The Magic of (Nekkid) Campfires.
It is no secret that camping is one of the greatest ways to
let go of stress, barriers, and worries.
It also is no secret that spending time naked outdoors will
also do the same things.
Campfires are magical. Showering, or bathing, is magical.
Naked outdoors is magical.
Combine any or all of these together, and people are
automatically friendly, cheerful, and love to share that joy.
In the past, I have written about how wonderful outdoor
showers can be, and also how people tend to be more comfortable, relaxed,
accepting, and friendly when showering, or bathing in an outdoor area.
Seldom, if ever, will you find someone who is unpleasant
when they are naked outdoors… this is especially true around showers, or
campfires.
The experiences last week that made my birthday so wonderful
also reminded me of some of my favorite experiences from many years ago.
In August 2005, I literally was running away from life as I knew it
in Oregon. I was traveling across The U.S., and not exactly sure what I was
looking for. I really had no path, or direction I was headed, but was wandering
quite aimlessly. I was also suicidal at the time. I was searching, but had no
idea what it was I was seeking. I did not have much money, so every dime I spent
caused more stress. I would drive until I was so tired I was forced to stop and
sleep. Sometimes I just slept in my car. Other times, I would sleep on a picnic
table at a rest area. By the time I ended up in Massachusetts, I had been
running about two weeks, and had pretty much settled into a pattern of only
driving a short distance each day, then exploring the area, finding peace,
resting, and seeking places I could freely be naked. I also had spent the
previous year coming out of the naked closet. (You can see the blog about my
coming out of the naked closet here:
http://enterwithanopenmindorclosedeyes.blogspot.com/2011/09/coming-out-of-naked-closet.html
)
I was seeming to only find peace when I could also be without clothes.
Nature, it seemed, was where the answer was for my troubles. In the places
where I was forced to wear clothes, I also noticed were the places where the
thoughts of suicide also tended to dominate everything I did. Also, I noticed
that the way people treated me when I was not wearing clothes was always kind,
accepting, friendly, comfortable, and just plain honest. I had discovered that
was the root. Remove the clothing, remove the lies and deceit. So, I sought out
as many places each step of the journey as I could where I could be nekkid. I
did not necessarily seek places where there were no other humans, rather I
sought places of acceptance.
Without inviting others, or attempting to engage others, I
found that when camping, others were naturally friendly. I found that when
camping naked, others were even more friendly… not a phony friendly, but a
true, genuine friendly and nice. I found that I enjoyed life, and never
considered suicide while I was around these people. I found that in a clothed society, people would say mean things, and not be honest. In a naked camping society, everyone was nice. Even those who did not share the same views, would happily allow others to do as they wished, since nobody was ever being harmed.
This writing is not about the details of suicidal feelings,
but rather about the pure joy one can find by sharing magical moments with
others, helping others to discover, feel, and enjoy that feeling. While I
always feel good when I am in nature, and also when I am naked, these feelings
do not even begin to compare to that of helping others find joy, freedom, and
acceptance in this world.
When I was in Massachusetts, I was looking for a safe place
to stop for the afternoon, and night. I was along the coast, and extremely
disappointed, sad, and frustrated at how crowded every possible place to camp
was. Most were completely full, without a single space to be found. The few I
did find that had open spaces were so extremely expensive, I could not even
begin to entertain the thought of finding rest, peace, or even someplace I
could be safe. By the time evening came, I was frustrated, and ready to just
start driving to endless destinations again.
I was about to give-up, and just drive on through the night.
I headed in from the coast to find the highway out of that area. As I went down
the road, I found an old apple-orchard with an old farmhouse which had been
converted into a campground. It was primitive, to say the least. But the old
lady who owned it had a sign out front that said “Camp & Shower $12”. The
house was old, fairly run-down but at one time beautiful, and it caught my eye
as I went past. As I slowed to admire the old house, and imagine the history it
had seen, the small sign caught my eye. I drove past, then turned around
and came back for another look. From the road, you could not see where the
camping area was. It was clear that it was not a commercial campground, and it
had me curious. I drove past two more times, attempting to get a view of where
the camping was. For all I could see, it appeared there was not a campground. I
finally pulled into the driveway, and when I did, she came out on her porch to
greet me.
