You Seek a Relationship? With One Person? Why?

You seek a relationship? With Only One Person? Why?

So many people in life seem to always be looking for their next relationship, seeking their partner, feeling incomplete unless they are in a relationship.

To me, one cannot do anything with another, until they have learned who they themselves are, are happy with themselves, and do not NEED another for their own happiness, but rather once they are happy in their life, then another can come in and make it so much more enriching. So many people tend to always seek to be connected to another, never allowing themselves to truly learn who they are as an individual.

Obviously there is much to be gained, given, shared, understood, and thrive-upon any time any people find a connection, trust, understanding, and have common goals in life.

I cannot understand why people seek their “Soul-mate”, “Life-partner”, or “Significant-other”. To Me, that seems like they are limiting their potential, settling for only partial love, and not really seeking to give and receive all the love they were designed for. In my observations, the one(s) that are meant to be together will happen to work-out, without anyone going looking, forcing it, or trying to make it happen. I cannot understand why anyone seems to think they are not complete until they have attached themselves to another. (Kinda matches the whole calling someone "My Other Half" ... Seems to suggest you are not willing to be whole as you were created, but that you need someone before you can truly be who you were meant to be.)

All My life the way humans tend to go about life, especially relationships, baffles me. Often to the point that I truly wonder if I really am at all Human, or just somehow dropped amongst them, and supposed to figure out how to fit-in.

The notion that there should be a “Soul-mate”, or “The One” to me is so outrageous that I wonder why so many limit themselves, and refuse to find the capacity of love they truly could experience.  Now don’t get me wrong. In no way am I suggesting people should not commit to one another, or denouncing that there really is chemistry, balance, and love between any given two (or more) people. I just feel that as complex Humans that we are, there is so much more to give and receive between people than can be achieved in a one-on-one basis.

Another thing that baffles me in the way people go about getting in a relationship is how often one will try to force it. Clearly, a relationship should be built on mutual feelings, mutual connections, and when two or more people feel they are drawn into one another’s lives.

When someone feels they are “supposed to be with” another, yet it is one-sided, that is a clear sign that the feeling is not a true connection, and certainly not a basis for “building” a relationship from. This would in many cases be what is called “stalking”. The infatuation, or desire of the one to “Be with” the one who is not feeling the same often will push away the one not as interested, and because the pursuer was convinced it really was a connection, they will suddenly claim to have “gotten their heart broken”. Desperation, or acts of being desperate seldom will gain positive results.

One thing I have always done consistently in my life is to be up front, and honest about my intentions, feelings, goals, and desires. While knowing who I am, and what I do or do not want in life would seem to be a great quality. However for some odd reason, those are also confusing and puzzling to those who do not yet know themselves and what they like or do not like in life. My suggestion to anyone is to always get to know yourself before you attempt to include another in your life.

I certainly will never claim to be any sort of “Relationship Expert”, But I DO know what is and is not good for me in life. If I tell someone what I do not seek, and do not want, yet they seem to think they can convince me to do those things just because They want them, they get a hard smack of reality when I shut the door in their face.  If I tell someone who is angling toward “making me their boyfriend” that I am absolutely not interested in that sort of relationship, yet they still have the notion they will continue to pursue me in that way, they will find a locked door between us fast!

I also am an anomaly in the sense that I am Asexual. Period. That means exactly that. I Am not at all interested in sex, am not seeking sex, will not have sex. Does not matter male, female, gay, bi, trans, or anything in-between. I do not like, want, desire, or seek sex in any way. This confuses people, because I also happen to be a nudist. For too many on this Earth, they equate naked with sex. So to see a male naked, they just cannot grasp that I am not seeking sex. I go into great detail about my lack of sexuality in many other posts. This one is devoted to relationships.

Oddly, also, many seem to think the whole purpose of a relationship is for sexual pleasure. For some it may be. For me, not at all. If I get into any relationship, it is absolutely Emotional, Mental, Spiritual, and for the feelings that are shared, never for any sexual desires.  

With all that is said above, you might be wondering what, exactly might lead me toward a relationship? Well, I have been in many relationships that were absolutely wonderful! Some have been only between myself and another, but most of the cherished ones have been when it is more than just two individuals. Yes, I know this may baffle you, and your thoughts are going all sorts of places. 

But let me try and help make it not seem so wild:

I am not talking about Swingers, or even Open Relationships. Those are definitely sexual in nature. A relationship including more than two people happens when everyone involved is mutually accepting of each other, completely honest, completely open, and completely understanding with No hidden agendas, often everyone involved is involved together. Again, this is about relationships, love, spiritual, mental, and emotional well-being, Not about Sex! (Although sex may occur between those who agree and desire, it usually is not like an orgy, or wild sex stuff.)  Each person brings something different to the relationship, making for more love, understanding, and comfort. As humans, we are complex in ways that limiting yourself to only one person in a relationship means that you will not fulfill every aspect of your being.

If you have never given that any sort of thought, it can be mind-boggling. Most are taught that a relationship should be limited to only two people. (not even sure what that stems from, but it is a common thought in most of our society) Think about it this way: You have many best friends, right? Each one fits in your life in a little bit different way than the others. You would never consider that you should only have one friend, eliminating all the others. But when it comes to “traditional” relationships, you choose one person. You marry that one person, and push out all the other best friends you had. Pretty soon you realize you miss what they contributed to your life, but say something along the lines of “Well, I am happily married.” Now, think about how wonderfully enriched your life would be if instead of pushing out the friends because you got married, that you include them in your marriage.  I know, it boggles your mind, because you have never before been taught you are allowed to think that way.  

The notion of Loving more than one person is not new, nor in any way something that was created just to fulfill someones strange notion. The idea of many loves, all included, open, and honest with one another is as old as mankind. The difference is you have been taught that you are not supposed to love more than one person. To me, that teaching is a sad thing. Humans were made to love, help, encourage, uplift, and support one another. We were not made to isolate, separate, and keep one only to ourselves. Nor were we made to be isolated. Our love is meant to be shared. The more we give, the more we receive. Imagine if everyone on this Earth felt loved? Imagine if everyone felt secure enough to Give Love? Don’t you think that if you were allowed to give love to as many as you possibly could, you also would receive ten-fold the amount you gave? That exactly is what I am referring to when I say relationships should not be limited to only one person. That is isolation.

PolyAmory is a term that seems to have come into use a lot lately. Seems to me someone needed a term, or category to fit a lifestyle that has been around since the beginning of mankind. This, too baffles me: The need to “Categorize” everyone and everything. I have never understood why everything people do needs to fit some sort of pre-defined category, label, or group, but that is what makes some happy, so they create these to find a place their lives “Fit”. But anyhow, Poly-Amory, or Poly-Amorous are both becoming popular. While I do not agree with every aspect this page posts, it is a good one for answering some of the more frequently asked questions about how having more than one love can affect people. Here is the page: https://www.morethantwo.com/polyamory.html

Whatever you choose to call it, I hope you can call it love.

