You Seek a Relationship? With One Person? Why?

You seek a relationship? With Only One Person? Why?

So many people in life seem to always be looking for their next relationship, seeking their partner, feeling incomplete unless they are in a relationship.

To me, one cannot do anything with another, until they have learned who they themselves are, are happy with themselves, and do not NEED another for their own happiness, but rather once they are happy in their life, then another can come in and make it so much more enriching. So many people tend to always seek to be connected to another, never allowing themselves to truly learn who they are as an individual.

Obviously there is much to be gained, given, shared, understood, and thrive-upon any time any people find a connection, trust, understanding, and have common goals in life.

I cannot understand why people seek their “Soul-mate”, “Life-partner”, or “Significant-other”. To Me, that seems like they are limiting their potential, settling for only partial love, and not really seeking to give and receive all the love they were designed for. In my observations, the one(s) that are meant to be together will happen to work-out, without anyone going looking, forcing it, or trying to make it happen. I cannot understand why anyone seems to think they are not complete until they have attached themselves to another. (Kinda matches the whole calling someone "My Other Half" ... Seems to suggest you are not willing to be whole as you were created, but that you need someone before you can truly be who you were meant to be.)

All My life the way humans tend to go about life, especially relationships, baffles me. Often to the point that I truly wonder if I really am at all Human, or just somehow dropped amongst them, and supposed to figure out how to fit-in.

The notion that there should be a “Soul-mate”, or “The One” to me is so outrageous that I wonder why so many limit themselves, and refuse to find the capacity of love they truly could experience.  Now don’t get me wrong. In no way am I suggesting people should not commit to one another, or denouncing that there really is chemistry, balance, and love between any given two (or more) people. I just feel that as complex Humans that we are, there is so much more to give and receive between people than can be achieved in a one-on-one basis.

Another thing that baffles me in the way people go about getting in a relationship is how often one will try to force it. Clearly, a relationship should be built on mutual feelings, mutual connections, and when two or more people feel they are drawn into one another’s lives.

When someone feels they are “supposed to be with” another, yet it is one-sided, that is a clear sign that the feeling is not a true connection, and certainly not a basis for “building” a relationship from. This would in many cases be what is called “stalking”. The infatuation, or desire of the one to “Be with” the one who is not feeling the same often will push away the one not as interested, and because the pursuer was convinced it really was a connection, they will suddenly claim to have “gotten their heart broken”. Desperation, or acts of being desperate seldom will gain positive results.

One thing I have always done consistently in my life is to be up front, and honest about my intentions, feelings, goals, and desires. While knowing who I am, and what I do or do not want in life would seem to be a great quality. However for some odd reason, those are also confusing and puzzling to those who do not yet know themselves and what they like or do not like in life. My suggestion to anyone is to always get to know yourself before you attempt to include another in your life.

I certainly will never claim to be any sort of “Relationship Expert”, But I DO know what is and is not good for me in life. If I tell someone what I do not seek, and do not want, yet they seem to think they can convince me to do those things just because They want them, they get a hard smack of reality when I shut the door in their face.  If I tell someone who is angling toward “making me their boyfriend” that I am absolutely not interested in that sort of relationship, yet they still have the notion they will continue to pursue me in that way, they will find a locked door between us fast!

I also am an anomaly in the sense that I am Asexual. Period. That means exactly that. I Am not at all interested in sex, am not seeking sex, will not have sex. Does not matter male, female, gay, bi, trans, or anything in-between. I do not like, want, desire, or seek sex in any way. This confuses people, because I also happen to be a nudist. For too many on this Earth, they equate naked with sex. So to see a male naked, they just cannot grasp that I am not seeking sex. I go into great detail about my lack of sexuality in many other posts. This one is devoted to relationships.

Oddly, also, many seem to think the whole purpose of a relationship is for sexual pleasure. For some it may be. For me, not at all. If I get into any relationship, it is absolutely Emotional, Mental, Spiritual, and for the feelings that are shared, never for any sexual desires.  

With all that is said above, you might be wondering what, exactly might lead me toward a relationship? Well, I have been in many relationships that were absolutely wonderful! Some have been only between myself and another, but most of the cherished ones have been when it is more than just two individuals. Yes, I know this may baffle you, and your thoughts are going all sorts of places. 

But let me try and help make it not seem so wild:

I am not talking about Swingers, or even Open Relationships. Those are definitely sexual in nature. A relationship including more than two people happens when everyone involved is mutually accepting of each other, completely honest, completely open, and completely understanding with No hidden agendas, often everyone involved is involved together. Again, this is about relationships, love, spiritual, mental, and emotional well-being, Not about Sex! (Although sex may occur between those who agree and desire, it usually is not like an orgy, or wild sex stuff.)  Each person brings something different to the relationship, making for more love, understanding, and comfort. As humans, we are complex in ways that limiting yourself to only one person in a relationship means that you will not fulfill every aspect of your being.

If you have never given that any sort of thought, it can be mind-boggling. Most are taught that a relationship should be limited to only two people. (not even sure what that stems from, but it is a common thought in most of our society) Think about it this way: You have many best friends, right? Each one fits in your life in a little bit different way than the others. You would never consider that you should only have one friend, eliminating all the others. But when it comes to “traditional” relationships, you choose one person. You marry that one person, and push out all the other best friends you had. Pretty soon you realize you miss what they contributed to your life, but say something along the lines of “Well, I am happily married.” Now, think about how wonderfully enriched your life would be if instead of pushing out the friends because you got married, that you include them in your marriage.  I know, it boggles your mind, because you have never before been taught you are allowed to think that way.  

