Triscuit Thins, and Was Cheese Flavored, too! I had not had a Triscuit in so many years I cannot recall when it was I last had one.  I have never disliked Triscuits, just never got excited about them. Also the fact that they are in the higher-priced range of crackers, plus you get a teeny-tiny box for that high price, I have not ever gone to buy them. But today, with the discovery of This one with Cheese… And No Palm Oil, I bought the box!

I’ll bet you are still wondering how any of this connects to my dead Gramma, right? I’m getting’ to that! Be patient… hehe.

When I got home from the store, as usual, I like to snack while putting the groceries away. And Often, I will choose to snack on The new item I have brought home, excited to try this new discovery. So, I opened the box of Triscuits. As soon as I opened the box, the long-ago-familiar smell of those Triscuit Crackers hit me. I did not at first connect what I smelled with what my mind was remembering… Until I took that first bite. Oh MY GOD! It’s Gramma! I tasted Gramma!!! I smelled Gramma, and Tasted Gramma!! I was suddenly a kid again in Gramma’s kitchen snacking on Triscuits with her! Now don’t get all weird and think the cracker tasted like Gramma’s flesh, or anything like that. It was at THAT Moment I recalled the last time I had eaten Triscuit Crackers! Triscuits were Gramma’s cracker, like Cheezits were mine.

I Found Gramma in A Box of Triscuits!! My Gramma died long ago, and I have never felt this feeling of “Her” since even many years before she died. I am not even sure when she died, or if she was buried, or cremated… or even where the remains in whatever form were placed. (Not to sound insensitive, but I had said goodbye to Gramma many years before she actually died, and whatever, or wherever I was in my life at the time of her actual death did not make an impact on me in the sense that I needed to mark it on a calendar.) Actually, I bet that last bit makes you think I am really insensitive, huh? I guess you’ll just hafta sit and chat with me about death sometime to fully understand my views, huh? Insensitive, no… different about many of the things we experience, yes.  Her death definitely impacted me… Often in more deep-ways than you might first imagine. I have interesting ways of dealing with death, loss, suffering, and how it affects my life, and how I move forward.

Enough about her death.

Tonight, I found Gramma in a Box of Triscuits!! This was enough of an impact that I immediately turned on the computer and started writing about this. (well, as soon as I put away the groceries, anyhow) I had a huge list of things I wanted to accomplish tonight, since it was the end of my weekend, and this coming week will prove to be more hectic than many of the past have. Also, this week will mark the end of one chapter in my life, and the beginning(s) of many new chapters. The last thing I intended to do was write a blog… until I Found Gramma In a Box of Triscuits.

This Gramma I mention is the one I have written about at least in a dozen different blogs. She was My Mom’s Mom. Technically, she was a “Grandma”, but we called her Gramma. As a kid, I cherished every moment I ever got to spend with her, and I never felt like I did not belong, or that somehow she just tolerated me. She was always a mix of The Country-Club Queen, and The Get-Dirty in the Garden Gal. She was the perfect blend between high-society-social parties, and talking silly using pig-latin at the dinner table kind of lady.  She went easily from pearls and heels, to nudist in the mud. She could set-up The Perfect Formal Dinner in her dining room, and an hour later, transform that same room into a fort made of couch-cushions, sheets, and pillows for us to have sleep-overs in. She was the one who everyone felt safe and comfortable naked around, yet she would be the first to point out the funny lines left by a chair on your butt. How, you might ask do Triscuits fit into all of this? Simple: Triscuits were Gramma’s Cracker. No matter the level of class, or how down n dirty she got, Triscuits were the cracker she had for all to enjoy. She always served cheese with the Triscuits, too. So this box of Cheese-Triscuits I opened and ate tonight, unleashed a flood of memories that I had not felt since at least 33 years ago!!

The last time I remember feeling this was when I was 12. Tonight when I stood in the kitchen eating my Triscuits, I found Gramma in That Box. So, No matter how, or where her remains were placed when she died so long ago, I found where they went… They somehow went to The Nabisco Plant, and found This Box of Triscuits, to come and visit Me! I never imagined I would feel that feeling ever again. Tonight, I was taken back to a world long lost. A world where everything was safe, a world where no matter what was happening, once you were at Gramma’s house, it would all be ok.

Triscuits… Who woulda thunkit? And to think… maybe I am allergic to all my favorites so I would find these Triscuits, and Feel Gramma once again… Everything happens for a reason… Gramma, Thank You for The Triscuits!...

… Now I think I will go built a sheet and couch-cushion fort to sleep in tonight.

Clothed In TRUST (or a Cast-Iron Skillet?):

Clothed in Trust:

What Does it take For You To Be Free?
When You Allow Yourself to Be Vulnerable...

The Very First Time I ever Wore a G-String...And Publicly, too!

This is a Story about the one time I dressed as Peter Pan, and I bet you are wondering how the subject of wearing a G-string could possibly relate to The Peter Pan Character...

and How it Connects to TRUST... It really does all connect:

Sometimes, I can be seen in an outfit, or fun item that will make ya wonder, even consider that I may in fact be a bit Crazy. I will not deny this. I would absolutely love to wear stuff that suits my personality All The Time! … But our world seems to dictate how much we can actually be unique based on their  own fears, not on the person who wants to be different. For those times when you see me wearing something so whacky that you wonder how I got the determination, or even the guts to do it… There is One thing that is a key factor: TRUST.

What I wear, depends a lot on whether or not I trust those I am around. The same goes for what I Don’t wear. For so much of my young life, I was happily a nudist. I learned early on who I could trust, and when it was safe to let my guard down, and be free. Even after the age of twelve, when I went into mostly hiding my nakedness, I found those I could trust, and would allow them to see me at my most vulnerable. It is not just about naked, that is just a good representation, and parallel to illustrate vulnerability.

Some of my most fun outfits, costumes, shenanigans, and freedoms to be uniquely me, and not worry one bit about what others will say, do, or how they might harm me have come Only when I am able to trust those I am around. When you see me dressed in completely “normal” clothing (well, as ‘normal’ as I will ever get!), that tells you something is missing in the trust department. This usually happens once I have been harmed, and have figured out that by being my unique self, it actually brings, invites, and encourages attacks. I occasionally will revert to only wearing simple clothes, a simple hat, and trying hard to make sure I do not in any way stand out. When you see me like this, you know something is not balanced in my world.

On the other end of that spectrum however, If you see me being silly, wearing items that make me completely stand-out, or absolutely not look like I wanna blend-in, then you know everything is perfect in that area. (or at least in the moment, very safe, very comfortable, and I can be free). This is how I am when you see me playing with my ducks, or other silly objects. When I am creating the fun photos y’all see, it is when I am in a safe place.

Writing yesterday about wearing my Christmas G-string, During the entire time I was writing, and even re-reading, after I published it, I had one feeling that came to mind: TRUST. When I’ve been free enough to wear that G-string for Kara, and even when I wore it in The Wetlands, and posted the pictures publicly, I KNEW I was in a place where I could Trust those around me. Trust is a huge factor in my word.

No matter how many insecurities I have, if I trust you, I likely will do almost anything with you. If I trust you, I just might surprise myself, with what I would do around you, for you, or even with you! Some of the most rewarding experiences of my life have come when I am with someone, or many who I trust. Often, I do not even realize how comfortable I have gotten with a person, until after an event, or time when I look back on it, and go: “WoW! That person has my trust!”

I was reminded of a time long ago when I wore a G-string… sorta…. It was in October of 2009. I was living in a house full of people, each having varying degrees of “alternate Living” Lifestyles. I use that term simply to not label any one type, or in any way point out what one’s own lifestyle was. We each fit into the category of “alternate” in different ways. One of the girls was having a birthday party, just before Halloween, and had decided to make it a costumed party. Not necessarily a Halloween costume, just a costume. It was deemed to be a “Very Free” lifestyle party, meaning nothing was really off-limits. The other “rule” was that you had to create a costume on “dollar-store” items… Meaning anything you wore needed to be VERY inexpensive, and could possibly be obtained at dollar stores. This allowed for creativity, and also encouraged the use of things you might not otherwise use… making the imagination play an important part.

All the people in this house, and that would attend this party were very safe to me, and I trusted them. They accepted me as a nudist. Heck, they accepted Me!

Now, I bet you are wondering where the “G-String” I mentioned earlier comes into play? Well, read on, and you will see!

So, mentioning this party idea to a coworker, and tossing about possible ideas, He suggested I go as a Disney Character… More Specifically, Peter Pan. Well, this got me thinking of the green tights, funny tunic, etc. My friend grinned, and then told me what he meant… Well, rather than explain it to you, how about I just show a picture….

Ok, So Now You Know It was Not The Peter Pan in green tights that could fly….

…but rather A Pan Over My Peter! (the robe was simply because this was Oregon, and It Was Cold!!)

