~BACON~! Always A Good thing, Right??

~BACON~!! 

I Was Soo Excited to cook bacon again! It Was Beautiful, Smelled great and Looked so Delicious! ... Until I caught my kitchen on fire ~=:-/

NEW RULE! NEVER ~EVER~! Use generic lightweight tinfoil again. ~EVER~!

I Just wish someone had caught the whole scene on camera!! Imagine a Naked person happily dancin' around his kitchen, making and sending snapchats to friends, even sharing a short-video of the pancake on the stove, and the bacon perfectly sizzling in the oven. The choreography is beautiful. Then Imagine watching that same choreographed beauty change as the kitchen was suddenly on fire! ... ~oh that scene was mad hilarious. 

It has been a long long time since I have written a blog. This is not because there is nothing exciting in my life to write about, but the exact opposite! My life is so full of Incredibly blessed daily activities, creative projects, and Things that enrich and nourish my soul, that I just have not had time to sit on the computer and write.

Today is no different. I have a million things that are incredibly wonderful, and lots of creative projects in the works. I decided to come write while I let the Smoke clear, the stove cool, and the unburned bacon grease to fully cool before I attempt any more clean up. Besides, This story is too freakin funny to not put into words!

So, Yesterday while shopping, I decided to reward myself with some Bacon. Yes, Reward. No I am not on a diet, or anything like that. I have been diligent about not splurging at the store, not buying treats, or spending more money that I absolutely had to. You see, almost a year ago, I ended up living in one of those Weekly rental motel places, and spending a fortune, going in debt, and struggling to even afford food weekly. Well, in February, I finally got my own "affordable" apartment. But the debt was still chasing me. I have worked hard this past five months to get my expenses manageble, and attempt to get those debts (which were threatening to sue/ garnish, etc under control.) Well, that has been quite the accomplishment! I am now current and have nobody's lawyers chasing me. That is a HUGE relief! So I decided a reward of Bacon was justified. 

I looked over the entire 12-foot section of Bacon many many times. I could have simply gone with the store-brand-cheapest bacon for less than 3-bucks. It would count as bacon, and still feel like a huge reward. But, No. I finally decided on the $7 for 7-absolute Perfect, Thick, Steakhouse-seasoned strips of Pig Flesh. I Held that package in my hands and just admired it for at least 10-seconds. Other shoppers probably thought I was some Freak bacon~worshipper. (Yes, it really did feel like a religious moment). But then I realized I was out of foil, so I almost put it back. Then I reasoned that I could simply go buy the cheap foil, and "it would do". (You might wonder why I need foil to cook bacon?? Stay tuned. I get to that in a bit.)

So today is Saturday, My Sunday. I make sure to get everything done on Friday that requires running around town. This way, I have today completely free to relax at home. This means I have no schedules, or exact times I gotta do anything. This means I can catch-up with the past-weeks events, news, friends' activities they've posted, and even get some of my photos loaded into my Flickr account. I can sip my Coffee (which, by the way, I got myself a Really cool new Mug Yesterday, too!! See? Perfect!

Part of my plan in accomplishing a Life of Peace is to make sure I leave time to cook my own meals, instead of needing to eat Instant, or worse to eat at a restaurant. (again, part of my get-out-debt-plan). I recently remembered the joy of Pancakes. I do not know why I ever stopped making pancakes, but I did. Years and years ago. I saw an old photo that made me recall the delight of pancakes. Here is that photo:

Yup, Cookin' Nekkid is always how you'll find me :)

Well, To me a photo is more than a picture. It is emotion, feel, and brings back all the memories of exactly what I was feeling when it was taken. This photo reminded me of an important thing I somehow had forgotten. The art of making breakfast. Not hurried, not fancy, just happy. 