As I got out of the car, she chuckled, and asked how many
times I had driven by before stopping. This made me laugh, and I could tell
this was a safe place. Her plan was simple: give her twelve bucks, drive past
the house, and park anywhere in her orchard to camp. Her only rules were: Be
quiet. Don’t bother her. Respect others. I asked if nakedness was allowed. She
grinned a toothless grin, and said “When you see the bathroom, you will know
the answer.” From this spot on her porch, you could see around the house into
the orchard. Then she pointed through the orchard to what looked like a
screened-in tool-shed. Obviously if the bathroom only consisted of screening
for walls, nakedness was not an issue! The orchard was mostly empty. There were
about twelve other vehicles randomly about the orchard, and a few people
milling about in their own areas being quiet. It was a large orchard, so it really felt wide-open, and like you were alone, even though there were others there. A few had camp fires going. She
was safe, comfortable, and I knew this was the place I needed to spend the
night. I gave her twelve bucks, and she went back inside. As her screen door
closed behind her, she said “Thank you. Have a good night.” It was clear that
she was not the type to worry about a receipt, or any formalities normally
associated with campgrounds. I drove around the house, and found a spot to make
my camp. As soon as I got out of the car, I got naked! The other campers never
even gave me a second glance.
I went and checked-out the bathroom. It was elevated about
six-feet above the ground. This made it at the same level as the surrounding
foliage of the orchard. It had a small set of steps leading up to a screen
door. It was simple with a sink, a toilet, and a shower. There was one wall
inside the middle of the bathroom. It was the wall with the sink on one side,
with a mirror above it, and the shower on the other. The toilet had small
partitions on each side, but was open in front and back. The flooring was
wooden with open slats for the water to just simply run out. The pipes ran up
the wall. And that wall also served to keep the water from splashing toward the
sink, and toilet. But the four exterior walls were completely screen. This was
a wonderful bathroom! It was fairly secluded by the surrounding apple trees,
but still wide-open. It had the feel of a tree-house, since the walls were
wide-open, and surrounded by the treetops. It was hardly secluded, but it did
not matter. The toilet, with its small partition walls was not visible from two
of the sides, but from front and back was fully visible. It did not seem to
matter. This was a campground that clearly attracted those without feeling the
need for hiding.
I built a fire, set-up camp, had dinner, and relaxed.
Nobody was camped near the bathroom, so even though it was fully visible, it
also felt fairly secluded in the trees. Nobody paid any attention to when
people went to it, or what they did, or did not do in there. I saw many people
head to it, just as anybody would in any campground. Those who came by my camp
said hi, were nice, and did not care that I was naked. Just like any campground
would, there was a good mix of who was camping. There were singles, couples,
families, there were old, young, and in between. Not once did anybody act
creepy, or lewd about the possibility of seeing others showering, or using the
toilet. Nobody lurked outside, or made extra trips up there while others were
using it. There was respect, and acceptance.
As it got dark, most of the other campfires dwindled, and people
went into their tents, and campers. As they retired for the night, some made trips to the bathroom and shower. When it was almost completely dark, one
more car pulled into the orchard. They turned off their headlights, and just
drove through the orchard with their parking lights, so as to not disturb the
others too much with bright lights. This car drove slowly through, looking for
where they would set-up their camp. They came past where I was standing naked
by my fire. As they drove by, I could see little faces in the windows smiling
hugely at me. I knew that look. It was the look a child gets when they see a
naked person, and entertain the thought of possibly being allowed to run naked,
too! I could not see the driver, but I waved, and saw a hand wave back from the
driver. They parked and set-up in a far corner of the orchard.
When camping, I love to relax by the campfire, then after
dark, I will shower, and then go back to my fire, still wet, and drip dry next
to the warmth of the fire. I also will usually wait, so that there is not a
crowd at the bathroom. People tend to all head to the bathroom just after dark,
and just about the time they are climbing into their tents for the night. I
hate when there is a line for a shower, or other bathroom facilities. I like to
not be part of the crowd. This night was no different. Shortly after that car
pulled-in, it seems everyone headed up to the bathroom. There was a sudden line
for the shower, and toilet. I could never undertand the idea of standing in a line for the bathroom, or shower. Simply wait at your camp, then go up there when nobody was waiting. I also know that when many use the shower, it has a
better chance of running the hot water completely out. This gave me plenty of
reasons to just stay put for a while, carve my walking stick, enjoy the stars,
and the fire.