And the “G-String”?... Well, that was how I held the pan in place! I gotta say, this was My Very First Time Ever wearing ANYTHING Like this!! I was mortified, but knew it would a fun night! The pan was of course Ice-cold, so I had to preheat it so it would not freeze parts. (I just soaked it in warm water before wearing it.) And to fasten it…. Well, the term G-String took on a whole new meaning this night!! G… for Groin. String… well, it was rope (or string)… so there ya have it! It was definitely not the most comfortable way to wear it! But it did the job… sorta. Initially I had attempted to just tie the rope around my waist, and thru the handle. But that left an awful lot of sway in the pan. (I don’t know if you’ve ever had a rogue cast-iron skillet flopping about near your parts, but that only leaves room for instant damage!!) not to mention inadvertent flashing of those who did not wish to see what was inside the pan! So, I needed to create a more-secure way to wear the pan. Thus the g-string. To say it was a wee-bit uncomfortable to have a rope up my butt is an understatement! (and If I ever do that again, I will use something a tad softer, maybe even a bit wider!) After a few attempts, I succeeded in creating an effective g-string.

The costume was a total success, and everyone absolutely loved it! Much to my chagrin, they seemed to like it a bit too much…. It was a good thing I trusted everyone there, because they were not shy about “inspecting” how I did it. That night, I had more people literally playing with that area than I’ve ever had in my life! Nobody did anything sexual, they simply were curious, and knowing I would allow their curiosities, they allowed themselves the freedom to explore. I likely would have done the same if they were the ones wearing it! Most people wanted to inspect the rope, and see how I managed to tie it, where it did, or did not go. Some wanted to see if there was anything worn under the pan, or if I had lined the pan with anything soft. Their concern was about chaffing, scraping, or other possible complications that could arise. (speaking of arise… Well, maybe I won’t tell about that…) many wanted to see “how many sausage and eggs fit in that pan” and even wanted to see how they fit. Everyone took plenty of pictures, from every angle, and some at very close-range. To say I was safe, and trusted them all was an understatement! That night, I was SOO safe, comfortable, and trusted all of them!

Just a Note about all the curiosities, and "exploring" of my regions: I treat others the way I would want to be treated. So many people are so guarded, and not willing to allow another's curiosites. So often, when a person is curious and not intending any harm, simply wanting to grow, learn, understand, gain knowlege, they are rebuked, scorned, and made to feel ashamed for even asking. I was fortunate to have found many in my early years who actually encouraged and welcomed these curiosities. I learned that if approached in a non-harmful, desire of learning way, most of the time, it is mutually rewarding for each person involved. (The curious one learns, and often so does the one being asked!) Sure, there were plenty that did not encourage this, but fortunately, there were many who Did encourage learning! So, when others approach me in this manner, as long as I trust them, I will allow the curiosities, touches, explorations, and it usually turns out that we both learn something from the experience! Often, sadly, our society seems to scorn, or look down upon these curiosites, learnings, understandings, so many times, we are forced to "Not Tell Anyone", which is truly sad. Any curiosities in this department are summarily categorized into "sexual" behavior, instead of simply learning about the human body.

Well, in the comfort department, I was not comfortable in the sense of how my costume fit, and especially when I tried to sit down while we played board games! I had not planned for how things would shift, and especially how the rope would dig-in!! Also along with the rope going tighter, the pan also did not remain where it was supposed to. Eventually, it got too awkward, parts were not remaining inside the pan, and it was just plain uncomfortable, and I was cold, so I went down to my room and took it all off. I put baby powder all over my region, and let is soothe me… Then I put something soft and warm on and went back upstairs.

Of all the photos taken by everyone that night, I never saw any of them. The only photo I have is one that was taken with my own camera (the one I posted above). I am sure somewhere in the great web, there are photos floating around of details of that costume… And again, it’s a good thing I trust those people, because otherwise I might have reason to worry… Grin!

So, as you go through life, may you find people you can trust, people who encourage you to be free, explore your desires, and find your Peter Pan! (Just be careful when you sit while wearing a Cast Iron Skillet, and a Rope G-string!)

A G-string, a Pretzel, and a 5-minute Quickie?

Do Pretzels and G-strings have anything in Common?

And How can a “Five-Minute-Quickie” be completely non-sexual?? Wait, what!??

Who would have thought that by simply buying a Giant Pretzel and having a daily “Five-Minute-Quickie” could lead to me buying a G-string… and More specifically, A Christmas G-string, Complete with bells!! Wait, What?!

Yep, Leave it to me to connect the subject of a Pretzel as an after-work snack with a Thrift-store-find of a Christmas G-String…. And the “Quickie”? And how on Earth could all this be anything but Sexual?? THAT IS THE BEST PART! It has Absolutely Nothing Sexual about any of it! You will just hafta read more to understand…

Sometimes, no matter how well we think we know our own self, there is occasionally something that happens to make us find out we really are not as set-in-stone as we think, or as firm on what we think we will, or will not do. Occasionally, even something you only saw as “sexual” can suddenly be the exact opposite. This is my story about allowing myself to buy, wear, and even share publicly A Christmas G-String (complete with bells!)

Have you ever met someone that manages to challenge you in so many wonderful ways? A person who somehow has the ability to allow you to open-up even more than you ever thought would happen? A person who somehow manages to get you talking openly about things you thought you’d long ago said all there was to say? A person who manages to even make you consider doing, or wearing something you would have previously thought you would absolutely NEVER do?

My friend Kara has done exactly that. Kara has become a trusted, valued friend. She has managed to show me how caring, safe, and comfortable someone can be. Kara has managed, without even trying, just by being her normal self, has helped me learn more, explore more, and embrace more of what, who, and why I am the way I am. (I bet that sentence muggled your brain, huh?)

Now, before anyone gets the idea that Kara is my girlfriend…. Nope! I am not interested in having, or finding a girlfriend. Nor, is she interested in finding or having a boyfriend. We each have plenty to take care of in our own lives, and are not interested in complicating life more with that sort of relationship. I know from life, that most people cannot fathom a man and a woman being friends, simply friends, with NO Sexual interactions, desires, or temptations. But those people have never really gotten to know who I am, or what I am all about. Simply put, I am Non-sexual. Period. I absolutely love the genuine friendship that can be had, and absolutely do not want anything more.

I met Kara well over a year ago, and at the very first time we met, we managed to find plenty to talk about. She was working at a Kiosk in Downtown Las Vegas. More specifically, she was working where I liked to stop daily for a snack after work. This Kiosk sold many items, and like so many places, it also offered those wonderful Giant Pretzels. There were easily a dozen places I could get a pretzel, but This Kiosk happened to feel the most comfortable, plus the employees were always friendly, liked to get to know their customers, and made each one feel important, welcome, and cared about. I could easily have gotten the same snack, or an equivalent anywhere, but I was always drawn back here. I had been going to this kiosk long before Kara began working there. I was a regular, and all I had to do was become visible, and the workers knew what I wanted, often placing my pretzel in the toasting machine before I even got to the counter. This same was true on Kara’s first day. I walked toward the kiosk, and the lady training Kara told her what I wanted before I even got there. Of course, Kara looked at me like “Why is He so Special?”, but not in a mean way, more of a curious way. The other lady introduced us, and We immediately found plenty to talk about. That day was the beginning of a friendship.

I do not often, easily let others into my world, or even feel comfortable being welcomed into their world. I often am a loner, or socially awkward enough that the social-necessities that often accompany getting to know someone, or even to be comfortable in allowing them to know details about who I am, are guarded. That is one reason photography, and blogging has become so valuable to me. By allowing others to view my life through my photography, and even my writing, it allows me to open the door, but at their leisure, comfort, and even how much they want to know, or see… by their own choosing. Often, the way people find they are comfortable with me is by working with me, allowing the interactions of a stressful day, but also allowing the playfulness, and often unguarded moments slip when we are focused more on our job, than on our own fears. Most people I have ever called a good friend I met through work. I have a few valued friends I have met though by being their neighbor, or even in a roommate situation. I have a few rare ones that I have met online, through mostly photography, and common interests. I have even fewer that have become friends solely on chance meetings, and interactions having nothing to do with work, home, or anything online… but those are a cherished few! Kara is one of those. (I could list others, but this writing is about Kara, and the G-string)

Kara was different. Kara let herself into my world, not by curiously seeking my photos, or even my blogging. In fact, she seldom saw any of my stuff online. She chose to get to know me through five-minute interactions, one day at a time. Each day I would come to get my pretzel, she would not just greet me as another customer. She would look into my eyes, ask questions, listen with her heart and her soul. Of course, I absolutely love getting to know a person’s mind, and hers was one I felt welcome to pick! We each allowed ourselves to be free, comfortable, and open. Most days we only interacted about five, maybe ten minutes at a time. Some days, more. But our friendship, and getting to know one another was based solely on what I call “The five-minute Quickie!” hehe…

The “Five-Minute Quickie” is that interaction you get from a person who happens to work at a place where you are a customer. You have usually less than five-minutes each time you visit that place to interact with the employee, and likewise, that employee has less than five minutes to interact with the customer. If that employee is good and passionate about customer service, not just about getting each customer served, there can be an incredible amount of satisfaction on both sides. If both the employee, and the customer find ways to make that short interaction both pleasant, and intellectually stimulating, it can be extremely satisfying. It becomes something that as a regular, both the employee, and the customer look forward to daily. These interactions are what I often refer to as a “Quickie”… or more specifically, The Five-Minute-Quickie. There is something wonderful about knowing you will always get that smile, that caring interaction, and that oh-so-brief-lift in your day. Every place I have lived, I have found at least one spot that fill this niche. Sometimes, it is a coffee place. Sometimes it is a hot dog, or burger place. Sometimes, it is a bus driver, or other service worker you see daily. Once I have found a satisfying “Quickie” I am usually Very Loyal, and even refer my friends to the same person. I “jokingly” also refer to whoever is that quickie provider as (depending on their gender) either a “Girlfriend” or “Boyfriend”…. But not in any sort of romantic, sexually, committed relationship sort of way. For example: She’s my Coffee Girlfriend. Or He’s My Hot Dog Boyfriend. These are the people who I find a “Five Minute Quickie” with on a regular basis. They of course are completely harmless, completely non-sexual, and if anything just a quick flirtation. And, No, it does not matter, Male or Female, because it is not anything to do with sex. Yup, I am secure enough to say I have a "Hot Dog Boyfriend!" Grin!

