Happy Thanksgiving!(or Living in a Tent..) HUH!?

It is Thanksgiving weekend…

But I am Thinking About Life in a Tent! :)

This was my home in the summer of 2009.
(before I got the protective tarps hung-up)
To the right is where My Hammock hung :)

I find it hilarious that I am choosing to write about the joys of having lived in a tent, rather than all the other things associated with Thanksgiving . But There really is a connection...

The reason living in a tent is on my mind, is because the temperature has finally gotten cool in Vegas.  I find it interesting that the Vegas temperatures in late November feel like the normal spring and summer temperatures in Oregon. The temps reach down into the forties at night, and in the seventies day time. I love the feeling and memories these winter temperatures are creating, just like when I lived in my tent in Oregon. I like the feel of the crisp, clean, cool air. I Absolutely love the feel of sleeping in the cold air, but completely snuggled-up in my cocoon of blankets. (I have written about My Favorite Blanket Here: http://enterwithanopenmindorclosedeyes.blogspot.com/2011/09/my-favorite-balnket-came-out-of-storage.html )  At the time I wrote that, I was still using my chair outside. Since then, I have had to retreat to the indoors. This is not so much because of the cold, but because of the fall-rains, and wind. I could not keep my chair, pillows, and blankets dry. I would much-rather still be using my chair on the balcony, but a wet, moldy chair is not at all comfortable. I now use my chair indoors, but keep the window open.

I sleep very soundly, and when it is cold all around, it is even better! I love the feel of the cool all around my wonderful cocoon. I live as much of my life as is possible completely naked. You would think that because I get cold easily, that naked would not be an option when the air is cool, and even down-right cold! For some odd reason, it is the exact opposite. I am funny like that.

Most people associate colder weather with needing to bundle-up, and even to sleep in more winter-like costumes. I learned early on in life that when it is cold, you actually can sleep warmer if you sleep naked. It is kinda funny how I learned this, but that is a story for another post.

Of course, I sleep nekkid in any weather, but when it is cold all around you, it is a feeling that cannot be matched in any way of connecting with nature. Even getting out of your warm bed, and into the sudden chill is not at all a problem. By sleeping so comfortably, the body is amply-warm, and when you instantly feel the cold, in helps in greeting the new day. I am still warm, but enjoy the feel of the cool morning air. Sometimes I will wear socks, and a hat. (Everyone knows that covering your head and feet are the best ways to preserve body-heat!) :)

In May of 2009, I chose to go and live in my tent. The reasons, and events which caused me to wish to live in a tent are numerous, and that is a difficult road to re-visit. Eventually, hopefully, I will be able to write about all that without getting too upset.  In short, the main reason I wished to live in a tent was for my sanity. Some of the tangles I had found myself entwined with had turned very bad, and I had to break those ties. The economy had turned, and I found myself working for the lowest wages I had in twenty years. I could not afford to get an apartment, and another roommate situation was not a good idea. Also, due to some of the events, I needed to be alone to sort things out.

 I was in Portland, Oregon at the time.  Portland is not known for having the best weather for living in a tent. I also found out that finding a place where one could legally live in a tent was almost impossible. I searched every possible place one could imagine, and found nothing but roadblocks. The designated camp-grounds were extremely cost-prohibitive. The few I found that were actually affordable had limits of only being allowed to stay for 14-days. Even the national forests, BLM Lands, and other such places, had limits on the few number of days you could stay. The permits needed were extremely expensive. Even the few I found where I could afford, they were extremely unsafe. If I had set-up, and then left to go to work, when I returned, all my stuff would be gone. So those were not an option. I needed to find someplace I could live that was safe, not terribly expensive, and I would not have to move every two weeks. It also needed to be fairly close to The Portland Metro area, so I could still come and go to work daily.

I finally decided to place an ad in Craigslist looking for a place I could safely live on someone’s private property. I made it clear about my values, need for safety, peace, and mutual respect. I got hundreds of replies. They all saw an opportunity for what they perceived as easy extra income. Sadly, almost every one of them was what I would consider an extremely unacceptable living situation.  I even had people trying to get me to pitch my tent in their carport inside trailer-courts. I was about to totally give-up, and go live in another bad roommate situation.

