Death... Why Complicate it?

Death… Why Do We Fear and Complicate it?

What is it about Death, Dying, and the Dead that we insist on making so complicated?

Why do humans insist on getting scared, fearful, irrational, or shocked when the topic of death is at hand?

Why do we have such a hard time grasping, understanding, and accepting death?

Why is Death A topic To write about today? Well, it is always a topic, daily… But recently I have been seeking more answers. Nope, not because I have recently encountered more death. But rather, because I have recently moved to a new neighborhood. Yeah, yeah, I know that will throw ya! You wonder how a new neighborhood could be more about death? Well, it really is about that. My walk-to-work daily now passes many things which bring this topic to the surface. The very first thing I saw the day I moved here is this:

This is a “memorial” that has been created on a street-corner. I absolutely hate these. (I will explain later).

The next thing I noticed was this:

It is a cemetery I walk past daily. (I will go into more detail about how I feel about these later).

But the reason I stopped to write about death today is because of a walk I took last night. (I will tell about that later, too ).

It is no secret that I accept, embrace, and even love the topic of death. (Note, I said “the topic of”… I will explain how that is different from loving death a little later) I do not get freaked-out, shocked, or even question death one-bit. Some would go so far as to say I am insensitive, unfeeling, and not caring about others’ lives. Some would say I am morbid, even a freak. It is easy for them to say these things, because they want to quickly dismiss my views without attempting to understand, or grasp what I know. If they have lived, and experienced what I have, they also would likely embrace my way of accepting death. They say ignorance is bliss… I disagree. I say information, knowledge, experience, and understanding are bliss. As a good example, I can compare how death affects most people, verses how it affects me. I am not the one who does irrational things when death is near. I am always balanced, accepting, and understanding. Those who do not have knowledge, understanding, and information are the ones who are in shock, disbelief, and have a hard time functioning.  

Now, Let me make it clear: I am never happy about a death, Never. Also, some think death does not sadden me just because I am not seemingly sad on the surface: My level of sadness when a living being dies is much deeper than just an outward- appearance for others to simply see on the surface. To understand and grasp the sadness I feel, one would have to tune-into my soul, my spirit, my energy, my every-cell. The way I am tuned –into feelings, energy, spirits, and souls, unless you look into the same areas, you will never understand what I feel every time a life ends.

Just because I love the topic of death, does not mean I love death. There is a huge difference.  The topic of death means learning, understanding, grasping, accepting, and being at peace with it. Because death is something that happens all around us, all our lives, and to every living being upon this earth, I choose to learn about it, instead of choosing to hide from it.

What I do not understand is why so many people seem to be shocked when death happens. I also do not grasp why so many pretend this is something they know nothing about. Why do so many think one kind of death is more of a loss than another kind? Why do some think it is so much worse if it is a child, compared to an adult? Why do people think a death occurred “too soon”, or “unexpectedly”? Why do some people think someone “left us too soon”, or that an age, any age is “Too early”?  There is no such thing as “dying too early”. It is not possible. A death can only happen when it is meant to happen. It cannot happen too early, or too late. No matter the age, when a death is supposed to happen, it will. Never a moment too soon, never a moment too late. A death is never “unexpected”. We learn from the moment we are created that this world is not ours, not our time, not our decision as to what happens, and when. We learn early in life that things happen when they are supposed to. If we choose to say it was “unexpected” that is only because we seemed to think we somehow had control over our universe. We do not. We must expect death, since it will happen to all life. This is something most choose to not admit, and why they are shocked when it happens. Every Life ends. It is not unexpected, unless we choose to not accept the truth.

Why do the news-agencies focus and highlight one type of death over another? (Such as a story that features the headline “Nine-people died, and One Child was lost”, or worse, they divide our humanity, based on country of origin: such as “In this horrible event, twenty people died, Five of them were ‘Americans’”. Or they even divide further to say what someone’s “ability” or “disability” was, such as: “In this event, Six people died, One was Deaf” (Or “in a wheelchair”, or had “Chrones disease”, or “had cancer”) Chooses any topic, and they seem to think they should label that person according to some special category. This is absolutely ridiculous! EVERY LIFE IS EQUAL. EVERY DEATH of ANY LIVING being is Equal. It is NOT a GREATER LOSS because someone was (Fill in the blank). We are all the same in the sense of life. Once it has ended, it is not a greater loss, or somehow more tragic. Stop dividing us. We Are ALL HUMAN. No age, no gender, no religion, no sexual-orientation, and no nationality is more important than another. Death does not change that.

The same is true, if not more-extreme, for actors, actresses, or famous people. Why is it when someone famous dies, so many people really freak out over it? Most of the time, those who are most-affected have never met that person.

EVERY DEATH IS THE SAME: It is a Life that has ended. It is Not a Greater loss, or somehow more important.  One of my biggest complaints about our world is the way people attempt to divide, instead of attempting to unite, and be as one world.

So, you might wonder what makes me such an expert on death? Ha! Hardly an expert. I just choose to learn from every experience in life. I choose to understand what life is all about. I choose to learn, and know what I have control over, and what I do not. From the moment each of our own lives was created, we are headed toward death. What we choose to do between creation and death is our own choice. Some choose to never learn, never grasp, and always be shocked by things that are common occurrences. I choose to find a way to be at peace with my world. I have been accused of noticing more details than most do. That could be by my own choosing, or it could be that I was gifted with an ability that enables me to focus on those things. One of the most important things I choose in life is to learn. I choose to learn from every moment, every experience, every feeling, every encounter. I choose to understand the things that were once a mystery. There is not enough time in a life to grasp everything we do not understand, so we must choose the ones we feel are most important to us. Why have I chosen to study, embrace, and understand death? Because of how it affects us if we do not. I can choose to not study how an engine of a car works, and continue to be baffled by it. Not understanding an engine will not send me into a tail-spin if suddenly it stops performing. Likewise, that is why death is something I have chosen to focus on. Not understanding why a life ended can have a major affect on my own life. We each must choose what areas of life we want to grasp. Most never want to grasp death, that is why it affects them so horribly.

For me, not learning about Death was not an option. I am not sure if it would be considered a blessing, or a curse to have experienced death often early in my life.  But I did. I had many deaths around me from the moment my own life began. Many do not believe a human understands what is happening around them from the moment they are born. You are welcome to believe anything you choose. I have always felt, seen, and grasped more than most think is possible. I was told as a child that I blew people’s minds by what I noticed, felt, and understood.