In Kara’s case, I called her “My Downtown Girlfriend”… and told people She was My Downtown Quickie. Those who get to know me totally understand the humor, and what that means, knowing it is non-sexual, or even no more than simply that interaction. But Kara managed to make it more than simply a five-minute quickie, and more than just a “downtown Girlfriend”. Nothing about me had scared her or even made her keep a distance. She also valued who I am, and included me in more than just that kiosk interaction. We found we have similar backgrounds, and could connect on many of life’s happenings. Sometimes, our own schedules made it so we did not see one another for more than a week. Sometimes, by chance, we would happen to momentarily meet at a bus stop, as we each were catching separate busses. Many times, we knew that even a brief “Hi” was something to cherish. Often, we could only interact for brief moments. We each had only begun to disclose some of the details that we both wanted to know more about with the other.

One day, I happened to catch the same bus she had just gotten on. She was heading home, and asked if I wanted to come meet her dog. Of Course I did! This was huge in the trust, friendship, and letting down of barriers that we as humans tend to place in our way. She was happy to show me where she lived (even tho’ she’d already told me, showing me was different.) She had no worries about letting me into her home, and meeting her dog.

Many times, she invited me to come swimming, and most times, our schedules just did not work. Often, we planned to have lunch, and that too seemed to never happen.

She knew I was a nudist, and even though she wanting absolutely never to see me naked, she still accepted me. (And I accepted her, knowing that I could never truly let myself be free around her.) We literally talked about every subject you could imagine, even the things about the human body associated with nakedness. We talked about embarrassments, modesty, acceptance, our own dislikes about our own bodies, and the way others saw us. We talked about what we hid from others, how we made sure to never let our barriers down, how cautious we were about so many of life’s things that had caused us pain, embarrassment, or humiliation. We talked about everything, openly.

One day, the swim-day finally happened. (yes, in a public pool with swimsuits… no skinny dippin’!)To me, it was a huge event. Going swimming, to me, is one of The Most Vulnerable activities I could ever do. To me, it creates vulnerabilities, and opportunity for criticism, mean comments. For some reason, more harm has come to my heart by swimming than any other activity. While swimming is one of My all time favorite things to do, it is also one of my most feared! Some of the greatest memories in life come from swimming, or activities directly connected. But also, some of my greatest setbacks also have come from swimming. Some of the biggest walls I have ever put around my heart, soul, and body come from swimming. Agreeing to go swimming would place both of us in an extremely vulnerable place. We both have such deep issues regarding our bodies. Often, before I have ever been swimming with anyone, they have seen me in various states of undress, often even naked. Often before swimming, usually that person and I have had other items we had spent casual time doing. Often I had seen the other in various stages of dress, or undress, too. It is funny how I could be naked and not feel as vulnerable as I do in a swimsuit. But this day was fully a swimsuit day… In fact it was not just a swimsuit, but also a pair of athletic shorts underneath to be sure I allowed no visibilities of any details of what was below the swim trunks. I am not like most men, in that I wear traditional swim trunks… ya know the ones with only a three or four inch inseam, instead of those baggy pants that come down below the knees. This too would allow an opportunity for mocking, criticism, and other potential harmful comments. I was scared to death!! But I still went… and even tho’ I was scared, I knew she was safe. I Knew (and Hoped!)

The day of the swimming, we did not go to the pool as soon as I got there. Instead, we talked for hours about some of our more in-depth pasts. We talked, let ourselves be free, and trusted. She asked me more about my love of being naked, knowing I had such insecurities about my own body. She had still never seen any pictures of me, nor seen my body in any revealing way, so it was still going to be hard for me to allow her to see me in a swimsuit. While we were talking, her friend Sarah showed up unexpectedly. She seemed nervous with what was happening in her own life to have me suddenly there… so to relax her, I invited her to swim with us. Sarah did not have anything to wear, so I joked about “we should just go naked”. Sarah laughed at this, but Kara was not about to entertain that thought! (and it was a public pool, so it likely would be frowned upon). She found a pair of shorts, and a bra (which was too big for Sarah, but would keep her from being seemingly naked… although as soon as she was in the water, it only enhanced how it did not cover… but we all were comfortable with this, and it helped me to forget my own vulnerabilities. Sarah was not shy, nor worried about what showed, using the bra and shorts as only visual covers, not truly hiding anything. I had arrived at Kara’s already wearing my swim trunks, plus my shorts under for full-hiding-cover. This eliminated the dreaded getting undressed, and into my swimsuit there.

We went swimming. We relaxed. None of us worried, or made the other feel vulnerable, or uncomfortable. It was absolutely safe, comfortable, and fun! Not once was anything said about my body, nor even once was it stared-at like it was the weirdest thing they’d ever seen! I think this was the very first time in my life this had happened! Kara did not realize that day how much she did for me. It was a huge thing for me!! She accepted me, and did not once use my body against me in any way! I had already known Kara was safe, and I hoped I could trust her. That day, she showed me more trust than I ever could have imagined! That to me is The Most valuable thing ever!!

Another swim day never came up, as our schedules just never matched. Also, the kiosk she worked at changed ownership, and The Pretzels were no longer sold there. She still worked there, so of course I would go and visit regularly. We continued to talk more about life, and anything that came up. We were both safe, comfortable, and trusted the other. This was friendship!.... Ahhh.

We discussed more about my naked lifestyle, and also how she never would want to see me naked. I understood this, and would never try and force anyone to see naked if they do not want to. It is a huge part of who I am, but also a part of this world that most do not welcome. Kara is not alone in this area. I am used to having to enjoy my naked activities without those I call my closest friends. Sure, it saddens me, but at the same time, I value that I even have friends to share parts of my life with. I would not be so selfish to only accept another human in my world Only if I could be naked near them.  I have found some who do welcome naked, even find they themselves can enjoy being naked, when they had thought previously they could not. I cherish each person for who they are, and allow them to fit into my world wherever it is they fit… comfortably.

Last Thanksgiving, Kara invited me to join her. I accepted. This is also huge, because as a general rule, I Never go to anyone’s home for Thanksgiving, and also seldom, if ever eat turkey. But I accepted her invite, and actually was looking forward to the turkey, too! During this Thanksgiving, I pulled some of my previous blogs up for her to read. She had not read any of these before, So this too was a new look into my world… a  view she had only glimpsed through our talks. One of the blogs I briefly showed her was about Naked Snow Angels… and without forcing nudity on her, showed her one photo of my naked backside, wearing Fairy-wings, in the snow. She absolutely loved this, and told me how The Butt is totally acceptable naked, it was just the front she wished to not see. I also could understand this! I loved that she was comfortable with the butt, and found it to be harmless. I showed her a few more of my naked backside, and saw from watching her that she actually enjoyed this, and was not in any way threatened, uncomfortable, or even just “tolerating” it. So, it seemed we established that as long as she only saw my butt, not my penis, it would be acceptable.

In December, I moved into an apartment in Downtown Vegas, instead of where I had been living way out in the ghetto. I was now centrally located, and my home was convenient in Kara’s daily comings and goings. She would now stop in for a chat, or just to say hi. Each time, making sure to tell me before she came to be sure I had clothes on.

Several months later in February, I took both Her and Sarah shopping at thrift stores. At first Kara n Sarah were not sure about shopping with a guy for clothes, so I just let them peruse the women’s clothes, while I went through the rest of the store. In the Men’s corner, somehow, I happened to spot a Funny Christmas G-string. For some reason, I actually picked it up, looked at it with a humorous grin, and noticed it was close to my size. Why on Earth I even ever looked at it, or picked it up, I could not tell ya! All my life, I have viewed G-strings, in any fashion as purely sexual, purely for the “Look at me”, “Look, I am drawing attention to my penis”, or “Look at this package”. Sure, I have seen some funny ones over the years, and even appreciated those I have seen wearing them… but that was for them, not for me. For me, it screamed “sexual” or “attention to the penis” when all my life, that was the last thing I ever wanted, or desired. I had come to the conclusion that there was no way, and no reason I EVER would wear one. Period.

I ventured back to where Sarah n Kara were shopping. They noticed I was truly aware of women’s clothes, and even was admiring various items, talking to them about what would fit, and what would not. I have always enjoyed shopping with women, and find it quite a good way to connect. Somehow in discussions of various items we looked at, the topic of covering, or revealing came up. Sarah joking asked if I’d wear something she held up, and even some of the other ladies in the area got into the fun with me, too. Then I told them about the G-String I had seen, thinking every one of them would laugh, but not one would find it acceptable to even mention, or to possibly entertain the idea of actually wearing it. Kara was the first to show excitement about it.