Then I got an email from Kelly. I could tell right away she was seemingly a good-fit to what I needed. We exchanged a few emails. I gave her the links to my online activity, and she gave me hers. We both decided this seemed like a good fit. We set a meeting to see if it was going to work for each of us. She was seeking a roommate, but needed someone safe around her daughter. She had property in the hills southwest of The Portland Area where there was plenty of space for a tent, but not crowded near anything else. I had to pass three tests once I arrived at her house: First was her dogs: Everyone knows animals can tell about a human’s true intentions. The Second was her Daughter: If I was in any way a threat, or made her uncomfortable at all, obviously I would not be a good fit. Third was her father: He lived at the adjoining property, and came to interrogate me. We all agreed it was a good fit.

Kelly tried to talk me into taking the room she had available, but I really wanted to be outside. She was fine with this, and even insisted I could still have access to the house facilities if I chose. I am extremely comfortable with everything nature, so living completely outside would not be a problem for me. She had no problem with me existing solely outdoors, but also insisted I could use the house facilities and it would be no problem. I agreed that the bathroom, laundry, and freezer in the garage would be good.

We walked the property, and decided the spot she had chosen for me to put my tent was ideal. It was about 75-100 yards down the hill from the house. It was in a fairly sheltered section of her property. I could be under the trees, with a place to string my hammock, and heavy brush, trees, and shrubs to the sides. It was an ideal location. I could live a in a camping-type environment, with a few conveniences inside the house. While it was fairly secluded, it was also not hidden. This would allow me to exist, and go about my daily living without feeling like I was intruding on others, nor me feeling like I was in a fish-bowl. We would each exist, aware the other was there, but not so close that we were lacking our own privacy. I also made sure she was aware of my purple toenails, completely shaved body, and naked (when appropriate) lifestyle. Since I would be using a shared bathroom, and my tent-area would be visible from the house (If anyone chose to look down there) I did not want there to be any shocks, surprises, or things she was not aware of that could possibly make her wish she had not allowed me to live here. She was fine with all of these, even saying: “What each person does is their business, as long as they do not affect the others around them.”

The corner of the property where I would set-up my camp :)

I moved, and set-up camp the following weekend.  The trees and bushes provided shelter from the rain, and wind. I also set-up a tarp-system and drainage trenches that could withstand the storms Oregon can deliver… especially living on the edge of the coast-range mountains. I know how to keep dry when living outdoors. I set up so the sunrise would shine in through the tent doors, but the rain could not reach the tent. I could sleep where I could easily see the stars from my bed, yet the rain could not come inside. My tent was large enough to make a kitchen inside, along with sleeping space, and all my clothes to be organized. Outside, I set-up a cook station, because I won’t cook with flame inside a tent. I also hung my hammock between a couple of trees, where I could enjoy the morning sun, but have the afternoon shade. The only thing that was not ideal was I could not have a camp-fire here. It was technically in the city limits of the small-town of Laurelwood, so fires were not allowed.

While I had full access to the house, I was camping (sort-of), so I would do as much like camping as was practical. One of my greatest joys, is being as connected with nature as is practical, and possible. To me, connecting with nature would include being naked as much as possible.  Camping in complete wilderness, it is not at all unusual to be completely naked for days at a time. Camping within view of houses, there are a few limits to how much you can be naked. But if done without attempting to attract attention, it is wonderful how much you can do naked without causing alarm by those around you.

Other than the very first day, when we agreed to the living arrangement, we never discussed the complexities usually found in a shared-living environment. This was one of the most comfortable, accepting homes I had ever shared. We each came and went as we needed. We each used the house-facilities, without concern or worry about what the others were or were not doing. We all went about our daily lives without concern. When one of us did happen to see another in what would be an uncomfortable situation in most homes, it was treated as though it were no big deal here.  Nobody ever cared what anyone else was or was not wearing. Nakedness, privacy, respect, seeing others, sharing house facilities, etc were treated as if we had known each other all our lives, and it was not an abnormality. We all had a mutual understanding of how to exist in the same space, but not feel the need to be in each others’ lives. We respected the others, and were comfortable, safe, and relaxed.

 When I am camping, I wake-up just as the sun would come over the horizon. I Love lying in the cocoon of the warm blankets, feeling the cold air outside, as you let the sun shine into the tent, and warm your face. Then I would brave the cold air, put on a hat, socks, and boots, and go to hurry and build a fire. If you have never greeted the brisk morning air while naked, then built a fire, it is something  so magnificent, you will cherish it forever! Sure, you shiver a bit, but that is what makes the fire so much better! As soon as you get your fire started, you place your shivering body in the path of the warm smoke. Then you slowly feel the warmth of the growing fire. After getting your body sufficiently toasty, then you can make your hot water for your coffee. After you have had some coffee, then you would brave a shower in the cold-brisk morning air…often done as close as possible to the warmth of the flame.