The notion of Loving more than one person is not new, nor in any way something that was created just to fulfill someones strange notion. The idea of many loves, all included, open, and honest with one another is as old as mankind. The difference is you have been taught that you are not supposed to love more than one person. To me, that teaching is a sad thing. Humans were made to love, help, encourage, uplift, and support one another. We were not made to isolate, separate, and keep one only to ourselves. Nor were we made to be isolated. Our love is meant to be shared. The more we give, the more we receive. Imagine if everyone on this Earth felt loved? Imagine if everyone felt secure enough to Give Love? Don’t you think that if you were allowed to give love to as many as you possibly could, you also would receive ten-fold the amount you gave? That exactly is what I am referring to when I say relationships should not be limited to only one person. That is isolation.

PolyAmory is a term that seems to have come into use a lot lately. Seems to me someone needed a term, or category to fit a lifestyle that has been around since the beginning of mankind. This, too baffles me: The need to “Categorize” everyone and everything. I have never understood why everything people do needs to fit some sort of pre-defined category, label, or group, but that is what makes some happy, so they create these to find a place their lives “Fit”. But anyhow, Poly-Amory, or Poly-Amorous are both becoming popular. While I do not agree with every aspect this page posts, it is a good one for answering some of the more frequently asked questions about how having more than one love can affect people. Here is the page: https://www.morethantwo.com/polyamory.html

Whatever you choose to call it, I hope you can call it love.

I have been in many wonderful relationships in my life. Some have been with only one person, but the most fulfilling ones have been when I was in a relationship with many someones at the same time. Each of those was done in the manner that everyone involved was in agreement of what the relationship was. Nothing was hidden. All were aware, consenting, and agreeable in what roles each played.

Yup, I also have been in relationships with married couples. Sometimes, the fit is absolutely perfect. Instead of being a “third-wheel”, I am “the other husband”. Think about that for a second, and think about who I am and what I am all about, you will see how it fits nicely. There is an old saying that goes something like this:

Found this on Pinterest, Here:

Now, of course we all know that is a joke. But in reality, wouldn’t it be great to fulfill all that? Well in the type of relationship I refer to, it is a Reality! I have been in many like this in my life. None were exactly like this funny sign, but all were equally fulfilling, where each person fulfilled a different area of the relationship. It is absolutely empowering, wonderful, and fulfilling to be in such a relationship. Keep in mind, unlike the funny picture, we all agreed to let each other know what we each wanted, and what was good by one, or better by another.  I have been in many just like this in my life. Nope, we never hid it, although most who did not know us well assumed we were just joking about the nature of our relationships.  Naturally, my role was not in the sex department. But often the emotional, spiritual, even sensual led to those who were in the sex area to have a more fulfilling experience. I am perfectly fine with not being included in the sex, but also perfectly fine with helping those who wish to achieve it to make it more fulfilling. Everyone wins!

The only time a relationship like this is harmful is when one person decides they want a one-on-one relationship, instead of the fulfilling one they had been in for years. When they seek a one-on-one without being open and honest with the others they are already with, it will be desructive, instead of positive. If it is a woman marrying a guy who was not fond of her having friends that were guys, sadly, the woman will leave all her fulfilling relationships, and go isolate herself with that one guy who was not willing to see her totally happy. Often, it is a new guy that enters a relationship where there are more than two people and he is not willing to join the relationship, or even get to know the others, but decides he wants to take that gal away from what makes her happy. Sadly, the lady will often go, and later lament how sad she is, or attempt to meet with her friends secretly for fulfillment. But anything done in secret never works out in a positive way.  Everyone loses when one in a group relationship decides to not tell, or include the new interest in the more-than one relationship. For them to work, everyone must always be aware of everyone else involved, and accepting of it, or it will fall apart real fast. Integrity, honesty, and openness are the key. As soon as one of those is gone, there is no longer a trust, and it all must go away.

The only way to have a true relationship is to be open and honest. When one is isolated, they lose their happiness. But if they wait until it is too late to present what they know to be a great way to have relationships, it cannot be done. It must be open from the beginning, or it will fail.

It has been a few years since I have been in any relationship at all, and I am totally fine with that. I am not seeking to be joined to anyone. Although it is jokingly tossed about that “Jon has many girlfriends”, and of course I play along with that, because it actually does appear that I am in many relationships, but in all reality, I happen to only interact momentarily with any of my supposed girlfriends.

I of course always joke about my “girlfriends”… Nor do I have any “boyfriends” either. Nope, I am not opposed to either. If someone, or many someones, came along that fit into my life, and uplifted my Spirits, emotions, and mental well-being, and I did the same for them, I absolutely would not hesitate to be in a relationship with them.  To me it should not matter if that human has a penis or a vagina, since those are merely physical aspects. I could love anything that has a soul … but is has to fit nicely with my own soul … a fit that would present itself without sacrifice, without convincing, without coercion. It would just fit, and happen, no planning, no hoping, no scheming.

I have often in my life been referred to as “An Angel”. This is not of my own choosing, nor would I call myself an Angel. However, when others refer to me as either “an Angel” or “Their Angel” or “Guardian Angel”, often outsiders will agree. I am ok with that. If I truly am an angel, and was sent to help with that person’s life, situation, or circumstances, I think there is no better “title”. But similar to any other Spirit, an Angel is not meant to be held by just one, nor would an Angel enter a relationship with the one they were sent to help. I do not understand why, but often those who call me “Angel” also seem to think I should be in a relationship with them. I guess I see it as “Keep your personal life separate from you work life”, Meaning: if I am an Angel, My work is to guide, protect, help, and get going in the right direction. My role would absolutely not be to claim that one as my own., or to in any way take on the role of “partner”.