I was a bit surprised! Kara actually seemed enthusiastic about the idea of me wearing a Christmas G-string! And the others all chimed-in, too!! I was kinda baffled, and even thought they were mocking me. But It was genuine enough that I asked further. Kara did not look one-bit embarrassed, but very happy to explain that it would make it comical, and fun, instead of in any way sexual. She even expressed how it would “Cover your thingy”. Which made me smile. (she would not say the word “penis” ever). She explained how if she came over to my place, I could wear that and for me, it would be “like naked” but for her it would make it comfortable. I was interested, and curious about this thought-process. She got my attention, since I had never looked at it that way. The idea that it could be purely fun, not in any way drawing attention to “my thingy” was a whole new concept for me! I asked some more, and even ALL the ladie (some old, some young) agreed with Kara.

Still not so sure, I decided the only way to convince them this was not gonna be good was to go back and get it, bringing it to them for them to see it themselves. I was positive that just seeing it in my hands, they would insist they were wrong, and wanted me to put it back quickly. Well, to my surprise, and even a little bit of embarrassment, they had the opposite reaction! They wanted me to try it on right there and show them! I was not about to do THAT!... But I had seen a different view on this than I ever had before. I DID Hold it up in front of me, and watched their reactions. They all agreed they liked it, and I should buy it… after all, even if I NEVER wore it, it would be worth the dollar just to have bought it. So I did.

I took it home that day, thinking I really never would wear it… Although I did put it on, and take pictures, just for grins and giggles. Then I tucked it away, thinking I might tease Kara about wearing it sometime, but likely never would. Just the fact that she had convinced me to buy it, and I even put it on, AND Took pictures… That was a huge step! Kara was someone I trusted, and I valued that she got me to look at it differently.

Many months went by, and I never got the opportunity to wear it. Each time she happened to stop by, I was usually on my way out to work, and was already dressed… Or I had just happened to have been outside, and already had clothes on. So it seemed that while we both joked about it, I likely would never really wear it for her. But it still made us both smile at the thought of it. Simply the thought that we had both agreed to this was huge!

Then in May, She was coming by, and texted me to let me know she was on her way. I was in the shower at the time, so I saw my opportunity to surprise her with the g-string. I had barely gotten out of the shower as she arrived. My front door was already open, with just a curtain across the opening. I was still mostly wet, and as she came to my door, I put the g-string on. She said “Knock Knock”. I told her through the curtain, I had just barely gotten outta the shower. She hesitantly said, “so you are still naked…” I pulled the curtain back, knowing she expected to see me naked, and watched as she realized I was not naked, but was wearing her g-sting. The look of pure delight, surprise, relief, and absolute joy was perfect! She smiled hugely, and hugged me.  As she hugged me, I wondered how she felt about hugging  me while mostly naked. She did not seem to feel like it was in any way uncomfortable, or weird. Then had me step back so she could look. She was grinning so big! I was totally nervous, mortified, scared, and not sure what to expect. The smile on her face made me relax. She asked if she could take pictures. I told her “Of Course!” I knew I had come a long ways, and if I was willing to allow pictures, AND for her to examine me more while wearing this, she was Absolutely safe, comfortable, and one of my most trusted friends! Plus I valued her opinion, and was happy to allow her to have this “thrill”. I had to admit, while it was scary, it also was a thrill to me, too! Not a thrill in any sort of sexual way, but a thrill in a “new-found freedom, new-found acceptance, and new-way to view something I had previously been closed-minded about. Of course I was nervous! But when she showed how comfortable it was for her, I knew it had its purpose. I guarantee if I had been naked, she would not have been even able to hug me, or look at me, and would have been totally flustered.

Kara's View, and The Picture she took!

How I greeted Kara... and The Picture she took!

I am sure even just greeting her in underwear would not have been so good. Besides, I am more unique than just to greet someone in underwear... For it to be me, It's gotta be different! Also, This G-string was perfect because of how she helped me to decide to buy it, especially for her comfort, And because of the silliness of it being a Christmas G-string (complete with Bells!).

Then later in May, I went to one of my favorite places to escape, and took this G-string with me to The Wetlands. No, Kara would not have been there, but I had another fun idea. For a while, I have entertained the idea of wearing some funky-silly outfit out hiking, simply for the fun photos I could create. I am always looking for fun ideas for my photos (often they just happen, and not much planning is needed). Many times, the places I end up taking naked pictures of myself, or the funny props I manage to place in front of my naked body make the scene so much more fun. So this Christmas G-string idea, out hiking in the desert, or in a waterfall, or some other idea just made me laugh. I knew if I took a picture of me wearing this out in nature, and sent it to her, it would make her smile.... Here, You Decide:



Just a couple weeks ago, I had done the same thing, and while I was not sure I would stop and see her after leaving the wetlands, I took it with me, just for fun. Late that night, I stopped by her home on my way back into town. She was home, and happy to have me stop by. We had already planned to go shopping the next day. It was late, and we were both exhausted, so she asked if I wanted to sleep on her couch, saving me a trip home and back, plus we could have a chance to talk. I agreed.

She offered to wash the sweaty clothes I had worn hiking. This left me with just two items I could wear: my G-string, and a pair of Spandex fun short-shorts. I stripped, and got in the shower.

After my shower, I put on the short shorts. She did not mind these either. She was truly comfortable, safe, and I could trust her. She knows how much I love naked, so She told me I was more than welcome to be naked, sleep naked, and relax naked  after she went to bed in her room, and since she would not likely be awake before me, it would not bother her. I did end up naked, although I had not really planned to be (somehow, I lost my shorts in the couch during the night, and when I woke, briefly on the floor, I had no idea where they were. I was under a blanket, so just remained naked, and went back to sleep.) She did wake in the morning before I did, and took her dog out. I woke briefly when she came through the living room, and told her I was naked, and lost my shorts. She laughed, and was not freaked out by this. This also was huge! She was comfortable with me being naked in her home… just not showing her. She told me she was going back to sleep, left the dog with me, but also left her door open this time. She, too was comfortable sleeping with me there, knowing I was naked.  I slept a bit more, then got up, made coffee, looked through the photos I’d taken the day before, and relaxed. I even got some writing done. I did all this naked while she slept. And it felt comfortable, not like I was sneaking, or getting away with anything. Then I went to shower. She still had not waken, but I was not worried, she needed her rest. After my shower, I put on the Christmas G-string, and relaxed some more, still out in the living room.

Around three, I decided it was time to wake her so we could get going for shopping, and I could get home before late. I went in to wake her wearing the G-string. She smiled. She really enjoyed that I could wear this around her. Her words were “It’s so fun, and Like you are naked, but not!” Then as she walked down the hall behind me, she laughed as she looked at my butt in my G-string. It was a good laugh, not a mean laugh. She really enjoyed what this did for each of us. I stayed in my G-string until the laundry was finished, and we dressed to leave. The whole time I was wearing my G-string, she did not once look uncomfortable, or like it was weird. She actually seemed to not have a care in the world about it…other than the times it made her grin a bit. I gotta admit, I am QUITE Surprised how much a G-string can make for a comfortable situation, and how helpful it really can be!

Perhaps you are of the belief (like I Was) that a G-string has to be sexual. Perhaps you could find a friend that will help you get out of your comfort zone, help you to seek new ventures, new discoveries, and a new way to look at something you thought you never could, or would! I have found some incredible joy in discovering new ways to approach things that might otherwise have created a problem. Even at 45 years of age, I am open to admitting I may need to change some of my views. I am thankful for a friend like Kara that will help me to explore, understand, and accept a new way of looking at things! Who knows what I might find comfort, acceptance, and trust in as I grow, learn , explore, and welcome new things to help those of us who occupy this world we live in. I Hope you have a Wonderful Day! 

Today Is Memorial Day...

Today is Memorial Day.

~A Caution to all: This Is NOT a “I Love Memorial Day” Post. It is not gonna make you feel all warm and fuzzy, or even nostalgic. It may even make you think (God forbid, something makes you think!), or upset you. I express a few of my own views about this day which do not match most. If you decide to get pissed-off at my views, then that is your choice. Perhaps, maybe… it just might get you to look at our military from a slightly different perspective. Do You seek Peace? Really?

You have been prewarned… Read at your own desire.

Yes, I am aware of what it is supposed to be for. Is it wrong that days like today tend to upset me? The day does not upset me for the reasons most would first guess. I am not upset because of death, sacrifice, past history, or any number of other reasons most get emotional when they think about the significance of this day. Is it wrong that I have thought feelings, views, beliefs, and opinions that do not match most others'? Is it wrong that I have sought information, understanding, and knowledge about what has led to where we are today in life? I do not simply take a "holiday" as it is told to me by society. I do not simply "believe" what the majority does, nor do I say what everyone has been taught to say on days like today.

Yes, we have certain freedoms in America, and one of those freedoms is "freedom of speech". But that is limited to what those around you want you to say, believe, and mimic in their own views. On days like today, it is expected that we all are supposed to say the same things, pretend to feel the same way, and not truly express our freedoms.

I DO have quite strong views about our "freedom", our military, the deaths, the sacrifices, and everything that is significant on this day.