So, I have been making pancakes and Spam for about a month now, and it is pure delight. This time I decided to go with the treat of My Glorious Bacon along with my pancakes. Yeah, you always hear the joke "Don't cook bacon in the Nude" ... but I do not cook bacon on the stove. I cook it in the oven. This is where the foil comes-in. I line a pan with foil, making edges all around to hold the grease, place the bacon on the foil, then just slide it into the oven at 400* for about 15 minutes. Ya do not need to turn it, it stays flat, there are no splatters, and cleanup is a breeze! Once the bacon is removed, let the grease cool, then just roll up the foil and throw it away! 

Well, Here is where the generic Foil bacame a problem. The generic foil was also not at wide as the regular stuff, so not all of the bacon would fit on one baking sheet. No problem, I just grabbed another baking sheet, lined it with foil, and put the remaining bacon on that pan. Well, That second pan is what started the problem ... It is a dark pan. Everyone knows that dark pans cook faster than light pans. no problem, I'm a pro, right? Ha! Well I was timing it just right, I had one pancake almost done, and knew I would have the perfect amount of time to place it on the plate, add the butter, and Peanut Butter, then would remove the dark pan of bacon. My timing was perfect. I placed that pan on the unused burners of the stove, and grabbed the slices of perfect bacon off, setting them on the paper towels I had on the other counter. I put the butter in the pancake pan, and started the next pancake. just then, the foil wall holding the molten bacon Grease decided to collapse!!! I had a flood of extremely hot bacon grease flooding across my stove and toward the burner of the pancake pan!!

Well it doesn't take a genius to know that if grease hits that burner, it will ignite. It was already smoking heavy because of the hot surface. I had a fan on in the kitchen to keep it cooler, but it was also blowing right toward the stove. I knew if that grease flashed, the fan would spread the fire, so I kicked the fan, as I simultaneously turned off the burner, turned off the oven, and grabbed a roll of paper towels to attempt to stop the flow of grease before it got to the hot burner. Well, I succeeded in three of the four above steps. The fan was not blowing where the fire would erupt. The heat sources were turned off. I almost stopped the flow of grease. Unfortunately, it went under ALL of the burners, and immediately flashed, since that was the hot top of the oven under those burners. I happened to have lids for pans nearby, so covered each burner with a lid so no air could fuel the fire. I used a kitchen towel to smother the flames that licked across the stove.  The fire was out as fast as it started, and did no harm to anything. (Well, no visible harm is noticed yet. Once I clean the stove, and under the burners, I will know it the wiring was scorched.) But my bet is it flashed,a nd went out, so likely no damage.) Yes, I could have run and grabbed a fire extinguisher, but that would have given the fire time to spread. I know enough about fires to know to stop them before they can actually become alive. 

Now the second pan of bacon in the oven was burning. I grabbed the tongs to remove it. It was not badly burnt, but not exactly bacon-tasty anymore. I went to place these pieces on the others I originally removed ... only to discover in the process of kicking the fan from blowing on the stove, I aimed it directly toward the counter which held the previously removed bacon .. and blew it right into the sink full of dishwater. 

So My three-perfect pieces I removed that caused the fire, were now soaked in dishwater. 

I surveyed the scene. Decided there was nothing else that could become a hazard. Grabbed the jar of peanut butter, and simply ate a few forkfulls of Peanut Butter as my Breakfast. Then I wondered why my smoke detector never went off. I walked around the corner, and realized my other fan was blowing a fresh funnel of air from the bedroom window right past the smoke detector. I turned that fan off, and immediately the detector activated. Ugh. So I turned that fan back on. I looked at the mess in the kitchen again, decided now was the perfect time to take a break, and write ....

I leave you with this one thought:

~BACON~! Always a treat. Always a Delight. Always Good! ...

Now, Imagine again why people say "NEVER COOK BACON IN THE NUDE"

Now as you ponder this, I will be scrubbing my entire kitchen ... Again. (I Just scrubbed the entire thing yesterday ...) ~=:-/

Have a Great Day! Even if you almost toast your nekkid bits!(hmm, weinie Roast anyone?) ~Grin~

And JOIN Me on Snapchat! 'halfaniceday' ... you just might be receiving some of these hilarious things as they happen :)

Who Pea'd in My Food??