As to why I say I do not need or seek a relationship, unlike most of the Humans on this Earth? Well, To make it simple, I am a Very Spiritual person. I connect with nature, with The Indian Spirit, and with The Eagle. Just like any of the above, if those are fenced, or placed in an unnatural environment, they will wither, and no longer be free-spirits. An Eagle is beautiful to watch, admire, and learn about. Tether or cage an Eagle, and it will no longer be of any interest because it will not be allowed to soar. Cut down a tree, and yes the wood is beautiful, and can be admired, but it no longer can stand tall, providing Oxygen, cleaning the air, or providing shade, and homes for numerous others in life. Remove an Indian from his plains, and wilderness, and he no longer can connect with the Free Spirit of the Universe, can no longer provide for his people, and can no longer thrive.  Similarly, if I was caged, I would no longer be who I am.

The ONLY way I will end up in a relationship is if someone happens to walk beside me in life, free in spirit, uncaged, and also stands tall in the wind, the sun, and all the elements of life. Wanna know who is the right one, or ones for me? The one(s) who happen to just fit into my life, or I happen to fit into theirs.   That someone, or someone(s) will be aware of who they are, know fully what they believe, but also be open to learning and changing as they grow and change in life. That person, or persons will know why they feel the way they do, will love themselves first, and thrive on helping others to feel that same freedom. The one(s) I end up in a relationship with will be Spiritual, Free, and full of Wonder.

Meanwhile, I do not wait around looking, seeking, or hoping for anyone that might choose to join me. I waited long ago, and I learned the hard way that only leads to disappointment. Now I go forward with my life, not looking over my shoulder to see if anyone is wishing they had tried to walk with me. If and when the day comes that I am meant to be with another, I will see them right beside me. It will not be a chase, nor a bargaining to get with them. I know fully who I am, and will happily welcome anyone who also has discovered who they are. But they gotta know who they themselves are before they could possibly want to join another.

You are welcome to watch me soar as an Eagle. You are welcome to enjoy the shade, or breathe my Oxygen of me as a tree, or even climb up me to get out of the flood swirling at your feet. You are welcome to ride the plains, worship the Spirits of The Universe, and be one with the wild animals with me as an Indian. I will even help you to find who you seek to be, but don’t think for a second I will be caged, or taken out of my nature.

Love Yourself first. You are a Beautiful Human. You were made unique, so that only you can decide what fits best in your life. Once you find who you are, then you will be amazed at what you can find in a relationship. 

Death... Why Complicate it?

Death… Why Do We Fear and Complicate it?

What is it about Death, Dying, and the Dead that we insist on making so complicated?

Why do humans insist on getting scared, fearful, irrational, or shocked when the topic of death is at hand?

Why do we have such a hard time grasping, understanding, and accepting death?

Why is Death A topic To write about today? Well, it is always a topic, daily… But recently I have been seeking more answers. Nope, not because I have recently encountered more death. But rather, because I have recently moved to a new neighborhood. Yeah, yeah, I know that will throw ya! You wonder how a new neighborhood could be more about death? Well, it really is about that. My walk-to-work daily now passes many things which bring this topic to the surface. The very first thing I saw the day I moved here is this:

This is a “memorial” that has been created on a street-corner. I absolutely hate these. (I will explain later).

The next thing I noticed was this:

It is a cemetery I walk past daily. (I will go into more detail about how I feel about these later).

But the reason I stopped to write about death today is because of a walk I took last night. (I will tell about that later, too ).

It is no secret that I accept, embrace, and even love the topic of death. (Note, I said “the topic of”… I will explain how that is different from loving death a little later) I do not get freaked-out, shocked, or even question death one-bit. Some would go so far as to say I am insensitive, unfeeling, and not caring about others’ lives. Some would say I am morbid, even a freak. It is easy for them to say these things, because they want to quickly dismiss my views without attempting to understand, or grasp what I know. If they have lived, and experienced what I have, they also would likely embrace my way of accepting death. They say ignorance is bliss… I disagree. I say information, knowledge, experience, and understanding are bliss. As a good example, I can compare how death affects most people, verses how it affects me. I am not the one who does irrational things when death is near. I am always balanced, accepting, and understanding. Those who do not have knowledge, understanding, and information are the ones who are in shock, disbelief, and have a hard time functioning.  

Now, Let me make it clear: I am never happy about a death, Never. Also, some think death does not sadden me just because I am not seemingly sad on the surface: My level of sadness when a living being dies is much deeper than just an outward- appearance for others to simply see on the surface. To understand and grasp the sadness I feel, one would have to tune-into my soul, my spirit, my energy, my every-cell. The way I am tuned –into feelings, energy, spirits, and souls, unless you look into the same areas, you will never understand what I feel every time a life ends.

Just because I love the topic of death, does not mean I love death. There is a huge difference.  The topic of death means learning, understanding, grasping, accepting, and being at peace with it. Because death is something that happens all around us, all our lives, and to every living being upon this earth, I choose to learn about it, instead of choosing to hide from it.

What I do not understand is why so many people seem to be shocked when death happens. I also do not grasp why so many pretend this is something they know nothing about. Why do so many think one kind of death is more of a loss than another kind? Why do some think it is so much worse if it is a child, compared to an adult? Why do people think a death occurred “too soon”, or “unexpectedly”? Why do some people think someone “left us too soon”, or that an age, any age is “Too early”?  There is no such thing as “dying too early”. It is not possible. A death can only happen when it is meant to happen. It cannot happen too early, or too late. No matter the age, when a death is supposed to happen, it will. Never a moment too soon, never a moment too late. A death is never “unexpected”. We learn from the moment we are created that this world is not ours, not our time, not our decision as to what happens, and when. We learn early in life that things happen when they are supposed to. If we choose to say it was “unexpected” that is only because we seemed to think we somehow had control over our universe. We do not. We must expect death, since it will happen to all life. This is something most choose to not admit, and why they are shocked when it happens. Every Life ends. It is not unexpected, unless we choose to not accept the truth.