I am not on this Earth to upset people. But I am here to make a difference. So, I ask why is it I am not supposed to be who I am on days like today? I am created different, and everyone who knows me accepts, appreciates, and embraces that uniqueness... except on days like this one. On days like today, I am expected to act just like everyone else. I understand that many people would be greatly upset, and that is not my purpose. But why is it on a day like today, everyone is expected to say the things that are upsetting, and make me want nothing to do with them... yet I cannot say my mind?

America is hardly the land of the free.

For whatever you choose to see in this day... May you find Peace happiness, and maybe, possibly even Freedom....

...I Challenge you to think outside the calendar. I challenge you to find peace. Real Peace, not Peace created from violence, death, battles, and imagined heroes. I challenge you to find a hero in someone not wearing a uniform, carrying a gun, and strong-arming others to comply with their uniformity. I challenge you to find peace, love, and compassion without anybody needing to die in unnecessary battles.

For those who have decided to join, support, or in any other way be connected to the military: That is your choice. Those who have joined, served, fought, died... Those are you choices. We each choose different paths in life. Those who choose to go looking for a fight will find it. Those who go looking for peace will find it. Peace never comes from violence. Death, fear, suffering, and insecurity arise from violence, battles, and militaries.

If someone dies because they went looking for a fight, then they got what they wanted. Why would we feel they sacrificed anything? They Chose to go that path. If anything, they chose the easy way out. They died. They no longer are forced to live in this hell man has created. They no longer are forced to conform to the rules of society, working their tail off just to go and pay the next person for the right to exist on this Earth. Those who went into the military, and died took an exit from this battle the rest of us are forced to endure for as long as we are alive. Our world is not a better place at all from any military actions. America certainly is not peaceful. We certainly do not have “Freedom” And Nothing good has ever come from any military action anywhere on the globe. As long as there are people fighting, there will never be peace. As long as greedy people believe they should be greedy, there will never be peace. No amount of military involvement has ever created peace anywhere.

If America was free, we would not have the rampant violence, gangs, thefts, and greed. If America was free, there would not be rape, child-molesters, physical violence, bullies, kidnappings, or abuse. If America was truly free, there would never be anyone suffering because they were homeless. Those who chose to be without a home could live happily, free, comfortably, instaed of suffering, and treated as if they were scum. If our military was all about peace, they would focus on exactly that, not in wars. If “we” have the greatest military, then why do we not have peace, or freedom here? Since so many people believe seeking a fight is the best solution, I have an offer for them: use that desire to fight and go after those in your own country who also seek a fight. Put all the greedy seekers of violence together, and let them kill each other off. THAT WOULD HELP! If our military wanted peace, they would eradicate the gangs, the thieves, the people who wish to do harm to others. But “our military recruits people who Want to fight, Want to steal, and Want to harm others. The military creates Death, Violence, and Greed. The military actively seeks, encourages, and trains people to harm others. The military fosters the mentality that greed, harm, violence, theft, and insecurity are all good things. And when you teach people in large quantities to behave like that, there will always be death, loss, and suffering. When you foster that kind of behavior, those who do not die, and later rejoin society as a civilian, they will continue to be greedy, seek violence, and fight.

We all will die. Nobody can deny this. How and when we die is uncertain. But if this world wanted True PEACE, there would not be a need for days like today. Why do we pay special tribute to those who have helped create death?? Why do we call these people heroes? Why would anybody believe that because someone went looking for a fight, we should somehow feel sorry for them, thank them, or give them anything special? Those who are supposedly "honored" today already got exactly what they wanted. They went after it, and got it. They got their reward. As long as people on this Earth go looking for a fight, There will be deaths because of their desires.

If you are one who chose a job in the military, that was your choice. You never entered that job without knowing full-well what the outcome would be. Death, Suffering, Violence. When People seek a fight, they will find it.

Now, for those who think I am completely convinced that everyone in any military is a bad person… Nope, not at all. I happen to know many who are the exceptions. I know many who have joined, served, lost lives, suffered, etc who also happen to be the most passionate, caring, loving humans I’ve ever met. But that does not mean they were seeking peace. Nobody joins the military for peace. If they do, they are deluding themselves. I cannot change that people on this Earth will do things they absolutely swear they are against. But I can ask: Why would you join a military, if you truly wanted peace? There obviously are other reasons… and they usually boil down to greed. They wanted free housing, medical, food, clothing, and a way out of the normal society. I've known many who "ran way" to join the military to avoid jail, prison, penalties, fines, etc. I've known many who join because their past is about to catch-up with them, and they do not feel they should be held accountable. I've known many who have done such horrific crimes against others that they join the militray so they cannot be prosecuted. The military is all about the greed, violence, and death. But it does offer to those who wish to run form life a great protected escape from that life, but nothing is free. The price they paid for their escape is often death. Many join believing the military had their best interests in mind, such as providing “free schooling”… Yet nothing is truly free. So while they went in seeking something for themselves, protection from their past, or for any other reason, they Still supported the violence, the death, the fight. If people truly were against that, they would not support it, and certainly would not join. It is a choice. They chose. I, too have made choices in life which did not turn out to be so great. Yup, I've suffered because of those choices. But I gotta accept that I chose. Same as those who chose the military. We each choose. We each must accept the consequenses of our choices.

For those who suffer from the loss of a loved-one who was in the military: Yes, I am sorry for your loss. I have never sought for others to die, nor wish that upon their families and friends. Death is hard on everyone, and often those left behind have a hard time accepting it. I do not for one second discount this, nor expect you to shrug it off. Death is something I actually do understand quite well. It is never easy, and often we never fully grasp the loss. This post is not at all about that. It is about the reason they died, not what happens after they died. We cannot change what they have chosen, and find it difficult to go on with our lives based on their choices. How we proceed after their death is what makes the difference. Why do you think I am so passionate about Peace? Death has hit me hard. I feel it every day. It cripples me, and hangs on in my soul. THAT IS WHAT DRIVES ME TO SEEK PEACE. Because of loss, I sought understanding of what this day really is. What we each do with the death of one we love is what will determine our future. If we get angry, and seek a fight, encourage military action, and violence, there will always be more death and more suffering. If we seek peace with the passion of the pain of lost lives, we will find peace, compassion, caring, love, and a better world.

So, On this Memorial Day: Definitely remember those who died… But ask yourself “Why did they die?” If you really seek the answer, you will see they went looking for a fight… and found it.  Does this mean on Memorial Day we should not recognize this? Nope. We absolutely should! We should look at how we are taught to think, and learn to see what is really happening. We should ask ourselves: “Do We Want Peace?” And strive for exactly that. If I have upset you, then that means you are paying attention. Being upset is actually a good thing! Death causes me to be upset. Upset enough that I turned to find ways of peace instead of more death. Maybe by being upset, you will start to seek peace, teach others to seek peace, and perhaps lead by example? If you take your feeling of being upset, and turn it toward a fight, lashing-out at others there will never be peace. If you are upset, GOOD! Do something about it!

Just a few Crappy Thoughts...

“Do You Like Fudge Tracks?”

That is the question a female coworker asked me the other day.

My reply was: “I Prefer Moose Tracks.”

Moose Tracks Ice Cream!

She and several coworkers burst out laughing, and I realized then that she was NOT Referring to Ice Cream Flavors.

(and, No... this does not in any way connect with "Camel-toe", "Moose-knuckle", or any other random term connected with what may or may not be visible of one's anatomy inside their pants) ~=:-)... although, I likely would be more willing to openly discuss those topics rather than their unclean habits of how they mess their underpants!

I am not sure how the discussion began, but by the time she included me in it, others had already been discussing the prevalence of “fudge tracks”…. Turns out they were discussing underwear, and the streaks they seemed to think everyone had (has?) in their underwear. Ugh!

Just when I thought I had begun to understand humans…

Seriously??!  Well, I guess you could say I might be a bit naïve in this area. It is not often the subject of one’s unclean habits comes up in regards to how well they wipe their butt.  I really would have been happy to continue NOT Knowing this about others. This is not the first time I am a bit disgusted in Humans and their behaviors. Yes, I have spent a life-time inquiring and learning about what humans do… But is it wrong to believe that this was the type of activity that I thought most left behind by the time they were ten? And then to discover that others do not believe me when I say I keep myself clean, never have marks, tracks, or remnants in my underwear!

Yeah, yeah… I know… Ignorance is Bliss…. Perhaps I choose to remain ignorant in some areas. I mean, really… we ALL Do, Right? We choose what we want to know, or not know about others to allow ourselves to be able to get along with them in our daily lives. But every time something like this comes-up, I find I am Quite Disgusted by Humans.

It often seems I am all alone in this area of life. The area of hygiene, cleanliness, and perhaps slightly obsessive quirk about making sure I am clean, Always. It seems the more I learn about others, the more Isolated I become, and not be able to comingle, or find anything to connect with them.

Forgive me for deciding early in life that cleanliness was not only an option, but for me, not anything I would ever allow to be unclean. Forgive me for deciding my underwear was not meant to capture anything I so lazily did not wipe, or remove. Forgive me for finding out how wonderful it felt to be clean and comfortable. But every time this topic comes up, others do not believe that I DO in fact clean myself very well. I offer to show them my underwear, but they say “Eww, gross! No!” Because they believe my underwear must look like theirs.

It seems many are of the belief that the sole purpose of underwear is to keep those remnants from getting on the pants. Sorry, No. I don’t swing that way (pun intended). I will write a separate blog about the purpose of underwear (in my view… probably won’t match what most of the world thinks, tho’!)

