No, You can't touch it....

No, You Can't Touch It..., a photo by JOn's ~=:-) view on Flickr.

Oh! The Freedom to be a Child! This is one of those that always makes me laugh! Yet, it is so true, too! It is just natural to be curious about those humans we encounter that do not look the same as us. I LOVE This cartoon, because it shows that both the boy, and the girl have never seen one of the opposite sex. It shows the girl is curious about what that thing is. It shows the boy wonders how she broke hers off. The beauty of being a child, is that this joy, wonder, and curiosity is completely acceptable, and not looked upon as shameful, weird, or wrong. Children are free to do what comes naturally. Children explore curiosities. They touch. They look. They ask questions. They learn. They play. They enjoy. Having frequent exposure, in a safe environment, to people that do not look exactly the same as you helps encourage acceptance and understanding. Many children do not have siblings, or playmates of the opposite sex. They often go through most of their childhood never having had the experience of seeing, touching, or knowing that there IS anything different than how they were made. Often, there are families that will never allow their children to ever see someone of the opposite sex, whether another sibling, playmate, cousin, or even their own parents. They hide the body with the idea that somehow it is wrong, harmful, and somehow sexual. Sometimes, when they do finally see what the opposite sex looks like, they are horrified, traumatised, or even made to feel dirty for their curiosities. They want to know, but are forbidden to look, touch, learn. Often, those children will resort to other ways of seeing what another looks like, or feels like. Those methods are usually done with shame, or riddled with guilt, and sometimes end up getting the curious one into trouble. Sometimes, once they finally do get to see, or touch, it has been forbidden for so long, that they then are obsessed with wanting even more, and go about getting it in a dangerous, harmful way.

To a child, their curiosities, and need for learning is not in any way sexual. They have no idea about that, yet. Too often many adults sexualise something that should be simple, and free. Childhood should be a free, growing, learning, exploring environment. Teach them, encourage them, inform them. Let them be children, and grow up to be fine adults. They will have plenty of time for shame, guilt, and self-imposed barriers once they become an adult. Let Children play.

This same curiosity, needing, and wanting to know carries further than just toddlers seeing toddlers. I often hear of girls who say they have Never seen a grown man naked, their own father included. Or boys who have Never seen a grown woman, thier own mother included. Then for whatever reason, they suddenly do, and they are absolutely horrified, freaked-out, feel awkward, dirty, ashamed, embarrassed. I always ask how this is even possible. A parent's main role is to teach, and educate their child in all manners pertaining to life. Part of that role is to educate them on all things that could harm that child. Teaching right from wrong, with appropriate, informed learning, and teaching boundaries to gain understanding of how much is the right amount, or when something is or is not appropraite. Teaching what is just normal everyday life, verses what is intended as harmful. Teaching how to not be suddenly shocked, especially by something that should never be shocking, and the parent knows will eventually come up. As a parent, would you rather hide things from your child, only to have them resort to other methods of learning, or would you rather teach your child to make responsible, informed decisions?  Would you rather have absolutely no idea what and where your child is learning about life (often leading to a child Never looking to a parent for guidance), or would you like to be connected, and have some control over keeping things open in a trusting, life-long openness. No child has ever been harmed by learning what the human body looks like, when it is done in a safe, responsible manner. Children are harmed all the time by learning these things through shock, embarrassment, or even through unsafe manners.

(A foot note on this: I am aware that many will quickly misinterpret this, and make it into something it is not. To clarify, simply let me say: I am not saying a parent should be showing him/ herself to a child to be seen, or touched. I am referring ro just simply living your life without totally hiding what your body looks like. Children are observant, and always learning. Your child walks in while you are dressing, showering, or even using the toilet. You go to a campground, lake, beach, or river. You need to change clothes for the activity. You often get dirty, and need to wash-up, and change clothes. Do you hide, or do you just take care of daily life, and teach in a positive, caring, open manner? These are normal daily activities, in which if handled in an open manner, the child will not be shocked, nor gather an idea it is shameful. Just relax, and be the teacher the child needs. Sure, there will be some awkward times, and especially awkward questions. if you never experienced those, you are not raising children. How you handle those awkward moments will determine how your child moves forward in life. They look up to their parents, and trust their parents. Build on that. If you yell, or suddenly hide, you have just taught the child that they need to look elsewhere for their curiosities.)

I heard a funny story that related well to this:

There was a clothing-optional community where naked was never looked at as anything other than normal life. The people who raised their families there did so just like any other community, with the only difference being they were used to seeing humans naked. The kids all had friends that were not raised in the community, but often visited, just like any friend would visit any house. One night, they had a Teens-Dance. All the teenage boys and girls invited all their friends. It was a clothing-optional event. Which meant they could wear as much clothing, or as little as they felt comfortable with. There were plenty of teenaged boys and girls, many in no clothes, some in partial clothes. The parents chaperoned, just like any other teen dance. There was no sexual mischeif, or any awkward, shameful feelings. They were simply kids enjoying the social company, and dance. During the evening, a man climbed over the fence, and positioned himself outside a large window of the community hall where the dance was. He stripped, and started to show himself in a sexual manner through the window to some of the teenage girls. In most communities, those girls would have been totally horrified, and freaked-out. Can you guess how these girls handled it? They all went outside, while completely naked, tackled, and held the man on the ground. This all happened before any of the chaperones had any time to even know what was happening. They called the police, and the man was hauled off to jail. The girls went back and enjoyed their dance, instead of needing therapy because they saw a naked human. That man that went to jail had been taught that naked was supposed to be shocking, or sexual. He failed to grasp how simple, and relaxing naked was meant to be. Imagine his surprise to be the one shocked, and caught off-guard by something so innocent. You can bet that while he was injail, he learned a lot more about naked than he ever hoped! Imagine how he would have turned out if only he had been taught that naked was no big deal?

Education, information, and understanding are all important keys to making responsible choices.

Hopefully, you also see the humor, and irony in this cartoon. have a Wonderful, safe, and happy day! JOn~=:-)