Why do the news-agencies focus and highlight one type of death over another? (Such as a story that features the headline “Nine-people died, and One Child was lost”, or worse, they divide our humanity, based on country of origin: such as “In this horrible event, twenty people died, Five of them were ‘Americans’”. Or they even divide further to say what someone’s “ability” or “disability” was, such as: “In this event, Six people died, One was Deaf” (Or “in a wheelchair”, or had “Chrones disease”, or “had cancer”) Chooses any topic, and they seem to think they should label that person according to some special category. This is absolutely ridiculous! EVERY LIFE IS EQUAL. EVERY DEATH of ANY LIVING being is Equal. It is NOT a GREATER LOSS because someone was (Fill in the blank). We are all the same in the sense of life. Once it has ended, it is not a greater loss, or somehow more tragic. Stop dividing us. We Are ALL HUMAN. No age, no gender, no religion, no sexual-orientation, and no nationality is more important than another. Death does not change that.

The same is true, if not more-extreme, for actors, actresses, or famous people. Why is it when someone famous dies, so many people really freak out over it? Most of the time, those who are most-affected have never met that person.

EVERY DEATH IS THE SAME: It is a Life that has ended. It is Not a Greater loss, or somehow more important.  One of my biggest complaints about our world is the way people attempt to divide, instead of attempting to unite, and be as one world.

So, you might wonder what makes me such an expert on death? Ha! Hardly an expert. I just choose to learn from every experience in life. I choose to understand what life is all about. I choose to learn, and know what I have control over, and what I do not. From the moment each of our own lives was created, we are headed toward death. What we choose to do between creation and death is our own choice. Some choose to never learn, never grasp, and always be shocked by things that are common occurrences. I choose to find a way to be at peace with my world. I have been accused of noticing more details than most do. That could be by my own choosing, or it could be that I was gifted with an ability that enables me to focus on those things. One of the most important things I choose in life is to learn. I choose to learn from every moment, every experience, every feeling, every encounter. I choose to understand the things that were once a mystery. There is not enough time in a life to grasp everything we do not understand, so we must choose the ones we feel are most important to us. Why have I chosen to study, embrace, and understand death? Because of how it affects us if we do not. I can choose to not study how an engine of a car works, and continue to be baffled by it. Not understanding an engine will not send me into a tail-spin if suddenly it stops performing. Likewise, that is why death is something I have chosen to focus on. Not understanding why a life ended can have a major affect on my own life. We each must choose what areas of life we want to grasp. Most never want to grasp death, that is why it affects them so horribly.

For me, not learning about Death was not an option. I am not sure if it would be considered a blessing, or a curse to have experienced death often early in my life.  But I did. I had many deaths around me from the moment my own life began. Many do not believe a human understands what is happening around them from the moment they are born. You are welcome to believe anything you choose. I have always felt, seen, and grasped more than most think is possible. I was told as a child that I blew people’s minds by what I noticed, felt, and understood.

We ALL are surrounded by death from the moment we are created. How much we choose to notice, or are tuned-into is what varies from each of us. Sure, some are people we never knew. Some are close, and some just happen to be somewhere near our own little world. IF you wish, you can google lists of those who have died in your own lives. For me, the list is quite long. I Do not recall at exactly what age I was conscious of what exactly death was, but I know I learned and began to undertand it from the moment I was created.  I know that from the age of three, I DID ask why people were so weird about it. My parents were a bit surprised that I grasped what death was, and asked how I knew about it. I explained how many people had died that we knew, or knew of. They asked lots of questions about what I understood. I seemed to think it was weird that I knew about more deaths in our city than they did. I told them how I felt the deaths.

By the time I was five, I freely told people why I hated wars, and why I would never join the military. I do not like the idea of looking for conflict, and looking for reasons to kill others. I understood early how people joined militaries because they enjoyed conflict, and wanted a reason to kill others. Then they would pretend to be shocked and upset that they actually killed others. I never bought their excuses, and never pretended to either. I told them how they went looking for conflict, and they found it. I would tell them that no military exsits to create peace, and the only reason militaries exist is for war. People who join any military are doing it for conflict, killing, and to be more powerful than others. Death is part of military life, and when those who freely join seem shocked that they killed others, to me this is not a good excuse to pretend to be shocked. Yes, I totally understood the difference between those forced to join, and those who voluntarily joined. But even, so, Nobody joins any military with the impression it is for peace, or could claim to be shocked they had to kill someone.  

By the age of nine when Elvis died, I was not at all shocked. Yes, I knew who this famous person was, and listened often to his songs. I knew plenty about death by then. There were plenty of deaths in my life prior to that, and I remember asking why people were acting so strange about his death. So many told me “because he was famous”. Well, to that, I asked, “Isn’t Every Life Equal?”

I have learned that people do really weird things when a death happens. People do not understand how a soul, a spirit works. This, too, baffles me. Because I have always been tuned-in to what a living-being is, I had thought everyone understood this. But in life, I also have learned that the things that baffle me, also baffle others in different way. For each thing each of us understands, there is something we do not. 

Death, souls, spirits, and life are some of the things many do not, and never will understand. I do. No, I am not boasting, or saying I am better than anyone in any way. I am simply aware of what I grasp. This is one area of life I was gifted with that others were not. Each living being is gifted in different areas. That is what makes each of us all the more important in others’ lives. We must all join together to help each other learn, understand, and survive. My areas of strength are often the same areas that isolate me from others. So many people do not understand my strengths, and it scares them away. So many see my reaction (or more importantly- lack of reaction)- when a death occurs, and it makes them push me away, instead of them coming closer to learn more about how they could better understand what death is.

