Who Pea'd in My Food??

Who Pea’d in My Food??

I Absolutely Hate Peas.

There are very few Foods I Hate. There are many I am allergic to, or dislike, but few I hate. Peas are Absolutely hated. Perhaps my body is trying to tell me something about them??

Yes, I am aware they are nutritious, cheap, and add color to meals.

There are however many Vegetables that can be used and actually taste good, and won’t make me gag or throw-up while eating.  Many times, I will not purchase a food item if peas are even in it. Similarly, the same goes with Bell Peppers. If there is a choice, I will skip both. Often, however, I can determine there are only a few in the food, and not that big of a deal to pick them out.

As a child, our house-rule was : You gotta at least try everything served on your plate at a meal. We were never forced to eat something. We had two choices: Eat it, or go hungry. Simple. But we were not allowed to make a big deal outta what we did not care for. We simply would try it, and then ignore it if it was not something we liked. If we did not eat our meal, there was no dessert. That was a totally fair rule.

Most of our friends and neighbors also had similar rules at meal time. One neighbor, however had a “You must eat everything placed on your plate” rule.  I was somewhere around age five to seven the night we ate at their house that would forever scar me. I do not recall what they served totally that night, But I do recall they piled mountains of Peas on everyone’s plate. The peas were not mixed in any other food, just a pile of Peas. The other food was not anything you could use to disguise the peas to get them swallowed. I made a point to try the peas first, so I could get it out of the way. I immediately almost threw-up, so of course, I just ignored them for the rest of the meal. I Did eat everything else on my plate, and in my opinion, they had piled way too much food on my plate for a kid my size to eat. But I finished everything except the peas.

Well, the mother in that house was an absolute Bi*** and made the rules, and never allowed anyone to have any flexibility. Ever.

I absolutely could not eat the peas, without throwing-up. She told me I could not leave the table until my plate was empty. I tried to tell her why I could not eat them. She got angry, and demanded I follow her rules in her house. Of course, my parents, trying to keep her calm, told me to “try”. Nobody was allowed to leave the table until everyone had finished their entire plate. So I had ten people all upset and waiting on me to eat the pile of Peas. This did not help, because I also cannot eat when there are angry people around me.

Well, of course the peas were cold and worse than before. I did as I was told. And after a few mouthfuls of peas, many gags, and swallowing the uprising vomit, I could not hold it back. I tried drinking more water, but nothing was gonna stop the surge. Needless to say, I think I made my point. I managed to vomit all over the entire table. I did not stick around after that. As soon as I vomited, I got up and left the house. Nobody tried to stop me.

These neighbors were long-time neighbors, and family friends. After that, any time they had us over for dinner, the Mom of that house ALWAYS asked about what each of us would eat, and even let us each dish up our own plates. Without trying, I managed to teach her a lesson in being a good neighbor. But without trying, she also taught me a lesson about learning to stand-up for what I know to be true, especially when it comes to my own health. Throwing-up is never fun.

I never could eat peas, even before that. But after that, it became absolutely impossible to ever eat a single one.

Now, back to why this is a topic today.

Well, I am living in a way that is difficult to prepare decent meals. I own no cookware, I have no microwave, and trying to create decent meals is a bit of a struggle. I own one skillet, and have an oven. That combined with long work days, and commutes, makes it so I am always trying to find something decent to fuel my body. Well, I bought one of those skillet meals. They are labeled as “Meal for two”, but really are only enough to serve one person. I chose the one that seemingly had very few peas.

Last night when I opened the package and poured it into the skillet, I was a bit disgusted to see not just a few peas that needed t be removed, but More Peas than any other veggie. Ingredients labels are supposed to be listed in order of quantity.

Well, the label listed the Peas last, And the photo also showed proportionately very few peas. Mind you, I am well-aware of what food-packaging photos are meant to do, but this one was not even close to what was inside.

So, I began the process of finding every pea, and removing it from my meal …

Holy Crap! Really?? 105 Peas! So I counted the Broccoli and Carrots, too just for curiosity: Carrots: 18, Broccoli: 13.

Once I finished counting, and making sure not one single Pea remained, the meal really was good! Although I was quite disappointed how few Broccoli and Carrots there were...

It made me laugh, cuz one friend I snapchatted the Peas photos to, asked me “Why are you counting Peas?? And she had a puzzled look on her face, Yet I can send any weird, silly, naked, or just plain goofy Snap, and she does not question it one bit.  Hey, She has a fair question. I mean, really, WHO COUNTS PEAS?