I have been in many wonderful relationships in my life. Some have been with only one person, but the most fulfilling ones have been when I was in a relationship with many someones at the same time. Each of those was done in the manner that everyone involved was in agreement of what the relationship was. Nothing was hidden. All were aware, consenting, and agreeable in what roles each played.

Yup, I also have been in relationships with married couples. Sometimes, the fit is absolutely perfect. Instead of being a “third-wheel”, I am “the other husband”. Think about that for a second, and think about who I am and what I am all about, you will see how it fits nicely. There is an old saying that goes something like this:

Found this on Pinterest, Here:

Now, of course we all know that is a joke. But in reality, wouldn’t it be great to fulfill all that? Well in the type of relationship I refer to, it is a Reality! I have been in many like this in my life. None were exactly like this funny sign, but all were equally fulfilling, where each person fulfilled a different area of the relationship. It is absolutely empowering, wonderful, and fulfilling to be in such a relationship. Keep in mind, unlike the funny picture, we all agreed to let each other know what we each wanted, and what was good by one, or better by another.  I have been in many just like this in my life. Nope, we never hid it, although most who did not know us well assumed we were just joking about the nature of our relationships.  Naturally, my role was not in the sex department. But often the emotional, spiritual, even sensual led to those who were in the sex area to have a more fulfilling experience. I am perfectly fine with not being included in the sex, but also perfectly fine with helping those who wish to achieve it to make it more fulfilling. Everyone wins!

The only time a relationship like this is harmful is when one person decides they want a one-on-one relationship, instead of the fulfilling one they had been in for years. When they seek a one-on-one without being open and honest with the others they are already with, it will be desructive, instead of positive. If it is a woman marrying a guy who was not fond of her having friends that were guys, sadly, the woman will leave all her fulfilling relationships, and go isolate herself with that one guy who was not willing to see her totally happy. Often, it is a new guy that enters a relationship where there are more than two people and he is not willing to join the relationship, or even get to know the others, but decides he wants to take that gal away from what makes her happy. Sadly, the lady will often go, and later lament how sad she is, or attempt to meet with her friends secretly for fulfillment. But anything done in secret never works out in a positive way.  Everyone loses when one in a group relationship decides to not tell, or include the new interest in the more-than one relationship. For them to work, everyone must always be aware of everyone else involved, and accepting of it, or it will fall apart real fast. Integrity, honesty, and openness are the key. As soon as one of those is gone, there is no longer a trust, and it all must go away.

The only way to have a true relationship is to be open and honest. When one is isolated, they lose their happiness. But if they wait until it is too late to present what they know to be a great way to have relationships, it cannot be done. It must be open from the beginning, or it will fail.

It has been a few years since I have been in any relationship at all, and I am totally fine with that. I am not seeking to be joined to anyone. Although it is jokingly tossed about that “Jon has many girlfriends”, and of course I play along with that, because it actually does appear that I am in many relationships, but in all reality, I happen to only interact momentarily with any of my supposed girlfriends.

I of course always joke about my “girlfriends”… Nor do I have any “boyfriends” either. Nope, I am not opposed to either. If someone, or many someones, came along that fit into my life, and uplifted my Spirits, emotions, and mental well-being, and I did the same for them, I absolutely would not hesitate to be in a relationship with them.  To me it should not matter if that human has a penis or a vagina, since those are merely physical aspects. I could love anything that has a soul … but is has to fit nicely with my own soul … a fit that would present itself without sacrifice, without convincing, without coercion. It would just fit, and happen, no planning, no hoping, no scheming.

I have often in my life been referred to as “An Angel”. This is not of my own choosing, nor would I call myself an Angel. However, when others refer to me as either “an Angel” or “Their Angel” or “Guardian Angel”, often outsiders will agree. I am ok with that. If I truly am an angel, and was sent to help with that person’s life, situation, or circumstances, I think there is no better “title”. But similar to any other Spirit, an Angel is not meant to be held by just one, nor would an Angel enter a relationship with the one they were sent to help. I do not understand why, but often those who call me “Angel” also seem to think I should be in a relationship with them. I guess I see it as “Keep your personal life separate from you work life”, Meaning: if I am an Angel, My work is to guide, protect, help, and get going in the right direction. My role would absolutely not be to claim that one as my own., or to in any way take on the role of “partner”.

As to why I say I do not need or seek a relationship, unlike most of the Humans on this Earth? Well, To make it simple, I am a Very Spiritual person. I connect with nature, with The Indian Spirit, and with The Eagle. Just like any of the above, if those are fenced, or placed in an unnatural environment, they will wither, and no longer be free-spirits. An Eagle is beautiful to watch, admire, and learn about. Tether or cage an Eagle, and it will no longer be of any interest because it will not be allowed to soar. Cut down a tree, and yes the wood is beautiful, and can be admired, but it no longer can stand tall, providing Oxygen, cleaning the air, or providing shade, and homes for numerous others in life. Remove an Indian from his plains, and wilderness, and he no longer can connect with the Free Spirit of the Universe, can no longer provide for his people, and can no longer thrive.  Similarly, if I was caged, I would no longer be who I am.

The ONLY way I will end up in a relationship is if someone happens to walk beside me in life, free in spirit, uncaged, and also stands tall in the wind, the sun, and all the elements of life. Wanna know who is the right one, or ones for me? The one(s) who happen to just fit into my life, or I happen to fit into theirs.   That someone, or someone(s) will be aware of who they are, know fully what they believe, but also be open to learning and changing as they grow and change in life. That person, or persons will know why they feel the way they do, will love themselves first, and thrive on helping others to feel that same freedom. The one(s) I end up in a relationship with will be Spiritual, Free, and full of Wonder.

Meanwhile, I do not wait around looking, seeking, or hoping for anyone that might choose to join me. I waited long ago, and I learned the hard way that only leads to disappointment. Now I go forward with my life, not looking over my shoulder to see if anyone is wishing they had tried to walk with me. If and when the day comes that I am meant to be with another, I will see them right beside me. It will not be a chase, nor a bargaining to get with them. I know fully who I am, and will happily welcome anyone who also has discovered who they are. But they gotta know who they themselves are before they could possibly want to join another.

You are welcome to watch me soar as an Eagle. You are welcome to enjoy the shade, or breathe my Oxygen of me as a tree, or even climb up me to get out of the flood swirling at your feet. You are welcome to ride the plains, worship the Spirits of The Universe, and be one with the wild animals with me as an Indian. I will even help you to find who you seek to be, but don’t think for a second I will be caged, or taken out of my nature.

Love Yourself first. You are a Beautiful Human. You were made unique, so that only you can decide what fits best in your life. Once you find who you are, then you will be amazed at what you can find in a relationship. 

Clothed In TRUST (or a Cast-Iron Skillet?):

Clothed in Trust:

What Does it take For You To Be Free?
When You Allow Yourself to Be Vulnerable...

The Very First Time I ever Wore a G-String...And Publicly, too!