This belief that most have about the filth of the back-side also explains why so many seem to believe naked would get poop on everything. It is no secret that I live my life as naked as is possible. But what baffles me is how often people seem to think that just because I am naked, I have poop on everything in my home. To me, my response to them is “What Is Wrong With You??!! Why on Earth would Anybody have poop on everything just because they are naked??” Sadly, they then look at me as if I was the disgusting one, seeming to not be aware of how I must be spreading poop. But they are the ones who are not aware.

Forgive me for learning early in life how to wipe my butt.

I tend to believe it is not at all a difficult chore… But I am often shown by others that it really must be difficult for them to grasp. Either that or they really do not care how they feel. There Really is a Wonderful Feel at knowing you are always clean!

I remember as a small child (I was probably 4 at the time) that one day I was taught by a family friend how to completely wipe, and make sure there is not a speck of anything remaining. She taught me how to properly fold the TP, and how to even get it wet from the sink to finish all the clean-up. She taught me how to not just wipe across the butt, but to be sure and clean where it came from, too. I remember how clean it felt by doing it thoroughly, and wondered why my own Mom, my Dad, or Grandparents had never taught me this. She could tell I really liked the clean feel, and she even understood that most people did not care enough to do this. She explained that most people would only use the dry TP, and be satisfied, because they were in a hurry to get off the toilet, and continue with their day. From that day on, I NEVER wiped with only a dry piece of tissue ever again. I tried and tried to tell everyone how to feel so clean, but like so many other things, they looked at me like I was the freak, weirdo, or just did not belong. So I learned to stop trying to help them.

I Always have wet-wipes under my bathroom sink, and even in my pack. When I have owned vehicles, there was always a container under the seat. But there have been times that they were not available… such as when I was younger. Mostly, My family did not believe in using wet to clean, so I was all alone in this area. But I found that I could always find a way to get a tissue wet, even camping, on long road trips, hiking, or any number of places where one may not find running water. Many public restrooms do not have sinks right next to a toilet, and all they have is pathetic dry tissue available for wiping (and often, they have run-out completely!). I learned that I could get a paper-towel wet long before I would need it, and fold it, wrap it in plastic, and tuck it into the waistband of my underwear for when I needed it later. (Ever wonder why that funny-double-fabric area, with openings is there in the front of boys’ underwear? I found it was the perfect place to stash a few sheets of tissue, even the wet ones in the plastic!) Ironically, every time I have been with others and they suddenly discovered there was no TP available, I would be the one to “magically” make some appear. They never asked where I had it hidden. To me, it was not an option to leave the house without it.

It also surprises me when I hear of people who have somehow run out of TP at their home. How Is This Possible?? Likewise, I hear often of those who use a public toilet, only to discover After they have done their business that there was no TP available. I cannot grasp this. Why would they NOT Check first?? And why would they also not have any of their own with them?? I guess I really am the freak, huh? I have NEVER Been without TP in my life, Nor have I ever Run out at home, or found that I suddenly was without in a public place.

While I know I cannot change the world, Is it Asking Too Much to ask the world to clean their butt?? Ugh… Humans!

Sorry for a Sh**y Blog-post…. But this was bugging the crap outta me (Pun intended!) and I needed to get it written….

...and, yes, I can prove to anyone who does not believe me... Anytime ya wanna look at my underwear, you will NEVER find any tracks... whether Moose, Fudge, or other. I keep clean, thank you very Much! ~=:-)

Happiness is Horse Poop and Ant-hills

Pondering Horse Poop and Ant Hills:

That Is How I spent my 45^th birthday.

Pondering Horse poop, and Watching Ants was not exactly how I had planned to spend my Birthday, But It turned out to be exactly what I needed to make this Birthday a wonderful day!

I had thought I had The Perfect Birthday all planned:

I was going to go explore a new lake I had found. I was gonna be naked most of the day, soak up the sun, swim, and relax. I was gonna watch trains, play on the tracks, and Be Naked while I did. I was gonna take lots of pictures, use a few silly props I brought along, and grin the entire day. I was gonna be in the ultimate escape from the madness of the city I live in. I live in Las Vegas. Any time I can find a nice little slice of nature tucked away amid the concrete and neon, it can seem like I am miles from the concrete jungle. 

Vegas is notorious for eliminating any remnants of nature. In just the two years I’ve been here, I’ve witnessed horrific destruction of anything resembling nature. Any living plant is removed. Any natural place is bulldozed and paved with concrete. The water-district actually paid everyone to remove their lawns. Even places that have been years in the making to establish trees, shrubs, and natural brush suddenly get bulldozed, and then replanted with very sparse new trees and shrubs. That is The Vegas way. Everything old must be made new. Nothing established remains for long. Every tree that looks full and healthy gets pruned to the bare limbs, with only a few sprigs of green remaining. Then within the next few months that tree dies, so they rip it out, and plant a new one… smaller, more sparse, very tidy, minimal green. Vegas likes to rip out real cactus, shrubs, and trees, and replace them with metal-sculptures that are supposed to look real. Vegas likes to take even a dirt-path, and scrape it clear of any actual rocks, or imperfections, and place a layer of fine-packed gravel for a smooth surface. After just being here a short while, it is evident Vegas is Not just looking for a concrete place, they also are more Anti-nature than any other place I’ve explored.

Even one of my favorite escapes which when I discovered it two years ago, was one of the most beautiful pieces of nature, with well-established trees and shrubs. It Was the Wetlands. I say Was, because in the past 9-months, they have gone and ripped it all up, and paved it with concrete. The water that flowed used to flow free, a meandering river, with trees, shrubs, and life. They bulldozed it all, and have made it a concrete channel… But to make it “Natural” they have piled rock on top of the concrete. Sometimes I think the people in charge of planning these “Nature” areas have never been in nature, and to them, a sterile, constructed “nature” is as realistic as it gets. It is sickening.

Last week, I was out in The City of Henderson exploring. I was exploring The Pittman Wash. A small section of wash that is still natural. It also has a train trestle I had heard about I wanted to explore. I found it (turns out I was only half a mile from it the last time I explored here, and I would have found it the next time I went out there, even if I had not heard about it otherwise.) I had a wonderful day, and when I got home, I looked-up on Google Maps where I had been, and to get a better idea of where that wash meandered for future explorations. Imagine my surprise when I saw on the map, just about another two-miles from where I was ANOTHER Purely natural Area. And It Had a Lake, too!

I studied the map, and birds-eye-view, so I could go back there again on my birthday. This is what I saw on Google:

It was perfect! I looked it up in other web-searches. It was called Railroad Lake.  It was an old quarry-pit that was used ages ago by the Railroad. It has since filled-in with water. That is why it is called Railroad Lake. According to the map, there is still an active rail line alongside the lake. (Not shown in the pictures above, but it runs across the north side of the lake) It looks perfect! It looks like a forgotten space in the mad-dash to pave everything. I searched many write-ups and all the info I could find. I found that the park on one small corner, called “Cornerstone Park” was actually in the process of adding a few features, but from what the maps showed, it was still only a small portion of the wild and natural Railroad Lake. Even the roads all around seemed to be minor roads, and not terribly crowded. It did appear that the development had stayed well-away from the lake. It made me wonder if the lake was toxic, or why it was still so untouched. So I planned to go there for my birthday. I figured that even if the water was not clean, or not safe to touch, I could still find plenty of beauty in the natural remnants of a time long-gone in this region.

I had the perfect day planned. (Actually it started the night before when a friend, Kara had me over for Tacos for dinner… don’t laugh. If ya knew, you’d understand the importance. It was a perfect Start to my Birthday!) As I began my morning, I was heading-out right around 8am. I was a bit sad, because I was earlier than I had hoped. Kara was working the day-shift and I had hoped to stop and say hi before heading out. But then, I realized that I still needed to get some photos of The Ducks for Easter. The photos I had in mind were needing to be done in the daylight, and I knew I’d get home after dark, so I took a few minutes to gather, and go shoot the ducks. 

Of course, a few minutes turned into an hour, but that is ok, too, because I enjoy getting lost in my creativity, and play. As I headed out, I was happy to see it was just about 9. That made me smile, because I’d get to stop and visit with Kara.

As I walked toward Fremont Street, I pondered Breakfast. I was thinking of just grabbing McDonald’s, and heading out. Nice n simple. I was even gonna ask Kara if she wanted anything… cuz she is always hungry, and often cannot escape from work to grab a bite. But then, I remembered “It’s My Birthday!” That triggered me to think about spoiling myself a wee-bit. I remembered that I’d wanted to go to The New Denny’s On Fremont. (Yes, Denny’s… It’s a new one, it’s On Fremont, AND it has an outdoor patio…. Yes, Denny’s always is consistent, and a safe place to find food ya want at fair prices… But This One is Different!) I decided I’d stop and see Kara, and see if she wanted anything from there. She was not at Her kiosk, but I noticed her tip-jar was empty. (It was just the beginning of the day) But a tip-jar does much better with a little seed-money, So I put some in. 

As I did, I noticed one of the bills had a red-heart on it. That made me smile. Then she returned. She was thrilled to have me bring something back… in fact she was craving The Biscuits n Gravy. That made me smile, too! 