It was May when I moved into my tent. It was not uncommon to still find frost on the ground in the mornings. The day-time temperatures were just beginning to warm up as summer approached. I loved this! I would wake-up just as the sun would come over the horizon. I could not build a morning fire here, so I would have to put on some clothes until I had made the coffee. I would heat the water the night before, and store it in thermoses and hotpots. The water stayed scalding-hot over night without a problem. While my coffee was brewing, I would go and set-up the blankets in my hammock. By now, I was sufficiently warm, and would strip down again. Then I would grab my book, and cup of hot coffee, and go relax in my cocoon, swinging in the hammock, watching the day come alive around me.

The View across from my tent...

or "My Living Room" :)

I have a different favorite blanket I use to make my cocoon than I featured in the above mentioned “Favorite Blanket Blog”. The one I use for cocoons when it is cold outside, and I need to keep the cold air completely out is a down-comforter with micro-fiber shell. It does more than just keep me warm. It always has a little bit of her love wrapped around me, too.  This one was given to me by a special young lady for Christmas many years ago. Aly felt it was so important, that she even battled black-Friday madness to be sure and get it for me. At one time, Aly was one of the most important people in my life. (She still is, but circumstances have made it so she must go other directions.) From the moment I returned to Oregon in 2007, she made sure to grab every opportunity to be included in my life. She did not care one iota that I was always naked. She just wanted to spend quality time with me. She had lost me once before, and wanted to get as much time again before life took us separate ways again. She told me as long as I had this blanket, I would be warmed… both in physical warmth, and in the warming of my heart. She included her love, and care in this blanket.   

As the summer came, and the temperatures got warmer, there were so many wonderful experiences living out there with my tent as my home. The deer, birds, and assorted critters acted like I was not at all intruding in their world.  As the summer temperatures came, I seldom wore any clothes down there, and only occasionally needed the warmth of the blanket in the early morning hours. Sometimes, I would wear clothes, sometimes I would be naked. Eventually the bordering neighbors got to know me, and we would chat across the fences. (The fences were wire-grid, farm-style fences, not wooden, or solid.) So My tent, and my activities were never hidden. When they would wander out to the fence, to chat, they never once questioned my nakedness. They were friendly neighbors, and happy to chat. It always amazes me how open, welcoming, and friendly people can be. It is times like these, I am always reminded of how nice people can be, and I try to treat people the same way. It baffles me when I meet people that are mean because I do not do things the same as they do. I have seen both sides, and always look for those who like to be nice.

This was not far from where my tent was...
This is the what the hills all around looked like,
and I could see these views from my hammock. :)

As The end of August came, the temperatures were once again frosty at night, and I needed to cocoon myself again in the early morning hours. Kinda funny, because it is the same right now in Vegas. The crisp cool air is invigorating in both morning, and evening. I cocoon myself in my comfy chair, just like I did in my hammock.

I lived in my tent the entire summer of that year. It was mostly perfect for what I needed. I stayed there from May 15^th, until the end of August. (The reasons I finally left the tent are numerous, but not a single one is because I did not feel welcome, or that it was in any way a bad place to live.) There were so many wonderful things that came about that summer because I chose to live in my tent. As the thoughts come to  mind, and I have time, I likely will write more about that summer of 2009. Hiking in The Red Clover fields, Skinnidipping at Gales Creek, exploring Bald Peak, Meeting many wonderful people, Lee Falls, The Tualatin River Headwaters, The Wildlife, Bee Hives, Fresh-picked Fruit, and so much more, are all things I eventually hope to write about. 

In many ways, writing about living in my tent is very appropriate for a Thanksgiving weekend writing.  Thanksgiving is all about what we are thankful for. The cold weather that comes to Vegas much later in the year than in Oregon, just happened to create the feeling that was so prevalent in both the beginning and the ending of that summer. It happens to be those feelings are happening while it is around Thanksgiving. This writing about my choosing to live in a tent, also brings up many of the things I am Very Thankful for.

I am extremely Thankful for all the wonderful people who manage to enter my life at the times when I seem to most need them. I often do not seek people when I am most needing them, but they somehow happen to be there, and do not even realize what an important role they play. I am blessed to have had the pleasure of meeting Kelly, and all her family. I am happy to still have her and her daughter still in my life through Facebook. They accepted me, welcomed me, and made a lasting impact on my life, and in my heart. That summer in my tent was one of the most wonderful, and most-blessed summers. If Kelly and her family had not reached out to welcome me in, I would have gone a completely different path.