I kept my fire going. I could tell from the voices that the
car that had pulled in late was a mom and two young children. They were setting
up their camp with a flashlight. They were fairly quiet, and respectful of
other campers. They seemed to have done this before, and setting up while
others were settling in to sleep was not a problem for them. They were quiet,
but in the silence they could be heard occasionally.
The line for the bathroom had long since gone away, and the
last person who showered had been a while, so I decided it was my turn to go
shower. I wondered if the hot water would be lacking, but I was pleasantly
surprised! It was a wonderful, hot shower! I put on my sandals, and walked,
dripping and naked back to my warm fire.
 |
| This is not from that same campfire, but it shows the feeling and mood well. |
As I was dripping by my fire, a mother, and her two children
came by to use the rest room. I recognized those two grinning faces as the two
I saw go past in the car. When the mother said hi, I recognized the voice I had heard setting up her camp in the dark. They stopped and asked if after they
used the restroom it would be alright if they came and enjoyed my fire, too.
The two kids had been grinning the whole time, but not staring at me like I was
naked. I knew that grin. I know the look of people who have experienced the
wonderful feel of naked near a fire in a safe environment. We chatted a bit
more, and I found out they did not have any firewood. They were on their way to
shower for the night, and had expected to not be able to enjoy a campfire. The
mom told me she could tell I was safe, comfortable and friendly from the moment
they drove past earlier. They were completely comfortable, and felt very safe,
too. I said that they were more than welcome to join me, and I would happily
put some shorts on when they returned. The mom had never once looked at me as
though I was naked, until I mentioned I would put some shorts on. She then
looked demurely down at her feet for a moment. The daughter who was about 8,
tugged at her mom’s pant-leg, and looked at her with pleading eyes. The boy looked to be about 6, and he just
grinned the whole time. She smiled, looked at her daughter’s pleading eyes,
then said to her, ”Go ahead, ask.” The Daughter was now Beaming with pride, and
looked up at me, and asked if they would be allowed to be naked when they
joined me? I looked to the mom for an answer. She smiled big, and said, “Ever
since we first saw you naked, she has been wanting to ask if they could be
naked near your fire, too!” So I asked if she was alright with that. The mom
was very pleased that I would ask her about it. She said she was very alright with
it, and I could tell they were not trouble, and that the mom also had no other
intentions toward me. (One of the key obstacles I was always facing about my
new-found naked freedom was the way people had treated me in the past when I
was naked, and trust was a huge factor. The one thing I always held true to was
that I must feel totally safe while I am naked, or I will be fully covered in
clothes.) I said “Enjoy your showers. I’ll build up the fire.”
And almost as
fast as I had said that, the daughter was already naked! The girl picked up all
her clothes, stuffed them into her bag, and was already running to the
shower. She was happy to be naked! The
mom and I just died laughing! The son then looked to his mom, still grinning,
and asked if he had to take his clothes off. She told him it was his choice. He
kept his on until they got to the shower.
I walked over to where I had seen their campsite, and
gathered their chairs, so they could have seats around the fire. I built-up the
fire, and watched the night sky. When they had finished showering, they all
hurried to drip near the fire. All three were completely naked, and happy. The
girl looked so proud of herself. The mom looked pleased. She noticed their
chairs, and smiled. The boy stood close to the fire for warmth, but also made
sure to hide himself behind his chair so he was not visibly naked, but still
grinning the whole time.
I could tell they all had their own worries and struggles
they were battling in life, and I could tell the mom saw I had my own troubles,
too. We comfortably enjoyed the fire, and chatted easily, keeping for a
comfortable, light, and relaxed evening. The little boy was not talkative, but
content to just watch the fire. He hid himself for about ten minutes, but then
he seemed to forget about hiding, and just let the fire mesmerize him.
The mom was fairly shy, and did not seem terribly
comfortable being naked. She looked like she was not used to being so, and not
sure what to do. She was not sure where to look, where to place her hands, etc.
