Is It A Purple Kinda Day?

Is it A Purple Kinda Day?

Last week, a friend asked why I was wearing my plain denim shorts, instead of the Purple Booty Shorts I love so much. The simple answer: Safety.

Of course, there is not really such a simple answer. I also told her “The Bus is a different world.”

These of course are both true.

But there is so much more than safety, or the bus.

Fear.

Well, I Proudly, and Happily AM Wearing My Purple Booty Shorts Today on the bus! Fear Be Damned! (~Meemp~) I Hope I am as fearless As I think as I march out the door with no place, or no option to hide. (Picture me shriveled-up, hoping my invisibility cloak is working today…)

Fear plays a bigger part in what we choose to do daily than any other factor. Fear of what? You may ask. Good question. That is what we each need to look deeper at.  It is easy to just not be what we need to be, blend-in, and not stand-out. When I make big changes in my life, I tend to retreat a bit (A LOT!, ~Sigh~) from where I was before the changes. I tend to go more into a “Don’t look at me” mode. Which of course is only in my mind. I am different than anyone anywhere all the time. I cannot and do not blend-in, nor do I even for one second seem invisible to any who look my way. As much as I would love to sometimes, nothing about me says “”Blends-in”.

What changes have I made? And Why would I want to Be Invisible for a short-time?

Well, Last week I did something I have never before done. I chose to go live in one of those “Weekly” rental apartments. Technically it is a motel, with long-stay tenants. Yep, One of THOSE places. This decision did not come easy, but it did come easier than the decision to move from where I was. After months of searching, trying to find where I needed to be to find the life again that I had let get pushed aside, it finally hit me. I had left living Downtown Las Vegas one year ago. I realized Downtown was where my heart is, the culture, life, and community are. At least for me. I know Downtown is not for everyone. Once I decided I needed to be Downtown again, the deciding to move was easy. The hard part was while in the bad situation I was still living-in, I could not focus properly on finding where my next new home should be. The place I was leaving was extremely unhealthy, unclean, and a very unsafe environment. So I set a Move-out date, and knew it would be final… Whether I had found a home or not.

~GASP!~ I Really was about to commit to being Homeless again!! Oh MY, What have I just Done??

No worries, I told myself. I’ve been homeless before. Except this time, I was without a vehicle. So I put it in God’s hands. (I occasionally forget, and try to place things in my own control… silly Me!) But I totally gave it all up to Him, and went on Faith. Pure faith. Yup. Got the Uhaul truck, loaded up, and only once I was free from the old place did I begin looking for my next new temporary home.  I knew Vegas has thousands of those weekly rentals. No problem, right? …  

… Well, Long Story Short, This week has been faced will all sorts of new challenges, new  ways of living, and adjustments.

The story of how I actually ended-up in this particular weekly, plus all that happened leading to it is a story in itself, and I will write it another time.

But back to my Purple Shorts.

As I got dressed today, I noticed I HAD indeed re-found my confidence, safety, and began living exactly as I am, without fear. Heck, I even put on a Pink Bikini with Flamingos on it, went outside and took pictures! (Yes, there totally is a story, and blog to come about that!) I had even gone outside nekkid (yes on Fremont and 13^th!) and not had a bit of fear. I finally got enough taken care-of , including what I think is my next new home lined-up. For the first time in months, I felt I could relax for a bit. Saturday afternoon, my only day off this week, I decided to relax. While I did my laundry, I also decided to go enjoy the pool. I even allowed myself to sunbathe in a place I never would have before. (Yes the sunbathing is a complete story all in itself also.)

Yup, I was ready to be myself, including wearing my Purple Booty Shorts …To work!

Now, there are “Strict” rules about how an employee is supposed to look upon entering The Airport. 
I, being a responsible employee, of course follow ALL The Rules! ~Cough! ~Ahem!

So, as I exited the bus, and entered The Airport, I proudly put on my badge, and marched right on in. Most of this morning crew had not previously seen me arrive in my Purple Booty Shorts. They were about to. I was ready. Boy is it always funny to watch peoples’ reactions. They should know better by now that there is nothing I will not do if it makes me smile and feel good.  But I always manage to shock a few. They will learn (maybe). The guys are always the funniest. They just do not know what to do with a guy who does not follow “Guy-Code”.

