No Swimming Allowed

Water Everywhere, But No Swimming Allowed...

This is the First Summer of My Life I did not swim.

I moved to Las Vegas, which one would consider to have perfect swimming weather. The summer weather is always warm, and the water is too. There are pools every few feet, it would seem. I even moved into an apartment complex which has a pool. Every hotel, resort, or attraction has some sort of fountain, or water-feature. For a town that has so many water-features, it is amazingly prohibitive for swimming, or even just being allowed to play in any of the water features. As Fall came this year, it dawned on me that This is The First Summer in my entire life which I have not gone swimming. Not even once. I have only been able to even wade in a little bit of water. 44 summers in my life, and only one…this one… I have not gone for a single swim. This year, I did not get to play, swim, or even enjoy water during the summer time. Swimming was not something I ever tried to make happen, it just was always part of my life. I love to swim, and am an excellent swimmer. This year, the most I can claim to have done is wade into some water barely over two-feet deep. This was at The Las Vegas Wash. I got some fun pictures, and yes it did feel wonderful, but hardly deep enough to swim in. Wading does not count as swimming.


And even doing this I was risking a possible run-in with the authorities. In many places along The Las Vegas Wash, there are signs stating no swimming, no wading, and admonishing that one is not even allowed to be close enough to actually enjoy the water. The places I chose to enjoy, there were no signs.



















~Naked Alert!~
Caution... One of these pictures below shows my nekkid Butt... Look with open mind, or closed eyes.

The Water felt Great.... but it was barely over two feet deep.

You might ask why I did not visit any of the millions of available pools in Vegas, or even the one in my own apartment complex?
The answer to the one in my own apartment complex is simple. It never opened. When I moved-in, they showed me a sparkling clean pool, and even gave me the rules, and hours of availability. After noticing the gate was always locked, I inquired, and was told “Soon.” But soon never came. Finally, The Nevada Health Department chained the gates, and posted huge notices all around the enclosure stating it would not open, and anyone entering the enclosure would be subject to fines. Hmmm. The management will not say the reason for this. I find this to be triply ironic. First, I am extremely cautious about entering public pools which I cannot be sure of the quality or integrity of cleanliness. After seeing how some of my neighbors behave, I am certain I never would have even stuck a toe in the pool. The second reason I likely would not have used it is because of its location. It is situated as a “fish-bowl”… sort of a focal-point for all to view. I am never fond of being “on display” around people I do not trust. Yes, you can safely say I do not trust most of my neighbors. And the third reason would be that I will not go into any pool that is crowded with rowdy people. This pool, if it had opened would likely be nasty, crowded, and always surrounded by the lurkers. This whole city seems to be filled with people who like to lurk. Very creepy, indeed. There is no way I would swim, let alone even hang-out, anywhere near people who act creepy, lurk, and have no sense of personal-space.

This brings us to the next question: Why would I not go to any of the millions of available public pools? Simply for the same reasons as above. Vegas seems to be all about “The Party”. For some reason, people do not want to go to a pool to relax, and enjoy peace and quiet. I cannot understand the desire for crowding hundreds of rowdy people into a pool, serving food, alcohol, and adding a live D.J., and then calling it “a place to relax”. The very nature of the environment is the exact opposite of relaxing. Before moving here, ANY public pool I had been to would not allow rowdiness, or music audible to others. If someone wanted music, they played their own device politely and quietly, or used headphones. The idea of having someone else’s idea of music-choice blared at you without any regard for each person’s own preferences. And the fact that the public pools here actually encourage food and beverages inside the enclosure, AND IN the pool, too does not sit well with me. If people wish to have food or beverages around their own private pool, that is fine, but who in their right mind would ever take food and beverages Into their pool? They work hard to keep their pools clean, and safe, Why would anyone want to create an unsafe environment, especially in their own back yard? All my training in health-codes, and keeping public pools clean, and safe tells me that these pools in Vegas are far from clean. It really makes me wonder if there are any health-related certifications required to operate a public pool in Vegas. Then you add the idea that people are consuming alcohol, yes…Even IN the pools. People already behave badly enough without the added effect of the alcohol. There is absolutely no reason I would visit a place so unsafe, and filled with stress.