We ALL are surrounded by death from the moment we are created. How much we choose to notice, or are tuned-into is what varies from each of us. Sure, some are people we never knew. Some are close, and some just happen to be somewhere near our own little world. IF you wish, you can google lists of those who have died in your own lives. For me, the list is quite long. I Do not recall at exactly what age I was conscious of what exactly death was, but I know I learned and began to undertand it from the moment I was created.  I know that from the age of three, I DID ask why people were so weird about it. My parents were a bit surprised that I grasped what death was, and asked how I knew about it. I explained how many people had died that we knew, or knew of. They asked lots of questions about what I understood. I seemed to think it was weird that I knew about more deaths in our city than they did. I told them how I felt the deaths.

By the time I was five, I freely told people why I hated wars, and why I would never join the military. I do not like the idea of looking for conflict, and looking for reasons to kill others. I understood early how people joined militaries because they enjoyed conflict, and wanted a reason to kill others. Then they would pretend to be shocked and upset that they actually killed others. I never bought their excuses, and never pretended to either. I told them how they went looking for conflict, and they found it. I would tell them that no military exsits to create peace, and the only reason militaries exist is for war. People who join any military are doing it for conflict, killing, and to be more powerful than others. Death is part of military life, and when those who freely join seem shocked that they killed others, to me this is not a good excuse to pretend to be shocked. Yes, I totally understood the difference between those forced to join, and those who voluntarily joined. But even, so, Nobody joins any military with the impression it is for peace, or could claim to be shocked they had to kill someone.  

By the age of nine when Elvis died, I was not at all shocked. Yes, I knew who this famous person was, and listened often to his songs. I knew plenty about death by then. There were plenty of deaths in my life prior to that, and I remember asking why people were acting so strange about his death. So many told me “because he was famous”. Well, to that, I asked, “Isn’t Every Life Equal?”

I have learned that people do really weird things when a death happens. People do not understand how a soul, a spirit works. This, too, baffles me. Because I have always been tuned-in to what a living-being is, I had thought everyone understood this. But in life, I also have learned that the things that baffle me, also baffle others in different way. For each thing each of us understands, there is something we do not. 

Death, souls, spirits, and life are some of the things many do not, and never will understand. I do. No, I am not boasting, or saying I am better than anyone in any way. I am simply aware of what I grasp. This is one area of life I was gifted with that others were not. Each living being is gifted in different areas. That is what makes each of us all the more important in others’ lives. We must all join together to help each other learn, understand, and survive. My areas of strength are often the same areas that isolate me from others. So many people do not understand my strengths, and it scares them away. So many see my reaction (or more importantly- lack of reaction)- when a death occurs, and it makes them push me away, instead of them coming closer to learn more about how they could better understand what death is.

How does any of this have anything to do with my recent walks? Well, last night, I got an answer to one of my own ponderables that has perplexed me for the whole time I have lived in Vegas. Last night I decided to go for a walk through Sunset Park. From the very first time I visited Sunset Park three years ago, I have gotten an odd-feeling about it. Much like so many places in Vegas that are called “nature” it is hardly something I feel fits “nature”. Nature, to me is not sports-parks, bright lights, concrete, and man-made. To me, nature is a place where the earth is free, not built by man, and the vegetation, animals, and spirits are free to be as they would without man-forcing their own upon it. Sunset Park, to me from the moment I entered it should be Called “Sunset Memorial Park”.  I heard all about how this park had a lake, had lots of nature, and was a great place to escape. The very first thing I noticed when I got there was a feeling I could not place. It was a kind of eerie-un-resolved spiritual conflict. To me, it felt much like a mausoleum, modern cemetery, or one of those road-side memorials.

I have visited Sunset Park many times, and each time, it has the same feeling of spiritual imprisonment, and conflict. Until last night, I could not place why it felt that way. Last night, it hit me. What I noticed last night, was not what I could see, but rather what I could not see. The entire park recently had a complete renovation. What I noticed last night was the lack of what I thought so odd the first time I visited. Three years ago, Every tree in the park had a memorial plaque at its base. Now that the renovation has been completed, many of the plaques have been removed. (Whether removed just by accident as machinery re-shaped the ground, or by choice I will never know.) I also noticed many of the older trees had been removed, and many new ones were added. The new lighting, the concrete paths, and the way the park is now made, is a complete conflict, and has absolutely nothing resembling nature. It screams of man-made, removing all that is natural and free, and purposely placing what this culture wants to call “nature”.

This brings me to why Death is a topic today. I recently noticed how our culture has changed. It used-to be that when someone died, they were buried in the earth, and the cycle of life continued. 

As death occurred, humans used to place the body in the Earth so it could give back, and add the nutrients it once received. Cemeteries used to be places where you could feel the energy of positive release of the spirit. Even before cemeteries, once a body was placed into the Earth, it was allowed to be absorbed, and become free. Often a burial took place in a spot the life had thrived. This was the cycle of life. Even those who were cremated, gave back to the Earth. When their body was burned, all that was solid became the air we breathe. Their ashes were spread, often in a place that person had loved, lived, and thrived.  Farmers often would bury their dead in their own fields, knowing that it would bring greater harvest the following year, and years to come. You can even go back further, and look at how our Natives used to do burials. They understood how the cycle was supposed to go. Death Gives life.

My friend Andrea recently visited upstate New York, and posted pictures of really old cemeteries. In her pictures, you could feel a freedom, a peace. Here is one of those from Her:

 

Yup, I stole this photo from Andrea! (She knows) :)

 It feels like a place where the bodies were freed, where they are not sealed forever. A place that is not sterile, but healthy, full of energy, and has free spirits.

When did our world begin to treat a body as if it was somehow something bad, something that should be sealed up, never to again rejoin the Earth, never to become nutrients, and give life? It was her photos that made me realize what was wrong in today’s deaths. Now when a body dies, it is sealed into box, and placed in a vault. Some are buried in the earth, and some are sealed into a concrete structure above ground. 