My Morning went great! Kinda funny, though. The entire rest of the day was a blur. Even as I changed back out of my uniform into my Purple for the trek home, I noticed somewhere the day disappeared in a blur. The magic of the Purple was missing. But it did not really hit me until I got a Snapchat from a friend as I drifted to sleep saying she hoped My “Purple Day” was great. Umm… I wish I could say it was great. The morning was. And That is what I will cherish. I also had a few good interactions with some of my favorite coworkers, and I will cherish those. I will continue to find the Magic of The Purple, even if it is in tiny doses.

I hope, no matter what is happening in your world, you remember to always find something to bring even the tiniest doses of Magic. Cherish those moments. 

Clothed In TRUST (or a Cast-Iron Skillet?):

Clothed in Trust:

What Does it take For You To Be Free?
When You Allow Yourself to Be Vulnerable...

The Very First Time I ever Wore a G-String...And Publicly, too!

This is a Story about the one time I dressed as Peter Pan, and I bet you are wondering how the subject of wearing a G-string could possibly relate to The Peter Pan Character...

and How it Connects to TRUST... It really does all connect:

Sometimes, I can be seen in an outfit, or fun item that will make ya wonder, even consider that I may in fact be a bit Crazy. I will not deny this. I would absolutely love to wear stuff that suits my personality All The Time! … But our world seems to dictate how much we can actually be unique based on their  own fears, not on the person who wants to be different. For those times when you see me wearing something so whacky that you wonder how I got the determination, or even the guts to do it… There is One thing that is a key factor: TRUST.

What I wear, depends a lot on whether or not I trust those I am around. The same goes for what I Don’t wear. For so much of my young life, I was happily a nudist. I learned early on who I could trust, and when it was safe to let my guard down, and be free. Even after the age of twelve, when I went into mostly hiding my nakedness, I found those I could trust, and would allow them to see me at my most vulnerable. It is not just about naked, that is just a good representation, and parallel to illustrate vulnerability.

Some of my most fun outfits, costumes, shenanigans, and freedoms to be uniquely me, and not worry one bit about what others will say, do, or how they might harm me have come Only when I am able to trust those I am around. When you see me dressed in completely “normal” clothing (well, as ‘normal’ as I will ever get!), that tells you something is missing in the trust department. This usually happens once I have been harmed, and have figured out that by being my unique self, it actually brings, invites, and encourages attacks. I occasionally will revert to only wearing simple clothes, a simple hat, and trying hard to make sure I do not in any way stand out. When you see me like this, you know something is not balanced in my world.

On the other end of that spectrum however, If you see me being silly, wearing items that make me completely stand-out, or absolutely not look like I wanna blend-in, then you know everything is perfect in that area. (or at least in the moment, very safe, very comfortable, and I can be free). This is how I am when you see me playing with my ducks, or other silly objects. When I am creating the fun photos y’all see, it is when I am in a safe place.

Writing yesterday about wearing my Christmas G-string, During the entire time I was writing, and even re-reading, after I published it, I had one feeling that came to mind: TRUST. When I’ve been free enough to wear that G-string for Kara, and even when I wore it in The Wetlands, and posted the pictures publicly, I KNEW I was in a place where I could Trust those around me. Trust is a huge factor in my word.

No matter how many insecurities I have, if I trust you, I likely will do almost anything with you. If I trust you, I just might surprise myself, with what I would do around you, for you, or even with you! Some of the most rewarding experiences of my life have come when I am with someone, or many who I trust. Often, I do not even realize how comfortable I have gotten with a person, until after an event, or time when I look back on it, and go: “WoW! That person has my trust!”

I was reminded of a time long ago when I wore a G-string… sorta…. It was in October of 2009. I was living in a house full of people, each having varying degrees of “alternate Living” Lifestyles. I use that term simply to not label any one type, or in any way point out what one’s own lifestyle was. We each fit into the category of “alternate” in different ways. One of the girls was having a birthday party, just before Halloween, and had decided to make it a costumed party. Not necessarily a Halloween costume, just a costume. It was deemed to be a “Very Free” lifestyle party, meaning nothing was really off-limits. The other “rule” was that you had to create a costume on “dollar-store” items… Meaning anything you wore needed to be VERY inexpensive, and could possibly be obtained at dollar stores. This allowed for creativity, and also encouraged the use of things you might not otherwise use… making the imagination play an important part.

All the people in this house, and that would attend this party were very safe to me, and I trusted them. They accepted me as a nudist. Heck, they accepted Me!

Now, I bet you are wondering where the “G-String” I mentioned earlier comes into play? Well, read on, and you will see!