How does any of this have anything to do with my recent walks? Well, last night, I got an answer to one of my own ponderables that has perplexed me for the whole time I have lived in Vegas. Last night I decided to go for a walk through Sunset Park. From the very first time I visited Sunset Park three years ago, I have gotten an odd-feeling about it. Much like so many places in Vegas that are called “nature” it is hardly something I feel fits “nature”. Nature, to me is not sports-parks, bright lights, concrete, and man-made. To me, nature is a place where the earth is free, not built by man, and the vegetation, animals, and spirits are free to be as they would without man-forcing their own upon it. Sunset Park, to me from the moment I entered it should be Called “Sunset Memorial Park”.  I heard all about how this park had a lake, had lots of nature, and was a great place to escape. The very first thing I noticed when I got there was a feeling I could not place. It was a kind of eerie-un-resolved spiritual conflict. To me, it felt much like a mausoleum, modern cemetery, or one of those road-side memorials.

I have visited Sunset Park many times, and each time, it has the same feeling of spiritual imprisonment, and conflict. Until last night, I could not place why it felt that way. Last night, it hit me. What I noticed last night, was not what I could see, but rather what I could not see. The entire park recently had a complete renovation. What I noticed last night was the lack of what I thought so odd the first time I visited. Three years ago, Every tree in the park had a memorial plaque at its base. Now that the renovation has been completed, many of the plaques have been removed. (Whether removed just by accident as machinery re-shaped the ground, or by choice I will never know.) I also noticed many of the older trees had been removed, and many new ones were added. The new lighting, the concrete paths, and the way the park is now made, is a complete conflict, and has absolutely nothing resembling nature. It screams of man-made, removing all that is natural and free, and purposely placing what this culture wants to call “nature”.

This brings me to why Death is a topic today. I recently noticed how our culture has changed. It used-to be that when someone died, they were buried in the earth, and the cycle of life continued. 

As death occurred, humans used to place the body in the Earth so it could give back, and add the nutrients it once received. Cemeteries used to be places where you could feel the energy of positive release of the spirit. Even before cemeteries, once a body was placed into the Earth, it was allowed to be absorbed, and become free. Often a burial took place in a spot the life had thrived. This was the cycle of life. Even those who were cremated, gave back to the Earth. When their body was burned, all that was solid became the air we breathe. Their ashes were spread, often in a place that person had loved, lived, and thrived.  Farmers often would bury their dead in their own fields, knowing that it would bring greater harvest the following year, and years to come. You can even go back further, and look at how our Natives used to do burials. They understood how the cycle was supposed to go. Death Gives life.

My friend Andrea recently visited upstate New York, and posted pictures of really old cemeteries. In her pictures, you could feel a freedom, a peace. Here is one of those from Her:

 

Yup, I stole this photo from Andrea! (She knows) :)

 It feels like a place where the bodies were freed, where they are not sealed forever. A place that is not sterile, but healthy, full of energy, and has free spirits.

When did our world begin to treat a body as if it was somehow something bad, something that should be sealed up, never to again rejoin the Earth, never to become nutrients, and give life? It was her photos that made me realize what was wrong in today’s deaths. Now when a body dies, it is sealed into box, and placed in a vault. Some are buried in the earth, and some are sealed into a concrete structure above ground. 

No matter where it is placed, it is placed in a way that it will never be free. It is placed in a prison, forever. I do understand why Cemeteries became common. We as humans have a need to group, categorize things. We as a whole feel we must have a place where we can call a “final resting place”. We also are lazy. Most people would not go to the effort to dig a hole to properly bury a body. The lack of proper-burial caused problems, and laws were created making it illegal to bury a body in the Earth. Some say that decaying bodies pollute the water and other places. The Earth is amazing in how it takes care of itself. The ground is a natural filter. The body is absolutley not toxic when reunited with the Earth in the right way. When a body is placed in the ground, it is reclaimed by the earth in a natural way. It only becomes a problem when it is encased in a box that suddenly allows all the decay to become free, and only then is it toxic. The old cemeteries are wonderful, because they still allowed the body to decay. You can feel the free-spirits, and rejuvenated life created from death in those places.

Now when a body dies, it is immediately sealed up, and forever held captive, never allowing it to be free, never allowing it to give back to the Earth it got life from. Each life we seal-up, and forbid to give back, depletes our Earth from all the nutrients it needs. Then, when the “catastrophe” happens (such as a flood, earthquake, or other event) which causes those sealed remains to open-up, we have sudden pollution, sudden toxic events, and sudden spiritual releases. These cause conflicts, which could have been causing peace many years prior.

Now, when people die, people flock to where the death occurred.  People go and make memorials in the place the death occurred, seeming to want to hold onto the death, instead of finding a positive way. Now people want to forever remain in this moment. People, Let the spirit go free, do not cage it. Allow peace to happen, not create conflict. Celebrate the life that had been. Treasure the love that was shared.  Why on Earth would you want to focus on the death, instead of where the person thrived, where life, love, and freedom occurred. These memorials created where a person dies is a cruel, selfish act.  It is saying to the dead, “I do not want to allow your spirit to be free. I want your spirit to forever be trapped in this moment that took your life.” When a life ends, we have a responsibility to embrace the life, not hold onto the death. 

Their death means they have done all they were supposed to do on the living side of this place we call Earth. Allow them to move-on, and continue as they need to in their spiritual journey. Caging a spirit will not bring peace. Seek peace, focusing on peace, embracing peace, you will have peace. Seek conflict, seek to hold onto death, and seek to embrace that place of death, you will always have conflict.

Now, back to why my walk through the park brought me to writing this today:

I have always felt that instead of these horrible memorials placed where a person died, you should do something positive to show that person you learned from their life, their love, all they gave. Do something in a place that will spread joy, free their spirit, and allow others to feel their love. One way I have always felt was very appropriate, was to plant a tree in their honor. Or you could do something as simple as take a picture of something they loved, and display it where others can see, feel, and enjoy it.