No matter where it is placed, it is placed in a way that it will never be free. It is placed in a prison, forever. I do understand why Cemeteries became common. We as humans have a need to group, categorize things. We as a whole feel we must have a place where we can call a “final resting place”. We also are lazy. Most people would not go to the effort to dig a hole to properly bury a body. The lack of proper-burial caused problems, and laws were created making it illegal to bury a body in the Earth. Some say that decaying bodies pollute the water and other places. The Earth is amazing in how it takes care of itself. The ground is a natural filter. The body is absolutley not toxic when reunited with the Earth in the right way. When a body is placed in the ground, it is reclaimed by the earth in a natural way. It only becomes a problem when it is encased in a box that suddenly allows all the decay to become free, and only then is it toxic. The old cemeteries are wonderful, because they still allowed the body to decay. You can feel the free-spirits, and rejuvenated life created from death in those places.

Now when a body dies, it is immediately sealed up, and forever held captive, never allowing it to be free, never allowing it to give back to the Earth it got life from. Each life we seal-up, and forbid to give back, depletes our Earth from all the nutrients it needs. Then, when the “catastrophe” happens (such as a flood, earthquake, or other event) which causes those sealed remains to open-up, we have sudden pollution, sudden toxic events, and sudden spiritual releases. These cause conflicts, which could have been causing peace many years prior.

Now, when people die, people flock to where the death occurred.  People go and make memorials in the place the death occurred, seeming to want to hold onto the death, instead of finding a positive way. Now people want to forever remain in this moment. People, Let the spirit go free, do not cage it. Allow peace to happen, not create conflict. Celebrate the life that had been. Treasure the love that was shared.  Why on Earth would you want to focus on the death, instead of where the person thrived, where life, love, and freedom occurred. These memorials created where a person dies is a cruel, selfish act.  It is saying to the dead, “I do not want to allow your spirit to be free. I want your spirit to forever be trapped in this moment that took your life.” When a life ends, we have a responsibility to embrace the life, not hold onto the death. 

Their death means they have done all they were supposed to do on the living side of this place we call Earth. Allow them to move-on, and continue as they need to in their spiritual journey. Caging a spirit will not bring peace. Seek peace, focusing on peace, embracing peace, you will have peace. Seek conflict, seek to hold onto death, and seek to embrace that place of death, you will always have conflict.

Now, back to why my walk through the park brought me to writing this today:

I have always felt that instead of these horrible memorials placed where a person died, you should do something positive to show that person you learned from their life, their love, all they gave. Do something in a place that will spread joy, free their spirit, and allow others to feel their love. One way I have always felt was very appropriate, was to plant a tree in their honor. Or you could do something as simple as take a picture of something they loved, and display it where others can see, feel, and enjoy it.

Well, here in Vegas, it is a common belief that people can do whatever they want. People believe here they can create their own reality. Vegas was created originally because people felt they could do as they pleased here, they felt there was no God here, and they could make things how they wanted. How people perceive “nature” here is a common example of this. Here, people have come to a desert, a place where “nature” is quite a different creature. But, they want to create their own version of nature, play God, so to speak.  To Vegas, nature means concrete, lots of harsh lighting, and water where no water would normally exist. To Vegas, nature is not what is natural, but what they can build and call their nature. Sunset Park is a prime example of this. Nothing you see in Sunset Park is natural here. It is all man-made, man-sustained, and as unnatural as could be. But this is what makes Vegas happy.

The first time I visited this park, I noticed all the memorial plaques at the bases of the trees. Last night, I noticed most of them were gone. I actually had to search to find any. I found a few. Some were buried and I had to dig them out to be seen. This one sums it all up quite well:

“Born of the wilderness, Free as the wind” … Harldy.

Last night I realized why this park always felt so much like a spiritual battle-field. Because it is. So, Yes, the people of Vegas did attempt to create a memorial using trees, and attempt to create a positive place to make the memorials, but they failed by forcing man-made creations and forcing “nature” where it would not normally be. For a spirit to be free, it must be how it would naturally. That is how sprits work. We cannot control them, nor create a place where we think they should exist. The creation of this park, plus the way it was recently renovated to make it what man wants, instead of embracing what nature provided, only created more conflict. What happened to the rest of the memorials that disappeared during the renovation? Simple: they were in the way of what man wanted, so they were removed.  Again, this falls into the category of why this park feels like a spiritual conflict. Because the humans were lazy, needed a place to group all their memorials together, and create nature in what they wanted it to be. None of these memorials was placed someplace a person had loved life, had found his/ her spiritual path, had taught others to be as free as the wind.  A memorial placed in a forced location, will always cause spiritual conflict.

Once I unearthed the above memorial, then looked around at how this park is made, it all made sense. This is what our world has come to. Today, people want something that is only what they create, not what The Creator has provided for them. Today, people do not want to embrace death, but want to create their own expectation of what that person’s life was supposed to be. When people say a person died too soon, they are being greedy, and had somehow convinced themselves they knew better how the Universe operates than The Creator. All the memorials that so harshly disrupt our land, at the place where a death occurred are creating spiritual conflicts. When did people decide they know more about life than our Creator? Why won’t people welcome and embrace all that is free for them to enjoy? Why do people not want peace?

This is how the park feels:

So much conflict, not natural...

I will never claim to be an expert about life and death. But If I have found peace, understanding, and acceptance of Death, don’t you think I might possibly have a grasp… even if only a tiny grasp? I learned early in life to find people who understood things better than you did, and pick their minds, their heart, and grow from their understanding.  I certainly do not yet grasp all there is to know about life and death… that is why I am still alive. None of us can grasp it all while we are on this Earth… on the living side of life.

I do know what causes conflict, what causes peace, and seek to learn more every day. How about you?  

Oh, and speaking of cemeteries: Why do people think they are morbid? Why do people feel death is scary? It is part of life. It is the cycle of life. 

I remember when I was 13, my Mom got a new apartment. I chose to go live with her.  I took the trash to the dumpster, one night at sunset. As I approached the dumpster, I noticed an old trail overgrown with ivy, and brush leading thru the dark forest. I set the trashcan by the dumpster and followed the trail, not bothering to tell Mom I was wandering off. Deep in that little forest, I discovered a pioneer cemetery. Yup, it was dark. But it was so peaceful, beautiful and filled with wonderful spirits. I felt the lettering on the moss-covered tombstones, and embraced how wonderful it was. It did not take long for Mom to realize I had not returned. She went to the dumptster and saw I had not even emptied the trashcan, but left it there. Of course she did not worry. Instead she asked herself what I discovered to do instead. She went back, got a flashlight, and looked around. She found the overgrown trail, and knew I had gone that way. She followed it, and came to the same place I was. She was not worried. She was happy. She knew me well enought to know I was safe, and found something wonderful to discover. That cemetery was so peaceful, and wonderful. it was like our own littel secret escape. We visited it often for years after that day. 