This is a Story about the one time I dressed as Peter Pan, and I bet you are wondering how the subject of wearing a G-string could possibly relate to The Peter Pan Character...

and How it Connects to TRUST... It really does all connect:

Sometimes, I can be seen in an outfit, or fun item that will make ya wonder, even consider that I may in fact be a bit Crazy. I will not deny this. I would absolutely love to wear stuff that suits my personality All The Time! … But our world seems to dictate how much we can actually be unique based on their  own fears, not on the person who wants to be different. For those times when you see me wearing something so whacky that you wonder how I got the determination, or even the guts to do it… There is One thing that is a key factor: TRUST.

What I wear, depends a lot on whether or not I trust those I am around. The same goes for what I Don’t wear. For so much of my young life, I was happily a nudist. I learned early on who I could trust, and when it was safe to let my guard down, and be free. Even after the age of twelve, when I went into mostly hiding my nakedness, I found those I could trust, and would allow them to see me at my most vulnerable. It is not just about naked, that is just a good representation, and parallel to illustrate vulnerability.

Some of my most fun outfits, costumes, shenanigans, and freedoms to be uniquely me, and not worry one bit about what others will say, do, or how they might harm me have come Only when I am able to trust those I am around. When you see me dressed in completely “normal” clothing (well, as ‘normal’ as I will ever get!), that tells you something is missing in the trust department. This usually happens once I have been harmed, and have figured out that by being my unique self, it actually brings, invites, and encourages attacks. I occasionally will revert to only wearing simple clothes, a simple hat, and trying hard to make sure I do not in any way stand out. When you see me like this, you know something is not balanced in my world.

On the other end of that spectrum however, If you see me being silly, wearing items that make me completely stand-out, or absolutely not look like I wanna blend-in, then you know everything is perfect in that area. (or at least in the moment, very safe, very comfortable, and I can be free). This is how I am when you see me playing with my ducks, or other silly objects. When I am creating the fun photos y’all see, it is when I am in a safe place.

Writing yesterday about wearing my Christmas G-string, During the entire time I was writing, and even re-reading, after I published it, I had one feeling that came to mind: TRUST. When I’ve been free enough to wear that G-string for Kara, and even when I wore it in The Wetlands, and posted the pictures publicly, I KNEW I was in a place where I could Trust those around me. Trust is a huge factor in my word.

No matter how many insecurities I have, if I trust you, I likely will do almost anything with you. If I trust you, I just might surprise myself, with what I would do around you, for you, or even with you! Some of the most rewarding experiences of my life have come when I am with someone, or many who I trust. Often, I do not even realize how comfortable I have gotten with a person, until after an event, or time when I look back on it, and go: “WoW! That person has my trust!”

I was reminded of a time long ago when I wore a G-string… sorta…. It was in October of 2009. I was living in a house full of people, each having varying degrees of “alternate Living” Lifestyles. I use that term simply to not label any one type, or in any way point out what one’s own lifestyle was. We each fit into the category of “alternate” in different ways. One of the girls was having a birthday party, just before Halloween, and had decided to make it a costumed party. Not necessarily a Halloween costume, just a costume. It was deemed to be a “Very Free” lifestyle party, meaning nothing was really off-limits. The other “rule” was that you had to create a costume on “dollar-store” items… Meaning anything you wore needed to be VERY inexpensive, and could possibly be obtained at dollar stores. This allowed for creativity, and also encouraged the use of things you might not otherwise use… making the imagination play an important part.

All the people in this house, and that would attend this party were very safe to me, and I trusted them. They accepted me as a nudist. Heck, they accepted Me!

Now, I bet you are wondering where the “G-String” I mentioned earlier comes into play? Well, read on, and you will see!

So, mentioning this party idea to a coworker, and tossing about possible ideas, He suggested I go as a Disney Character… More Specifically, Peter Pan. Well, this got me thinking of the green tights, funny tunic, etc. My friend grinned, and then told me what he meant… Well, rather than explain it to you, how about I just show a picture….

Ok, So Now You Know It was Not The Peter Pan in green tights that could fly….

…but rather A Pan Over My Peter! (the robe was simply because this was Oregon, and It Was Cold!!)

And the “G-String”?... Well, that was how I held the pan in place! I gotta say, this was My Very First Time Ever wearing ANYTHING Like this!! I was mortified, but knew it would a fun night! The pan was of course Ice-cold, so I had to preheat it so it would not freeze parts. (I just soaked it in warm water before wearing it.) And to fasten it…. Well, the term G-String took on a whole new meaning this night!! G… for Groin. String… well, it was rope (or string)… so there ya have it! It was definitely not the most comfortable way to wear it! But it did the job… sorta. Initially I had attempted to just tie the rope around my waist, and thru the handle. But that left an awful lot of sway in the pan. (I don’t know if you’ve ever had a rogue cast-iron skillet flopping about near your parts, but that only leaves room for instant damage!!) not to mention inadvertent flashing of those who did not wish to see what was inside the pan! So, I needed to create a more-secure way to wear the pan. Thus the g-string. To say it was a wee-bit uncomfortable to have a rope up my butt is an understatement! (and If I ever do that again, I will use something a tad softer, maybe even a bit wider!) After a few attempts, I succeeded in creating an effective g-string.

The costume was a total success, and everyone absolutely loved it! Much to my chagrin, they seemed to like it a bit too much…. It was a good thing I trusted everyone there, because they were not shy about “inspecting” how I did it. That night, I had more people literally playing with that area than I’ve ever had in my life! Nobody did anything sexual, they simply were curious, and knowing I would allow their curiosities, they allowed themselves the freedom to explore. I likely would have done the same if they were the ones wearing it! Most people wanted to inspect the rope, and see how I managed to tie it, where it did, or did not go. Some wanted to see if there was anything worn under the pan, or if I had lined the pan with anything soft. Their concern was about chaffing, scraping, or other possible complications that could arise. (speaking of arise… Well, maybe I won’t tell about that…) many wanted to see “how many sausage and eggs fit in that pan” and even wanted to see how they fit. Everyone took plenty of pictures, from every angle, and some at very close-range. To say I was safe, and trusted them all was an understatement! That night, I was SOO safe, comfortable, and trusted all of them!

Just a Note about all the curiosities, and "exploring" of my regions: I treat others the way I would want to be treated. So many people are so guarded, and not willing to allow another's curiosites. So often, when a person is curious and not intending any harm, simply wanting to grow, learn, understand, gain knowlege, they are rebuked, scorned, and made to feel ashamed for even asking. I was fortunate to have found many in my early years who actually encouraged and welcomed these curiosities. I learned that if approached in a non-harmful, desire of learning way, most of the time, it is mutually rewarding for each person involved. (The curious one learns, and often so does the one being asked!) Sure, there were plenty that did not encourage this, but fortunately, there were many who Did encourage learning! So, when others approach me in this manner, as long as I trust them, I will allow the curiosities, touches, explorations, and it usually turns out that we both learn something from the experience! Often, sadly, our society seems to scorn, or look down upon these curiosites, learnings, understandings, so many times, we are forced to "Not Tell Anyone", which is truly sad. Any curiosities in this department are summarily categorized into "sexual" behavior, instead of simply learning about the human body.