Well, here in Vegas, it is a common belief that people can do whatever they want. People believe here they can create their own reality. Vegas was created originally because people felt they could do as they pleased here, they felt there was no God here, and they could make things how they wanted. How people perceive “nature” here is a common example of this. Here, people have come to a desert, a place where “nature” is quite a different creature. But, they want to create their own version of nature, play God, so to speak.  To Vegas, nature means concrete, lots of harsh lighting, and water where no water would normally exist. To Vegas, nature is not what is natural, but what they can build and call their nature. Sunset Park is a prime example of this. Nothing you see in Sunset Park is natural here. It is all man-made, man-sustained, and as unnatural as could be. But this is what makes Vegas happy.

The first time I visited this park, I noticed all the memorial plaques at the bases of the trees. Last night, I noticed most of them were gone. I actually had to search to find any. I found a few. Some were buried and I had to dig them out to be seen. This one sums it all up quite well:

“Born of the wilderness, Free as the wind” … Harldy.

Last night I realized why this park always felt so much like a spiritual battle-field. Because it is. So, Yes, the people of Vegas did attempt to create a memorial using trees, and attempt to create a positive place to make the memorials, but they failed by forcing man-made creations and forcing “nature” where it would not normally be. For a spirit to be free, it must be how it would naturally. That is how sprits work. We cannot control them, nor create a place where we think they should exist. The creation of this park, plus the way it was recently renovated to make it what man wants, instead of embracing what nature provided, only created more conflict. What happened to the rest of the memorials that disappeared during the renovation? Simple: they were in the way of what man wanted, so they were removed.  Again, this falls into the category of why this park feels like a spiritual conflict. Because the humans were lazy, needed a place to group all their memorials together, and create nature in what they wanted it to be. None of these memorials was placed someplace a person had loved life, had found his/ her spiritual path, had taught others to be as free as the wind.  A memorial placed in a forced location, will always cause spiritual conflict.

Once I unearthed the above memorial, then looked around at how this park is made, it all made sense. This is what our world has come to. Today, people want something that is only what they create, not what The Creator has provided for them. Today, people do not want to embrace death, but want to create their own expectation of what that person’s life was supposed to be. When people say a person died too soon, they are being greedy, and had somehow convinced themselves they knew better how the Universe operates than The Creator. All the memorials that so harshly disrupt our land, at the place where a death occurred are creating spiritual conflicts. When did people decide they know more about life than our Creator? Why won’t people welcome and embrace all that is free for them to enjoy? Why do people not want peace?

This is how the park feels:

So much conflict, not natural...

I will never claim to be an expert about life and death. But If I have found peace, understanding, and acceptance of Death, don’t you think I might possibly have a grasp… even if only a tiny grasp? I learned early in life to find people who understood things better than you did, and pick their minds, their heart, and grow from their understanding.  I certainly do not yet grasp all there is to know about life and death… that is why I am still alive. None of us can grasp it all while we are on this Earth… on the living side of life.

I do know what causes conflict, what causes peace, and seek to learn more every day. How about you?  

Oh, and speaking of cemeteries: Why do people think they are morbid? Why do people feel death is scary? It is part of life. It is the cycle of life. 

I remember when I was 13, my Mom got a new apartment. I chose to go live with her.  I took the trash to the dumpster, one night at sunset. As I approached the dumpster, I noticed an old trail overgrown with ivy, and brush leading thru the dark forest. I set the trashcan by the dumpster and followed the trail, not bothering to tell Mom I was wandering off. Deep in that little forest, I discovered a pioneer cemetery. Yup, it was dark. But it was so peaceful, beautiful and filled with wonderful spirits. I felt the lettering on the moss-covered tombstones, and embraced how wonderful it was. It did not take long for Mom to realize I had not returned. She went to the dumptster and saw I had not even emptied the trashcan, but left it there. Of course she did not worry. Instead she asked herself what I discovered to do instead. She went back, got a flashlight, and looked around. She found the overgrown trail, and knew I had gone that way. She followed it, and came to the same place I was. She was not worried. She was happy. She knew me well enought to know I was safe, and found something wonderful to discover. That cemetery was so peaceful, and wonderful. it was like our own littel secret escape. We visited it often for years after that day. 

Care to take a walk through a cemetery with Me? You might just find peace :)

I Finally Got To Church Again

I finally got to church again…

This may come as a surprise to many.

I Know Most people have a certain vision of what church is. I am different from any you will ever meet. Life has been hectic, and for many reasons, I just have not made it a point of getting to spend some quality time in church. It has been too long. I visit church every day, but just not enough. Yesterday, I finally went to church again for an entire day. Yup, it was not a Sunday. It was Tuesday. There was most definitely The Blessing of The Water. There was definitely some Mud Slinging, Some devastation, some restored hope, some cold-chills, and even some hot air. There were slippery-slopes, and even those who slithered a bit. I even saw the scared, and the joyous. I saw some struggling for life, and even those who are happily feasting. There were bright moments, and even very dark times. I saw some searching for shelter, and those who were content even if their home had just been wrecked. I saw those of every color, and from every age group. Even The Lighting and Sound were impressive. The show was spectacular.

Everyone has a different reason for why they go to church. Some go for the ritual. Some go for fellowship. Some go for spirituality. Some go for reasons nobody else would understand. Some go to “be in God’s House”. Some go to hear God’s words. Some go to be told what to do. Some go to learn. Some go for social reasons. For every single person on this Earth, there is a different reason why they go to church.

I know most churches exist within a formal structure, or building, and while they are supposedly barrier-free, they are in fact full of barriers. The very nature of most churches is all about barriers, fitting-in, and acceptance of only those who fit the description desired by those who run the church. Too many churches force their members to fit into certain beliefs, or even certain behaviors. This is why there are so many various types of churches. Each one caters to a different group of people. Most people are not allowed to be themselves, but must act like something they are not in order to be accepted at a church. Most people need to dress a certain way to attend church. Most churches ask their members to pay for the privilege of attending. Many churches tell their member when and where they can attend. Many churches tell their members when to stand, when to sit, when to say hello to their neighbor, and when to pray, sing, or applaud. For those who find pleasure in these sorts of churches, I am happy for them. I am glad they find what they need, and would never attempt to discourage them from finding that joy, or attending their church. That is not the church for me. I have attended many, and even found joy in various parts of each of them. None I have attended have given me Totally what I need in a church.