Well I did this time, just because I was curious.

Who knew that what started as a simple meal would turn into many photos of entertainment, bewilderment, and even a blog?

Hahaha, and of course my own caption of Who Pea’d in My Food is also fun, since it sounds like someone actually Pee’d in my food! Well, to my body, either one would be poison, and make the food unedible. So might as well have fun with the play on words since I gotta deal with Pea in My Food! As you venture through life, May your meals be Pea-Free. If ya happen to find someone has Pea’d in your meal, Please count, and take pictures. :)

Oh, and I'd Love to have you join me on SnapChat! "halfaniceday".

My First True Love...

A True Love:

 As Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, we all tend to get that longing feeling for some romance.

But what kind of romance do we seek?

Some would say that a fast, short-lived wild-fling would do the trick.

Some would say that something that is comfortable, and has been around a while is better.

Many would rather go for something new, and exciting, rather than old, and comfortable.

There are even some who wish to have more than one love at the same time.

There are those who do not have a current love, or even a crush, and would settle for (almost) anything that happened to be available.

Whichever is the one that happens to be your love of the moment, there is no doubt that we all have the same thing in common: And that is there is no comparison to our Very First True Love!

Whether you call your first a fling, a crush, a romance, or a love, there is no denying that the first always makes the biggest impression on your heart. The first is the one that all others that follow are compared to. The first is the one we learn new thrills, seek new adventures, and see how far, how fast we can go. The first will surprise us, push us to new adventures, and even often help us discover freedoms we never even dreamed of experiencing. The first will also cause great discomfort, and often disappoint us as we learn how to treat our love so as to make the best of every moment, and to keep from causing harm. There are things we expect, but having not had a previous to compare to, we tend to expect the same we have seen from others who already have their own love all around us. We quickly learn that the love we have acquired is completely different, and cannot at all be expected to behave, or even respond in the same manner we have seen work for others.

Sometimes, and actually often, the one we have for our first has already been loved by another, but since this is our very first, we tend to forget that our love has already been around the block. (Or more appropriately, we do not wish to know how many blocks that one has been around.) We like to believe this is as new for us, as it is for our new love.

Often those in our surrounding families, friends, and other acquaintances do not seem thrilled, or even seem to approve at all, of the one we decide to make our first. Or, often we really do not choose our first, but we just happen to end up together. We often do pretty stupid things with our first that those same people will remind us of for life. And no matter how bad the first is, we always defend our decision to keep that one around.

Eventually, we tend to end up moving-on. When we finally do move-on, it is hard to do. We know  how important that first one is, and how many memories we have created. When we do decide it is time to part ways, it is often done with mixed feelings. Those who have watched you and your first go through life’s journey know it is time, and carefully choose their words on how they support us in this difficult time. They often are glad to see this come to an end, but know better than to say anything that could hurt us in the process. It is often only many years (or even many loves) later that we truly find out how they felt about our very first. Sadly, those same people are often the ones responsible for us finding, or meeting our very first.

Seldom can we ever have our very first love again once we have moved-on and parted ways. Occasionally, we see what was once our first around town, but is now the love of another. As we see the way the new person treats what was once ours, we notice they see it the same way we used to. We will often look longingly at what we used to have, and often wonder why we ever parted ways. Many times, though we are more than happy to have gotten rid of that one, and almost feel sorry for the one who has that one now. Sometimes, once we have parted ways, you will never see that one again. Then as the years go on, you wonder what ever happened to your first love. You see one around town that is similar, but you notice all the things that tell you this one is definitely not the one you loved. You know all too well about all the tiny little details, and know for sure this was not your first love. Then you go and enjoy the one that is currently your love.

As Valentine’s Day approaches, I am reminded that I do not have a current love. Most of the time, this is not even an issue, and I just go about life without any concern about being without. For some reason, at this time of year, I tend to wonder if I should once again seek out one to love. I have had many loves in my life, and there have been many times I have been without. As I am going through old photos, and boxes, files and other things, I am finding many photos, and other reminders of My Very First Love. I am also finding photos and reminders of all the other loves I have had in my life. I chuckle, though when I realize that there were some who I loved that I do not have any photographs of. I often find many wonderful reminders of those loves, but for some reason I have gotten rid of any photos that may have existed.