I went to the new Denny’s on Fremont for Breakfast, and ate out on the patio. Then took Kara her Biscuits n Gravy. She was excited (and did not know I’d seeded the tip jar...yet) that she already was getting lotsa tips!

Then I headed out, map in hand, on the buses to find this lake. I knew roughly where I needed to go, and figured with an over 200-acre natural area, it would be easy to find. As I went I knew from the map, I was getting close to where the lake would be. But I was slightly dismayed to find that the roads were a wee-bit more crowded, and the area around The lake was a Lot more crammed with mega-apartments, mega-shopping centers, and More traffic than the aerial views on Google portrayed. I was beginning to think the Google view may have been many years outdated. As I neared where the lake should have been, I was quite amazed to see the ten-lane roads, and endless strip-malls, and mega-apartment complexes all over-filling this area. I saw that the area was bursting-at-it’s seams with meg-everything… everything except anything resembling nature. I began to suspect my “natural” lake would no longer be what the picture showed. I am not extremely familiar with The Henderson Area, but I am beginning to learn that it is just a Mega-Overflow of Vegas… without as much neon…. And the only ‘natural’ to be found is pristine landscaping, and manicured hedges. Ugh.

I got off the bus where I figured I was close to the lake. From here, I should have been able to see the hills, trees, and area where the lake was. But I could not. I was only half-a-mile from The Lake, but the amount of traffic cramming the roads was incredible! This was a Saturday morning. I could just imagine how horrible the traffic here was on a weekday! Even standing there, I knew that I could still find something beautiful. I always can. That is part of what makes my adventures so meaningful… I can find beauty in ANY Situation. But I gotta look for it… and it was painfully clear that today, I would have to search hard. The noise and pollution surrounding me at the moment was enough to almost make me get outta that region as fast as possible! But I was determined to go find this lake, and find something beautiful to enjoy amid this Chaos of Concrete and Noise…. 

The same chaos that so many who live here find to be what they want, and need… not knowing what a bit of nature can do for their soul. Yup, I know I live in a land where people do not understand peace, nor seek it… a land where anything natural is obliterated, anything created by God, or showing the way natural beauty is calming is forbidden.

I put my map away, because I knew from here where that hundreds of acres escape from the city was supposed to exist…

Often, I find my escapes in many ways. One of those I find to be extremely comforting is in what I listen to on my headphones. I still listen to old-fashioned broadcast radio. To be more specific, I listen to NPR… Yup Public Broadcasting. One of my all-time joys is the ability to actually listen on a weekend. The weekend shows are different than the weekday shows. With my work-schedule, I seldom get to listen on weekends anymore. But On my Birthday, it was a Saturday… and I was able to listen. This is one of those things that I can find peace, calm, and comfort in… especially in the chaos I suddenly was immersed-in on my quest to find this lake.

As I walked, listened to the radio, and tuned out as much as was possible the concrete jungle, I began to notice the area I was seeking. I was correct… It was no longer a natural area at all…

heart sank. I pondered it a moment, then decided to continue on, and at least explore what remained of the lake.  As I approached, I saw a sign stating “Progress Ahead”. It was a City-construction sign, intended to show what they call progress was under way, and those walking here may encounter construction. It made me hurt more. The reality of where I live sinks in hard sometimes. The incessant need to eliminate anything beautiful and natural, make it sterile, and then call it “natural” by the humans here is absolutely disgusting. I still cannot grasp why so many people here will not go where nature is, until they have re-created it in a sterile way. Yes, I am aware that these places cater to the masses, and in this world, the masses drive everywhere, park their vehicles, and then walk…with frappucino in hand from the Starbucks only a block away. Then they go for “A Walk in Nature”, wearing their perfectly-fitted yoga outfits, hair combed, and makeup-unsmudged by any existence of real-life. They walk on paved paths, in pre-determined routes with no appreciation of what nature really is. 

To the masses, here, This is nature.

I cringed. I almost cried. BUT, I decided that I needed to make the best of it, and find something to enjoy about my Birthday. That is what I do. I find Beauty… somehow. I went on down to the edge of The Lake. I could tell there was something not right about the water, but that would take me a while to grasp. I saw some birds, and ducks. I knew I could find a spot to just be still, and get lost in what was considered ‘nature’ by this standard. I found the entire region was sterile. Not sterile as in “germ-free” but sterile in the sense that nothing existed here, except what man had created. There was not a single insect on the ground. There was not a pebble out of place. Yes, there were ‘dirt’ paths… but those were even perfectly manicured, and so smooth, I could have roller skated across them. I found there were places to sit along the shore of the lake… 

But even these were almost-square rock chunks placed on concrete slabs. Very sterile, very tidy. Ugh. Oh well… I Decided to sit a bit.

I was wearing my jeans and t-shirt, planning to either strip completely naked once I found the lake, or to at least change into my shorts. Once I saw the way the people here looked at me down their noses, and disapproved of my comfy-torn-holey jeans, and tie-dye shirt, I decided to not change into anything more comfy. This was not a safe place for me, and the last thing I needed was to be “on display”. This was clearly not a world for me. (I could not help but miss Oregon, Washington, and Virginia... where a setting like this I could easily lay out naked, and nobody would even look twice... heck often people would come and join me...But this was not that kind of accepting environment.) But I was determined to find something of beauty here. I sat. I watched.

Once I allowed myself to fully forget about those who occupied this place, I was able to see many wonderful birds. 

That was good. But as I watched, I also noticed the birds were the only life-form here. My suspicions about the toxic-lake were correct, and I was seeing it… or NOT seeing it, as it may be. I noticed there was not a single insect on the ground, flying or even on, or in the water. I noticed my lungs felt as if I had suddenly inhaled some form of pesticide, or vapor of toxin, poison, or something that was brewing deep in the waters of this old pit. I admired the birds, but wondered how they suffered. Birds are always amazing in how they manage to exist… even in the worst places. But as I sat there, I noticed more and more how bad this area was. This is Insect season… The end of March is when the ground begins to crawl with insects. The waters begin to have tadpoles, insects, and fish eagerly consuming their snacks.

I DID Find much beauty in the birds, but I could tell this was a bad place. I got some great shots of the birds… But even as I did, I was painfully reminded of how this natural lake was no longer a place of nature.

I decided I had inhaled enough (more than enough!) toxins, and went for a walk around the lake to see if I could discover anything else. As I walked, I could see how deep the waters were. The water was clear, and not cloudy… which also was strange. That told me Nothing lived in it. On some of the bridges, I marveled at how sterile this water was. So Strange. Not one fish, frog, insect, or critter existed here. Only the birds, and ducks. There was not even a single tadpole, lizard, or other type of critter. It was sterile (and toxic) beyond the ability to sustain even the simplest of live-forms.

The water really did look inviting, and I wanted so badly to go for a swim. I even touched it to see… it was warm enough! But it had a feel to it that told me it was instant poison. 

On a bridge, peering into the water... No Life here.

I really had my heart set on playing here for my birthday. It was hard to not get down about it, but I realized I really was glad I came. I had come, and learned. I had gone where I had previously not known. If I had not come, I always would have wondered. But I came. For that, I was glad. This is what makes me who I am. I go, explore, learn, discover, and add a wee-bit more to my understanding of this world in which I live. It is not always easy, and not always positive, fun, and pleasant… but It Always has a purpose, and Always takes me to the next step in this journey of life. With that in mind, I headed on to The Next part of this Birthday Journey.

I decided I would spend the rest of the day in a place where I Knew I could at least get naked, get into the water, and lay comfortably in the sun. A Place where I could see fish, critters, insects, and nature. A place where others did not look down their noses at me. A place where even when others saw me naked, they did not care. A place where there was not a Starbucks within six miles. That place was The Wetlands.

I walked to where I could catch a bus, and found I would be waiting another 45-minutes. I pondered walking… but it was at least another five or six miles to where I needed to connect with the bus that would take me out near the wetlands, and figured if I walked that far, I would not also want to go out and walk to, or through the wetlands. I waited. … and again was stuck in the middle of the Urban Jungle. As I sat there, I laughed… Here, I live right in the Middle of Downtown Las Vegas, and where I live is so peaceful, and has more nature than a place miles from Vegas! The place I live has two-lane-roads, is quiet, and comfortable…. In the middle of Downtown Vegas! Yet, out here, it is far-more polluted, unbearably noisy, and has ten-lane roads. The Irony is incredible.

Once I got to the bus-line that would take me out near The Wetlands, I laughed. That bus does not run on Saturdays. Ugh. Oh well… more adventure, right?

I decided to catch a bus that would take me about five miles from The Wetlands. It was still early afternoon, so I figured I could still have plenty of time to go explore, play, and enjoy that region. After I took that bus, I began walking towards The Wetlands. I got a feeling that I was not supposed to go there this day. I know better than to go where I feel I am not supposed-to. Fair-enough, I thought. I clearly am meant to do something else today. It was now well-above 80-degrees, and I was wanting to change into shorts. But I decided not to. It just did not feel right, so I stayed in my jeans. The irony is, I know I gotta trust my instincts… Every time I began to ponder just changing right where I was, A Henderson police officer would cruise by. That woulda been just perfect… get arrested on My Birthday for taking my clothes off in a public place. Each time I pondered changing, within seconds, another officer would come by, slow down, and watch me. I just laughed... And decided I was meant to stay in jeans this day.