She was excited for her daughter, and you could see the joy as she watched her
daughter play free in a safe place. She asked me how I could be so comfortable,
and how come I never hid when they drove past. I told her some of my story, and
some of the road I had come down to find this freedom. She still was fidgety,
and looked a bit uncertain about something. I asked if she was comfortable
being naked, and she admitted that she had never before just hung-out naked.
She told me that her kids always used to when they were with her parents, but
that she never did. She said she could never keep her daughter from being naked
when the opportunity presented itself. Her son was always shy about being seen
by anyone, but loved the idea of naked. She said he usually just grinned about
it more than he ever really did it. He would happily be naked if he was certain
nobody would see him.
The little girl was the absolute happiest little girl I had
seen in a long time! She was so excited to be allowed to freely run around
naked, she would not (or could not) sit still! She told me how they used to be
allowed to play naked while they were at their grandparent’s house, and they
would pretend they were camping while they were there. She then said that the
grandparents had to move, and the new home did not have a yard, or allow
children to stay there. She looked a bit sad when she told me this, but then the grin resumed. She understood naked, and loved it! She never once looked at me like I was naked. She clearly did not
care whether I was naked, or not, but was thrilled to be allowed to be so herself.
It also was clear that it had been a long time since she had been allowed to
just run around naked. She had felt the joy and freedom before, and was once
again feeling what that incredible joy was!
She was getting really dirty while playing. She was totally
enjoying the feel and freedom of being naked outdoors. I can understand that,
too! There really is a feeling like no other than nature touching your bare
skin! At first the mom tried to have her stay clean after she had just
showered. But when the daughter said she would just go shower again, that made
her laugh.
The mom laughed, and said “Anything to be allowed to spend
more time naked, huh?” Then the mom turned to me, and told me the rest of how
she decided to be naked tonight. She ended up at this camping spot pretty much
the same way I had. She had promised to take her kids camping, but did not have
a lot of money, any firewood, or much more than a tent, sleeping bags, and
chairs to go camping with. It was last-minute decision, and they had not
planned very well. They had spent most of the day at the beach, and not thought
too much about finding a camp spot. By the time she was here, they were already
tired, dirty, and had almost given up the idea of camping. They ate dinner at
a fast food place closer to the beach. When she pulled in here, and inquired
with the lady, she was happy to find a place that was cheap, comfortable, had a
shower, and allowed kids, too! (I had not known that some of those I came
through did not allow kids.) But the lady at the house cautioned her that her
children might see naked people, and that the bathroom was far from private. At
this, her kids grinned hugely, and asked immediately if they could go naked.
The mom told them they would have to wait and see. Then as they pulled around
the house, and past the bathroom, they saw someone showering without any shame.
Then they came past my camp, saw me by my fire, and saw that I was comfortably
naked, and never tried to hide as they came near. She also saw that when I saw
the two little faces grinning, I gave a friendly wave, instead of doing
anything rude toward her kids. As they were setting up camp, she watched as
each person that went toward the bathroom reacted as they passed by me while I
was naked, and also how I reacted.
So she told her kids that it was safe, and that after they
had showered, they could be naked. She had planned to just let her kids be
naked after the shower, and would be at their own site, or just walking across
the orchard. The daughter kept asking the mom if she would get naked, too, and
she said she was not comfortable being naked. They saw me go to the shower, and
decided they would go after I was done. When the girl saw me come back to drip
dry by my shower, she asked her mom if they could do that, too. She told them
they did not have wood for a fire. The girl, said, “No, at His Fire!” The mom
decided her daughter had a good idea. That was when they approached me. She
said watching how proud her daughter was to have the courage to ask, and how
fast she stripped when she knew it was ok, and how I did not react in any weird
way, convinced her she needed to screw up the courage to give it a try. She
said she had planned to keep her swim suit on when she showered because it was
not private, but my naked freedom, and her daughter’s naked freedom convinced
her to shower without any covering. She said it was liberating, free, and even
fun to shower visibly and not worry about if anyone saw her. She still was not
sure she would come outside the bathroom naked, and had planned to put clothes
on. When she got out of the shower, and felt how wonderful the night air felt
on her wet skin, she did exactly what I had done… put on sandals, and went to
the fire to dry off.