But I Do have many many photos of My Very First Love. …

My First Love had some wonderful curves, and definitely knew how to get my attention. I was 18 at the time. There were others around town that were similar, but none of them quite got my attention the same way. I knew this was the one for me! I was proud that many others actually enjoyed looking at the one I had chosen. Many people agreed this was perfect match, and of course some thought this was quite a mis-match. But I was devoted, happy, and eager! My first love was actually quite wild, and more than I knew how to handle, but with a little practice, things became quite smooth, and comfortable.

Here are some of those photos:

Oh! You thought I was talking about LOVE Between Humans?? Hehe!

Sorry, I could not resist! (Now, go back and re-read this, and you will see I never once referred to anything about love with a human… it is ALL about The Love We Have with our Very First Vehicle.)

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY EVERYONE!

May you find the love you desire on this day of love and romance! JOn~=:-)

I'll Take The Soup!

"I'll Take The Soup!"

In Honor of Superbowl, I feel it is only appropriate to share one of my all-time favorite jokes:

An old man and old woman are sitting in the living room watching T.V.

The old woman wishes to spice-up their evening, and whispers in her husband's ear, but he gets upset because she was interrupting the show.

She thought about it a few minutes, then left the room and went upstairs.

The old man was not terribly concerned, and just kept watching his show.

After a while, the old woman comes down the stairs wearing nothing but a red cape, wrapped around her body. She stops in front of her husband, effectively blocking his view of the T.V.

He notices she is wearing only a red cape, and realizes this is not normal, so he says,"Good Lord Ethyl, What are You Doing?"

She Whipped the cape back with a flourish, exposing her naked body to him, and exclaims,
"Are You Ready For Some Super Sex?!"

To which the old man replies, "I'll Take The Soup!"

So, ever since I first heard that joke many years ago, every time I hear anything preceded by "super", My mind automatically says "I'll Take The Soup!" Often, the soup sounds much more appealing than whatever someone is trying to hype with the word "Super".

Superbowl is no exception. I would much rather have a bowl of soup, than a Superbowl. (and anybody who knows me, knows I do not do soup!)

For those of you who happen to get excited about The Superbowl... Have fun, but do not expect me to share your excitement, let alone show any enthusiasm towards it, the people going nuts because of it, or all the companies who spent billions of dollars needlessly because of it.

I'll be having the soup... hopefully somewhere I cannot hear anything about it. JOn~=:-)

"I'll Be Back... What about Mozart?"

“I’ll Be back.” “I’ll Be Mozart”:

(insert Groan here)

Memorable phrases, quips and quotes.

I love wit, humor, puns, and almost anything that when said makes the person hearing it rewind a bit, ponder it, then chuckle. To play with words, and make another smile, groan, laugh, or just walk away shaking their head is an art-form. Some would call it “Punishment”. (Pun intended).

Sometimes, we do not realize the lasting effect some of the silliest little quips may have. Only when we utter the words said by someone in our past, does the real enjoyment set-in. We pick up little things as we go through life, and often do not realize how much they stick, or how much they seem to bring the warmth, love, and humor of someone you miss back into your present life.

Today I got a voicemail from Kathie in Virginia. She called to tell me the legend I left behind in Virginia still lives. We always played with our words while at work (and out of work, too of course!). The one she called to tell me about was one of my fondest, and one that has fallen on deaf ears since landing in Vegas. When leaving the building, she would say, “I’ll be Back.” To which I would reply, “I’ll be Beethoven.” Or we would mix it up, and say “Mozart”. Her current employer in Virginia has the same humor. She called to tell me she was leaving the building, and told her boss, “I’ll be back” and her boss said, “what about ‘Mozart’?” So she said, “Okay, I’ll be Mozart” and went out the door laughing and smiling. Then called me to tell me! This really made me smile, and gave me a good laugh, too!

I feel puns, plays-on-words, and banter are just a normal way to make work a more enjoyable experience. Some of the puns are welcomed in Vegas, but I find more times than not, I have to explain them. If ya gotta explain the pun, it is usually wasted. It seems not everyone was raised in a world where they are taught to look for fun in everyday words, and to see where they can exercise the brain in an otherwise mundane environment. For those who have never been taught the play-on-words way of life, it is difficult to introduce. Fear not, though. For every ten I have to explain, there are one or two that actually stick! (Yes! They are trainable… hehee!)