Happy Thanksgiving! Jon~=:-)

WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING ME??

The Fist-Bump vs The Hand-Shake:

(or: WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING ME??)

 

This thing that is so popular in Vegas called the fist-bump drives me absolutely nuts! Before moving to Vegas I had not had the “privilege” of being in an environment where they utilize the “Fist-Bump”. This is a totally new thing to me. Perhaps you are familiar with it, Or you are like me, and asking “What Is The Fist-Bump?” Well, when a man sees another man he knows (or has seen once before), he makes a fist, and holds it out at chest-height, and the other man is expected to do the same. Then they bring their fists toward the other one, and “bump” knuckles. Sometimes it is done at waist-height, but mostly at chest-height. It is done, not in a rough manner, but very gently, almost tenderly. It baffles me, and I find it quite disturbing, even creepy.

My Very first day at my job, I was taken up to The Pizzeria after orientation, and introduced to the cook who would be the one I started my training with. When the manager told him my name, I stuck my hand out to shake his hand, and meet him. He held his fist out toward me, and looked puzzled as to what I was doing with my hand. He kept his fist held there, and said “fist-bump”. I had no clue what he was attempting, and wondered why he would not shake my hand. He never offered his hand, nor his name. After a moment, he lowered his hand, and just stared at me. The manager could see where this was going (nowhere) so she then took me to see the schedule, and complete my orientation tour.

The next day when I reported for my first day at The Pizzeria, every man I was introduced to, also attempted this fist-bump. Not one would shake my hand when I was introduced. They all looked at me like I was some sort of freak because I did not understand what to do with their special, secret-club-fist-bump. Every woman I was introduced to gladly shook my hand.


As the days and weeks went on, I was getting more and more creeped-out by these guys. EVERY Single time any of them sees you, they want to fist-bump. There are thousands of employees in my work. Every man in the place wants to fist-bump every other man they see. They want to fist-bump every time they see you, even if they just saw you five minutes ago. What is up with all these men who barely know me always wanting to touch me? It does not matter if your hands are full, or theirs are. It does not matter if you are busy, or if you are trying to handle food. It does not matter if you are unloading hot-molten pizza from the oven. They expect, and want to fist-bump! So, then ya gotta stop, and go wash your hands again to continue your job. But they do not see this as a problem. They want to stand right next to me, fist-bump me, and then just stand there… RIGHT NEXT TO ME. They do this to every male they can. Creeeepy!

I finally got to a point that I could not stand it anymore, and started asking everyone why this was so important to them. I asked the meaning of it. I asked why they felt the need to constantly touch me, and stand literally in my space. Not a single person could answer these questions. One person (a woman) suggested that “perhaps you are not cool enough for the fist-bump.” (To which I replied, “Good! If that is cool, I’m fine not being cool!”) To me, “cool” is not copying what everyone else is doing. Several of the guys’ immediate response to my inquiry was, “It’s NOT GAY if THAT is what you are thinking!” (Well, the fact that I had indeed thought it to be a gay thing, and they are so quick to defend their wanting to touch and be really close to other men, would only help convince me it truly is a gay thing.) I never see another man do a fist-bump to a woman. They only do it to another man. I really would not care if it was a gay thing, as long as they admit the truth, and don’t force themselves on me. Finally, one person suggested it was “like a hand-shake”. Ha, Hardly! I told them it was nothing like a hand-shake, because a hand-shake shows respect, and is done once when you meet someone, and on occasion when you have not seen them in a while. A handshake is never done every single time you see someone. Once you meet someone and shake their hand, you do not go up and shake the hand of someone you hardly know every time you see him. A hand-shake does not have anything tender, and soft about it. The fist-bump is all about touching another man gently, and softly, and tenderly every time you see him. I find that creepy. So, I continued asking, and explaining the difference. Every single person I asked thought I was some sort of freak for even thinking about it. They all deny that the reason they do it is to touch another man, yet none of them can come up with a valid reason for it. They claim they are not touching another man. So, I ask them exactly what they are doing, and they look like I just asked them to recite the entire periodic table.

