No Boys Allowed

No Boys Allowed.



No Boys Allowed

This may seem like a strange thing for a guy to post. But I am strange, and like none other, so I think it is very fitting. This is the poster that hangs in my bathroom. I feel that a bathroom should be kept clean, and if you keep your bathroom clean enough, even the most discerning women will not feel uncomfortable using your facilities. This poster sums it up pretty well. Two young ladies, using side-by-side urinals, and leaning in for a kiss.

Just because I was born with a penis, do not assume I am in any way like most males

Most guys make a mess all over the toilet. I find this totally unacceptable, disgusting, and there is no reason for it. In fact, that is THE reason I say a man's toilet should always be spotless. You come equipped with a device which allows you to aim at the appropriate region you wish to hit. Most toilets have a fairly large target area. Aim and Control. It is not a difficult concept. If by the rare chance, you happen to leave a drop on the rim of the bowl, simply wipe it off with a square of toilet paper. This may be a new concept, and perhaps nobody has cared enough to inform you of this... but you might have noticed, there is a handy roll hanging right next to the toilet. It is there for you to use. One square is all you need.

I learned when I was a little boy, that the purpose of the penis was to eliminate urine from your body. I also learned that the toilet was the primary socially acceptable place to take care of this. (I would much prefer to use a tree outside, but the neighbors complained) The next step was learning how to aim to keep it in the toilet. A few times missing, and having to clean up the mess was all it took to learn proper aim.

Most males claim to be superior in things related to intelligence, aim, trajectory, force, and calculating how to hit their target. Whether they are in sports, driving, military, construction, emergency services, etc. Males generally think they are better at aiming, and hitting their intended target. Hmmm, could this be the reason more women are becoming firefighters, and joining the military? Because in those fields, Proper Aim is a Critical Skill! Could it be that because men cannot hit a simple, fixed, and even fairly large target in the bathroom, they are being replaced in the field? Hehe. (I gotta give credit where credit is due on that last thought. Yup! leave it to my own Mom to come up with that gem!) 

You might wonder when I adapted this view. To me, it was not an option. Aim accurately, and there was never any mess to clean up. Make a mess, and instead of getting to go play, you then had to clean up your mess. I chose to eliminate the mess entirely. My brother was evil and mean to me all my life. He would make a mess in the bathroom, and I was always disgusted to have to use the same toilet he made so gross. When Mom or Dad would ask who made the mess, he would always blame me, and then I had to clean up after him. It did not take many times for me to wise-up. I would make sure Mom went in and looked as soon as I had finished, but not tell him she had done so. Then she would go in after he was finished, and come out and ask who made the mess, and he would automatically tell her it was me, not him. Then she would nail him for lying to her. It did not take long for her to see how he was trying to always blame me. Mom got in the habit of  checking after each of us had used it, and knew I was spotless.

I have always had female friends, and roommates. There has Never been a single one who found a messy toilet from me. Sadly, their own boyfriends would leave it a mess, and could not grasp the concept. There have been many times in my life where I have actually banned some men from using my bathroom. I should not have to go in with bleach, and gloves after a guest in my home uses the toilet. They are a guest in my home. That means they must respect my home, and not trash it. I have had the occasional male roommate, and I have actually seen a few that do know how to aim. They are rare. Some of the male roommates I have had, I just had to find a way to survive living where the toilet was not clean. I always celebrated when it was time for them to move out.

I often hear men say to their boys "If you shake it more than twice, you are playing with it." What The Hell?? Why would anyone shake it when they were done?? Do they not understand the concept of a hose, filled with liquid, shaken about wildly makes splatter? Why would they want to shake it all over the entire bathroom, their pants, their shoes, and anything else in the region?? Ok, guys, it really is simple: Aim. Then, simply squeeze, Do Not Shake. Not a single drop goes anywhere but in the bowl. 

When I was married, she had two boys. A three year old, and a four year old. Prior to me entering their life, nobody cared enough to teach them how to use the toilet. All they knew was drop their pants, and let it go. I did not have the option to ban them from using the toilet, since they lived in the same house. It took me less than a week to train them how to aim, and never make a mess. How did I train them so easily? Simple. They made a mess, they had to clean it up. They hated having to clean it up. They were eager to learn the right way. The Clean way.

Many men who read this will feel offended. Too bad. I cannot help that you never cared enough to learn how to use the tool you were given.

Ask youself this: is my bathroom clean enough that two young ladies would feel comfortable, and even romantic while using it?

Public restrooms are the worst! Why are there always puddles on the floor in front of the toilet??

Why should I have to stand in a puddle because you cannot hit the target?

Stand closer, guys, it must be shorter than you think!