Care to take a walk through a cemetery with Me? You might just find peace :)

I Love Five Guys!

I Love Five Guys!

Haha, No, I do not have Five boyfriends… Nor do I even have one!

This is one of those statements that could easily be taken slightly out of context from how I intend it.
Any way you wish to interpret this, have fun with it. Although I guess in all fairness, you could look at a guy, and think "Where's the Beef?" That is Not the kind of beef I seek. The Five Guys I happen to love is actually a Burger-Joint.

In 2005 when I ended –up in Charlottesville, Va, I found myself in a brand-new world. I was in a place where everything I ever found comfort in did not exist. I was starting all over. One of those challenges was to find a feel-good place to get a great burger.

When I found Five Guys, I was not exactly looking for a burger-place, but one found me! I was exploring a shopping-center to see what stores were around. I also was hoping to find a bite to eat at the same time. I stumbled upon The Five Guys, and instantly knew I had found what I needed. The Five Guys was not a front-and center feature in the shopping center. It was actually tucked into a fairly secluded and almost dark back corner. There was a brightness emerging from the windows of the otherwise hidden and dark nook. Above the windows was red block-letter sign that only said “FIVE GUYS Burgers and Fries”. There was nothing to say exactly what this place was, but the bright red and white décor was inviting, and felt energetic. Inside, I could see that is a busy, comfortable, relaxed, but not overly crowded place. I drove past two more times just to be sure. I was definitely drawn to this place… although I was still not sure what kind of food they served.



I parked, and walked toward the place. As I walked in, I could tell it was not some crappy burger-place. I also could tell I had found exactly what I needed. As I entered, I was immediately filled with feel-goods! The energy, sights, smells, and feel of the place was very positive, happy, energetic, friendly, and comfortable. The place was sparkling-clean, with vivid bright red, and stark-white tiles, lamp fixtures, and décor. As you enter, you see large open boxes of peanuts in shells, and a sign inviting you to take a handful, and even
throw the shells on the floor. (I would later discover the sign on the door that said “If you are allergic to peanuts, do not even bother to enter. We use peanut-oil, and have open peanuts all over the place.”)

Then you notice how the line for ordering is formed… stacks of huge sacks of fresh potatoes in the red and white Five-Guys labeling form a dividing “wall” between the line and the tables.

The menu-board shows they simply do only three items… Hamburgers, hotdogs, and fries. But you quickly realize there are endless possibilities and selections. They make every burger, hotdog and fry fresh-to-order, and make it exactly how you ask for it. They never have pre-determined toppings… it is the customer’s choice. Every employee greets each customer, and they happily cook your order right in front of you! There is nothing hidden, and that is part of the appeal that makes it so comfortable. They happily add each item you wish to have on your dog, or burger, and they always make them accurately.

The Burgers are always fresh, juicy and perfect! (The sign says, “We always cook all of our burgers well-done.”) The Hot Dogs are grilled, not steamed, and are done to perfection! The fries come in two choices… Regular, or Cajun. They are fresh-cut, complete with the skin, and fried in peanut oil… fresh hot, crispy, and delicious! (a “small” order is waaay larger than you might imagine.)
Once you place your order, you start to look around some more. You grab a handful of peanuts, throw the shells on the floor, and eat some while you watch all that is going on around you. You notice all the wall-decorations are copies of articles written about Five Guys!

One of hundreds of quotes, signs, or articles inside and about a Five Guys

There are food-magazines, travel-magazines, local newspaper reviews, ratings about where different food-establishments rank compared to their competitors. There published articles showcasing the history, growth, and story of how Five Guys started. There are letters written from the community. There is a cork-board where you can add your own index-card-comments, drawings, or other musings. There are pictures, stories, and wonderful feel-goods related to community involvement, and outreach. The place is focused on the positive. The employees actually seem to enjoy their jobs. The customers are happy. So, while you eat your peanuts, look at all the fun all around you, and listen to the people cooking your food, you hardly notice that any time at all has passed. It is easily five to ten minutes from when you order, until your food is done. This is not a bad thing. You see how each customer’s order is cooked fresh, and you even see all the work these employees put into the detail of adding each topping as ordered to each item. The atmosphere is hardly one where you feel like your time is wasted.

Some of the best things come in plain
brown bags!

Once you get your order, you have been soaking in all the wonderful feels about this place, and then the real joy begins! The food is handed to you in an over-flowing brown-bag. They place your burger, or dog, wrapped in foil in the bottom of the bag, then they add a cup of the fries you ordered. Then they pour tons of loose fries on top to over fill the bag. You take your food to your table, and it is almost as wonderful as Christmas!

As you unwrap, and dig-in to your treats, it is both satisfying, and fun! You know from the very first fry you gobble down that these are the best fries you have ever had! As you unwrap the foil around your meal, you see, and smell how fresh, juicy, and delicious it will be. Then you bite into it. You have just found burger-heaven!



After that first visit, I knew I had found the absolute perfect burger-joint!

The next day at work, of course, I told my coworkers about my joy. As the new-comer to town, I expected that I was spreading old news. Surprisingly, none of my coworkers knew what Five Guys was! I was mortified that they had not already explored this. I began to go to Five Guys often, and share my joy with everyone who would listen. It did not take long before the word got around, and my coworkers started going, too! Then I started working at more than one Dominos, and I shared this joy with those people, too. It was always the same story… they had seen it, but never knew what it was, or ever considered trying it. It never took long to get more people interested, and also for them to become regular customers.

Over the next two years in Virginia, I converted many people to Five Guys Lovers. I was also pleasantly surprised when my managers, or even the owners of the company started giving me Five Guys Gift Certificates! My love of Five Guys was well-known by any who were around me in Virginia.

As I enjoyed Five Guys, I also continued to learn about their history, and geography. They were an East-coast company. I enjoyed many different Five Guys locations as I traveled around various areas of the upper-east Coast region of The US. Then in 2007, I found myself in Oregon again. I really did not grasp how important Five Guys had become to me, until I realized there were none anywhere on the West Coast! Finally, over a year later, I discovered one had just opened in Beaverton, Oregon! That was October, 2008. I immediately went to see if it was the same Five Guys, or a completely different thing, which happened to have the same name. As soon as I entered, I knew it was the same Five Guys! It did not take long until I was spreading the word to those in the Portland metro area about my love of this place. In the next few years, they also opened several more around the Portland Metro area. Also, while in Oregon, I discovered many wonderful street-vendors who truly understood what made burgers and hotdogs great! So, I was never far from any decent place to get a great burger, or hot dog.