My work is not the only place I see this. I see it all over Vegas. The tourists Never do this. The residents do it. I see every male that sees another male he knows do this. I have seen it in places I frequent, and on the busses. People who recognize me around town try to do this every time they see me. Even the bus drivers want to do this to me. They look at me funny when I do not readily want to be touched by them. I question their need to want to touch another man, and they do not understand the question. (Fortunately the people in my apartment complex act like they are scared of me, so none of them attempt to fist-bump me when I am coming or going.) They all do it to one another, but not me. That is Good! But everywhere else I see familiar men, they always want to do this. What is wrong with them? Why can’t they greet me, give a smile, and maybe ask “How are you?” Why can’t they actually show a genuine interest in another human? Why are they so intent on touching others? Has nobody ever taught these people about personal boundaries, or inappropriate touching?



Trying to talk to people about it is has proven pointless. The people who wish to do this really are only focused on what they want, and anything else falls on deaf ears. They Really want to Touch Me, and it bothers me a lot! I have never been fond of people I am not friends with touching me in any way. Only people I trust will I willingly allow to touch me. Others have no valid reason to invade my space. Why would anyone want others constantly touching them? About the best defense I can have is to just keep moving (it’s hard to hit a moving target!), and pretend I did not see their attempt to fist-bump. If they can ignore conventional greetings, I can ignore their attempt to force themselves inappropriately on me. I can smile, look them in the eye, and say “Hi”, and keep moving. Maybe, possibly, they might one day return the smile, or look me in the eye, or even say a friendly greeting. Maybe one day they will find a bit of genuineness can actually feel wonderful.


On September 11th, I realized why it bothers me so much. September 11th, hundreds of firefighters gathered at The Stratosphere for a commemorative stair-climb to honor the firemen who died ten years before in the New York World Trade Centers. This event was really positive, and uplifting. It had fire fighters show up from all around the Vegas Metro area. Not only were there firefighters, but also their families, too. Many of these people have been in each others’ lives for many years, having been through good times and bad. They have supported each other through every possible thing one could imagine. Many had never before met, and many were re-united after long absences. Some were new to the gathering. Many worked together on a daily basis. Many only saw one another in quick passing while on the job. This day, they could relax, and chat a bit. They greeted each other with smiles, made eye contact, and eagerly shook one-another’s hands. They asked “How are you?” and “How have you been?” For the new ones, They said, “Nice to meet you.”

What did I see with the fire fighters? I saw Real People, who actually cared about the person they were greeting. I saw people who understood the formality and genuineness of The Handshake. I saw people who understand what a greeting should be, and when to do it. Once they greeted each other with the hand-shake, they did not shake hands again in five minutes when they saw one another again. Not a single person in that gathering fist-bumped. There was no shallowness in their greetings.

I realized from the firefighters what I actually had known, but did not allow myself to put into a real thought. The Fist-Bump stands for exactly the opposite of what The Hand-Shake does. The hand-Shake is about respect. The Hand-shake can seal a deal. The Hand-shake can show care, concern, and a real genuineness between two humans. The Fist-Bump is a shallow attempt to pretend closeness, and somehow act like there is a connection between people who have absolutely no genuineness between them. The fist-bump is not about respect. The fist-bump is about forcing yourself on someone. Those who fist-bump do not look each other in the eye. They do not ask “how are you?” It IS seemingly a “club-membership”. It IS seemingly a mutual “coolness” for those who need to feel cool by being exactly like the others. It is a connection to those they can never connect with. It represents the opposite of The Hand-Shake. That is Why is bothers me so much. That is what The fist-bump represents with the people I see using it.

Here is a photo of me meeting Roger Daly, Owner and Founder of Omnitrition, a multi-million-dollar vitamin, and health-supplements company. He is a multi-millionaire, and one the most respected people I ever worked for. He has respect, and gives respect. He taught me how to make a lot of money. He was very happy to meet me, AND SHAKE MY HAND. Could you imagine if he went around Fist-Bumping? He would not have had much respect, nor be very successful. He made his millions by shaking the hand of every single person he ever met. He looked them in the eye, and asked them “How are you?”

As you look through our world’s rich history, could you imagine what would have happened if people refused the hand-shake, and instead tried to fist-bump?

Imagine this scene. The famous Golden Spike Handshake. May 10, 1869, the completion of The Transcontinental Railroad in Utah.

There are so many historical events that are accompanied by the hand-shake. (I could list them for hours, and show hundreds of pictures... you are welcome to look them up for yourself.) It represents trust, honor, respect, unity, and peace.