Well, in the comfort department, I was not comfortable in the sense of how my costume fit, and especially when I tried to sit down while we played board games! I had not planned for how things would shift, and especially how the rope would dig-in!! Also along with the rope going tighter, the pan also did not remain where it was supposed to. Eventually, it got too awkward, parts were not remaining inside the pan, and it was just plain uncomfortable, and I was cold, so I went down to my room and took it all off. I put baby powder all over my region, and let is soothe me… Then I put something soft and warm on and went back upstairs.

Of all the photos taken by everyone that night, I never saw any of them. The only photo I have is one that was taken with my own camera (the one I posted above). I am sure somewhere in the great web, there are photos floating around of details of that costume… And again, it’s a good thing I trust those people, because otherwise I might have reason to worry… Grin!

So, as you go through life, may you find people you can trust, people who encourage you to be free, explore your desires, and find your Peter Pan! (Just be careful when you sit while wearing a Cast Iron Skillet, and a Rope G-string!)

A G-string, a Pretzel, and a 5-minute Quickie?

Do Pretzels and G-strings have anything in Common?

And How can a “Five-Minute-Quickie” be completely non-sexual?? Wait, what!??

Who would have thought that by simply buying a Giant Pretzel and having a daily “Five-Minute-Quickie” could lead to me buying a G-string… and More specifically, A Christmas G-string, Complete with bells!! Wait, What?!

Yep, Leave it to me to connect the subject of a Pretzel as an after-work snack with a Thrift-store-find of a Christmas G-String…. And the “Quickie”? And how on Earth could all this be anything but Sexual?? THAT IS THE BEST PART! It has Absolutely Nothing Sexual about any of it! You will just hafta read more to understand…

Sometimes, no matter how well we think we know our own self, there is occasionally something that happens to make us find out we really are not as set-in-stone as we think, or as firm on what we think we will, or will not do. Occasionally, even something you only saw as “sexual” can suddenly be the exact opposite. This is my story about allowing myself to buy, wear, and even share publicly A Christmas G-String (complete with bells!)

Have you ever met someone that manages to challenge you in so many wonderful ways? A person who somehow has the ability to allow you to open-up even more than you ever thought would happen? A person who somehow manages to get you talking openly about things you thought you’d long ago said all there was to say? A person who manages to even make you consider doing, or wearing something you would have previously thought you would absolutely NEVER do?

My friend Kara has done exactly that. Kara has become a trusted, valued friend. She has managed to show me how caring, safe, and comfortable someone can be. Kara has managed, without even trying, just by being her normal self, has helped me learn more, explore more, and embrace more of what, who, and why I am the way I am. (I bet that sentence muggled your brain, huh?)

Now, before anyone gets the idea that Kara is my girlfriend…. Nope! I am not interested in having, or finding a girlfriend. Nor, is she interested in finding or having a boyfriend. We each have plenty to take care of in our own lives, and are not interested in complicating life more with that sort of relationship. I know from life, that most people cannot fathom a man and a woman being friends, simply friends, with NO Sexual interactions, desires, or temptations. But those people have never really gotten to know who I am, or what I am all about. Simply put, I am Non-sexual. Period. I absolutely love the genuine friendship that can be had, and absolutely do not want anything more.

I met Kara well over a year ago, and at the very first time we met, we managed to find plenty to talk about. She was working at a Kiosk in Downtown Las Vegas. More specifically, she was working where I liked to stop daily for a snack after work. This Kiosk sold many items, and like so many places, it also offered those wonderful Giant Pretzels. There were easily a dozen places I could get a pretzel, but This Kiosk happened to feel the most comfortable, plus the employees were always friendly, liked to get to know their customers, and made each one feel important, welcome, and cared about. I could easily have gotten the same snack, or an equivalent anywhere, but I was always drawn back here. I had been going to this kiosk long before Kara began working there. I was a regular, and all I had to do was become visible, and the workers knew what I wanted, often placing my pretzel in the toasting machine before I even got to the counter. This same was true on Kara’s first day. I walked toward the kiosk, and the lady training Kara told her what I wanted before I even got there. Of course, Kara looked at me like “Why is He so Special?”, but not in a mean way, more of a curious way. The other lady introduced us, and We immediately found plenty to talk about. That day was the beginning of a friendship.

I do not often, easily let others into my world, or even feel comfortable being welcomed into their world. I often am a loner, or socially awkward enough that the social-necessities that often accompany getting to know someone, or even to be comfortable in allowing them to know details about who I am, are guarded. That is one reason photography, and blogging has become so valuable to me. By allowing others to view my life through my photography, and even my writing, it allows me to open the door, but at their leisure, comfort, and even how much they want to know, or see… by their own choosing. Often, the way people find they are comfortable with me is by working with me, allowing the interactions of a stressful day, but also allowing the playfulness, and often unguarded moments slip when we are focused more on our job, than on our own fears. Most people I have ever called a good friend I met through work. I have a few valued friends I have met though by being their neighbor, or even in a roommate situation. I have a few rare ones that I have met online, through mostly photography, and common interests. I have even fewer that have become friends solely on chance meetings, and interactions having nothing to do with work, home, or anything online… but those are a cherished few! Kara is one of those. (I could list others, but this writing is about Kara, and the G-string)

Kara was different. Kara let herself into my world, not by curiously seeking my photos, or even my blogging. In fact, she seldom saw any of my stuff online. She chose to get to know me through five-minute interactions, one day at a time. Each day I would come to get my pretzel, she would not just greet me as another customer. She would look into my eyes, ask questions, listen with her heart and her soul. Of course, I absolutely love getting to know a person’s mind, and hers was one I felt welcome to pick! We each allowed ourselves to be free, comfortable, and open. Most days we only interacted about five, maybe ten minutes at a time. Some days, more. But our friendship, and getting to know one another was based solely on what I call “The five-minute Quickie!” hehe…

The “Five-Minute Quickie” is that interaction you get from a person who happens to work at a place where you are a customer. You have usually less than five-minutes each time you visit that place to interact with the employee, and likewise, that employee has less than five minutes to interact with the customer. If that employee is good and passionate about customer service, not just about getting each customer served, there can be an incredible amount of satisfaction on both sides. If both the employee, and the customer find ways to make that short interaction both pleasant, and intellectually stimulating, it can be extremely satisfying. It becomes something that as a regular, both the employee, and the customer look forward to daily. These interactions are what I often refer to as a “Quickie”… or more specifically, The Five-Minute-Quickie. There is something wonderful about knowing you will always get that smile, that caring interaction, and that oh-so-brief-lift in your day. Every place I have lived, I have found at least one spot that fill this niche. Sometimes, it is a coffee place. Sometimes it is a hot dog, or burger place. Sometimes, it is a bus driver, or other service worker you see daily. Once I have found a satisfying “Quickie” I am usually Very Loyal, and even refer my friends to the same person. I “jokingly” also refer to whoever is that quickie provider as (depending on their gender) either a “Girlfriend” or “Boyfriend”…. But not in any sort of romantic, sexually, committed relationship sort of way. For example: She’s my Coffee Girlfriend. Or He’s My Hot Dog Boyfriend. These are the people who I find a “Five Minute Quickie” with on a regular basis. They of course are completely harmless, completely non-sexual, and if anything just a quick flirtation. And, No, it does not matter, Male or Female, because it is not anything to do with sex. Yup, I am secure enough to say I have a "Hot Dog Boyfriend!" Grin!