Who Pea’d in My Food??

I Absolutely Hate Peas.

There are very few Foods I Hate. There are many I am allergic to, or dislike, but few I hate. Peas are Absolutely hated. Perhaps my body is trying to tell me something about them??

Yes, I am aware they are nutritious, cheap, and add color to meals.

There are however many Vegetables that can be used and actually taste good, and won’t make me gag or throw-up while eating.  Many times, I will not purchase a food item if peas are even in it. Similarly, the same goes with Bell Peppers. If there is a choice, I will skip both. Often, however, I can determine there are only a few in the food, and not that big of a deal to pick them out.

As a child, our house-rule was : You gotta at least try everything served on your plate at a meal. We were never forced to eat something. We had two choices: Eat it, or go hungry. Simple. But we were not allowed to make a big deal outta what we did not care for. We simply would try it, and then ignore it if it was not something we liked. If we did not eat our meal, there was no dessert. That was a totally fair rule.

Most of our friends and neighbors also had similar rules at meal time. One neighbor, however had a “You must eat everything placed on your plate” rule.  I was somewhere around age five to seven the night we ate at their house that would forever scar me. I do not recall what they served totally that night, But I do recall they piled mountains of Peas on everyone’s plate. The peas were not mixed in any other food, just a pile of Peas. The other food was not anything you could use to disguise the peas to get them swallowed. I made a point to try the peas first, so I could get it out of the way. I immediately almost threw-up, so of course, I just ignored them for the rest of the meal. I Did eat everything else on my plate, and in my opinion, they had piled way too much food on my plate for a kid my size to eat. But I finished everything except the peas.

Well, the mother in that house was an absolute Bi*** and made the rules, and never allowed anyone to have any flexibility. Ever.

I absolutely could not eat the peas, without throwing-up. She told me I could not leave the table until my plate was empty. I tried to tell her why I could not eat them. She got angry, and demanded I follow her rules in her house. Of course, my parents, trying to keep her calm, told me to “try”. Nobody was allowed to leave the table until everyone had finished their entire plate. So I had ten people all upset and waiting on me to eat the pile of Peas. This did not help, because I also cannot eat when there are angry people around me.

Well, of course the peas were cold and worse than before. I did as I was told. And after a few mouthfuls of peas, many gags, and swallowing the uprising vomit, I could not hold it back. I tried drinking more water, but nothing was gonna stop the surge. Needless to say, I think I made my point. I managed to vomit all over the entire table. I did not stick around after that. As soon as I vomited, I got up and left the house. Nobody tried to stop me.

These neighbors were long-time neighbors, and family friends. After that, any time they had us over for dinner, the Mom of that house ALWAYS asked about what each of us would eat, and even let us each dish up our own plates. Without trying, I managed to teach her a lesson in being a good neighbor. But without trying, she also taught me a lesson about learning to stand-up for what I know to be true, especially when it comes to my own health. Throwing-up is never fun.

I never could eat peas, even before that. But after that, it became absolutely impossible to ever eat a single one.

Now, back to why this is a topic today.

Well, I am living in a way that is difficult to prepare decent meals. I own no cookware, I have no microwave, and trying to create decent meals is a bit of a struggle. I own one skillet, and have an oven. That combined with long work days, and commutes, makes it so I am always trying to find something decent to fuel my body. Well, I bought one of those skillet meals. They are labeled as “Meal for two”, but really are only enough to serve one person. I chose the one that seemingly had very few peas.

Last night when I opened the package and poured it into the skillet, I was a bit disgusted to see not just a few peas that needed t be removed, but More Peas than any other veggie. Ingredients labels are supposed to be listed in order of quantity.

Well, the label listed the Peas last, And the photo also showed proportionately very few peas. Mind you, I am well-aware of what food-packaging photos are meant to do, but this one was not even close to what was inside.

So, I began the process of finding every pea, and removing it from my meal …

Holy Crap! Really?? 105 Peas! So I counted the Broccoli and Carrots, too just for curiosity: Carrots: 18, Broccoli: 13.