After telling me all this, she realized she had actually
relaxed, and had forgotten to think about being naked! She stopped telling her
story, looked at me, and got the same grin her daughter had! Her son had fallen
asleep, mesmerized by just staring at the fire. I went and got a blanket for
her to put over him. She asked if I always spend the whole time camping naked,
or just when it is dark. I assured her that I would still be naked until it was
time to drive away the next day. The look on her face told the whole story: she
had discovered how comfortable and free she finally felt. She had no intentions
of putting on any clothes until it was time to leave. She then joined her
daughter on the ground, and enjoyed getting dirty with her. After a bit of
this, they both decided they were getting tired, and that they needed to go
shower again. She asked if I minded that her son stayed there while they went
to shower. I assured her it was no problem, and built the fire up again for
their return. When they came back they dried by the fire again, both grinning
hugely, and this time the mom did not look the least bit uncomfortable. They
gathered their bags of clothes, and the daughter carried those, while the mom
carried the son back to their tent. After she had gotten her son into his
sleeping bag, she returned my blanket, gave me a hug, and then went back to her
tent for the night.
It was not far from the ocean, and in the quiet night, I
could hear the surf. I woke at sunrise to the wonderful scent of ocean air. It
was chilly, the air was crisp, and the dew was glistening on every surface. My
fire had mostly gone out, but there were still embers. I built it up again,
while shivering slightly. The smoke hung low and filled the orchard. The sun
was just coming over the horizon, and its warming glow first made all the smoke
glow brilliantly orange, and the orchard looked like a magical story-land! I
heard the little girl exclaim from the other end of the orchard, “Mom! Look!”
The Boy said, “Woooooow!” The Mom said “Yup! This was the right place to camp
last night!” Other campers could be heard unzipping their tents, and commenting
on what the little girl had alerted them to, then retreated to their tents
again. Just as the sun’s warming glow reached into the orchard, it reached
every single drop of dew and the orchard looked like it was lit with thousands
of tiny lights. The smoke still hung low in the orchard. The little girl came
running over, still naked, smiling, pleased, and happy. She did not even say a
word, just looked as content and comfortable as can be. She was soaking up the
fire, the sun, and all that was safe and wonderful in this magical morning.
The
mom, and son walked over with a little less enthusiasm. The mom was still
naked, too, but sometime during the night, the boy had put his pajamas on. They
both looked content, and also stood by the fire, a tad more groggy than the
girl. Once the fire was going, I started the water heating for coffee. None of
them said a word, and I was not concerned one bit. To me, this is a perfect
morning camping. Get up naked, shiver a bit in the morning air, get the fire
going, warm your cold parts by the fire, smell the smoke, and morning air, watch the morning come to life, get some coffee, and then the brain will
start to form words.
I did not even ask, but made two cups of coffee, with
creamer, and handed one to the mom. She just looked like this was the most
perfect camping trip she had ever taken. After having some coffee, she looked
at me, smiled, and said “Thank You”, then gave me a hug. The little girl took
advantage of that moment, and joined the hug, and then quickly retreated like
she was not there, but her grin was huge, and she was so incredibly proud of
herself. I went to shower before there was a line. They stayed by my fire. While I was showering, several others came and went from the bathroom. One lady waited for her turn in the shower. When I came back, I did the
usual drip dry by the fire. Then I started breakfast. The girl and boy looked
again excited, and looked at their mom when they saw I was mixing pancakes, and
cooking bacon. I smiled at the mom, and she knew I was planning to make enough
for everyone. The girl asked her mom if they could have some, too, and the mom
teased her and said, “Only if you put some clothes on.” The girl thought about
that for a second, then said, that she would just skip breakfast. Ha! Her love
of naked was more important than bacon and pancakes! Her mom thought that was
pretty good. Then the girl said “I am not putting clothes on until we leave
this campground.” Smart kid! :)
The mom told me they had just planned to find a restaurant, so this was a pleasant
surprise. She told me they were heading back to the beach, and then home. Then
she asked where I was headed. I really had absolutely no idea, and that is what
I told her. After breakfast, they all went to the shower, and I took down my
camp. After the shower, the boy put clothes on, but the mom and girl stayed
naked. They saw that I was dressed, and my car was fully loaded, and knew I was
leaving. They each came and gave me a hug, and thanked me. I thanked them, too.