In Kara’s case, I called her “My Downtown Girlfriend”… and told people She was My Downtown Quickie. Those who get to know me totally understand the humor, and what that means, knowing it is non-sexual, or even no more than simply that interaction. But Kara managed to make it more than simply a five-minute quickie, and more than just a “downtown Girlfriend”. Nothing about me had scared her or even made her keep a distance. She also valued who I am, and included me in more than just that kiosk interaction. We found we have similar backgrounds, and could connect on many of life’s happenings. Sometimes, our own schedules made it so we did not see one another for more than a week. Sometimes, by chance, we would happen to momentarily meet at a bus stop, as we each were catching separate busses. Many times, we knew that even a brief “Hi” was something to cherish. Often, we could only interact for brief moments. We each had only begun to disclose some of the details that we both wanted to know more about with the other.

One day, I happened to catch the same bus she had just gotten on. She was heading home, and asked if I wanted to come meet her dog. Of Course I did! This was huge in the trust, friendship, and letting down of barriers that we as humans tend to place in our way. She was happy to show me where she lived (even tho’ she’d already told me, showing me was different.) She had no worries about letting me into her home, and meeting her dog.

Many times, she invited me to come swimming, and most times, our schedules just did not work. Often, we planned to have lunch, and that too seemed to never happen.

She knew I was a nudist, and even though she wanting absolutely never to see me naked, she still accepted me. (And I accepted her, knowing that I could never truly let myself be free around her.) We literally talked about every subject you could imagine, even the things about the human body associated with nakedness. We talked about embarrassments, modesty, acceptance, our own dislikes about our own bodies, and the way others saw us. We talked about what we hid from others, how we made sure to never let our barriers down, how cautious we were about so many of life’s things that had caused us pain, embarrassment, or humiliation. We talked about everything, openly.

One day, the swim-day finally happened. (yes, in a public pool with swimsuits… no skinny dippin’!)To me, it was a huge event. Going swimming, to me, is one of The Most Vulnerable activities I could ever do. To me, it creates vulnerabilities, and opportunity for criticism, mean comments. For some reason, more harm has come to my heart by swimming than any other activity. While swimming is one of My all time favorite things to do, it is also one of my most feared! Some of the greatest memories in life come from swimming, or activities directly connected. But also, some of my greatest setbacks also have come from swimming. Some of the biggest walls I have ever put around my heart, soul, and body come from swimming. Agreeing to go swimming would place both of us in an extremely vulnerable place. We both have such deep issues regarding our bodies. Often, before I have ever been swimming with anyone, they have seen me in various states of undress, often even naked. Often before swimming, usually that person and I have had other items we had spent casual time doing. Often I had seen the other in various stages of dress, or undress, too. It is funny how I could be naked and not feel as vulnerable as I do in a swimsuit. But this day was fully a swimsuit day… In fact it was not just a swimsuit, but also a pair of athletic shorts underneath to be sure I allowed no visibilities of any details of what was below the swim trunks. I am not like most men, in that I wear traditional swim trunks… ya know the ones with only a three or four inch inseam, instead of those baggy pants that come down below the knees. This too would allow an opportunity for mocking, criticism, and other potential harmful comments. I was scared to death!! But I still went… and even tho’ I was scared, I knew she was safe. I Knew (and Hoped!)

The day of the swimming, we did not go to the pool as soon as I got there. Instead, we talked for hours about some of our more in-depth pasts. We talked, let ourselves be free, and trusted. She asked me more about my love of being naked, knowing I had such insecurities about my own body. She had still never seen any pictures of me, nor seen my body in any revealing way, so it was still going to be hard for me to allow her to see me in a swimsuit. While we were talking, her friend Sarah showed up unexpectedly. She seemed nervous with what was happening in her own life to have me suddenly there… so to relax her, I invited her to swim with us. Sarah did not have anything to wear, so I joked about “we should just go naked”. Sarah laughed at this, but Kara was not about to entertain that thought! (and it was a public pool, so it likely would be frowned upon). She found a pair of shorts, and a bra (which was too big for Sarah, but would keep her from being seemingly naked… although as soon as she was in the water, it only enhanced how it did not cover… but we all were comfortable with this, and it helped me to forget my own vulnerabilities. Sarah was not shy, nor worried about what showed, using the bra and shorts as only visual covers, not truly hiding anything. I had arrived at Kara’s already wearing my swim trunks, plus my shorts under for full-hiding-cover. This eliminated the dreaded getting undressed, and into my swimsuit there.

We went swimming. We relaxed. None of us worried, or made the other feel vulnerable, or uncomfortable. It was absolutely safe, comfortable, and fun! Not once was anything said about my body, nor even once was it stared-at like it was the weirdest thing they’d ever seen! I think this was the very first time in my life this had happened! Kara did not realize that day how much she did for me. It was a huge thing for me!! She accepted me, and did not once use my body against me in any way! I had already known Kara was safe, and I hoped I could trust her. That day, she showed me more trust than I ever could have imagined! That to me is The Most valuable thing ever!!

Another swim day never came up, as our schedules just never matched. Also, the kiosk she worked at changed ownership, and The Pretzels were no longer sold there. She still worked there, so of course I would go and visit regularly. We continued to talk more about life, and anything that came up. We were both safe, comfortable, and trusted the other. This was friendship!.... Ahhh.

We discussed more about my naked lifestyle, and also how she never would want to see me naked. I understood this, and would never try and force anyone to see naked if they do not want to. It is a huge part of who I am, but also a part of this world that most do not welcome. Kara is not alone in this area. I am used to having to enjoy my naked activities without those I call my closest friends. Sure, it saddens me, but at the same time, I value that I even have friends to share parts of my life with. I would not be so selfish to only accept another human in my world Only if I could be naked near them.  I have found some who do welcome naked, even find they themselves can enjoy being naked, when they had thought previously they could not. I cherish each person for who they are, and allow them to fit into my world wherever it is they fit… comfortably.

Last Thanksgiving, Kara invited me to join her. I accepted. This is also huge, because as a general rule, I Never go to anyone’s home for Thanksgiving, and also seldom, if ever eat turkey. But I accepted her invite, and actually was looking forward to the turkey, too! During this Thanksgiving, I pulled some of my previous blogs up for her to read. She had not read any of these before, So this too was a new look into my world… a  view she had only glimpsed through our talks. One of the blogs I briefly showed her was about Naked Snow Angels… and without forcing nudity on her, showed her one photo of my naked backside, wearing Fairy-wings, in the snow. She absolutely loved this, and told me how The Butt is totally acceptable naked, it was just the front she wished to not see. I also could understand this! I loved that she was comfortable with the butt, and found it to be harmless. I showed her a few more of my naked backside, and saw from watching her that she actually enjoyed this, and was not in any way threatened, uncomfortable, or even just “tolerating” it. So, it seemed we established that as long as she only saw my butt, not my penis, it would be acceptable.