A hand-shake is offered when thanking someone for providing a service. In that hand-shake, there is often a folded amount of money offered as a tip. Could you imagine offering a fist-bump to someone who had just done a service for you? That would offer quite an insult to the service provider, and could not offer such a gratuity. You can bet if the service provider got a fist-bump, that person would be less than eager to provide good service to others. You want good service, give a hand shake, and ensure you get it, and that others behind you also get good service. A little respect goes a long way.

A hand-shake is offered as a sign of making peace after having fought. Can you imagine approaching someone in which you wish to have peace with a raised fist? I guarantee you will not invoke peace. You will invoke further animosity and fighting.

Perhaps the fist-bump has different meaning in other places. Fortunately, I have not been in those circles previously. I have been all over The United States. I have seen many cultures I did not understand. But none has been so prevalent, or disturbing. Usually these sorts of things are localized to specific parts of a city, or certain little groups, gangs, or clubs. I have often encountered people who wish to utilize some sort of “cool hand-shake”, but they never want to force it on someone who is not part of their little group. Those people would still give a real hand-shake to anyone not in their little circle. But in Vegas, this seems to be throughout the entire city. There are exceptions, of course. The fire fighters showed me that they are from every part of this city, and the surrounding areas. So, that shows me that perhaps I need to find a different group of people to be around. Now that I have figured out what it means, and why it bothers me so much, I just have to figure out how to make it work for me while I am here.

I am always seeking new information, and want to learn about my environment. I was sure the fist-bump did not ONLY exist in Vegas, and since Nobody in Vegas could give a reason for why they do it, or what it means, I started to scour the web to see where else it exists. I find thousands of photos just from the tag “fist bump”. The most common ones are seemingly to show victory, or a challenge met, in some form or another. For reasons I cannot understand, President Obama is pictured doing this. Is He really that disrespectful? Do people not expect him to show respect, like any other important elected official? Does our President support violence? Is this why so many foreign countries do not have any respect for Him? Sporting events seem to have it numerous times. It would seem that the fist-bump in these instances would be a replacement for the “High-Five”. All of these seemingly show a positive, mutual desire to share the joy of some victory. In each of these, I also notice the people make eye-contact, and are smiling with a quite-pleased –with-their-success look on their faces. These people All have the same look of a common connection, and mutual trust, understanding, and respect.

The thing that does not jive with me, is people are making a fist. A sign of anger, or violence, and raising it as to hit someone, then gently, tenderly touching. How is this a good thing in any way? Yes, I see the pictures, and the looks on their faces. The fist is totally inappropriate for something that would be joyous, and non-threatening. When did the clenched fist in a raised position suddenly become non-violent? Fortunately, I was not first-approached on the street in this manner. Fortunately, I saw it first in a supposedly safe environment of my work. I am not so sure I would have taken lightly to someone on the street acting as if they wanted to hit me. Along with the hundreds of Obama, and sports-team members doing this I see thousands of babies where people are creating a fist-bump with their baby. If a baby reaches out to someone, and is fist-bumped instead of having that person hold the hand, and show it love, what will it teach the baby? It teaches the baby to make a fist, and hit someone. An open hand would welcome that baby’s hand, instead of teaching that baby to hit, and withdraw. An open-hand is a welcome gesture. A Fist is the opposite.

Wikipedia suggests the fist-bump started in boxing and other fighting, where the gloved, or wrapped hands made a hand shake improbable. It also suggests it got strong roots in sports, and in the ghettos. This is no surprise. I have not found any reason for its popularity, and seeming replacing of the hand-shake.

The fist is a sign of violence, anger, challenge, or fight. This does make sense. Sports, and ghettos are all about the fighting, the anger, the challenge, and mutual hatred, always having to out-do another to make yourself look good. I can understand why opponents would welcome the fist-bump. I cannot understand why those on the same team would want to show a sign of anger, or violence toward a team-mate… especially after they have just won a challenge. Shouldn’t they want to show support, joy, trust, and respect? I have never understood the mentality of those who thrive on sports, and this showing of aggression toward their own teammates just helps to baffle me further. And I know President Obama is really into sports. Could it be that he is wishing to run America as if he were on a sports-team, and looking at everything he does as “facing the opposing team”?

I have been asking everyone who does this why they like it. Most do not know, and have never given it a thought. It has been suggested by many who do this that "It is all over The TV, and it looks cool", or "They did it a ton in the movie Wild Hogs." Well, those examples both help justify my distaste for it. If someone is copying something they see on TV, just to look cool, and without understanding, or even knowing WHAT it is, that shows they are just wanting to look, and act like someone they are not. (There are many reasons I do not watch TV... this just helps show another reason.) And the guys doing it in the movie Wild Hogs... That movie was created as a humorous look at how some people want to pretend to be something they are not. That movie is a perfect lesson in how not to behave... but it seems some interpret it in just the opposite way, and missed the whole moral of the story.