Bacon and Mushrooms seem to bulge out of a Five Guys Hot Dog Bun!

In February of 2011, I moved to Las Vegas. Once again, I found myself in a brand-new world, with none of my old-favorite comfortable, happy burger-spots, or hot dog spots. I was very disappointed that the Vegas scene really does not understand good burgers, or hot dogs. It seemed that everyone who mentioned any place they considered a good burger, or hot dog only confirmed that the Vegas people really had never had a great burger, or even a good hot dog. Everyone in Vegas wants to promote the Chicago, or New York Style… But not a single one understands good old-fashioned American Hot Dogs and Hamburgers. I found that in Vegas, you pay extremely high prices, but get lousy food, and even worse service. They seem to want to sell a name, or the real estate the place sits on, but do not feel that creating a wonderful meal is worth their effort. And food carts? Forget it! There are no real food carts in Vegas! (They need to visit Portland to see how it is done properly!) I tried every burger place and hot dog place I could find. I got sick of wasting twenty bucks for a lousy burger, or dog! I searched the web, the news papers, and the phonebooks to hopefully find someplace that understood what a good Dog, or Burger was all about, without the exorbitant price just for a location, and a lousy meal.

In March I did see a Five Guys in quick passing. I was driving Anita somewhere, and the destination we were headed to was the important mission of the day. I saw a sign for a Five Guys. The part of town I was in was totally unfamiliar to me, and I actually had no idea where I currently was, or how to find it again. After that day, I searched and searched to hopefully find it again. I knew I had seen it, but I could not find it listed anywhere, nor could I find anyone who knew about it. I had almost given up hope of finding a great burger in Vegas. Then in September, I saw a one-line mention of Five Guys in a neighborhood newspaper. There was a Five Guys “in my neighborhood” according to this paper. This newspaper listed different food establishments within the surrounding neighborhood. This paper only mentions the street the places are located on, but not actual addresses. This “surrounding neighborhood” mentioned encompasses about six-square miles, and the street named also happens to run the whole length of town, so it would be another challenge to find this supposed Five Guys. I looked online again, and in the phone-books. No place were any Five Guys listed in Vegas.

The Five Guys Sign is not exactly obvious...
But I spotted it from the moving bus!

Finally, in October, 2011, I stumbled upon that Five Guys tucked into a small strip mall! As I went past on the bus, I recognized the street name and at the same time caught a glimpse of the long-ago familiar sign that is Five Guys. I got off that bus, and walked back to it. It was definitely just like the original one I had discovered so long ago in Virginia. It was almost hidden, and just waiting to be discovered. As I went inside, I felt old-familiar feelings surrounding me! By this time, I had also given up hope of finding polite, happy people in Vegas. That stop at Five Guys changed that for me! No matter how rude the Vegas people are, somehow Five Guys managed to find kind, happy, considerate people. I decided that if I ever need to find a new job in Vegas, I would go work at Five Guys.



I had finally found the Five Guys again! While talking to the manager, I learned there are indeed two others in Vegas! There was actually one other in Vegas, and one in Henderson. That explained the one I had passed when driving Anita in March! We went through Henderson, and I had no idea it was not Vegas! Since October, I have visited Five Guys many times. I still try other burger, or hot dog places every time I find one that looks promising, but I am still always disappointed.

I guess my love for great Burgers and Hotdogs has made it so I am very picky about what I would consider worth my money and time. I was taught early in life to appreciate the things that make me happy, and at the same time, seek quality, and expect great service. But there are some things I refuse to compromise on. Food is one of those areas. I refuse to pay for crappy service, and lousy food. If I am gonna get that, I might as well go to a cheap casino, and get a 99-cent hot dog. At least there I am not ripped-off, and actually get better service than I would expect for a buck. But so many Vegas places want to charge beteween 12 and 20 bucks for a lousy burger, and the workers act like they can be rude, because they cater to so many tourists, they assume they will never see those customers again. (And sadly, that attitude guarantees the customer would never return.) It does make me sad that so many people in Vegas are willing to compromise quality for some supposed famous name, or piece of real estate, instead of actually seeking a quality meal, friendly service, and a wonderful value all at the same time. At Five Guys, you get Excellent Service, Wonderful Food, and a Great Value! A Loaded Burger, or hot dog, and an insane amount of fries will not even cost ten bucks ata Five Guys!

I am happy to have finally found the Five Guys again, and will let everyone who wishes to listen know how wonderful they are.

I am not at all ashamed to admit “I LOVE FIVE GUYS!”
I leave you with a close-up of the Five Guys Cajun Fries.... Please do not Drool on the picture. ~=:-)

September 11. What do You Remember?

A Hand Touches A Piece of The World Trade Center

9/11 Ten Years Later:


Today marks the ten-year “anniversary” of the terrorist attacks on The U.S. Almost everyone who was older than 5 can recall exactly what they were doing, where they were, and who they were with when they heard, or saw what was happening. Many controversies arise out of even the mention of that day. Opinions, views, and feelings range wider, and sometimes more violently, than even the most heated religious, political, or even race issues.

I have mixed feelings on this “anniversary”, and I am sure I am not the only one who does. Just like on that day back in 2001.

In many ways, I wish everyone would find a positive way to move forward, instead of recreating the suffering over and over. I do not understand why many want to take themselves back to something so horrible. I have this view on anything miserable, not just That Day in 2001. I KNOW the past is what shapes our future. I know events make us what we are today. What I have never understood was the need to constantly revisit, and relive the event. Live the life you are in, grow, and learn from what has passed. Embrace, and even use to make your world better the things that were not good in the past. Perhaps that old saying “Misery Loves Company” would be best re-written as “Misery Loves Miserable Company”. It seems for those that want to be miserable, they always want to surround themselves with others in the same misery. If they feel alone, they want to create a misery for others to join them in theirs. Why would anyone want to live in misery? Why would you not want to move away from those who want to recreate the misery from years ago?