So, mentioning this party idea to a coworker, and tossing about possible ideas, He suggested I go as a Disney Character… More Specifically, Peter Pan. Well, this got me thinking of the green tights, funny tunic, etc. My friend grinned, and then told me what he meant… Well, rather than explain it to you, how about I just show a picture….

Ok, So Now You Know It was Not The Peter Pan in green tights that could fly….

…but rather A Pan Over My Peter! (the robe was simply because this was Oregon, and It Was Cold!!)

And the “G-String”?... Well, that was how I held the pan in place! I gotta say, this was My Very First Time Ever wearing ANYTHING Like this!! I was mortified, but knew it would a fun night! The pan was of course Ice-cold, so I had to preheat it so it would not freeze parts. (I just soaked it in warm water before wearing it.) And to fasten it…. Well, the term G-String took on a whole new meaning this night!! G… for Groin. String… well, it was rope (or string)… so there ya have it! It was definitely not the most comfortable way to wear it! But it did the job… sorta. Initially I had attempted to just tie the rope around my waist, and thru the handle. But that left an awful lot of sway in the pan. (I don’t know if you’ve ever had a rogue cast-iron skillet flopping about near your parts, but that only leaves room for instant damage!!) not to mention inadvertent flashing of those who did not wish to see what was inside the pan! So, I needed to create a more-secure way to wear the pan. Thus the g-string. To say it was a wee-bit uncomfortable to have a rope up my butt is an understatement! (and If I ever do that again, I will use something a tad softer, maybe even a bit wider!) After a few attempts, I succeeded in creating an effective g-string.

The costume was a total success, and everyone absolutely loved it! Much to my chagrin, they seemed to like it a bit too much…. It was a good thing I trusted everyone there, because they were not shy about “inspecting” how I did it. That night, I had more people literally playing with that area than I’ve ever had in my life! Nobody did anything sexual, they simply were curious, and knowing I would allow their curiosities, they allowed themselves the freedom to explore. I likely would have done the same if they were the ones wearing it! Most people wanted to inspect the rope, and see how I managed to tie it, where it did, or did not go. Some wanted to see if there was anything worn under the pan, or if I had lined the pan with anything soft. Their concern was about chaffing, scraping, or other possible complications that could arise. (speaking of arise… Well, maybe I won’t tell about that…) many wanted to see “how many sausage and eggs fit in that pan” and even wanted to see how they fit. Everyone took plenty of pictures, from every angle, and some at very close-range. To say I was safe, and trusted them all was an understatement! That night, I was SOO safe, comfortable, and trusted all of them!

Just a Note about all the curiosities, and "exploring" of my regions: I treat others the way I would want to be treated. So many people are so guarded, and not willing to allow another's curiosites. So often, when a person is curious and not intending any harm, simply wanting to grow, learn, understand, gain knowlege, they are rebuked, scorned, and made to feel ashamed for even asking. I was fortunate to have found many in my early years who actually encouraged and welcomed these curiosities. I learned that if approached in a non-harmful, desire of learning way, most of the time, it is mutually rewarding for each person involved. (The curious one learns, and often so does the one being asked!) Sure, there were plenty that did not encourage this, but fortunately, there were many who Did encourage learning! So, when others approach me in this manner, as long as I trust them, I will allow the curiosities, touches, explorations, and it usually turns out that we both learn something from the experience! Often, sadly, our society seems to scorn, or look down upon these curiosites, learnings, understandings, so many times, we are forced to "Not Tell Anyone", which is truly sad. Any curiosities in this department are summarily categorized into "sexual" behavior, instead of simply learning about the human body.

Well, in the comfort department, I was not comfortable in the sense of how my costume fit, and especially when I tried to sit down while we played board games! I had not planned for how things would shift, and especially how the rope would dig-in!! Also along with the rope going tighter, the pan also did not remain where it was supposed to. Eventually, it got too awkward, parts were not remaining inside the pan, and it was just plain uncomfortable, and I was cold, so I went down to my room and took it all off. I put baby powder all over my region, and let is soothe me… Then I put something soft and warm on and went back upstairs.

Of all the photos taken by everyone that night, I never saw any of them. The only photo I have is one that was taken with my own camera (the one I posted above). I am sure somewhere in the great web, there are photos floating around of details of that costume… And again, it’s a good thing I trust those people, because otherwise I might have reason to worry… Grin!

So, as you go through life, may you find people you can trust, people who encourage you to be free, explore your desires, and find your Peter Pan! (Just be careful when you sit while wearing a Cast Iron Skillet, and a Rope G-string!)