The mom told me to have a safe journey. I told them to always find the joy, and
freedom whenever possible. Then they walked to their camp, and I drove away.
I wish I could say that after leaving that camp, I kept
going on a positive path, but I did not. I will save those details for another
post.
That magical night naked at the campfire was one of many
incredible moments in my life that I will always treasure. I do not get to
think of these moments often enough. But this past birthday was so very
similar, and so many of the same feelings resurfaced that I just had to get it
written, and posted! Those people and that place made such a huge impression on
my heart. …but sadly the events that followed took away some of the things I
wish I could remember… such as their names, where they called home, etc. I am
always horrible with names, anyhow, but it really tears at me when someone, or
many someones, are so important in where my life has gone, or what has impacted
me so much, that I can still clearly see their faces, and hear their voices,
but cannot put a name with them. (I do recall that I think the mom's name was Sara, and the girl's name was Emily, but I really cannot be sure, so will not say those were their names.)
But even without being able to recall their names, I will
always have that joy. This is the joy that fuels me, and makes me who I am. The
joy to be able to share a safe, comfortable place. The joy of seeing a person
overcome their own fears, knowing I am a trusted, caring person who they can
relax around, and discover new freedoms… or rediscover long-lost freedoms. The
feeling of knowing how much that night meant to that little girl, that mom, and
that little boy. How much it meant to me. The feeling of knowing that I could
not have planned, or even made such a thing happen on my own, and knowing that it was just meant to be, and all I needed to do was to
follow where I am lead. The joy, of knowing that when I thought I was at my
most miserable, I was able to be exactly what those people needed. I was just doing what I was meant to do, and going where
I was meant to go. And the irony of what I was doing, and where I was headed that surrounded this night does not escape me. I stopped being suicidal just long enough to make a difference in someone else's lives. That is the beauty of it... when we stop the selfishness, the good just flows!
That is what drives me. That is what gives me the passion
for others that I have. That is what makes me get up and live every single day.
I have said many times before, and I will continue to say
it:
I do not write these blogs necessarily for anyone else to
read, or for the glory of having known anyone has read them. I write them
mostly for my own outlet. For finding a way to put into words my feelings,
thoughts, and all the other things that flow through my mind. To me, it is a
creative outlet, and also a kind of therapy to sort through, and express what I
am feeling.
If my writings reach even one person who found something
that they can connect with, or relate to it is more reward than I ever could
have asked for. If my writings help even one person find hope, understanding,
or acceptance, that is more reward than I seek. Perhaps one person will see
something that they can identify with, and they find a healthier path to go
down because of it, then I am blessed beyond reward. Perhaps someone sees this
who knows someone who is struggling with similar issues, and can pass it along,
then I am rewarded.
IF you are one of those, I would love to hear from you. I really do not to hear from anyone, but if I should that would make me smile!I thank you for reading my writings, and spending a portion
of you valuable time reading what I have lived.
May You find the safe place near a naked campfire when you most need it. JOn~=:-)
In Vermont, one campground
had pit-toilets, yet had a large unisex shower-building, with no roof. This
shower-building was one large
open square concrete room with shower heads all around the walls. There were no
partitions, and not even a full set of walls. The concrete floor was moss-covered and had assorted leaves, twigs, and pine needles all over it. It was almost like the natural forest floor. The entrance was a large, wide
opening simply facing the forest, with no partitions to block it. Just one
wide-open square gang-shower for all to share at the same time. There were no
benches, or even an area that was supposed to remain dry. With no roof, and not
even full-walls, I expected cold water. I was surprised to find it had plenty
of hot water! It was unusual in how it was built.
Now, I ask you, What in Your Mind is "Pure"? Sure we all thought Vermont was "Pure". But some think "Naked" and "Vermont-Pure" could not belong in the same sentence. I guess ya gotta ask yourself why you would view simply pure nature as somehow not-so-pure. Have you ever allowed yourself to learn to live? I have ... But it took dying to learn to live. I Hope you find life before you die.