Often the words we hear from those in our daily lives stick, and when we least expect it, we find ourselves uttering those same words, and it brings us such a warmth, and feeling like they are still by our side. For many reasons, people are in our lives, and are often not as long as we would hope. But those words, and feelings are brought back when we seemingly need to hear them the most.

The ones that often are the best, are ones created by language-barriers, or by those who speak a different native-tongue than we do. These are not meant to make fun of anyone, or any language, but rather to make the barriers more enjoyable, and even bring a smile, rather than frustration. Working in the pizza industry has a few that will always stick with me, and I have even managed to get most of my coworkers in new environments to adapt, and even use the funny ones. For example, there are some languages which have difficulty pronouncing the word “Hawaiian”. When they call on the phone to place an order for a Hawaiian Pizza, they manage to get the word as “Hiya-Wanna”. So, rather than getting frustrated at attempts to teach them the proper pronunciation, we would ourselves adapt, and use the same word they do. So now, Every place I work that has anything “Hawaiian” in the name, it becomes “Hiya-Wanna”. Once I explain the name I call it, other coworkers are eager to join-in.

Also humorous, but could be frustrating if you let it be is how different cultures, languages, and ethnicities either recognize, or do not recognize certain sounds. Sometimes the way the translation comes out acquires a whole-new meaning, and is often humorous, depending on which side of the barrier you are on. Take the ones who do not pronounce “V’s” as a “v-sound”, yet it comes out as a “W-Sound”. A “Vegetable, or Veggie” becomes “A Weggie”. So, when someone calls up, and orders “A Large Weggie”, one cannot help but chuckle, and think they want a “Wedgie”. (in case you do not catch the pun, a “wedgie” as defined by Wikkipedia is: “A wedgie occurs when a person's underwear or other garments are wedged between the buttocks.”) I have received many “weggies”, but the most memorable was from Alan in Virginia. (Those who know Alan will understand).

Sometime we hear jokes , and Always remember the one(s) we heard it from first.

A good (or bad, You decide) example of language differences is “Tenjewberrymuds” I heard from Jenn and Maria:

“Do You Want Some Meel with Your Toes?” Huh? Don’t understand…. Here it is: (well, one version of the funny story):

Room Service - Tenjewberrymuds

The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service at a hotel in Asia. It was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review:

To get the full effect it should be read aloud. [You will understand what 'tenjewberrymuds' means by the end of the conversation.]

Room Service (RmSv): Morrin. Roon sirbees.

Guest: Sorry, I thought I dialled room-service.

RmSv: Rye...Roon sirbees...morrin! Jewish to oddor sunteen?

Guest: Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs.

RmSv: Ow July den?

Guest: What??

RmSv: Ow July den?...pryed, boyud, poochd?

Guest: Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please.

RmSv: Ow July dee baykem? Crease?

Guest: Crisp will be fine.

RmSv: Hokay. An Sahn toes?

Guest: What?

RmSv: An toes. July Sahn toes?

Guest: I don't think so.

RmSv: No? Judo wan sahn toes??

Guest: I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn toes' means.

RmSv: Toes! toes!... Why jew don juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?

Guest: English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine.

RmSv: We bodder?

Guest: No...just put the bodder on the side.

RmSv: Wad?

Guest: I mean butter... just put it on the side.

RmSv: Copy?

Guest: Excuse me?

RmSv: Copy...tea...meel?

Guest: Yes. Coffee, please, and that's all.

RmSv: One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin we bodder on sigh and copy...rye?

Guest: Whatever you say.

RmSv: Tenjewberrymuds.

Guest: You're very welcome.

(Special thank to Will and Guys Clean Funny Jokes:

http://www.guy-sports.com/index.htm  )



I have been fortunate to have been around many people in my youth that taught (some would say brainwashed) me to use puns, play-on-words, and twisted humor to make it through some of life’s daily struggles.

Kathie was not the only one in Virginia, but she managed to make some of THE BEST Memories! We both managed to test one another on the limits of how much our brains could go different directions under the stress of a busy, crazy, chaotic workplace. I often would ask if there was anything she needed, or wanted while I was out. One of her standard replies was “A Million Dollars On An Ice Cream Cone.” Now, put yourself in my position, and think about how you could actually do that for someone you love. It took me a little over a year to come up with a solution on that request, but I finally gave it to her one Christmas! I will write a completely separate blog on that one…some day. Meanwhile, you will have to dig deep into your twisted thoughts to see if you can come up with how I managed to pull that one off.