Also, there is the abundance of enormous fountains, water-features, and man-made lakes all over Vegas. Every single one of them prohibits anyone to even think about touching, let alone actually getting in, and enjoying them! I have been all over the U.S. and never seen so much prohibited activity. Most communities want people to enjoy the beauty, and comforts. Vegas does not want anyone to touch, or enjoy anything unless they can collect money for it. The reason Vegas builds such wonderful water-features is to make it Look appealing. These are only an attraction used to get people inside the establishments. (The state of New York had some rather unique rules about the same thing… but that is another post in itself). It seems Vegas did have a water-adventure park a long time ago. The only reason I can find for it having shut-down was because they do not want people to enjoy water here.

People in Vegas claim there is no money here. I beg to differ. It may be true that the locals do not have much money, but that is because they spend it on activities with ridiculously high prices. The prices charged to get into a pool around here are astronomical. They wish to encourage females to come to their pools, by giving them a “discount” compared to the price they charge men. There was even a recent lawsuit alleging that policy was discriminatory against males. The court threw it out, claiming “people go to a pool to see boobs, not men.” That is one thing I absolutely hate about Vegas. They are so hung-up on sexualizing everything, that they cannot even see something for a non-sexual activity. Excuse me?!? What happened to going to a pool for swimming? If you wish to have a place to lay-down near the pool, there is a charge for a chaise lounge. If one wishes to not rent the lounge, or chair, the only option is to be in the pool, or stand. I would venture to guess that many here actually do make a lot of money, because of the events in which they choose to partake in. Even if I could afford such extravagances, I likely would not. The pool environments here are absolutely not comfortable. There are many pools that are not as expensive, but they cater solely to kids, or people with kids. They encourage running, screaming, and total rowdiness. The pools are only 5-feet deep, with no diving boards, or actual places to swim. It seems people do not view a pool as a place to swim anymore. They view a pool as a place to hang out and be incredibly misbehaved. They crowd hundreds of people in, and there is rowdiness, and raunchiness, but nobody is actually swimming. It seems the pool has become just a wet-club in which to hang-out. Perhaps there are pools in Vegas that do in fact exist for the purpose of swimming, and relaxing. Could there be a pool that is not a party scene, a pool that is clean, and respectable? I have yet to locate them.

Maybe I have been spoiled in life. (HA!) Maybe by having learned how to properly be quiet, respectful, and clean, it has jaded me. Maybe having been certified in pool-maintenance, and health codes has made me unwilling to compromise? Could it be that knowledge, and respect are a bad thing? Maybe by learning how to relax, and enjoy a peaceful environment, allowing others to find peace, and relax, too has tainted me. Could it be possible that the people around here, and those who come as tourists have never before been taught peace, cleanliness, respect, and how to enjoy life without being rude? Could it be that this is how they have always been shown to behave, and have not had the true joy of enjoying life? Could it be they think they must be rude to have fun? Could it be they do not understand that a clean, safe environment can indeed be wonderful? Could it be that the notion of personal space is a completely unheard-of concept? Could they actually believe cramming thousands of people into a small place is a good thing? Could it be that having learned the joy of swimming in nature has made me unwilling to be confined in cramped spaces with lots of others? Could it be that, having had the joy of wearing no clothes while swimming makes me look at swimming pools with required swim-costume necessary rules makes me not want to participate? Keep in mind that just because a pool is open to the public, it is not always mandatory to wear a swim-costume. I have had the pleasure of using many apartment, condo, hotel, motel, campground, and resort pools and jacuzzis all across the nation without having to wear a swim-costume. Very few actually have rules requiring the wearing of a mandatory swim-costume. For whatever reason, most people choose to wear a swim-costume, but it is not required.