Once I finished counting, and making sure not one single Pea remained, the meal really was good! Although I was quite disappointed how few Broccoli and Carrots there were...

It made me laugh, cuz one friend I snapchatted the Peas photos to, asked me “Why are you counting Peas?? And she had a puzzled look on her face, Yet I can send any weird, silly, naked, or just plain goofy Snap, and she does not question it one bit.  Hey, She has a fair question. I mean, really, WHO COUNTS PEAS?

Well I did this time, just because I was curious.

Who knew that what started as a simple meal would turn into many photos of entertainment, bewilderment, and even a blog?

Hahaha, and of course my own caption of Who Pea’d in My Food is also fun, since it sounds like someone actually Pee’d in my food! Well, to my body, either one would be poison, and make the food unedible. So might as well have fun with the play on words since I gotta deal with Pea in My Food! As you venture through life, May your meals be Pea-Free. If ya happen to find someone has Pea’d in your meal, Please count, and take pictures. :)

Oh, and I'd Love to have you join me on SnapChat! "halfaniceday".

Would You Peek?

Would You Peek?

 So I recently got SnapChat. The reason I got it is completely different than how it ends up being used. (Not a complaint, I actually LOVE it!) OK, so we all know most people do not want pictures of themselves floating around the web. Also most people, while they may wish to share a photo of something fun, creative, playful, or just silly... Most are very reluctant to share any photo because of how they already know too many photos end up surfacing when and where they did not want them visible. 

Enter SnapChat. An app that allows the user to take, and send a photo that will self-destruct after it has been viewed. (the sender has the option to save their own photo before it is sent, but not after. The sender also cannot even view their own sent photo. Also, the server does not and will not store any photos sent on the app. (yes, there have been lawsuits to gain access to the photos allegedly sent, and there really are not any photos saved.) This is where many people who otherwise would not take, or send a photo of themselves find a joy, a thrill, a freedom, a playfulness, and a new-found braveness. To know they can take, and send any photo to a friend, and that photo will never be seen again. ...

Well in theory. Because the person receiving the photo can screenshot it. But Snapchat notifies the sender of a screenshot has been captured. If you know and trust the one you are sending it to, there is not a worry.

With anything we do in life, there is a level of risk. Trust is also a factor. As with anything, there is the possibility your photo could be seen by someone not intended. Yes, of course, there are ways for people to get around the screenshot notification. There are even videos (and you can find them in The Snapchat help section) about how to outsmart the technology. Or even so simply as the receiver could take a picture of their screen with another camera. But hopefully the one you call friend is also true enough that they are not going to do you harm. So, this opens up the freedom to take and send pictures to one, or many people that you know will self-destruct in a pre-set by you number of seconds.

All my life, I have found that given the right circumstances, many will do things privately that they never would do publicly, also that they likely would never admit to anyone. Again, this boils down to trust. Trust can bring so much joy, freedom, and pleasure. Trust can allow chains to be broken, walls to be knocked down, and allow two people to test their own inhibitions, desires, and boundaries. Most people who get to know me quickly find out that if someone tells me, shows me, or shares with me something that is intended just between us, that nobody else ever knows (unless the one who asked me to keep it private decides to share their own secret).

 SnapChat is very much the same... It is no secret that I love the human body. I do not see it as shameful, or ugly, or anything that should be hidden. All my life, I have loved learning how the body works, what it looks like, feels like, and how each views their own. To me the body is an incredible machine, a mystery, and something that we can never fully understand. I do not see the body as sexual, nor do I view any part as forbidden, secret, obscene, or 'dirty'. I would let anybody who is curious see, touch, learn, and be curious about my own. Likewise, others treat me the same. If I am curious about theirs, they do not hide.

 To me, naked is nothing weird, embarrassing, or new. Sure, clothing creates the greatest of illusions. And often creating illusion is more alluring than naked is. Illusion, or a partial-view often creates more curiosity, more imagination, more playful-ness than fully naked ever will for me.

