"You Must Be Gay"

“You Must Be Gay”


Those words are often said to me. This happens often enough in my life, it is one of many reasons I am never quick to allow people inside my walls. I have learned in life that it is not worth getting upset over anymore. It does, however, sadden me that so many people are so quick to label me in this manner. It shows me that even though the person is in my life enough to feel they should come to this conclusion, they really have not cared enough to actually learn even the tiniest of things about who I am, and what makes me who I am.

Anyone taking even the slightest interest in getting to know me would know there is absolutely nothing about me that would indicate I am attracted to males. If they paid any attention at all, they would know that. However, if they wish to refer to the term of ‘gay’ to mean “carefree, happy, bright and showy, optimistic, or even a free-lifestyle, having no attachments”, I would be more than happy to accept their label. Sadly, most do not even know these are all definitions of the word ‘gay’, and only use the word to imply “attraction to members of the same sex”.



It would seem the main reason this comes up, is because I do not behave like most males they know. Yet, the irony in their logic is, the many things most males which they are comparing me with would in fact indicate those men are gay. Those behaviors of most men are quickly defended as “Just being men”. Now, this is where it gets interesting. People are baffled that I do not behave like most men. I seldom do anything which involves other men. This is where they feel I should be labeled as gay. Most men seek-out, and are very interested in being with other men. According to Wikipedia, “the word gay was recommended to describe people attracted to members of the same sex.” So, Why is it that those men who are in fact attracted to other men, are labeled “Men”. Yet, I am not attracted to other men, and for some reason, people want to label me “Gay”.



Before I go any further, rest assured, I have absolutely nothing against anybody and their own preferences in life. I support every lifestyle, orientation, and attraction anybody desires for their own life. I feel this is a personal choice for each individual, and that it is nobody else’s business what another finds attractive, or is attracted to. What I DO have a problem with, is people who feel they should force their choices on others. I believe people should be free to enjoy what makes them happy, and that is their business, and nobody else’s. Those who truly know Me, know I support every mix, and choice imaginable. What gets me worked-up is when people either lie about what they are, or try to force others into a lifestyle they are not interested in. This would include those who think they should label me gay, just because I am not like most men. It would be wonderful if those people would appreciate who I am, and what I stand for, instead of wanting to make me behave like the very people who they claim they cannot trust.

I am hardly homophobic. Heck, the gay guys are less creepy than the ones who claim to be straight! And those who are openly gay, are happy to accept me the way I am. It is the ones who claim to be straight that want to convert me into their lifestyle. Often the openly gay guys act less gay than the supposedly straight ones.



Now, You tell me… Who is gay, and who is not?

People are quick to label me gay, but they cannot come up with a valid reason for that label. Yet those same people defend the men who are attracted to other men. This conversation makes those guys who claim to be straight extremely angry. For some reason, they have never looked at their own behavior in this manner. Those men who are attracted to other men, yet claim to be straight refuse to see anything that would normally be considered gay as applied to them. So I have to ask, Why are so many men afraid to admit they are either Gay, or possibly Bi? They openly go about their life, and are not at all ashamed to show their affection, and attraction to other men, but the moment someone suggests their behavior would indicate a gay lifestyle, they get extremely angry.

Women seldom fall into this category. Most women are open about their attraction to other women. It is widely accepted, and even encouraged by most men, and women. But for some reason the same is not true with men. Men and women are not willing to accept the man’s gay lifestyles. Perhaps that is the key? Maybe once the women openly accept that many men have a gay (or Bi) lifestyle, and not look at it as a bad thing, then possibly the men will stop lying about who they are. Why do so many women defend, and deny the gay lifestyle of their men? For some reason, it seems most of society wants men to be called straight, even when they are openly Gay, or Bi. And at the same time, it seems most of society wants, and encourages women to live a Gay, or Bi lifestyle, and have no problem with it. Why is our society so hung up on these labels?



There is not a person who knows me that would claim I have any attraction to males. There is no denying my attraction to women. So it always baffles me when someone feels they should say “You Must Be Gay.” Would they rather I treated women in a slanderous, rude, and derogatory manner? I treat women with respect. I find great value in all that a woman is. I appreciate women for the wonderful human, the wonderful individual, the intelligent person, and the whole person they are as an individual. The people who wish me to act like the men they hate, yet so quickly defend, can go somewhere else to force their wishes on someone else. I will not give up what is important to me, or treat women poorly for them to feel I fit their ideal of how a man should behave in their own rude life. I have stopped getting upset over the shallowness, and rudeness of many in our society, but this sort of thing does not help me to find the good in my fellow human. I often find myself withdrawing further, and digging deeper into these sorts of issues for my own benefit, to possibly, and hopefully find something, anything that would convince me to not give-up all hope for humans. The more I learn about Humans, the more I want to rid the Earth of all Humans, and let nature reclaim this planet.



I will write a separate blog to address the reasons I see many males who claim to be straight as actually living a gay, or bi lifestyle.

Hopefully, some of those who do this will read this, and possibly learn to treat their fellow human with a little more care and respect. This subject has come up while at work, by coworkers, and I cannot bring up such deep and controversial topics at work. I am paid to work while there, and must keep my opinions to a minimum. Sadly, the same does not seem to apply to others. Others can be extremely slanderous, and rude with no fear of possibly losing their jobs. When I bring this up to Management, or Human Resources, I am told that I am held to a higher level of accountability because I DO know better. They defend the ones who misbehave saying “they do not know any better”. I am positive that if I said such rude things to another, I would immediately be fired. I occasionally will say a little while at work, but know the acceptable limits. I Can, and Will Post my opinions on my own blog, on my own time. Maybe you know someone who is affected similarly, and you can share this with them, so they know they are not alone in their struggles. If my writings help even one person, then you have just discovered the reason I exist on this place we call Earth. Even if that help is in the form of something to help take their mind off their own troubles for a moment. Or if it helps someone to better understand another in their own life. Any way I can help another is the purpose for my life. I write, and express my thoughts for the sole purpose of creative expressionism, to find an outlet for my own troubles. I make them public, because I have benefitted from other’s writings in the same manner. I appreciate what has been given, and I happily pass that giving along to others.



I Hope You have a Safe and Wonderful Day! Thank You for reading My Blog! Jon~=:-)