These roots and reasons for it also help to justify my dislike, and not accepting of the fist-bump. There is nothing I find acceptable about fighting, or challenging another. There is nothing acceptable about acting like something you are not, or acting like you support violence.

I strive to keep my world violence-free. I had to fight for my survival way too much in life. I abhor anything that represents violence toward another. It really bothers me that so many people want to encourage violence, and promote symbols for violence. Just because everyone else thinks violence is cool, does not mean I have to accept it, and be part of it. I have to live among it, but I do not have to be part of it.

When I meet you, I will not raise my fist toward you. I will offer my hand. If you raise your fist toward me, it shows you have no respect even for yourself, let alone another. It shows you are looking for a challenge. I will not play along with your game. If I know you, and do not trust you, I will simply greet you, but will not touch you in any way. I expect the same in return. If we trust one another, we will shake hands. If we have missed one another, there likely will be a hug, too!

If you happen to find good in the fist-bump, I would love to hear a valid reason for it. If you see the raised fist as a good thing, please tell me why. If you see anything about this gesture as a good thing, please explain, and help those of us who do not understand this. If you have no explanation for it, perhaps that is the key. Ask yourself why you do something in which you do not understand. If you do it just to copy others, ask yourself why you would want to copy another, instead of being true to who you are. If you find joy in touching another man, please tell us why. If it is not a gay thing, then help us understand what it really is. If it is a gay thing, just be honest. Honesty goes a lot further than deceit. I will have more respect for you, if you admit your motives, rather than attempt to touch me in a creepy way. I still won't let you touch me, but I will respect you for your honesty. Help those of us who do not understand why you would want to raise a fist toward someone, then touch them gently, tenderly, softly, and repeatedly. If you want to touch someone, make sure the feeling is mutual, and do it in a manner which is not about violence, or to be creepy.

Meanwhile, if you are not a close friend, STOP TOUCHING ME! It’s bad enough that you come across as creepy, and do not even know a reason for your own behavior, but then you really want to be sure I cannot trust you? Come on! I gotta work with you, wouldn’t you want to build trust, instead of making me always wonder about your motives? Keep a respectable distance, and save the intimacy for your buddies who enjoy that sort of thing.

Here is a T-shirt i think I should wear....

Have a Wonderrful Day... In Your own personal space, not in mine. ~=:-)

"You Must Be Gay"

“You Must Be Gay”


Those words are often said to me. This happens often enough in my life, it is one of many reasons I am never quick to allow people inside my walls. I have learned in life that it is not worth getting upset over anymore. It does, however, sadden me that so many people are so quick to label me in this manner. It shows me that even though the person is in my life enough to feel they should come to this conclusion, they really have not cared enough to actually learn even the tiniest of things about who I am, and what makes me who I am.

Anyone taking even the slightest interest in getting to know me would know there is absolutely nothing about me that would indicate I am attracted to males. If they paid any attention at all, they would know that. However, if they wish to refer to the term of ‘gay’ to mean “carefree, happy, bright and showy, optimistic, or even a free-lifestyle, having no attachments”, I would be more than happy to accept their label. Sadly, most do not even know these are all definitions of the word ‘gay’, and only use the word to imply “attraction to members of the same sex”.



It would seem the main reason this comes up, is because I do not behave like most males they know. Yet, the irony in their logic is, the many things most males which they are comparing me with would in fact indicate those men are gay. Those behaviors of most men are quickly defended as “Just being men”. Now, this is where it gets interesting. People are baffled that I do not behave like most men. I seldom do anything which involves other men. This is where they feel I should be labeled as gay. Most men seek-out, and are very interested in being with other men. According to Wikipedia, “the word gay was recommended to describe people attracted to members of the same sex.” So, Why is it that those men who are in fact attracted to other men, are labeled “Men”. Yet, I am not attracted to other men, and for some reason, people want to label me “Gay”.