In December, I moved into an apartment in Downtown Vegas, instead of where I had been living way out in the ghetto. I was now centrally located, and my home was convenient in Kara’s daily comings and goings. She would now stop in for a chat, or just to say hi. Each time, making sure to tell me before she came to be sure I had clothes on.

Several months later in February, I took both Her and Sarah shopping at thrift stores. At first Kara n Sarah were not sure about shopping with a guy for clothes, so I just let them peruse the women’s clothes, while I went through the rest of the store. In the Men’s corner, somehow, I happened to spot a Funny Christmas G-string. For some reason, I actually picked it up, looked at it with a humorous grin, and noticed it was close to my size. Why on Earth I even ever looked at it, or picked it up, I could not tell ya! All my life, I have viewed G-strings, in any fashion as purely sexual, purely for the “Look at me”, “Look, I am drawing attention to my penis”, or “Look at this package”. Sure, I have seen some funny ones over the years, and even appreciated those I have seen wearing them… but that was for them, not for me. For me, it screamed “sexual” or “attention to the penis” when all my life, that was the last thing I ever wanted, or desired. I had come to the conclusion that there was no way, and no reason I EVER would wear one. Period.

I ventured back to where Sarah n Kara were shopping. They noticed I was truly aware of women’s clothes, and even was admiring various items, talking to them about what would fit, and what would not. I have always enjoyed shopping with women, and find it quite a good way to connect. Somehow in discussions of various items we looked at, the topic of covering, or revealing came up. Sarah joking asked if I’d wear something she held up, and even some of the other ladies in the area got into the fun with me, too. Then I told them about the G-String I had seen, thinking every one of them would laugh, but not one would find it acceptable to even mention, or to possibly entertain the idea of actually wearing it. Kara was the first to show excitement about it.

I was a bit surprised! Kara actually seemed enthusiastic about the idea of me wearing a Christmas G-string! And the others all chimed-in, too!! I was kinda baffled, and even thought they were mocking me. But It was genuine enough that I asked further. Kara did not look one-bit embarrassed, but very happy to explain that it would make it comical, and fun, instead of in any way sexual. She even expressed how it would “Cover your thingy”. Which made me smile. (she would not say the word “penis” ever). She explained how if she came over to my place, I could wear that and for me, it would be “like naked” but for her it would make it comfortable. I was interested, and curious about this thought-process. She got my attention, since I had never looked at it that way. The idea that it could be purely fun, not in any way drawing attention to “my thingy” was a whole new concept for me! I asked some more, and even ALL the ladie (some old, some young) agreed with Kara.

Still not so sure, I decided the only way to convince them this was not gonna be good was to go back and get it, bringing it to them for them to see it themselves. I was positive that just seeing it in my hands, they would insist they were wrong, and wanted me to put it back quickly. Well, to my surprise, and even a little bit of embarrassment, they had the opposite reaction! They wanted me to try it on right there and show them! I was not about to do THAT!... But I had seen a different view on this than I ever had before. I DID Hold it up in front of me, and watched their reactions. They all agreed they liked it, and I should buy it… after all, even if I NEVER wore it, it would be worth the dollar just to have bought it. So I did.

I took it home that day, thinking I really never would wear it… Although I did put it on, and take pictures, just for grins and giggles. Then I tucked it away, thinking I might tease Kara about wearing it sometime, but likely never would. Just the fact that she had convinced me to buy it, and I even put it on, AND Took pictures… That was a huge step! Kara was someone I trusted, and I valued that she got me to look at it differently.

Many months went by, and I never got the opportunity to wear it. Each time she happened to stop by, I was usually on my way out to work, and was already dressed… Or I had just happened to have been outside, and already had clothes on. So it seemed that while we both joked about it, I likely would never really wear it for her. But it still made us both smile at the thought of it. Simply the thought that we had both agreed to this was huge!

Then in May, She was coming by, and texted me to let me know she was on her way. I was in the shower at the time, so I saw my opportunity to surprise her with the g-string. I had barely gotten out of the shower as she arrived. My front door was already open, with just a curtain across the opening. I was still mostly wet, and as she came to my door, I put the g-string on. She said “Knock Knock”. I told her through the curtain, I had just barely gotten outta the shower. She hesitantly said, “so you are still naked…” I pulled the curtain back, knowing she expected to see me naked, and watched as she realized I was not naked, but was wearing her g-sting. The look of pure delight, surprise, relief, and absolute joy was perfect! She smiled hugely, and hugged me.  As she hugged me, I wondered how she felt about hugging  me while mostly naked. She did not seem to feel like it was in any way uncomfortable, or weird. Then had me step back so she could look. She was grinning so big! I was totally nervous, mortified, scared, and not sure what to expect. The smile on her face made me relax. She asked if she could take pictures. I told her “Of Course!” I knew I had come a long ways, and if I was willing to allow pictures, AND for her to examine me more while wearing this, she was Absolutely safe, comfortable, and one of my most trusted friends! Plus I valued her opinion, and was happy to allow her to have this “thrill”. I had to admit, while it was scary, it also was a thrill to me, too! Not a thrill in any sort of sexual way, but a thrill in a “new-found freedom, new-found acceptance, and new-way to view something I had previously been closed-minded about. Of course I was nervous! But when she showed how comfortable it was for her, I knew it had its purpose. I guarantee if I had been naked, she would not have been even able to hug me, or look at me, and would have been totally flustered.

Kara's View, and The Picture she took!

How I greeted Kara... and The Picture she took!

I am sure even just greeting her in underwear would not have been so good. Besides, I am more unique than just to greet someone in underwear... For it to be me, It's gotta be different! Also, This G-string was perfect because of how she helped me to decide to buy it, especially for her comfort, And because of the silliness of it being a Christmas G-string (complete with Bells!).

Then later in May, I went to one of my favorite places to escape, and took this G-string with me to The Wetlands. No, Kara would not have been there, but I had another fun idea. For a while, I have entertained the idea of wearing some funky-silly outfit out hiking, simply for the fun photos I could create. I am always looking for fun ideas for my photos (often they just happen, and not much planning is needed). Many times, the places I end up taking naked pictures of myself, or the funny props I manage to place in front of my naked body make the scene so much more fun. So this Christmas G-string idea, out hiking in the desert, or in a waterfall, or some other idea just made me laugh. I knew if I took a picture of me wearing this out in nature, and sent it to her, it would make her smile.... Here, You Decide:



Just a couple weeks ago, I had done the same thing, and while I was not sure I would stop and see her after leaving the wetlands, I took it with me, just for fun. Late that night, I stopped by her home on my way back into town. She was home, and happy to have me stop by. We had already planned to go shopping the next day. It was late, and we were both exhausted, so she asked if I wanted to sleep on her couch, saving me a trip home and back, plus we could have a chance to talk. I agreed.

She offered to wash the sweaty clothes I had worn hiking. This left me with just two items I could wear: my G-string, and a pair of Spandex fun short-shorts. I stripped, and got in the shower.