I believe I am one of a very few who feel this way. I see photos all the time of people supposedly having fun in such an environment. Perhaps their idea of fun is different than mine. Perhaps they have just never experienced true joy, peace and relaxation.

As kids, we were in the pools from birth. We learned how to be expert swimmers, and there was no place we could not swim. There were pools all over the place we enjoyed. Some were private, some public. Every single one of them had the same expected rules. If you ate, or drank, it was never in the pool. Rowdiness was not allowed at public pools. In private pools, you could be rowdy only if the others also wanted to be rowdy. If rowdiness disturbed the other pool users, the rowdy one(s) were expected to calm down, or leave. Respect for personal space was always adhered-to. You knew you had to respect the rules, or you would lose the privilege of being able to enjoy swimming.

We would go to the beach, and swim in the ocean. We would go to the rivers, and lakes… and swim. The little creeks which ran through town had parks, and everyone always played, and swam in them. At summer camp, we would be encouraged to swim all the way across the lake to get another merit-card. The large public pools had high-dives, and diving boards. The mountains had cliffs 100-feet high over a deep spot in the river. You would jump, or dive-in, and then swim in the pool below. There were canals for irrigating the farms, and we would swim in those. Water meant you could get in it, and enjoy it.

Every place I have ever been, you could freely swim in the rivers, lakes, and streams. (Again, New York is the exception, which I will cover in another post). Most cities allow people to enjoy the water-features, and often you will see people playing IN the fountains. Before moving to Vegas, I Did look at all the maps, and made sure there was water. I just did not expect it to all be supposedly off-limits. Yup…even in the middle of a desert, there is plenty of water. But for some reason they want to keep people from swimming.



As Soon as I put The Ducks in this fountain,
The Police were questioning me.

Even just putting a few rubber ducks in the water for a picture will attract the police very quickly. What the *@! They do not even want a simple rubber duck to go for a swim! (To be fair, there are a few that do not react as if you are breaking the law by putting a rubber duck in the fountain…. But not many.)

Caesar's Palace is one of those places which does not seem to jump to harrass those who play with the fountains. Here is a fun shot of my friend Colleen Quickly puting her duck, Cheese, in a Caesar's Fountain. We had a blast that day, and not once were we bothered about touching the water.



(please visit Colleen, and here wonderful Ducks at http://duckshow.com/ )

I find it incredibly strange that I could go an entire summer without having gone swimming even once! And the Only water I have actually been in was a couple of times along The Las Vegas Wash, where I possibly could have gotten in some sort of trouble for even touching it, let alone getting in. One time, I noticed a cloud of dust approaching very fast on the other side. I used my binoculars and saw it was two police cars speeding toward me. I was naked, but I did not worry, because I know the laws, and even if they sought to arrest me, they could not, because simply naked is not illegal. (Lewd and Obscene Are illegal, but I was neither of those.) I did not run. I kept wading, and walked downstream. They followed me along the far side of The Wash, and watched me for about an hour. They never came where I was, nor did they motion for me to come to them, but it was clear they were in a hurry to come watch me, and then continue to do so. Perhaps they were just curious about me, and my ducks, or perhaps they were hoping I would do something they could use as a reason to come closer. But they only watched, and followed. Perhaps it was a slow day, and the idea of watching a naked man pose Rubber Ducks, Flamingos, and Trolls for pictures was amusing for them.
~Naked Alert~
The Picture below shows Me Naked...
But Nothing is visible.
Look with an open mind, or Closed Eyes...
You might just find how funny it really is! (and can see why the officers might have been amused to watch me.)


Even Though I never found deep enough water to swim in along the wash, I always Find plenty of fun!

I am 43 years old. Every summer for forty-three years I swam. (Yes, the year before I was even one counts.) This year I did not.


I will continue to explore, have fun, and play anywhere I can do so legally. I am sure that eventually I will find my groove, and find an acceptable place to swim in, or near Vegas. It cannot be possible for ALL water around here to be illegal, or a party-zone, can it?