 And THAT Brings up the question in the above photo: Would You Peek? The answer is "Of Course!" When someone (myself included) gets the courage to allow something to be seen that they have traditionally been told needs to be hidden, they seek approval. Often when someone creates a "peek", a "possible-view" or even a creative angle on a part they had normally hidden, it is done with a bit of fear, apprehension, and "what if?". So of course when on snapchat, someone sends one of these, (or in person, decides to uncover themselves) their first question is "Did You Peek??" (and they themselves wonder "am I ok with this?... Omigosh, I just sent a photo that I am not sure if it is ok, or will I offend, or should I be offended that the person looked, or enjoyed, or... omigosh, what will happen?" )

But when they find that there was nothing that happened in a bad way. So, it becomes "Hmm, that was fun!, That was freeing/ liberating/ exciting/ felt good... What else can I do?"

 I have Two Questions for you: First: what would you be OK with Me sending you (Or more defined, Is there a desire you wish me to send but were afraid to say?) Second: What would you send to me? (or more defined, is there something you would send if you knew it would not be mocked, or would not offend me?) For the Record: Unless someone is being deliberately harmed, there is Nothing that could offend me. Really, there is not.

If someone wants to test their own boundaries, freedoms, explorations, and desires, I encourage it. I encourage creativity, playfulness, learning, imagination, and freedom.

 Why am I writing this today? Because last night I snapchatted a great friend for over two hours. We got creative, laughed, enjoyed, and each tested our own desires, boundaries, and acceptance. Nope, I will not tell ya what our snaps were, nor will I tell ya who it was. Just like in any other part of my life, I keep the trust, and will not blab. (but on that note, since I am so open about my own life, I know when I share these joys with the other, they are free to tell and share.) I know if I send a photo, text, etc, the person receiving it likely will have a significant other, close friend, or even random stranger next to them, and when they laugh, they likely will be showing/ sharing with the person next to them. Yup, I am totally ok with that, since I would never ask someone to hide my relationship with them. (They know I am not with others, and will keep their life private. I know they are not alone, and sharing is part of who they are.)

Also of curious note: I fully expect others to screenshot, save, and share my own photos, yet I likely would never copy one they sent me. There is one exception: If it is just a silly cartoon, not revealing anything about who they are, or any identifying items/ views that would tell others who I got it from. Here is a great example of what I would screenshot, and save:

This photo is one I DID screenshot. I absolutely Love the fun this captures! It is creative,playful, teasing, and pushing the boundaries of what this person would actually allow another to view. The humor in it was just too perfect!! (Not to mention the drawing is wonderful!!)


This photo came because I posted my own silly "Selfie of Me In the Bath"... See below...











This photo of the skeleton in the bath is not mine. It is the Creation of http://www.nickveasey.com/, and I am just borrowing it :)


How about You? Do You Snapchat? and Would you Peek? Join Me! My Snapshat Name is "halfaniceday" ~=:-) Oh, and by the way, Yes, I do send and receive plenty that are not along the lines of "if you show me yours, I will show you mine"...

Ha! Along the lines of "If You Show Me Yours, I Will Show You Mine"... That, like so many things in life has sooo many double-meanings. You can choose to interpret it in any way you find fits. It could simply be Your Smile. You send me a photo of your face, I likely will send you one of my face. You send a photo of your food, you likely will get a photo of my food. You send me a photo of your sunrise, I will likely send yo a photo of my sunrise. Send me a photo of your moon, I might be tempted (notice I said tempted) to send a photo of my bare butt, since the play on words is so fun! But unless I know you are OK with seeing my Butt, I will not until I know you are ok with that. I will always assume you do not. So If you want to see more, just say so... Or along the lines of "If You Show me Yours..." Send me something playful, maybe not even completely revealing, to give me a hint. I enjoy hints.

Now I will leave you with a funny cartoon:



Of Course it Is just a funny cartoon... Those who know me, know whether or not they could touch. But the same goes as the whole thing above about Is It OK? Well, just like the photo, texting, etc... if you want to know, just ask.