After my shower, I put on the short shorts. She did not mind these either. She was truly comfortable, safe, and I could trust her. She knows how much I love naked, so She told me I was more than welcome to be naked, sleep naked, and relax naked  after she went to bed in her room, and since she would not likely be awake before me, it would not bother her. I did end up naked, although I had not really planned to be (somehow, I lost my shorts in the couch during the night, and when I woke, briefly on the floor, I had no idea where they were. I was under a blanket, so just remained naked, and went back to sleep.) She did wake in the morning before I did, and took her dog out. I woke briefly when she came through the living room, and told her I was naked, and lost my shorts. She laughed, and was not freaked out by this. This also was huge! She was comfortable with me being naked in her home… just not showing her. She told me she was going back to sleep, left the dog with me, but also left her door open this time. She, too was comfortable sleeping with me there, knowing I was naked.  I slept a bit more, then got up, made coffee, looked through the photos I’d taken the day before, and relaxed. I even got some writing done. I did all this naked while she slept. And it felt comfortable, not like I was sneaking, or getting away with anything. Then I went to shower. She still had not waken, but I was not worried, she needed her rest. After my shower, I put on the Christmas G-string, and relaxed some more, still out in the living room.

Around three, I decided it was time to wake her so we could get going for shopping, and I could get home before late. I went in to wake her wearing the G-string. She smiled. She really enjoyed that I could wear this around her. Her words were “It’s so fun, and Like you are naked, but not!” Then as she walked down the hall behind me, she laughed as she looked at my butt in my G-string. It was a good laugh, not a mean laugh. She really enjoyed what this did for each of us. I stayed in my G-string until the laundry was finished, and we dressed to leave. The whole time I was wearing my G-string, she did not once look uncomfortable, or like it was weird. She actually seemed to not have a care in the world about it…other than the times it made her grin a bit. I gotta admit, I am QUITE Surprised how much a G-string can make for a comfortable situation, and how helpful it really can be!

Perhaps you are of the belief (like I Was) that a G-string has to be sexual. Perhaps you could find a friend that will help you get out of your comfort zone, help you to seek new ventures, new discoveries, and a new way to look at something you thought you never could, or would! I have found some incredible joy in discovering new ways to approach things that might otherwise have created a problem. Even at 45 years of age, I am open to admitting I may need to change some of my views. I am thankful for a friend like Kara that will help me to explore, understand, and accept a new way of looking at things! Who knows what I might find comfort, acceptance, and trust in as I grow, learn , explore, and welcome new things to help those of us who occupy this world we live in. I Hope you have a Wonderful Day! 

Nude Photography without Censors

A Nude Photo Does Not Need to be Censored... and can still show full-nudity, without shoving anything in anyone's face.


In a recent discussion with a friend who wanted to do an interview with me about a nudist's life-style, she also mentioned how she likely would put a Censor-bar over any photos showing certain parts. I Objected, stating that doing so only defeats the entire purpose. 

Her concern was, however, very valid, in that the purpose for her desire to take the photos in the first place was partly for her own blog, and partly (possibly) for her journalism class. Her concern was in showing full-nudity to people that may not be comfortable with such a view... or even who may not expect such a sight. I can totally understand, and agree with that.

I Am A Nudist. I live as much of my life as possible without clothes. Among other things, I also am an avid photographer. So, it would not be shocking to also have plenty of photos of myself naked, enjoying life, and not at all ashamed of showing who I am, how I live, and how I do so many daily things the same as anyone else... just without clothes.

What is most shocking to Most Americans is the discovery that naked is not at all illegal, is not necessarily sexual, and is in fact completely family-friendly. (It becomes Illegal, and also non-family friendly Only when it is done in a sexual, lewd, or obscene manner.) Someone living life simply naked is not at all lewd, obscene, or sexual. That is how I live my life.

This brings us to the photos... and How you can creatively photograph a naked person. All of the following photos Are taken by Me, and also are of Me... Living life fully naked.
~Just a Word OF Warning~ 
Every One Of These Photos shows Me Naked. ...
... But You will not see any full-frontal nudity.  I am showing how Anybody can view a Naked Photo, and not Be forced to view what they might not wish to see. ... Proceed with An Open Mind.... Or Closed Eyes.  If You are not sure if you are comfortable in viewing a naked person, then By all means, Please feel free to go away.... or possibly you want to see if this is comfortable for you? Great! Scroll with an open mind... and I bet ya find yourself laughing, smiling, and enjoying your day.

There are Many creative options when taking pictures, and not wanting to fully show frontal-nudity. These are some of my favorites. ... ~Enjoy!~

You could dress as "Peter Pan":

Or, You could Share a Cuppa Coffee:





















You could Wear a Scarf... Because it's Cold Outside!




















Using Various forms of lighting can change the view of the photo. Whether you choose direct sun, creating a Sun-flare effect, or using the lighting in a way that creates a silhouette...
Various lighting options creates a completely different view:

You Might Be Hidden Creatively Behind Flame!




                                            Perhaps You happen to have a Hat....

Or some Shrubbery....


Often, Just Simply using The Body without any objects Creates a Fun Photo!
























Maybe You have Some fun Relic of a time long gone...



























Perhaps, You don't Mind Seeing The Butt...

Or, Finally, Maybe You can use The Darkness of Night to be Creative:

There are So Many Fun Options to Photographing Naked Humans! I hope as you explore, learn, grow, and have fun in life, you also are finding ways to be free, and capture the moment in a photo... or twenty. ~=:-)

Nude Photography doesn't Need to Be Censored

Why Would You Put a Black Censor-Bar on a Perfectly Good Photo?

This is how Blog ideas are formed. A topic comes-up in general conversation. Often it is discussed, and various ideas are batted-about. Ya think it was a simple conversation, but then once you have gone to bed, it comes to life in your over-active mind, keeping you awake, and flooding the mind with so many thoughts about the original topic.

My friend Kim is a writer, photographer, and aspiring Journalist. She has been writing for 18 years. And pursuing photography as she has grown in life. She currently is going to school for her Journalism Degree. I Absolutely love, respect,and admire that at the age of 32, she is returning to school and pursuing her goals in life! In her learning, growing, and achieving new levels of what has always been part of her passion, she is pushing her own boundaries, comfort-levels, and learning to look at things in new ways. For many years she has already proven to be good at what she does. In addition to her photography, and writing, she also is undertaking the battle of weight. She not only is growing in her field, but also shrinking at the same time. (You might ask what losing weight has to do with her writing? Well, She also is a blogger. One of her blogs is called Who Took My Donut?) She approaches life with a non-traditional view. She is a success at losing weight, while still enjoying an occasional pizza, cheeseburger, and fries.  (She is a friend of mine... so Ya Know without a doubt, she likes food!~Duh!) It has not been easy for her, but that is what makes it a personal challenge, and why she is inspired to write about it. She also is married to a wonderful man who happens to be a professional photographer, loves food, and has a great sense of humor. Their passions and desires in life merge well together. 

You might wonder how any of this connects to me... and how we became friends? 

Well, the simple answer would be: Photography.