Why Do I go to Church? I have many reasons: Spirituality, stress-relief, and to uplift my soul. The Most important reason I go to church is to spend time with God. Do not misinterpret this, because I can, and DO Spend Every single moment of my life with God. By going to church, I can forget everything else happening in life, and Only focus on God. When I try and focus on God while immersed in everything else life throws our way, it is easy to focus on life, and not on God. It seems too much of our daily lives are not about God, and especially the people we are forced to be around on a daily basis. Very few businesses make God a priority, let alone recognize there Is a God. When I go to church, I can see exactly what God wants me to see. When I go to church, Nothing else matters. When I go to church, I can be free. I can be Myself. I can be the Unique Human God has created Me to be. When I go to church, I can forget everything, and everyone else. When I go to church, God is THE ONLY ONE who judges ME. When I go to church, I can wear whatever I want to wear, or be as naked as I choose. To God, it does not matter what I do, or do not wear. God welcomes me. God created me. God does not care how I spend time with Him, only that I DO. My church does not ask me to pay for the joy it offers. My church does not ask me to attend only at certain times, on certain days. My church does not decide for me when, or even where I pray. My church does not decide which music I should listen to, or when I should sing along. My church does not even ask me to praise God. When one is in my church, there is never a moment that one could possibly forget you are in God’s House. My church is never heated or cooled by mechanical means, but it is always a perfect. My church does not need to worry about if the roof will leak when it rains, because when at my church, you would expect to get wet if it rained. The lighting in my church is always perfect…sometimes extremely bright, and often extremely dark…but never so dark I cannot see what I need to see. The sound-system is the oldest style known to man, never malfunctions, and Always delivers the most pure sounds. My church does not even ask that I bring others along with me. In fact, it seems to thrive with less people. I often am all alone when I go, but it hardly feels lonely in such a wonderful place. Occasionally I will find another who wishes to attend with me, and they are always amazed at how magnificent it is.
One might wonder where this wonderful church is that I can be free.

This Wonderful Church is not a secret, nor is it hidden. It is widely advertised, and even known by all. Every human is aware it exists, but not many choose to go there. This church is not new, nor is it trendy. This church has existed as long as humans have on this Earth. This Church is NATURE. Nature is my church. It is not about religion, but about spirituality.

Nature is known by many names: Mother Nature, The Great Outdoors, Outside, and sometimes Mother Earth. There are easily hundreds more, but they all mean the same thing. Whatever name one wishes to call it, it is all the same. Some wish to claim God does not exist. That is fine. Those who enjoy all He has created, and still deny he exists have Waaay more faith than I do. It is really easy to accept, and acknowledge God than to go through life denying one exists. Some of my greatest friends do not believe in God. We can still enjoy Nature together. We each go for the same reasons, yet call it something else. Literally, we attend the same church. Nature does not care of you believe, or not. It exists, we enjoy it. Call it what you want, you are still enjoying it, and getting the benefits of it. I can take my most adamant “There is No God” friends out in Nature, and they always love it. I do not have to tell them I am taking them to My Church, but they get the same thing out of it as I do. Often when admiring nature, you hear the non-believer exclaim, “Oh My God, This is beautiful!” I do not bother to remind them that they claim to not believe.

If I could live solely in nature, instead of in a society-deemed necessary dwelling among others, I would. It is virtually illegal, and almost impossible in most of today’s world to be allowed to live with nature. Our world has deemed it necessary to live a certain way, and attempt to block-out all of what God has created. I thrive in nature, and enjoy every moment I can outdoors. Often, living in today’s “indoor-world” I find I do not get out in Nature enough. Living in a large city is also a hindrance for enjoying nature. I must work daily just to take time to enjoy the sky, air, weather, and all that is natural around me daily. While I hate the living requirements in the city, I also willingly submit rather easily to the creature comforts created by indoor-living. I moved into this apartment in March. By mid-April, I had set-up my comfy-chair on my balcony so I could use my computer outside. I was on my balcony every chance I got… until the September rains drove me indoors. Now I have my comfy chair set-up just inside the open window. I can still see the sky, feel the fresh air, and feel the breeze, just not get as wet while using the computer. You might ask why I am using a computer, if I would rather be in nature? Simple. I admit to having adapted to many of the creature comforts. You can bet that if I lived in nature, I would find plenty to do, rather than be on a computer. (And You would not be reading this blog, because I would not have created it.) When in nature, I can find a comfy log, or rock to sit, or rest on, but in our society, I am forced to buy a chair which hardly comes close to the comforts provided by nature. Apartment complexes frown upon things that occur while living in nature. I cannot chop wood, carve great walking sticks, or even have a fire for outdoor cooking. I cannot keep deer, birds, and raccoons as pets. Nor can I live amid the high limbs of a tree. If you even climb a tree in the city, you risk arrest. Forget living naked in the city. Just the mere sight of a naked person freaks out most people in the city. In nature, there is seldom anybody else around, and those who happen to be never have a problem with seeing a naked person. In the city, I cannot wash in a stream, or waterfall. I am forced by society to wash in a walled-in room without even a window. If you have ever had the pleasure of showering in the open-air, you know nothing compares. Growing your own food in your own garden is such a wonderful treasure. Gardens in a city are not easy for one to do. I cannot sleep under the stars, for fear of being mugged, beaten, and robbed in my sleep. I am forced to sleep indoors, keeping a radio, or fan on to drown out the ruckus created by society outside my walls. In nature, it is hardly silent at night. It is often a cacophony of sounds, but they are so peaceful, and easily lull one to sleep. While lying down, you can watch the stars, and often not even realize you have drifted off to sleep until you hear the morning birds greeting you. I am forced to close, and lock doors to keep others from taking what few things I actually do have. Yes, I would happily live among bears, rather than among the humans in most cities. With bears, one knows what they want, and why. City humans are a different kind of creature, and one never can understand their reasoning. If I had the chance, and did not have to work, live, and survive in a city, I would take that in a heartbeat! Yep! I would gladly attend Church Every single living moment of my life.