I could not have wished for a better friend to be with, than the one that was with me when this happened. To me, the events of Sept 11, were not just one day, but a whole week. I was on vacation with Aimee’, and her daughter Baillie. Every day of that vacation is, in my mind, connected to 9/11. Aimee’ is one of a few long-time friends I love dearly, and could easily travel with. We were comfortable with each other, and could easily be ourselves. Baillie was, I think, 4 at the time. We loaded up my car, and drove from her place in Washington, to spend a week in Sunny California. We had arranged to spend time with many of her family, and had plans to visit many of the wonderful attractions in the San Jose, and Santa Cruz region. We were enjoying her family, and I was meeting many of them for the first time. We had planned almost every day to spend with different family members, and doing different events and attractions. The first stop was Danielle, and Gabriel’s place in the Santa Cruz Mountains. This was to be our home-base. That day I also met Shawna, Lauryn, and Robyn…some of the most wonderful people! To me, they were not like most people’s family… these I actually enjoyed, and wanted to visit with. And they accepted me, and I even felt welcome, and comfortable around them.

Shawna enjoyed church, and Saturday evening, she timidly invited us to join her at the service the next morning. She had seemingly been rejected by others for this sort of invite. Aimee’ and I were Both really happy to accept the invite. Surprisingly, the next morning, many of her family joined us at church. The service was good, enjoyable, and fulfilling. I enjoyed Shawna’s company, and looked forward to getting to know this wonderful human Aimee’ spoke so highly of. We all made more plans to spend more time in each other’s company. The week’s schedule was full, but there always seemed to be room to squeeze-in a little more!

That was Sunday, the 9th. We headed through the beautiful Santa Cruz Mountains to explore the area. I spent many days in these mountains as a child, and driving through the wonderful California Redwoods, and Cedars was taking to me to a great happy memory-place! On the way back through the mountains, we came across a little place that had carved statues made out of the local trees. It was the home, and workshop of a spirited old man. This was his income, and obviously his love, too! I loved the creativity, and detail This man put into his carvings. I totally fell in love with a carved bear. We left without buying anything on that visit, but we knew we would be back.

The next day, Monday the 10th, we ventured into the heart of San Jose to spend some time with Aimee’s Grandparents. These were her Dad’s parents. The drive over the mountains was slow, winding, and could even make the most solid of people a bit queasy. Shortly after leaving the mountains, and we were on the freeway, we noticed Baillie was extremely quiet in the back seat. About the same time we turned to see why she was so quiet, the smell hit us! She had gotten car-sick, and she was sitting in a pool of vomit… her lap and carseat were filled! It was all we could do to not puke, ourselves. I found an exit, and we pulled-in behind a carwash to take care of Baillie, and the mess. I am sure anyone watching would have thought it was the funniest scene ever! Here, was a poor little scared girl, soaked in her own vomit. Aimee’ and I were both trying not to puke, ourselves, so we were having to take turns attempting to clean up. First, was Baillie: She did not miss an inch of herself. She managed to cover every stitch of clothing, fill her shoes, and it was even in her hair! The only option was to strip her completely. We first attempted to clean her up with the baby-wipes, and a couple towels. That proved to be inadequate. We asked the carwash attendant if there was a hose we could use. He had seen our attempts already, and was quick to provide one. So, here was Baillie, butt-naked, getting hosed-off in a parking lot. We really tried not to laugh, but it was just so funny! We had only planned to spend an afternoon with Aimee’s grandparents, so we did not have much with us in the way of extra clothes. The only thing we had for Baillie was her swimsuit. We took turns cleaning out the car, and dismantling the carseat, hosing off all the parts, and attempting to put it back together. The carwash attendant gave us some more towels to use. We managed to get enough cleaned-out that we could travel the rest of the way. We had to keep the windows all rolled down because of the smell.

Once we were at her Grandparents, we gave Baillie a bath, then we all went to the pool, and relaxed a bit. Afterwards, I finished cleaning out the car, and we laundered all of Baillie’s clothes, her carseat cover, and all the towels. We all went to dinner, and Her Grandparents wanted us to stay the night. We had not planned for this, and had no extra clothes, or bedding. Her grandparents had not seen her in a very long time, and really wanted us to stay. We decided to stay the night. We set-up bedding on the living room floor, and at bedtime, we each wore one of grandpa’s large t-shirts to sleep in. I gathered all of our clothes, and put them in the laundry, so we could have clean clothes for the next day. They had cuckoo clocks. Hundreds of Cuckoo clocks, grandfather clocks, swiss clocks, and any other kind of clock that made funny sounds at varying intervals during the night. We did not sleep very solid, and found ourselves giggling, and grumbling every time one would go off during the night. Finally morning rolled around.

It was Tuesday, Sept 11th. Today, we had planned to meet-up with Shawna, and go to Great America Amusement Park. We were not in a hurry, because the park did not open until 10. I got up first. It was not early, and we had lounged lazily all snuggled in the bedding. We were not eager to get up, because we had not slept much with all those clocks, and it was not often we just lounged, and snuggled. (And Aimee’ was never eager to get up early.) I transferred our clothes to the dryer, and went to shower. Aimee’ and Baillie stayed snuggled in the bedding. It was not very long before Baillie was trying to get me to hurry up and finish showering so we could take her to the amusement park she was excited about. Baillie was excited to get to go on roller coasters, and other rides today, and knew the sooner she got me out of the shower, she could get her mother in, and we could get going. When I got out of the shower, her grandparents had gotten up, and Baillie was having a ball with them, and talking about how much fun it would be at the amusement park. Aimee’ headed to the shower, and I started to gather our things, and get our clothes out of the dryer. While her Grandma was making some breakfast, her Grandpa turned on the TV to watch his morning programs. I was in the laundry room, and heard him grumbling at the TV. I did not pay much attention to what he was grumbling about. Then I saw him flipping channels, and heard bits of the same thing on each channel. I heard “Plane Crashed into The World Trade Center”. He was still grumbling about not being able to find his programs. I asked him to stop for a second. The First Image I saw on the channel he stopped on was a human jumping out of a smoking building that was incredibly tall in New York. I took the remote from him, and just sat watching in wonder, and trying to grasp exactly what I was seeing, and what had EVERY single channel on the same subject. Her Grandpa was still upset about his programs being interrupted, and did not grasp what was being broadcast. Baillie came and sat right next to me, not saying a word. I held her. Grandma stopped making breakfast. Grandpa Grumbled. When Aimee’ came out of the shower, she could tell something was different. She came and sat next to me, not saying a word, we held each other. Then we both looked at each other, and said “We need to pray for whoever Did This!” We both were on the same path at that time in our lives, and we both understood how those who would do such things to others were the ones who really needed God’s Love. We Prayed.