But of course, there really is no simple answer. Yes, we met through our mutual passions for photography. Strange as it may sound, Yes, we met online. We found our photography, and paths in life often intersected with each other's lives. For many months, it seemed we had just passed one another in our comings and goings around the not-so-big big-city of Las Vegas. (My own humorous poke at how Vegas people think Vegas is a Big-City, when it really is a tiny little town.) Our paths crossed many times, and finally Kim, Her Hubby John, and myself planned a meet-up. We've found much mutual ground, plus much not-so-mutual ground. In the discoveries of what meshes and what does not, we've also discovered that my life as a nudist is not a threat to either Kim or John. They have welcomed who I am, even come to my home knowing I am gonna be nekkid. 

And Just to make it clear: No, We are not at all involved in any way sexually! I know all-too-often the first thing people think of when it involves nudity is that it must be sexual. I am a non-sexual person. I am not in any way interested in anything sexual. I am simply a person who loves to live life naked. Kim and John are in no way interested in me in a sexual way either. They accept me as the human I am, who just happens to be nekkid. Now, How does all of this connect to Naked photography, and the topic of the censoring of pictures? Simple... sorta:

Kim has also pushed her own boundaries in photography. In my own opinion, she is an excellent photographer!  Like almost any artist, or creative-type, we often seek new skills, new ideas, and explore ways to expand our passions. One of the greatest challenges to any photographer is to capture another human in a way that feels natural, not staged, and for the photograph to convey to anyone viewing it the same feeling. When Kim and John came by my place one day, after noticing it really was comfortable to be around me while I was nekkid, plus I was not in any way acting weird about them seeing me nekkid, she asked if she could take some pictures. Of course I agreed.

She took a bunch of photos, and found it was fun, and free. The lighting in my home was a challenge, and she enjoyed the opportunity to be allowed to  experiment, push her boundaries, and not feel it was awkward. Her husband also enjoyed watching how she pursued this, plus how I welcomed it. While she got a bunch of fully-visible naked photos, she also got some fun ones that show I am naked, without actually showing the parts most people do not want to see. Here is one of those (My Favorite!) and if ya click the photo, you can see the entire set. (But be warned, in the rest of the photos, I am fully, visibly naked... I am not ashamed of this, just want you to know before you see something you are not wanting to see.)

This photo Is absolutely my favorite of the entire set! ...and which leads me to the topic of this post. That topic is "Nude Photography without Censors".

As she and her hubby were leaving, she asked if I would be open to allowing her to practice more nude-photography, using me as her experiment. I totally agreed. While I hid my body for much of my life, I also have always welcomed anyone who is safe, comfortable, and trusted to look, touch, learn, explore, and find their own level of comfort about the human body using my own as an experiment. Now that I do not hide, I am even more welcoming of others' desire to learn, explore, and expand their own boundaries. I make clear my own boundaries, and know how to say no, or draw the line so I am never put in a bad-situation. I have grown immensely in my own acceptance of who I am, and happily help others pursue their own growth.

In Kim's pursuit of Her Journalism, and photography to go along with that, she is learning more about interviews, and how to capture the person of interest.

Last night, she presented this to me in an Instant message/ Chat...

"okay, i gots a question for ya

i have no clue offhand what direction i'll go with or how the fawk i'll write it to begin with but i would like to do an interview of sorts with ya about your nekkid lifestyle."

Of course, I agreed. (Whoa~! What just happened to my font?? Hehe! After I copied and pasted her question, this new font somehow became my own font... Just goes to show my lack-of computer knowledge... Oh well, I like it, and have no idea what it is, but will go with it, until it somehow goes a different direction. .... You are beginning to see how my mind jumps. Just enjoy the ride, and have fun with my random mind!) ~=:-)

But after agreeing to the original part, she then threw at me this:

"WOOHOO!!

and this will go on the kim ulmanis site ya know"

Again, to which I am fully willing to be part-of. (The "Kim Ulmanis Site" is her newest blog, which is just beginning, but will focus more of her writing, and photography.)

Then she took me by surprise adding This:

"if i do post any fully nekkid photos i'll probably put a black bar over your lower half.

over a certain part that is"

THAT is what got my brain going! It sent me totally telling her how wrong I thought that was, and how I did not support the use of the black-bar. I did not tell her off, or tell her I would not still allow her to photograph me. It was simply just making clear what, as a nudist, my view of censoring was. We had some good exchanges about what and why it is used. I totally agree that full-on naked photos are not always appropriate, especially since she is doing this for her classes, plus for her own web-site, which is not necessarily going to feature full-on nudity. I mentioned how creative photography can be used to capture a fully-naked person without being too revealing. Often a creative photo can show full-nudity, yet at the same time never reveal anything to the viewer. 

I suggested we could do some fun, creative photos in nature, or with other items which would show the point she wished to capture, but not be so revealing in that it shocked her class, or would somehow not be acceptable on her blog page. I totally am not wanting to cause offense, or make anyone uncomfortable. But I am totally against the use of a black-bar placed across a photo.

She agreed, asking me to write down some ideas, and we could further discuss the ideas soon.

I understand her trigger-response to want to put a black-censor-bar on a photo. That, sadly is what people are taught. They are taught that somehow viewing the human body is bad, shameful, or even illegal. People are taught that somehow simply naked is not to be viewed. It is a mind-set that is difficult to alter. Most people have been taught that naked is illegal, when it is not. Most people have been taught that in the media, journalism, or anything related to this field is not allowed to show a fully-naked human...Ever. (Funny, tho' how if her area of schooling was in The Arts, instead of Journalism, naked would be perfectly acceptable... but that is another subject.) While I will never understand where this thought and teaching comes from, I DO understand that most people believe this. So, I cannot blame Kim for automatically thinking the same thing. But I would not be true to myself if I did not take a stand against her using any photos of me with such a censor in place. I can and will work towards pursuing other options, and creativity.

I believe too often people have been taught naked is always sexual. I believe most people somehow think naked is about seeing someone's genitals... and they focus on that exactly. (maybe not with the camera, but with the mind.) Part of my own battle in life was to finally allow myself to think freely, and not to think like I had somehow been taught. I had to accept my own body before I could allow another to see me naked. I had to also learn to look at the naked body just as I would look at the clothed body. It is a human. It is not a genital. I do not blame Kim one bit for automatically thinking "Censor". That is what she's been taught. I applaud her for accepting my rebuttal of such a thought, though. I applaud her for being open to other options. 

In my thoughts of where I should go with this idea of creative photography, verses censoring, I have many wonderful photos I can show as examples. My own pursuit of presenting my life as a naked human without being too graphic for many, plus showing how simply naked is truly Family-friendly, and in no way sexual.... I have managed to come up with quite a collection of photos showing exactly that. Following this post, I will put together a separate post showcasing ideas of how creative photography can show full-nudity, yet not at all show the nudity. 

I will leave ya with one more photo. This one was also taken by Kim, showing she is already aware of how to be creative in capturing the nudity, without needing a censor-bar.

Coffee Anyone? ~grin!

Meanwhile... Hope ya find your creative way to photograph the subject you wish to capture!

~=:-)