The Henderson Police Department

Ironically, as I walked, still not sure where I was headed, since I knew I was not going to The Wetlands, I pondered all the new sights I’d never before seen out here. I discovered the New Henderson Police Station. Ironically, It had more nature than any other place I’d been all day! 

And even Lizards! 

I smiled, and enjoyed the irony.

Then, as I walked some more, I remembered seeing pictures from someone I knew online about a trip they took to Henderson, and very recent pictures of The Henderson Bird-Viewing Sanctuary. I did look at the map of where they took those photos, because two-years before, I had tried to find the same place… And ironically, that was how I found a new section of The Wetlands. That sanctuary did not exist where it was shown on the maps, and even on a Google-earth map. At that time, I went where the maps showed, and the aerial photos showed… and it could not be found. The roads did not exist. (That is something I am learning about Vegas, Henderson, and this entire region… Because of the mentality that exists to obliterate everything, and constantly change what exists, No Road matches what is shown on the maps, or Aerial Views. I need to stop trusting that a map is accurate here. I tend to go on life-long lessons, and trust that maps are created to be accurate… as has been the case in every other region I’ve ever explored…. But not here.

But I felt I was near the Bird Sanctuary, and kept walking. Sure enough, I found this sign.

Oh, whoops... it seems it is a "Preserve" not a Sanctuary. Ha! :)

As I walked down the long road, I was surprised to find that at each place where it seemed to end, and where I hoped I would find The Sanctuary, there was yet another sign: 

This continued for well-over a mile, with many new turns, and many more signs. I was beginning to wonder if This Place Really Existed, or was it just like so many other things here… Long gone. 

Finally, I found This sign:  Yes! Finally!...

….Then I turned the corner…. 

All I could do was laugh! I asked out loud, “Couldn’t you have placed that sign a mile-back??” I had to pee, and since I did not for the past hour because every time I turned around a police officer was watching me, I decided This was the perfect spot! I knew no officers had come down that road, and I could pee right here. I Pee’d On their Fence! Right there, right then. I pondered peeing on the sign, but decided that would just be wrong.

I was hungry, and had plenty of food in my pack, but had not previously found a place I wanted to sit and eat… But I needed to, so I went to a concrete retaining wall, and ate. While I ate, I saw lots of insects, and could smell Horse-poop. To me, this was good. It was nature… well, sorta. But I watched the red ants, and wondered where the horse-poop smell was wafting from. Anyone who has ever been around horses knows that horse-people are often caring, outdoor-type people. They are not usually into eliminating nature, paving everything, and fighting with others. Horse-people tend to be kind, and want to be peaceful. So, the smell of Horse poop was a good thing.

I saw this insect, and got down on the pavement at its level to watch it move. Nature is a wonderful thing.

As I walked back, I was not sure where I’d head next. I found some of the strangest things… Here is a shooting range that no longer exists. 

This sign had no reason. there was nothing facing it.

I saw signs that made no sense… out in the middle of nothing. 

As I walked, I could smell more horse-poop. That made me smile. As the horse-poop smell got stronger, I noticed more red ants. I wondered of the red ants somehow thrived on horse poop. When I began seeing not just red ants, but massive ant-hills, and watching the ants, I realized why I had come where I did on My Birthday. I realized how tiny I am on This Huge Earth. I realized that while the earth goes on obliterating what is natural, and I am seeking to find something I could enjoy, perhaps I was looking at too big of a picture. I was seeking something different than the peaceful places I had already discovered. I already know all-too-well how it’s the littlest things that make life worthwhile. As I watched the ants, and noticed what they accomplished, I was happy, amazed, and a wee-bit humbled. 

Ironically, IF There had been any living form at The Lake, I likely would have appreciated it then, too… But since I traveled at least twenty miles on buses, and so far had walked well-over twelve miles this day, and it was only once I smelled the Horse poop, and saw the ants that I truly found happiness, it is an interesting feeling. I watched those ants haul pieces of gravel which were bigger than the ant, and marveled at their ability. 

The anthills were perfectly formed, with a perfect flow of ants in and out of the tiny openings. There was not a single conflict, and each ant knew what it was supposed to do. As each piece of gravel, wood, sand, or dirt was carried out, it was precisely placed to help build the grand-mound surrounding their hole. 

I walked further, and found where the Horse poop originated from. I noticed the ants seemed to thrive in the actual piles of horse poop. This, too made me smile, and appreciate nature. It only helped to prove what I say is wrong with our Earth today. I noticed how life thrived in the poop-pile, and also how the ants made their homes in what those who destroyed the lake and its surrounding would find appalling. The ants did not live in a sterile environment, but they seemed healthier and more adjusted than the humans I saw this day. 

A Mega-road with 6-lanes... right now it is empty...

The ants had lots of traffic in their little paths they made into and out of their homes, But they knew how to get along, and how to work with the others they shared this home with. The ants had only one lane, and hundreds shared that one lane for all directions. The humans build mega-roads, and still can't seem to move anywhere.The humans seemed to thrive on being angry, honking, and yelling at others who shared the crazy world they had created. The ants appreciated what they had, and used it to their advantage. The humans did not. The ants had a wonderful balance in how they went about life. They used what nature gave them, and made it work quite well. The Humans felt they needed to change their world to make it fit their lives… yet they are not happy. 

Later that night, after I had gone home, I decided to go get a pizza for my Birthday dinner. There are many pizza places near me. In fact in the past month no less than 5 new pizza places have opened. I could have gone to any one of those brand-new, shiny, glitzy, sparkling-clean, and not a speck-of-grease having yet accumulated on the fixtures places. All these new places have lines of people wishing to experience the newest, the brightest, the fanciest, the still-unblemished, and the fancy uniformed-workers without a spot of grease yet on their aprons. 

I chose to go to The Oldest Pizza-joint in Downtown. Uncle Joe’s Pizza is not bright, not sparkling, not fancy, and definitely not boasting about its fancy uniforms. Uncle Joe’s is one of the oldest, but most-wonderful pizza places I have discovered in Downtown Vegas. They do not have a door-person to evaluate if you fit their criteria, match their dress-codes, or are the look they want others to see in their pizzeria. There is not a line to get in, and no fancy sings, lighting, or even menu-boards. Their menu is on a piece of paper, taped to the window. The employees have t-shirts as their uniform with years of wear-and-tear, grease-stains that a gallon of bleach could not touch, and have no intention of trying to pretend to be anything they are not. The counter is worn with the use that comes from years of providing service to the community. The restaurant feels like it is comfortable, and welcoming, because it has welcomed thousands over the years. It has forged a spot in this community, working with the community, not against it.When you place your order, they do not give you a number. They remember each customer, and when your pizza is ready, they know who you are, and which order is yours. You could say that Uncle Joe’s is comparable to The Horse poop. 

For those who know and appreciate real life, Uncle Joe’s is thriving with life. Much like the ants do not find horse poop to be offensive, this is the same with the humans who call Uncle Joe’s comfortable, and will continue to eat there. We appreciate what is real, tried and true, and know that without a doubt, we will always find what we need in our lives among the poop. The people who go to those new pizza places look down their noses at a place like Uncle Joe’s. Those are the same people who won't visit a natural place, until it has been bulldozed, sterilized, paved, and planted with perfectly manicured plants. Those are the people who will not visit the outdoors if the is life to be found in it. It is sad, because they are so afraid to go where there might be life, they actually miss out on the most important things… the little things....LIFE.

It only made me smile and realize how wonderful my life is. I can appreciate some of the seemingly most-simple things on Earth. Those simple things that are fast-being obliterated by my fellow humans. All my life, I have tried to get others to come along with me, to see life from my perspective… the perspective of an ant in the horse-poop. I like my world to be a bit on the poopy-side. I like my world a bit less-sterile. … Natural. Life thrives in the poop. Nothing lives in a man-made setting. The visit to The Railroad Lake was exactly  what I needed for My 45^th Birthday. I can appreciate that I found someplace I had not been, learned from it, and because of this exploration, have yet a better understanding of The World in which I live. Now, I just wonder what it will take to get the rest of The Humans to understand that The Poop is where life really happens. 

Sometimes, ya gotta wear the jeans, when you’d rather be naked. Sometimes ya gotta find a lake, only to realize this was not the day you were supposed to go swimming. Sometimes, ya gotta walk for miles, just to discover an ant hill amid mounds of horse poop. Sometimes, it takes many buses, many hours of your day, and Many unpleasant sights to discover what is really important in life….

Vegas needs so much more than rain...

As I walked to get my pizza, I saw this quote on a plaza. Ironically this was next to one of the oldest buildings downtown… not near one of the new places. This sums up quite well what I saw and experienced on my 45^th Birthday. Vegas thrives on removing all life-forms. Rain is such an important ingredient to life... yet Vegas and Henderson have worked to remove what would benefit from the rain, So this quote hits it right on the head... Rain would do no good to an environment that does not appreciate life. The Irony is lost on those who plan these cities. We live in a desert. Rain creates and sustains life. Now All forms of vegetation have been removed, so no water can remain, the air cannot be cleaned, the water that exists is toxic, and we have droughts, and flash-floods. It's not hard to grasp... but for those who have been here too long, it seems the heat has warped their brain. Water is life. Nature heals itself. Concrete, and lack of living forms destroys itself. I live in Vegas. I still seek life.