After a while of just watching what was happening, we ate breakfast, and kept watching more of the news. The news made it clear that almost any large event, or place where large amounts of people could gather would be closed. We called Great America to see if they were open. The recording told us they were closed. We had an anxious four year old that we needed to find something positive to fill up the day with. After a while of searching, we found a small amusement park that was indeed open today. This was Happy Hollow. We Called Shawna to make sure she knew our plans had changed. She was not interested in joining us at Happy Hollow, and I did not blame her one bit. We would all see one another later that evening. Driving through San Jose to Happy Hollow was very surreal. I grew up in San Jose, and was very used to the hustle, and crowded streets. Today was different. The Streets were empty. There were a few vehicles, but it felt like the city was vacant. Every office building, every government complex, every industrial facility was empty. The Airplanes were not flying. The airport was still. Occasionally we saw a few other vehicles on the roads. As we went over the freeways, they were empty. Occasionally we saw one or two people out and about. But mostly it was freakishly quiet. We joked about having missed the rapture.



Baillie at Happy Hollow

When we pulled into the parking lot at Happy Hollow, we found only a few other vehicles there. We confirmed at the ticket booth that they were in fact open. Once inside, it hardly felt like a fun, festive, exciting amusement park. There were about two-dozen other people total in the entire park, including the employees. But we knew it would be fairly positive, and a good distraction for Baillie…and as it turned-out, a good distraction for us, too! We managed to enjoy the day, and find positive among what we knew was a horrible day. It was somber, but good at the same time.

That afternoon, we went back to The Santa Cruz Mountains. On the drive back, we saw many angry people with angry, vengeful signs in the windows of their cars, homes, and businesses. We did not find joy in the anger these people showed. Once we were back at Danielle, and Gabrielle’s, I took a nap, and Aimee’ got online. Aimee found a wonderful sign on the computer, and she printed out two copies of it to place in the car windows. It was an American Flag, which filled the whole page, and written in bold print across the entire flag, it said: “WE TRUST in GOD. PRAY”. I seldom ever put any kind of sign in my car windows, But I Eagerly put that one up!

That night, many of her family made plans to gather at a restaurant for dinner. We went also. Shawna rode with us. On the radio, we kept hearing about someone called “Bin Laden” that was responsible for the attacks on The U.S. A small town we drove through was named “Ben Lomden”, and we commented how those people are probably wishing they were not named that right now, because it was so similar to the name broadcast across the news. We passed the redwood carvings again, and I said I wanted to go back before we leave, to get a redwood bear. We all enjoyed a cheerful dinner, and each other’s company.

Much of the plans we had made were changed, or cancelled after Sept 11th. Our plans had changed, but we still managed to fill-up the week with plenty of activities. We explored much of the areas we had each known as children living around here. We found old-familiar stomping grounds, cherished old memories, and found new things to be excited about. We went shopping, (We were on a mission to find a specific pair of Sketcher’s Shoes for Aimee… and we found them, too!) And found fun places to eat (Wienerschnitzel!). The one thing we saw no matter where we went was the anger, and hatred people were showing toward the 9/11 events. When people would notice the sign in our car, they would stop the anger, and actually smile for a moment. We got many thumbs-up, and “Thank you-s” We did what we could to show our trust in God, and show that we knew it was not in our hands. Most of Aimee’s family was in the same path as we were. Share Love, Peace, and caring. Let God take care of the rest. We Did see plenty of Love, and caring, too, but we were always surprised at how much hatred was being shown. After a while, we stopped listening to the news, because it was not positive, and they were looking for reasons to promote anger.


On Friday, the 14th, We headed through the beautiful Santa Cruz Mountains to explore The Santa Cruz Beach and Boardwalk. I had spent many wonderful days here as a child, and could not wait to finally revisit this wonderful place, now as an adult. We got to The Santa Cruz Boardwalk, only to discover it, too was closed, and It looked and felt deserted. It was hard to tell if it was closed for the season, or closed because of 9/11. A few shops were open, and we walked the entire boardwalk, and enjoyed a few of the places. It was a gray, chilly day, so we could not exactly go play in the sand and surf. We ventured out along the Pier, enjoyed the fresh ocean air, ate some wonderful seafood, and found plenty of joy in the day. We spent a good portion of the day in the area, because We WERE AT A BEACH IN CALIFORNIA! Yippee! We would not waste that opportunity! We enjoyed the shops, food, and atmosphere. Late in the afternoon, the sun came out, but it was still chilly, so we did not go to the water. We even walked The Boardwalk several times, just to enjoy it… even empty, it was delightful!


Aimee' and Baillie at Santa Cruz

We found plenty of joy, and life-giving love in the events , and gatherings of her family. There were many gatherings, some road-trips just to go for a drive, and explore, birthday parties, and just good hanging-out. I had never before met a family of anyone that I actually enjoyed, and I wanted to spend time with. This was the only family I had every found that accepted me, welcomed me, and was comfortable. Saturday was our last day to visit, and relax, and there was a Huge gathering at the clubhouse of Aimee’s Grandma. This was her Mom’s mother, and all the family I had come to love was her Mom’s family, too! There was swimming, barbeque, and plenty of fun, games, and just good socializing. It was early in the day when the event was over, and one of the families invited us to come to their house for the evening. Shawna happily rode with us, and we all went over there for the afternoon. We were planning to head back home on Sunday Morning, so we enjoyed the afternoon and evening with the rest of this part of her family. We purposely took the road that would lead us to the wood-carvings on the way to Danielle and Gabrielle’s that evening. It was already closed for the night. I was disappointed.

Sunday Morning, we loaded the car, and got ready to head home. As we left, Aimee’ suggested we go out of our way so I could get my bear. It was out of our way, and I did not want to delay the trip home for my own desires. Aimee’ insisted. She knew how much that bear would mean to me. We went to the carvings-place. I picked the carved-bear that I loved the most, and inside his little shop, I also found some wonderful jewelry made out of Redwood! I found a Redwood Cross on a chain, that I also got. I also recall that Aimee’ was interested in some Redwood Cross Earrings… but I do not recall if she ever got them.