Before I go any further, rest assured, I have absolutely nothing against anybody and their own preferences in life. I support every lifestyle, orientation, and attraction anybody desires for their own life. I feel this is a personal choice for each individual, and that it is nobody else’s business what another finds attractive, or is attracted to. What I DO have a problem with, is people who feel they should force their choices on others. I believe people should be free to enjoy what makes them happy, and that is their business, and nobody else’s. Those who truly know Me, know I support every mix, and choice imaginable. What gets me worked-up is when people either lie about what they are, or try to force others into a lifestyle they are not interested in. This would include those who think they should label me gay, just because I am not like most men. It would be wonderful if those people would appreciate who I am, and what I stand for, instead of wanting to make me behave like the very people who they claim they cannot trust.

I am hardly homophobic. Heck, the gay guys are less creepy than the ones who claim to be straight! And those who are openly gay, are happy to accept me the way I am. It is the ones who claim to be straight that want to convert me into their lifestyle. Often the openly gay guys act less gay than the supposedly straight ones.



Now, You tell me… Who is gay, and who is not?

People are quick to label me gay, but they cannot come up with a valid reason for that label. Yet those same people defend the men who are attracted to other men. This conversation makes those guys who claim to be straight extremely angry. For some reason, they have never looked at their own behavior in this manner. Those men who are attracted to other men, yet claim to be straight refuse to see anything that would normally be considered gay as applied to them. So I have to ask, Why are so many men afraid to admit they are either Gay, or possibly Bi? They openly go about their life, and are not at all ashamed to show their affection, and attraction to other men, but the moment someone suggests their behavior would indicate a gay lifestyle, they get extremely angry.

Women seldom fall into this category. Most women are open about their attraction to other women. It is widely accepted, and even encouraged by most men, and women. But for some reason the same is not true with men. Men and women are not willing to accept the man’s gay lifestyles. Perhaps that is the key? Maybe once the women openly accept that many men have a gay (or Bi) lifestyle, and not look at it as a bad thing, then possibly the men will stop lying about who they are. Why do so many women defend, and deny the gay lifestyle of their men? For some reason, it seems most of society wants men to be called straight, even when they are openly Gay, or Bi. And at the same time, it seems most of society wants, and encourages women to live a Gay, or Bi lifestyle, and have no problem with it. Why is our society so hung up on these labels?



There is not a person who knows me that would claim I have any attraction to males. There is no denying my attraction to women. So it always baffles me when someone feels they should say “You Must Be Gay.” Would they rather I treated women in a slanderous, rude, and derogatory manner? I treat women with respect. I find great value in all that a woman is. I appreciate women for the wonderful human, the wonderful individual, the intelligent person, and the whole person they are as an individual. The people who wish me to act like the men they hate, yet so quickly defend, can go somewhere else to force their wishes on someone else. I will not give up what is important to me, or treat women poorly for them to feel I fit their ideal of how a man should behave in their own rude life. I have stopped getting upset over the shallowness, and rudeness of many in our society, but this sort of thing does not help me to find the good in my fellow human. I often find myself withdrawing further, and digging deeper into these sorts of issues for my own benefit, to possibly, and hopefully find something, anything that would convince me to not give-up all hope for humans. The more I learn about Humans, the more I want to rid the Earth of all Humans, and let nature reclaim this planet.



I will write a separate blog to address the reasons I see many males who claim to be straight as actually living a gay, or bi lifestyle.

Hopefully, some of those who do this will read this, and possibly learn to treat their fellow human with a little more care and respect. This subject has come up while at work, by coworkers, and I cannot bring up such deep and controversial topics at work. I am paid to work while there, and must keep my opinions to a minimum. Sadly, the same does not seem to apply to others. Others can be extremely slanderous, and rude with no fear of possibly losing their jobs. When I bring this up to Management, or Human Resources, I am told that I am held to a higher level of accountability because I DO know better. They defend the ones who misbehave saying “they do not know any better”. I am positive that if I said such rude things to another, I would immediately be fired. I occasionally will say a little while at work, but know the acceptable limits. I Can, and Will Post my opinions on my own blog, on my own time. Maybe you know someone who is affected similarly, and you can share this with them, so they know they are not alone in their struggles. If my writings help even one person, then you have just discovered the reason I exist on this place we call Earth. Even if that help is in the form of something to help take their mind off their own troubles for a moment. Or if it helps someone to better understand another in their own life. Any way I can help another is the purpose for my life. I write, and express my thoughts for the sole purpose of creative expressionism, to find an outlet for my own troubles. I make them public, because I have benefitted from other’s writings in the same manner. I appreciate what has been given, and I happily pass that giving along to others.



I Hope You have a Safe and Wonderful Day! Thank You for reading My Blog! Jon~=:-)