Yesterday, I finally got to go out in nature for an entire day. It was a stormy day, and looked to be cold, wet, rainy, and full of thunderstorms. Nature delivered exactly that… and more! I got all the storm I had expected, Plus a bonus of sunshine, and slight warmth after the storm. I saw flooding, and devastation. I saw many critters who looked scared, soaked, and homeless, and at the same time, I saw many critters thriving under the conditions. The ground was saturated, muddy, mucky, and treacherous to traverse. It was Wonderful! Lakes, rivers, and puddles suddenly appeared where normally only dry sand would be. I saw rivers magically appear, creating their own path as the water, mud, rock, and sand surged downhill, finding the easiest path. It was amazing to watch as something that would be almost impossible for a human to move was transformed in minutes by nature. As fast as the desert can be torn-up by the storms, it seems to regenerate itself just as quickly. One area which had been burned bare in early spring was as lush and thriving on this fall visit. I could not walk among the burned trees because of the thick brush which had grown in the area. The birds, insects, and lizards were thriving. The rain turned all the desert-brush brilliant-green in a matter of hours, compared to what would normally just be shades of brown, grey, and dust. I saw trees that had been uprooted and deposited elsewhere from the floods, yet magically, there were the most delicate wild-flowers still rooted in the same spot. Even after the thunderstorm passed, there were cold winds, and even a few threats of more rain. The clouds were incredible, and danced, changed color, shape, and size in mere minutes. The shades of blue created were spectacular! A Painter with a vivid imagination could not create skies the way nature does. Even the color of the ground, which is normally grey, brown, and sometimes slightly red, was more colorful than I could have painted myself. Every dust-covered rock now was washed-clean, glistening, sparking, and wanting to be noticed.

I saw a lizard that had gotten mired in the muck, and almost gave-up from exhaustion. I helped him to higher ground. He shook off the muck, and went on his way. I saw birds, insects, and fish of almost every type, color, size and shape. As the sun set, I saw the bats come out, and heard the cries of the coyotes all around. The colors and magic in the sunset was breath taking! As the flood waters receded, I saw herons, ducks, and egrets go back to their reeds to settle in for the night. The fish and frogs were happily dining on the surface of the now-calm waters. Not one of these wild critters worried about me. They went about their life as though I was part of it.
How about you? Will you attend Church with me? Would You live in my church? I will always treasure what little bits of church I can get daily, and look forward to the few days a month when I can spend an entire day there. Every time I see the sun rise, I am in awe. Every single storm is an amazing experience. Every plant that grows is a wonder in itself. Every sunset is just as impressive, if not more so than the last one I saw. Every rock, critter, or cloud leaves me wanting more. I will never give up the dream and hope of one day being able to live in My Church. I have, in the past, lived in my tent for months at a time, and if the opportunity arises, I will gladly do it again!

I Often, and Mostly, go to church alone. This is not because I Always Want to be alone. It is because I have given-up trying to get others to join me. I have wasted too many days of my life waiting for those who say they want to go, but never do. The invitation is always open… If You want to join me, please do! I would treasure your company, and enjoy spending quality time with you. I need to go. I do not need to wait. I will go…. There is never a set route, path, destination, or time. I let God lead. Where I end up on any given day is always a mystery, and even a surprise to me. I am never disappointed, and often find joy where I would not have looked for it myself. I make sure to pack enough food, water, clothes, and supplies for whatever may come up, and for however long the day lasts. I often end up not coming home until very late into the night. While I am sometimes tired from a long journey, I am Always rejuvenated, and My Spirit is fully-alive after a day at church. Would you join me? Would you like to meet My God? Would You like to see My Church? It may be easier than you first think. Nature is world-wide. Nature is everywhere. Even in the middle of a big city, all you have to do is look up. The sky is nature. Watch the sun rise, or watch the sun set. Weather is nature. Notice how the weather behaves, how it feels, and how it affects you. Feel the sunshine, or watch the rain. Go for a walk, and look at all that is around you. Fall is fast closing-in…watch as the leaves change color. Watch a bird, or a squirrel. Watch any critter. This is Nature. See? You Can Join Me at Church. Nature is not about religion… It Welcomes Everyone. Oh, and You say you have not yet My God? Yes, you have… AND You HAVE FELT IT. Everything I just listed is IT. You might be surprised if you got to know IT… Welcome IT.
(A footnote: When I originally wrote this in 2011, all references to "GOD" were also listed as "HIM" ... Today, Feb 7 2018, when fixing the photos that had no longer shown, I changed all "HIM" Referneces to "IT" ... I have grown, learned, and realized how limited my views used to be and how I also allowed myself to label the spiritual power of the Universe to be a specific gender in label. I no longer limit any being to a narrow lable of any gender. I no longer limit my own thoughts to placing ANYthing in boxes by societal prescribed genders.) Usually when fixing blogs that photos have disappeared from, I leave the entire blog intact, since those were my thoughts at the time of the writing ... This one was too horrible to leave as it was.

Every one of these photos was taken when I was at Church Tuesday. (A note about the day of the week... I wrote this Blog Wednesday, but did not publish it until Thursday.... In case anyone notices the difference where I mention "yesterday" as Tuesday at the top) :)

I HOPE You Have A Wonderful, and Blessed Day! Jon~=:-)