We drove home that day. When we got to Aimee’s place, it was late in the afternoon. We spent some time sharing the highlights of our trip with her mom, and then it was time to get myself home, and start the normal work week again.

The next Sunday, we attended our own church, after missing two weeks. During that service, The Pastor was talking about unconditional Love, and purposeful prayer. He referenced the events of 9/11, and commented on how he knew everyone was praying on that day. Then he asked the congregation how many people’s first thought was “We need to pray for those who committed these horrible acts”? Aimee’ and I were proud to put our hands up. A few others put their hands up, but the majority of the congregation looked around at each other and asked, “Why would we do that?” “Why would we pray for the people who did this, instead of for the victims?” The Pastor already knew what the response would be, and went on with his pre-planned sermon about “Loving your enemy”.

For quite a while after September 11th, 2001, many Americans embraced friendliness, got to know their neighbors, showed care, concern, and love toward others. It seemed that maybe those fateful days had actually been a wake-up call. It seemed that America might actually attempt to find some common-ground again. It seemed many walls, barriers, and divisions had been abolished. It seemed much of the population was eager to have peace.

Now, Here we are a full ten-years later, and everyone has forgotten to play nice. People find the goofiest things to fight about. Last week, I heard that the “Anniversary” event at Ground-Zero was limited on space, and the Fire-Fighters, and Police were told they could not attend. This caused a huge uproar. Those Fire-Fighters, and Police who had responded to the emergency in 2001 felt they had the right to be there. They were causing fights, and divisions among people to assert their right to be invited, and attend. They were acting like little three-year olds who do not get to play with a toy that another child has.

My question is this: WHY ON EARTH WOULD ANYONE WANT TO BE THERE?? I was in New York in 2005. I was not looking to find, nor even see anything to do with Ground-Zero. I Purposely had not even looked on a map to find out where it was. I wanted nothing to do with such a negative place. I stumbled upon it by accident. I was driving through Manhattan, and I could feel it. (I am tuned to many things most are not, but that is another story all by itself). I was suddenly so overwhelmed by the negative energy engulfing my soul, that I wanted out faster than was possible! (Anyone who has ever been in Manhattan knows traffic is not exactly swift, nor is there a fast route out.) I was engulfed in feelings of hatred, anger, fear, and evil. I could feel the energy of hundreds of angry souls. I could feel the energy of souls that had not found any final peace. I could feel the energy of hateful souls. There was absolutely no reason I would ever step willingly into such an angry, hate-filled place. I believe too many Americans want to keep that hatred alive, and fuel the fire of anger, rather than seek peace, love, and joy. I believe that too many people keep the anger alive, and refuse to use the loss toward something positive, and peaceful that will benefit their fellow human. I believe that when we lose someone, we should do things that the lost person would have wanted, so they can know their work is done, and their souls can be freed, instead of trapped in anger, strife, and disputes. We cannot change what has happened to cause us to lose lives of those we love. Holding onto it, and even fighting over it does not do anyone any good. Being kind, doing positive, and always doing so with the joy of the person we lost always brings good. As long as everyone is fighting over who should and should not be able to attend Ground Zero on any given “anniversary”, there will never be peace. I do not believe there should even be a “formal” event, or commemoration. I believe each person who wishes to recognize the day, should do so in their own way, in a private way, and in a way the lost ones would have wanted. I believe Gathering in the manner of an organized, formal event only further fuels the “Misery Loves Miserable Company”.

I have been in Pennsylvania, and while I was aware of the region where flight 93 went down, I would not purposely go visit that area. I have been in Washington D.C., and also was not seeking to go where the plane hit The Pentagon. When I lived in Virginia, it amazed me to no end, how the people re-enacted the major battles of The Civil War. (Often on the very same spots they had originally happened.) I have known many people who were victims of Hurricane Katrina, and Every year when that “anniversary” comes around, they behave horribly toward their fellow man, and they let everyone know why they are acting that way. They WANT to be miserable, and make others miserable because a calendar says it happens to be the same date as when some horrible event happened in their lives.

This does not make any sense to me. Why do humans wish to be miserable? Why would anyone want to re-invigorate the feelings ANY horrible event created? Why would they NOT want to find happiness, and grow from that pain, and suffering? They choose to keep going back to the horror. They want others to go back with them. I Understand the need to express the feelings of an event, and the need to explore why you have those feelings. Express those feelings, explore those feelings with the purpose of using what you discover to grow, move forward, and help others do the same. Sure, if someone can have a better understanding by hearing your story, Great! Please tell it. But tell it to help others learn, understand, and gain knowledge of what has made our world what it is now. Teach, and tell so that maybe one day people will actually want to stop this hatred on this Planet We Call Earth. Everyone says they want peace. But that is only what they say. If they really wanted peace, they would not fight. If they wanted peace, they would tell their story for the purpose of helping others to learn to not tolerate hatred, or violence of any kind. If they wanted peace, they would not fight about whether or not they got invited to an “anniversary”. If they truly wanted peace, they would take the fact that there was not room for them and say “Thank you. I had hoped to spend time teaching my grandchild about peace. Now I can do that, instead of fueling the fire of anger at Ground Zero.” But they would rather fight, and they want miserable company.

I am not in any way suggesting people forget what happened, or ignore the date. It is part of our history, and part of what makes us who, and what, we are today. We cannot erase, or even change the events that have happened in our lives, but we CAN move forward in a positive, healthy way… If We choose to do so. Or, we can hang onto the past, never move forward, and seek miserable people to be in our miserable company. We DO HAVE A CHOICE.

WHICH PATH DO YOU WISH TO TRAVEL?

Above, I posted a photo of The Bear, and Necklace. It reminds me daily to find hope, move forward, help others, and seek a positive path. It reminds me that “I TRUST IN GOD” and I PRAY. It reminds me that I have struggles, and I can dwell on those, or I can look for something positive. This bear reminds me of all the love, joy, acceptance, and care I found in Aimee’s family, and even though many of those people are not in my daily life, I still cherish the impact they made on my heart. An Impact that could have been destructive, considering the events of the week I met them, but they chose kindness, and love.

Two of my favorite bumper stickers.

September 11, 2001 was not just about the United States. That date will always be important around the globe.

On this date that will forever be on our hearts, souls, and minds, I Hope you can find PEACE, LOVE, and JOY. My Hugs, and Prayers are for you. May you Trust In God. Jon~=:-)